The Tangled Princess Bride
by Wolfram-and-Hart-Sauron
Summary: The King of Corona reads his grandchildren an inconceivable bedtime story about Rapunzel and Flynn Rider with fencing, fighting, torture, revenge, giants, monsters, chases, escapes, true love, and miracles.
1. A Bedtime Story

**The Tangled Princess Bride**

by Wolfram-And-Hart

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><p><strong>Chapter 1: A Bedtime Story<strong>

It was a normal evening in Corona, except for one detail: It was a quiet night. Ever since the former lost princess and the prince consort were blessed with twins, Corona Castle had rarely been this quiet, especially when bedtime came. However, this night was different. Not only were Prince Zachary and Princess Rose sick in bed, but their parents were away on state business. Having the flu was bad enough, but missing their usual bedtime story left the royal five year olds feeling down.

"Hello, children." The Queen said, as she came into her grandkids' room to put them down for the night.

"Hi, Grandma." The twins croaked in unison. The two children looked positively miserable. Rose was curled up in bed, as if trying to fall sleep and escape the horrible feelings running through her body. Zachary sat up in his bed, his arms crossed in an angry pout at the sickness and the absence of their parents,

"How are you feeling?" The Queen asked, pushing the chestnut brown bangs away so she could feel Rose's forehead.

"Not good, Grandma." Rose said, as Pascal jumped onto the bed and began nuzzling her cheek. Their mother had charged Pascal with remaining at the castle and watching the kids while she and her husband were away, and he wasn't about to let them down now.

"I hate being sick." Zachary grumbled as the Queen felt his forehead.

"I know, it's no fun." The Queen. said, smiling sympathetically as she stroked his short blond hair. "Well, it's time for you two to go to bed."

"Well, we've had to stay in bed all day, so what's the big deal now?" Zachary said sourly, pulling his blanket around his shoulders.

"Now, now, Zachary." The Queen scolded, kissing him on the forehead. "I know you aren't feeling well and you miss your parents, but that's no excuse to be rude."

"I'm sorry, Grandma." Zachary sighed, but he still wasn't happy.

"I wish Mommy and Daddy were here." Rose said, before sneezing. She turned her head to see a Pascal passing her a tissue. "Thank you, Pascal."

"I know you miss them and I bet they miss you two just as much." The Queen said, taking Rose's hand. "But, your grandfather is on his way to read you a bedtime story."

"He is?" Rose asked, smiling excitedly.

"Yep, he'll be here any minute." The Queen said, smiling.

"It won't be the same, but I guess it's better than nothing." Zachary sulked.

"Who's ready for a story?" came a booming voice from the door.

"Hi, Grandpa." The twins said as the King entered the room.

"How are you two feeling?" The King asked.

"Still feel yucky." Rose said, as Pascal scampered onto her head.

"Well, we'll see if we can't do anything about that." The King said, pulling a chair up between the twins' beds.

"Well, if you have things in hand, I think I'll be going." The Queen said. She stooped down and gave her grandchildren their good night kisses and turned to leave. "Don't keep them up too late, Dear. They need their rest."

"I won't, Sweetheart." The King said, smiling as she left the room. "Now, about that story..." The King pulled out a very thick book with the number 80 on the cover.

"What book is that, Grandpa?" Rose asked, looking at the huge book.

"Well, you see, several of the world's greatest authors came together to collaborate on a series of books. They decided on making an anthology series." The King explained.

"What's an an-thl-ogee?" Zachary asked.

"It means this book isn't all one story. It's a collection of _many_ different stories all in one book." The King showed off the cover of the book to them. "In fact, each volume has eighty stories written in it. There are nineteen volumes in all. That's why the series is called the _Nineteen 80s_."

"What kind of stories are in there, Grandpa?" Rose asked.

"Oh many kinds. There's one about a group of men who find a way to fight ghosts. There's one about a young man and an old man who make a machine that can travel back in time. There's one about a group of kids who are searching for a pirate's treasure. There are three of them about an adventurer who finds ancient treasures like the Ark of the Covenant and the Holy Grail." The King listed off from the table on contents.

"Those sound cool!" Zachary said, scooting closer to the edge of his bed. "So, which one are you gonna read us?"

"Oh, it's a very special one. It's actually one of the newer ones." The King said, flipping through the book. "Let's see... _Gremlins_... _The Breakfast Club_... _The Secret of NIMH_... Ah! Here it is. _The Princess Bride_."

"Ooh." Rose's eyes lit up at the title.

"No way!" Zachary said, thoroughly disgusted. " Please, anything else! Something with a name like that can't be any good!"

"No good?" The King asked, putting a hand over his chest in mock hurt. "This story has sword fights, pirates, giants, barbarians, intrigue, conspiracy, torture, monsters, true love, magic, revenge, miracles and death."

"Oh..." Zachary said, his eyes widening at the description. He quickly shook the excitement away and mumbled, "Doesn't sound so bad, I guess. I'll try to stay awake."

"How nice of you." The King said, smirking at his grandson's reaction.

"Forget, him, Grandpa." Rose said, throwing a crumpled up tissue at her brother. "Go on and read!"

"All right... Ahem. _The Princess Bride_ by S. Morgenstern Grimm and Greno Howard..."

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><p><strong>Author's note.<strong> Yeah, it's _Tangled_ meets _The Princess Bride_. So, if Disney cheesiness mixed with one of the best bits of 80s cheese ever doesn't sound good, you're probably not gonna like this. Then again, if you don't like _Tangled_, I don't know why you're reading this to begin with, and if you haven't seen _The Princess Bride_, click off this site, step away from your computer and go watch it now. I'll wait.

I'd also like to give credit to Dinosaur Barbecue for writing the first _Princess Bride/Tangled _story and inspiring me to make this.

I'm gonna have to give a few parts to other Disney characters, cause the cast of _Tangled_ is actually kinda small and almost none of them are given proper names.

Oh and one more thing. See the pretty review button? Click it if you believe in wuv, tru wuv, that will fowow you foweva.


	2. Once Upon A Time

Disclaimer: I own _Tangled_ and _The Princess Bride_... on DVD. The movies themselves belong to the big movies studios.

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><p><strong>Chapter 2: Once Upon A Time<strong>

Once upon a time, in the land of Andalasia, there lived a girl named Rapunzel. She was a beautiful young girl with beautiful green eyes and long blonde hair. By some twist of fate, she was born with magical hair that could heal the sick and injured when a special song was sung. However, if her hair was cut, it would turn brown and lose its power. Thus, Rapunzel never cut her hair, leaving the girl with an unbelievably long mane of hair that had grown to over thirty feet long by the time she turned ten.

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><p>"Isn't that an interesting beginning?" The King asked, looking up from the book.<p>

"Uh huh!" Rose nodded.

"I guess." Zachary mumbled.

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><p>To protect the magic and keep herself young and beautiful, Rapunzel's mother, Countess Gothel forbade Rapunzel from ever leaving her manor grounds. To keep her out of reach from anyone who might try to sneak in and take her, Rapunzel's room was the highest room in tallest tower of the manor house. As a child, Rapunzel was never even allowed to go outside in the courtyard without Gothel's direct supervision. She never met any other children, or anyone besides Gothel and the few servants around the mansion.<p>

It wasn't until Rapunzel turned ten that she made her first friends. Her tenth birthday was fast approaching and asked her mother for a special gift. She asked if she could learn to ride a horse, even if only for a pony ride in the court yard. Gothel eventually relented, but only under her closest supervision. She let Rapunzel use a young colt named "Maximus" that was too young to be of use for official needs.

As Rapunzel bounded out to the stables for her first lesson, she heard some loud noises coming from inside. She approached the door slowly and carefully. Her mother had warned her about ruffians and thugs who would show up in your home and hurt you, and she wanted to be ready to run if that was who was in the stables. As she crept closer to the half open stall door, a small lizard skittered fearfully out of the stable.

The lizard ran right into Rapunzel's feet and jumped back in fear. The young girl bent down to see the tiny creature, making him shrink back at her approach.

"It's OK, I won't hurt you." Rapunzel said, reaching down and stroking the lizard's back. The small reptile responded with delighted chirps that almost mirrored a kitten's purr.

"WHERE ARE YOU?"

Rapunzel looked up at the unfamiliar voice. A young stable boy burst through the stable door, looking very dirty and angry. The lizard scampered away from the boy and hid behind Rapunzel's ankles.

"Where'd it go?" The boy demanded.

"Where did what go?" Rapunzel asked innocently.

"That stupid little frog!" The boy snapped. The lizard hugged the back of Rapunzel's feet in fear. "He stuck his tongue in my ear and ruined my nap."

"I didn't know my mother paid you to nap." Rapunzel said, folding her arms.

"Well, um... uh..." The boy stumbled for an explanation.

"Besides, he's a lizard, not a frog." Rapunzel said haughtily.

"So, you _did_ see him!" The boy said excitedly.

"Yes, and you're not going to hurt him. He belongs to me now" Rapunzel said firmly. This pronouncement made the lizard crawl up to her shoulder and nuzzle her cheek.

"A girl with a pet frog?" The boy raised an eye brow. "You're weird, Blondie."

"Rapunzel." The girl shot back.

"Gesundheit." The boy said snidely.

"Oh and what's your name?" Rapunzel asked.

"..." The boy muttered something too quiet for her to hear.

"I'm sorry, could you say that a little louder?" Rapunzel asked.

"...s...ug...n..." The boy said, covering up his words with a cough.

"What?" Rapunzel asked again, tapping her bare foot on the ground.

The boy sighed and said, "It's Eugene. Eugene Fitzherbert."

"Well, _Eugene_," Rapunzel said, emphasizing his name. "I'm going for my first riding lesson today, so do something useful and saddle up my horse."

Eugene glared at her and replied in a strained growl, "Whatever you say, Blondie!"

Rapunzel smiled triumphantly at the stable boy's frustration. After a few minutes, the stable boy came barreling out of the stable as the colt, Maximus, came galloping after him.

"HELP!" Eugene cried as the horse chased after him across the courtyard. Rapunzel watched in shock as the young horse grabbed Eugene's boot in his teeth and began dragging him around the courtyard. Rapunzel ran and grabbed Eugene's arms and began a strange tug of war for the offending stable boy.

"Gimme him!" Rapunzel ground out as Maximus pulled Eugene back. Rapunzel won the contest, by pulling Eugene right out of his boots, sending both of them and Maximus flying backwards.

"WHOA! Whoa! Easy, boy!" Rapunzel said as Maximus tried to get past her. Eugene squirmed in the corner, afraid the young horse would get past her and trample him to death. After a few seconds of Rapunzel's soothing tone, Maximus calmed down. "Now sit. Sit!"

Maximus complied and sat before his new rider.

"WHAT?" Eugene cried in disbelief.

"Now drop the boot! Drop it." Rapunzel ordered. Maximus let the boot drop. Rapunzel smiled and began petting him. "Aw, you're such a good boy! You don't like the bad boy either, do you?"

"Excuse me?" Eugene called, pulling his boot back on. "He's a bad horse!"

"Oh, he's nothing but a big sweet heart!" Rapunzel said, eliciting a happy whinny from her new steed. "Isn't that right, Maximus?"

"You've got to be kidding me!" Eugene groaned. Max snorted and glared at Eugene, causing the stable boy to flinch.

"And he's also a good judge of character." Rapunzel said, smirking at Eugene. "Now, if you'll excuse us, Eugene, Maximus and I have some riding to do."

"Oh, _whatever_ you say, _Blondie_!" Eugene said in the most sarcastic way possible as he turned and left the crazy girl with the stupid horse.

"As for you." Rapunzel said, picking up the tiny lizard in her hands. "I think I'll name you... Pascal!"

The tiny lizard chirped happily and turned a bright sunny yellow in contentment.

"Ooh, neat! You're a chameleon!" Rapunzel said excitedly.

* * *

><p>"Wait, a there's a horse named Max and a chameleon named Pascal in this story?" Zachary asked in disbelief.<p>

"Just like ours!" Rose said, smiling at the chameleon resting in her hand. "Did you really belong to a girl with magic hair before Mommy met you?"

"Yeah, did this story really happen? Why didn't you and Max tell us before?" Zachary asked the tiny lizard.

Pascal swallowed nervously. He didn't know how to answer without raising more questions. Thankfully, the King spoke up. "Uh, I'm afraid not, this story is all made up. They just based the Max and Pascal in this story on _our_ Max and Pascal."

"Did they put anybody else we know in this story?" Zachary asked.

"Well, let's keep reading and find out." The King said, smiling mischievously.

* * *

><p>Rapunzel put the newly named Pascal on her shoulder and went to get on Maximus.<p>

"RAPUNZEL!" called a shrill voice. Rapunzel turned and saw her mother, Gothel, coming up to her looking horrified. "What do you think you're doing?"

"I was just gonna... get on the horse." Rapunzel said carefully.

"Oh, Rapunzel!" Gothel said, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Didn't I say to wait for me to help you get on the horse?"

"Yes, but I thought I could..." Rapunzel started quietly.

"Rapunzel darling, don't mumble, you know I can't stand the mumbling." Gothel interrupted.

"I just thought I'd be ready for when you got here." Rapunzel said, louder this time.

"Oh Rapunzel." Gothel said, stooping down to her daughter's eye level. "You don't know the dangers that come with horse riding. The wild creature could throw you off it so hard you'd land on your pretty little head and die!"

Maximus snorted, offended at being called a "wild creature" and the implication that he would ever do such a thing to the young girl.

"Maybe we should hold off on these lessons until you're older." Gothel said.

"NO! No, no, Mother! I'm ready now! I'll be good and listen to what you tell me, I promise!" Rapunzel pleaded.

"Well..." Gothel looked at Rapunzel thoughtfully. "All right, but you must obey my instructions to the letter. Understand?"

"Yes, Mother!" Rapunzel squealed happily. She launched herself into her mother's arms. Gothel was surprised, but quickly returned the hug.

"I love you very much, Flower." Gothel said.

"I love you more." Rapunzel replied.

"I love you most." Gothel said, kissing the top of Rapunzel's head.

The rest of the afternoon, Gothel lead Rapunzel around the courtyard on Maximus. It may have only amounted to a kiddy pony ride, but to Rapunzel, it was as exciting as racing through the forest top speed.

"Mother, you look so beautiful when you go horseback riding." Rapunzel said as Gothel helped her down from Max's back.

"Oh I know dear. Maybe if you spend enough time riding Maximus, you'll be half as good a rider as me! Though I suppose we can't hope for miracles." Gothel said, bursting into laughter. "I'm just teasing, stop being so sensitive, Darling."

"Right..." Rapunzel muttered, a little hurt by the joke.

"Well, come along, Flower!" Gothel said, turning back to the manor. "Mother's feeling a bit run down and she'd like you to sing for her."

"All right, Mother. "She turned and called Eugene over. "Eugene! Put Maximus back in his stall."

"Whatever you say, Blondie." Eugene grumbled, taking Maximus by the reigns and leading him back to the stable. Rapunzel giggled as Maximus stuck out his leg and tripped Eugene, sending him face first into the mud.

That was how it was. For the next few years, Rapunzel enjoyed learning the finer points of riding and after every lesson, she took time to torment Eugene.

"Oh _Eugene_," Rapunzel called to the stable boy, emphasizing his name the way she knew he hated.

"Yes?" Eugene groaned as he finished mucking out the stables.

"Give Max an extra helping of apples today for being such a good boy." Rapunzel said, scratching under Maximus' chin. Eugene rolled his eyes, making Maximus snort menacingly at him.

"Whatever you say, Blondie." Eugene sighed in defeat.

"Whatever you say, Blondie." Besides the occasional question about a job she wanted done, that was all he ever said to her.

The day before her thirteenth birthday, she came back from her ride and saw how worn and dirty her saddle was. So, she naturally went to Eugene for the job. She walked into the stable and found Eugene with a piece of paper and a pencil in his hands.

"Eugene," Rapunzel called out. Eugene started at the sound and quickly put the paper in his pocket, as if he thought she would swipe it out of his hands. "Uh... I need you to shine my saddle. I want it extra clean for my birthday ride."

"Whatever you say, Blondie." Eugene replied quietly.

Rapunzel froze in confusion. He had said that phrase to her many times, but lately she had noticed a change. At first, there seemed to be an edge of panic when he said, as if just talking to her terrified him. Then, he began to say it with a lot of enthusiasm. As if he was excited just to do whatever she asked. And on that day, it came out barely a whisper and had a hint of tenderness that she had never heard before.

Rapunzel looked to Max and then to Pascal in confusion. Neither animal seemed to know what brought this change on either. Something strange was going on and the young girl was determined to find out what.

Later that afternoon, Rapunzel went back down to the stables to check on Eugene. To her amazement, her fully shined saddle hung in the corner as Eugene continued scribbling on the paper he hid earlier.

"Uh, Eugene." Rapunzel called. Again, the stable boy quickly jumped up and hid the paper.

"Yeah, Rapunzel?" Eugene asked.

That got her attention. "Did you just call me Rapunzel?"

"Uh... yeah." Eugene winced.

"But... you _never_ call me by name." Rapunzel continued, stalking towards the older boy. "All the time I've known you, 'Blondie' is all you ever call me."

"Well... I call you Rapunzel now too." Eugene said defensively.

"Uh huh." Rapunzel said, knowing there was more that he wasn't saying. "Well, I see you've taken care of my saddle so... I guess I'll be going."

"Whatever you say, Blondie" Eugene said as Rapunzel turned to leave. There was that weird tone again. Rapunzel kept walking, not wanting to let on that she suspected... whatever Eugene had going on.

After walking across the courtyard, she took a chance and looked back at the stable. For a split second she saw Eugene looking at her. The boy quickly looked away, and even across the courtyard Rapunzel could tell he was blushing.

The morning of her birthday, Rapunzel went down to the stable to see Eugene.

"Eugene?" Rapunzel called.

The stable boy looked up from his task of filling Max's feedbag. "Yeah, Blondie? Ya need somethin'?"

Rapunzel looked at the boy she had spent the last few years picking on and felt something she couldn't quite explain. He had always seemed to her like one of those ruffians and thugs her mother warned her of. But now, he seemed so... different somehow. Something about him made her mouth go dry and her stomach fill with butterflies.

"Um..." Rapunzel began. She hadn't really thought this far. "What are you doing tonight?"

"Just finish my chores and go back to the servants' quarters, I guess." Eugene shrugged.

"Oh." Rapunzel said, not knowing what to say.

"Yeah..." Eugene trailed off.

The pair of young people stood there in awkward silence for several minutes. Pascal sat on Rapunzel's shoulder, looking between the two's faces in confusion. He looked over to Maximus, but the horse seemed equally puzzled. Suddenly, Rapunzel's eyes lit up.

"Eugene, tonight after lights out, come to my window." Rapunzel whispered conspiratorially.

"You window?" Eugene was surprised by such an invitation. "Well, OK, but why?"

"You'll see." Rapunzel grinned and raced out of the stable without another word.

That night, Eugene did as Rapunzel asked. He snuck out and stood under Rapunzel's window. After a few minutes, Rapunzel appeared in her window and saw him standing there. Before Eugene could say anything, he saw Rapunzel throw her long hair out the window. It was so long that it could reach the ground. Eugene watched as a large mound of blonde hair fell on top of him. The stable boy sputtered as he untangled himself from the hair.

"OK, now climb up!" Rapunzel ordered. Eugene looked hesitantly at the hair. "It's OK, it's strong enough to hold you."

After a minute's thought, Eugene just shrugged, ad began to climb up Rapunzel's hair. As he neared the top, Rapunzel reached out and helped him up.

"So, what did you want, Blondie?" Eugene asked as he stepped into the room.

"I just... wanted to see you tonight for my birthday." Rapunzel said evasively.

"Whatever you say, Blondie." Eugene said, shrugging as he looked around. He noticed that the walls were covered in paintings "Did you do all this?"

"Yep." Rapunzel said proudly. "But, Pascal helped with a few of them."

"Who's Pascal?" Eugene asked. In answer, the tiny lizard he had almost forgotten ran up and perched atop Rapunzel's shoulder. "Wow, you really kept the frog."

"Chameleon." Rapunzel corrected.

"Nuance." Eugene replied.

"Whatever, anyway, it's about to start." Rapunzel said, going to the window.

"What is?" Eugene asked.

"Just watch." Rapunzel said, leaning on the window sill. Eugene just sat there and looked out at the night sky, not knowing what the girl was waiting for.

Then it started. Hundreds of tiny lights began to rise near the horizon. They looked like tiny stars that were trying to get back to their place in the night's sky. For several minutes, the two young people and the chameleon watched as thousands of floating lights ascended into the darkness. After a while, the lights faded and the spell was broken.

"Wow." Eugene said in amazement. "What was that?"

"I don't know." Rapunzel said, still staring off into the distance. "But every year, those lights appear on my birthday. I've always wondered what they are, where they come from and why they only appear on my birthday."

"You ever ask your mom?" Eugene asked.

"Yeah, but she says they're just stars." Rapunzel groaned. "Every year I ask her to take me to see them and every year, she says, 'No, it's too dangerous.'"

"Ah, man." Eugene said, shaking his head,

"Yeah, but I can still get smaller things I want if I ask to see the lights and then later say that I have something I want more." Rapunzel explained. "That's how I got her to let me take up riding."

"A smart _blonde_. Interesting." Eugene said, impressed. "Yeah, your mom's a real gem."

"I know, she can be... _overbearing_ sometimes..." Rapunzel admitted. "But she loves me and just wants to keep me safe."

"Uh, Blondie, there's being safe and then there's being insanely paranoid." Eugene said. "Seriously, what's so terrible out there that she won't even let you leave the grounds?"

"Ruffians, thugs, poison ivy, quicksand, cannibals, snakes, the plague, large bugs, men with pointy teeth, the Dread Pirate Flynn Rider..." Rapunzel listed off.

"What?" Eugene asked, shocked.

"Well, Mother always says how dangerous the world is." Rapunzel said, shivering slightly.

"Well, yeah, it can be but you make it sound like everything in the world wants to kill you. I was raised in an orphanage and I saw a lot of the not-so- nice parts of life before your mother took me in as a servant, but it's not like I ran into those things at every turn." Eugene said. "Besides, the world's not so bad if you have the right person by your side."

"Oh please." Rapunzel scoffed.

"Really!" Eugene said emphatically. "Tell you what, one day, I'll take you to see those floating lights for your birthday."

Rapunzel spun to face him. "You... you will?"

"Sure, why not? We'll run off to wherever they come from and see them up close. We'll see the sights, meet the people and have ourselves an adventure." Eugene said nonchalantly. He picked up one of Rapunzel's paintbrushes and held it like a sword. "And if we run into trouble, I'll be there to protect you from the Dread Pirate Flynn Rider and his cannibalistic, plague afflicted, ruffians with pointy teeth who ride large bugs."

"Really?" Rapunzel asked, smiling brightly.

"Sure!" Eugene said putting the paintbrush back in its pot. "And that could just be our _first_ big adventure."

"It's a nice dream."Rapunzel smiled dreamily at the idea. "Ah, you better get going. We don't want my mother catching you."

"We don't?" Eugene asked, raising an eyebrow at her apparent concern.

"No, of course not." Rapunzel blushed, throwing her hair out the window. "Well, you better get going."

Eugene didn't budge from where he stood. He and Rapunzel just stared into each others eyes until Eugene turned to leave with a big smirk on his face.

"Whatever you say, Blondie." Eugene said approaching the window. He said it in that way again. She felt anxious as she watched Eugene climb down her hair and run back across the courtyard to the servants' quarters. Just as he got to the door, he turned back and looked at Rapunzel's window. He smiled and waved to her, which she returned. After he went inside, she took Pascal in her hands and asked for advice.

"I don't get it, Pascal, what's happening?" Rapunzel asked. The chameleon just shrugged, looking as confused as she was. "He's never been nice to me before, and now he offers to take me to see the floating lights? And the way he looks at me! Like he's never seen me before. It makes me feel... well, good, but in a really weird way. What is..."

Rapunzel stopped mid-sentance upon seeing a crumpled piece of paper on the floor next to the window. It must have been the same one Eugene was writing on earlier. She picked it up and unfolded it. Her eyes widened in surprise. It was a rough sketch of her riding Maximus. In the blank parts of the page, she saw notes.

Blondie sure likes animals.

She smiled at me today. I like her smile.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't like the frog or horse, but I do like you.

A countess' daughter would never like some poor orphan like me.

Rapunzel gasped as the truth hit her full force. She realized that when Eugene said "Whatever you say, Blondie," what he meant was "I love you." And even more amazing, she realized that she was starting to love him back.

A few days later, Rapunzel went down to the stable and saw Eugene putting hay into Maximus' stall. She didn't have a riding lesson today, she really didn't have any reason to be there at all. So, she decided to make a reason to call him. She had taken an old frying pan from the kitchen and dropped it in a pile of hay.

"Eugene!" Rapunzel called a lot louder than she meant to. Eugene looked up at her, and Rapunzel was frozen like a deer in the headlights. She pointed to the pan, which lay less than three feet away from her. "Uh... hand me that frying pan."

Eugene stared blankly at her, as did Maximus. Eugene slowly stood and went over to her. He picked up the pan and slowly handed it to her. All the while, their eyes were locked, almost afraid to look away.

Maximus watched the exchange with mounting interest, as did Pascal, who skittered over to Max's stall to give the two their space.

"Whatever you say, Blondie." Eugene said, his voice barely above a whisper. They were standing very close to each other, neither wanting to be the first to walk away. Rapunzel dropped the frying pan and brought her hands to either side his face. Eugene's arms moved as well, with one resting on her shoulder and the other curling behind her back. They pulled each other closer, leaned forward and caught each other in a kiss.

* * *

><p>"Wait a minute!"<p>

The King looked up from the book at his grandson's outburst. "Something wrong, Zachary?"

"Is this one of those mushy kissing books that Mom likes?" Zachary demanded. "You said there was action and monsters and fighting in this story. Where is it?"

"Be quiet Zach!" Rose said, glaring at her brother. "I like this."

"Well when does it get good?" Zachary asked impatiently.

"Just hold your horses, son." The King said, gesturing him to calm down. "We'll get there."

* * *

><p>For the next year, Rapunzel and Eugene kept seeing each other romantically. Rapunzel knew that her mother wouldn't approve, so they kept their relationship a secret. Every night, she would let down her hair and Eugene would climb up to her room. They would talk about their day's events, he would tell her stories of his time in town, she would tell him about her new paintings and show off her various skills. One day, Rapunzel played a prank on Eugene by using her talent ventriloquism to make him think Pascal spoke to him. Another day, Eugene brought her his favorite book, <em>The Tales of Flynnagan Rider<em>, about the Dread Pirate Flynn Rider back when he was a hero. One day, they took a look at the old frying pan Rapunzel had used in her little "plan" that day and they each painted their names in it as a commemoration of their first kiss. The more time they spent together, the deeper in love they fell. And for one moment, everything was perfect.

And then that moment ended.

"Honestly, Blondie, I don't know how you keep all this hair looking so good when it drags on the ground all the time." Eugene said as he and Rapunzel sat in the stable and had a picnic lunch.

"I just brush it and wash it every day." Rapunzel shrugged, passing Pascal a grape.

"How long does that take?" Eugene asked, preparing to take a bite of his apple. With a flash, Maximus swiped the apple out of his hand and ate it. The stable boy glared at the horse.

"Well, brushing it usually an hour or two." Rapunzel said, brushing a stand of hair behind her ear. "Washing it takes forever. We have to wash it in sections like washing a sheet."

"So, you don't wash your hair, you launder it?" Eugene joked.

"I guess you could say that." Rapunzel giggled.

"Ever thought of just getting it cut?" Eugene asked. To his surprise, Rapunzel looked horrified at the suggestion. "Well, not all of it, but it might be easier for you to get around if you got rid of a few yards of it."

"Well, I don't want to cut it! My mother and I like it this way." Rapunzel said, flustered.

"OK, OK, it's your hair." Eugene said, raising his hands in surrender. "Besides, there are more interesting things about you than your hair."

"Oh, like what?" Rapunzel smirked.

"I'm sorry, am I interrupting something?" Rapunzel and Eugene looked up at the voice and paled. Gothel stood in the doorway, glaring at the young lovers. Eugene jumped up and grabbed a shovel and tried to look busy.

"Oh, HI Mother!" Rapunzel jumped up and stepped towards her mother. "I was just getting ready for..."

"Rapunzel!" Gothel interrupted, her voice deadly calm. "What is going on here?"

"Uh, I was just talking to Eugene." Rapunzel said, trying not to sound guilty.

"I see." Gothel said coldly, looking from Rapunzel to Eugene. "Clearly you don't have enough to do if you can take so much time to distract my daughter. From now on you'll tend the stables and help the groundskeeper."

"Yes, Your Grace." Eugene sighed.

"As for you, young lady," Gothel said, turning back to her daughter. "You will come with me this instant."

Rapunzel followed her mother with her head down in guilt and fear. Once they arrived in Gothel's study, she spoke. "Mother please don't punish Eugene, he didn't-"

"Rapunzel, I thought I told you how dangerous people can be!" Gothel said, sinking into a chair with her face in her hands.

"But I've known Eugene since I was ten, he wouldn't hurt me!" Rapunzel pleaded.

"Oh no?" Gothel challenged. "Oh I forget sometimes how naive you can be. He doesn't want you, he wants what you can give him."

"Mother, I've kept the secret. He doesn't know about my hair. He's not with me just to get its magic." Rapunzel asked,.

"I'm afraid there is more that he would be interested in." Gothel groaned. "You're my daughter. One day, you'll be a countess like me. If he marries you, he'll get the title of count and all the wealth and power that comes with it. That would be awfully tempting to an orphan with nothing like him."

"But... but... No!" Rapunzel said, surprising her mother. "Eugene's not like that, Mother! He's never asked for favors or money or anything. He loves _me_, not what I can do for him."

"Oh Rapunzel." Gothel sighed. "I wish that were true, but I've had more than my share of experience with men like Eugene and it always ended in heartbreak."

"Just talk to him, Mother, you'll see that you can trust him. You'll see that he loves me for me." Rapunzel pleaded.

Gothel was silent for a long time, then sighed. "Go tell him to come to the study for a talk."

"Yes, Mother!" Rapunzel said, her hopes rising, slightly. She ran back to the stable and found Eugene shoving out Maximus' stall as the horse looked on sadly. "Uh, Eugene?"

"Rapunzel!" Eugene cried, running forward and hugging her. "Did she do anything? Are you in trouble?"

"No, but, my mother wants to see you." Rapunzel said, stepping out of the hug.

"Oh man." Eugene groaned. "She's gonna throw me out isn't she?"

"No, I told her that you love and can be trusted with me. You just need to convince her of that." Rapunzel said.

Eugene did not look pleased. "Right, I gotta convince your overbearing control freak mom to let an orphan be with her daughter. Piece of cake."

"Come on, Eugene, you have to try" Rapunzel asked, slightly afraid that her mother's warnings might hold a grain of truth after all. "Isn't what we have together worth it?"

Eugene looked into her eyes and smiled. "Oh yeah, Blondie, totally worth it."

Rapunzel sat outside her mother's study for well over an hour, hoping that her mother would see reason. Finally, the door opened and Rapunzel felt her heart jump up into her throat. Her hopes were raised as both Eugene and Gothel appeared smiling in the doorway.

"Well, Rapunzel, I have good news and bad news." Gothel said. "The good news is I'm going to let you and Eugene here stay together."

Rapunzel squealed in delight and nearly bowled Eugene over as she hugged him in relief. After planting a kiss on his cheek, she ran to her mother and nearly toppled her over with a hug as well.

"Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" Rapunzel chanted as Gothel fought to breathe in her daughter's embrace.

"You're welcome, but you're crushing me." Gothel gasped.

"Oh, sorry, Mother!" Rapunzel said, letting her go.

Gothel took a minute to catch her breath. "But the bad news is I'm afraid Eugene will have to go away for a while."

"What?" Rapunzel cried in shock.

"If he wants to be a proper suitor for the future Countess Rapunzel, he's going to need to be able to prove his worth." Gothel told her. "I know a wealthy merchant who could use a new deck hand on his best ship and I'm sending Eugene to work for him. By the time you two are old enough to seriously consider marriage, Eugene will become a captain and amassed a fortune of his own. He'll be more than worthy to court you."

"But I won't be able to see him anymore." Rapunzel said sadly.

"Hey now, Blondie." Eugene said, putting a hand on her shoulder. "We can still write each other and I'll be back to visit plenty."

"But what if something happens to you and I never see you again?" Rapunzel asked, tears welling in her eyes.

"Rapunzel, listen," Eugene said, looking her in the eye. "I _will_ come back to you no matter what."

"Promise?" Rapunzel asked.

"Promise. Hey, this is true love. You think this happens every day?" Eugene said, flashing a brilliant smile. Gothel smiled as the young lovers embraced.

The following day, Eugene left for the harbor and his position aboard the merchant ship. For two months, Rapunzel wrote letters to Eugene, but received no reply. Rapunzel was beginning to get worried, but her mother assured her that Eugene was probably just too busy to write back.

On the third month, Rapunzel went to her mother's study and found her looking sadly at the piece of paper on her desk.

"Mother..." Rapunzel began. "What's wrong?"

"Oh Rapunzel..." Gothel sighed, unable to look the young girl in the eye. "I'm so sorry."

"W-what happened?" Rapunzel asked, afraid of the answer.

"I just received word from my friend, the merchant." Gothel said sadly. "Eugene's not coming back."

Rapunzel stared in shock at her mother, unable to process what she had just heard. "Wh-what?"

"The ship he was on was attacked by the pirate ship_, __The__ Smolder_! By now he's in the clutches of the Dread Pirate Flynn Rider!" Gothel wailed, slumping in her chair in despair. Rapunzel felt dizzy, those words had turned her world on its ear and she lost her grip on reality.

"B-b-but the Dread Pirate Flynn Rider never leaves survivors!" Rapunzel choked out as she sank to the floor in anguish.

"Speak up Darling, you know I can't abide mumbling." Gothel said offhandedly as her daughter burst into tears.

"Eugene's gone forever!" Rapunzel cried. "It's all my fault! He was killed trying to earn enough to marry me! If I hadn't fallen in love with him, he'd still be here!"

Gothel went over to her daughter and gathered her in a hug. She slowly lead her daughter to her room and sat her on the bed.

"I tried to warn you, Rapunzel, I really did." Gothel said sympathetically. "I knew that anything with that boy would end in heartache. It's best for you to stay here. The world is selfish and cruel. It took your Eugene from you and if you give it the chance, it will take even more."

Rapunzel was inconsolable. For days, she neither ate nor slept. She just sat in front of her window for hours on end, holding their "first kiss" frying pan close to her chest. Her mother came in to brush her hair and sing her magic song, but Rapunzel was too distraught to sing. Pascal tried his best to comfort her, but she was hurting too badly for even her best friend to heal.

That year on her birthday, she watched the floating lights and wished that Eugene was still watching them with her. Rapunzel vowed never to love again. She had given her heart to a man murdered by pirates and all her dreams died with him.

* * *

><p>"Murdered by pirates is good!" Zachery said, grinning happily.<p>

"What are you talking about?" Rose cried sadly. "She lost her true love and she'll never get to find out what the floating lights are."

"Oh, don't be too sad, Rose. And, don't jump to conclusions, Zachary." The King said, turning the page to the next chapter. "This story is just beginning."

* * *

><p><strong>Author's note:<strong> Sorry for the wait. Starting a story when you have finals for class, Christmas shopping to do, and have several relatives and friends coming to Christmas parties is not the best idea.

Leave a review, unless you'd prefer Rapunzel stay alone and heartbroken and have Eugene murdered by pirates and gone forever.


	3. The New Princess

**Chapter 3: The New Princess**

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong> In case I didn't make it clear enough, the Captain of the Guard from _Tangled_ is cast as the Prince. I used the name "Walter" that Airplane gave him in his story _What You Don't Know_, cause I thought it fit him well.

* * *

><p>Years passed and Rapunzel's broken heart began to mend. With the help of Pascal and Maximus, Rapunzel was able to find the strength to go on without Eugene. She was still able to see the beauty in her little world in Gothel Manor. Eventually, she even started asking her mother about the floating lights on her birthday again.<p>

However, a corner of her heart still ached for her first love. She still painted her walls, but the colors didn't seem as bright. She still rode Maximus, but a part of the thrill was missing. But no matter what, she kept on living, because that's what Eugene would have wanted.

However, one thing did not change: Rapunzel's vow never to love another man. She may not have always agreed with Gothel's mandate that she never leave the manor grounds, but at least this meant that there would be no suitors. Gothel had always been against the idea of Rapunzel marrying or having any kind of relationship with a man, even before Eugene came into the picture.

Gothel had always told her, "Men promise you the world and take you for everything you have. They'd make you leave your poor old mother and take you into the dark, cruel world. Then, when they're sure you can't give them anything else, they'll leave you for dead in a ditch."

True, there were times when Rapunzel had to give the impression that she was eligible, such as when Gothel hosted a banquet, but it nothing ever came of it. Gothel told her that it was all politics and she would never let it lead anywhere serious. She would appear in her pretty dress, smile, wave and make chit chat with the many young noblemen.

In truth, she found it pretty boring since all the noblemen seemed to talk about was themselves. If she was lucky, a man might pry his attention away from his monolithic ego long enough to ask if she'd like a shrimp puff. However, at the end of the night, they always went away and she was felt no desire to ever see them again.

Rapunzel's heart could never belong to another man, but at least she never had to fear that anyone would ever have a chance to win her heart again. Or so she thought.

It was a typical late spring day but the countess' manor was in running full speed to prepare for the feast that night. Many great statesmen, as well as Andalasia's royal family themselves were coming to Gothel's banquet.

"Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh!" Rapunzel was in a tizzy picking out a dress for the banquet. She'd interacted with nobility many times at her mother's functions, but she'd never had to play host to royalty before.

"Rapunzel!" Gothel called, walking through her bedroom door. "Are you getting dressed yet?"

"Sorry, Mother, I just can't decide what to wear!" Rapunzel said anxiously, pushing aside dress after dress in her closet. "How am I supposed to dress for royalty?"

"Oh, just pick anything, Dear." Gothel said dismissively. "I'm sure you can find something to make you at least presentable."

"All right, how about this?" Rapunzel asked, pulling out a red dress.

"Yes, that's the perfect dress! Assuming you _want_ the king and queen to think you're one of the scullery maids." Gothel said, pinching the bridge of her nose.

"All right... How about this one?" Rapunzel asked, pulling out a pastel blue dress.

"Oh heavens, _no_!" Gothel said emphatically. "That dress makes you look chubby."

"This one?"

"Too frilly."

"This one?"

"Too bulky."

"This one?"

"Not with your complexion, Darling."

"OK, how about this..." Rapunzel trailed off when she actually looked at the lime green dress with pink polka dots and purple stripes. "Never mind."

"Good idea." Gothel said, equally horrified at the dress in question. "Where on earth did you get that?"

"Lady Cruella sent it to me for my last birthday." Rapunzel said, stuffing the offending dress as far back into her closet as possible. "Apparently, it's all the rage in France."

"Of course, it's all the rage. If I dressed like that, I'd be angry too." Gothel said, shaking her head.

"How about this one?" Rapunzel asked, pulling out a light pink dress.

"Perfect! Now go on and get ready, Rapunzel! I'll send the stylist up to braid your hair." Gothel said, smiling. "And don't put on too much make up, dear. You're entertaining royalty, not sailors on shore leave. HAHA! I'm just teasing, darling! See you downstairs."

"Yes, Mother." Rapunzel said, bristling at the comment. She sighed in relief as Gothel exited her room. Over the years, Mother's "teasing" had begun to grate on her. Her mother seemed to have a sarcastic joke ready for everything she ever did.

After she got dressed, the stylist came in and braided her hair. By this time, her magical hair had grown to an amazing 70 feet long. However, as time went on, the sheer amount of hair became an issue. It would be difficult to have Rapunzel attend a function if her hair got all over the place, and even worse, it would raise questions. Gothel decided to enlist a stylist to tie the hair up in a tight braid whenever they had to entertain guests. It was a long process, but in the end, the hair was bound up enough that it only reached her ankles.

"Are you ready yet?" Rapunzel and her stylist turned and saw Gothel enter wearing an elaborate red gown.

"Yes, Mother." Rapunzel said, turning to check herself in the mirror. The dress was fine, her hair was done. All in all, she thought she looked pretty.

"Rapunzel look in that mirror." Gothel said, coming to stand next to her daughter in view of the mirror "I see a strong, confident, beautiful young lady."

"Oh... Mother..." Rapunzel began, touched at the compliment.

"Oh look, you're here too!" Gothel added, laughing. Rapunzel's face fell at the jab. "I'm just teasing! Stop taking things so seriously! Come along, dear, we have a party to get to!"

"Of course. Coming, Mother." Rapunzel said in a tone of false cheerfulness. She hated when her mother did that. Every time it looked like her mother would finally pay her an honest compliment it always ended in a joke. She always said she was joking, and maybe she was, but it she just never could figure out why her mother thought that putting her down was funny.

They went to the entrance hall and greeted the guests. For an hour, Gothel and Rapunzel stood and greeted dukes and duchesses, lords and ladies, and the endless parade of Adalasia's nobility. Finally, the beloved monarchs of Andalasia arrived.

King Edward wore a burgundy red robe and waistcoat with the royal insignia emblazoned on his chest. He smiled at the other guests in the carefree (some would say, vapid) way that he was known for. Queen Nancy wore a silver-green dress with white trim and a pink petticoat. Her smile was just as warm as her husband's, but had a level of shrewdness that his lacked. The monarchs' hair had begun to gray, but age had hardly made a dent in their looks.

Walking behind them was their son, Prince Walter. His clothes were red as well, but resembled a military officer's uniform. He was a tall, strong, lantern jawed man. He stood tall and proud, carrying the air of a soldier rather than that of royalty. His thick mustache twitched as his eyes came to rest on the crowd.

"Announcing, Their Most Esteemed Majesties, King Edward I and Queen Nancy of Andalasia and their son, Prince Walter!" Called out the herald.

As soon as they were announced, the king broke into song."Let us sing, let us dance!

"Build a setting for romance!

"And the dinner here, I bet will be the beeeeest" King Edward sang.

"And then we'll all eat hearty

"Come on, let's start the party

"We're your guests! We're your guests! Weeeee'rreee yoooooooouuuuur gueeeeeeeee-"

"Edward!" Queen Nancy cut off the king. "I, uh, think they get the message."

"Oh. OK then!" King Edward smiled brightly. The royal family strode into the hall, Prince Walter shaking his head in embarrassment.

"Does he always break into song like that?" Rapunzel whispered to her mother.

"Yep." Gothel said, rolling her eyes.

The banquet went fine and the party had since retired to the drawing room for drinks and chit-chat. Rapunzel hated this part of these gatherings; the endless political bantering and pointless small talk. After an hour of listening to the endless droning, she excused herself and went out on the balcony.

She leaned over the railing and looked up at the night sky. The light of the full moon and the stars bathed the balcony in an ethereal blue glow. On a night like this, it was easy for Rapunzel to imagine that something amazing would happen to her. She imagined that any second the Blue Fairy might come down from the sky, wave her magic wand and fix the emptiness she felt. Or she might sprout wings of her own and fly off into the night to a magical land of adventure, free of this shallow routine and her mother's smothering antics. She dreamed that she would suddenly be told that a young man she hadn't seen in years had finally arrived home and they could be together again.

She knew the dreams wouldn't last, and any second reality would come crashing back, but for those few moments, she could pretend her life was beginning.

"Beautiful night, isn't it, Milady?" Rapunzel startled as a deep voice interrupted her thoughts. She turned and saw Prince Walter coming towards her.

"Yeah, yes, yes it is... your...Your Highness." Rapunzel said, trying to keep calm. She didn't want to make a bad impression on the prince, and worse yet, get lectured by her mother for making a bad impression on the prince.

"I can see why you'd prefer being out here. It's a lot better than standing around in _there_." The prince said, tilting his head back to the balcony door. "No offence intended, Milady. You and your mother have been gracious hosts, but I hate these functions."

"...Really?" Rapunzel asked in disbelief.

"Oh, _yes_! Standing around in a room full of overstuffed shirts, making small talk and discussing lesser politics. Ugh! I can't think of a bigger waste of an evening." Prince Walter said, shaking his head.

"_I know!_ It's unbearable!" Rapunzel exclaimed. "At least at a ball you can dance or at least use dancing as an excuse to get away from Lord Thomas before he spends the next hour telling you about his fishing trips."

"Or Viscount Gekko's endless tirades about taxes, financing, mergers and investment opportunities." The prince added, smirking.

Rapunzel giggled at that. "Do you think it's ever occurred to them to ask someone _else_ about themselves?"

"What a novel concept!" The prince chuckled. "Well, Milady, I think I'll be a trend setter and ask, would _you_ like to tell me about yourself?"

"Oh! Well, sure!" Rapunzel began, elated to actually be able to get a word in. "I've lived here with my mother all my life. I like to paint. I can make pottery, play guitar, sew, knit, cook, and make candles. I'm a self taught ventriloquist, I know some steps of ballet and I like to play chess."

"My, my, there seems to be no end to your talents!" The prince said, very impressed by her list of traits and her passion for describing them all. "May I see your paintings?"

"Actually, you already have." Rapunzel answered, smiling proudly. "I painted the murals all over the mansion."

"_You_ did all those?" Walter's eyes widened. "I'm impressed! Those were as good, if not better than some of the murals we have at the castle."

"_Really_?" Rapunzel practically squealed. "Oh thank you, Your Highness!"

"Please, there's no need to put on airs right now, Milady. Just call me Walter." The prince said, smiling.

"All right, but only if you drop the 'milady' stuff and just call me Rapunzel." She replied, giggling.

"I suppose that's fair, _Rapunzel_." Walter said, chuckling.

"Oh here you are, darling!" Rapunzel and Walter looked up to see Gothel coming out onto the veranda. She sauntered over, smiling widely and carrying two glasses of champagne. "I was just wondering where you got to and here I find you talking up the prince! Looking to ditch your poor old mother for the life of a princess, hmm?"

"What? No, I wouldn't... I just... we were..." Rapunzel stammered.

"Now, darling, please don't mumble. I've told you a thousand times it's unladylike, especially in front of royalty." Gothel turned to the prince and smile sympathetically. "I hope you were at least partially able to make out what she was saying."

"Actually," Walter began, raising an eyebrow. "We were having quite a nice conversation, Your Grace."

"Oh wonderful! Well, I'm sure you could use a drink to keep the conversation interesting." Gothel smiled and handed the second glass of champagne to the prince.

"What about Rapunzel?" Walter asked, gesturing to the remaining glass.

"Oh no, Your Majesty! Rapunzel isn't even eighteen yet. Besides, I wouldn't want my girl getting anymore bad habits." Gothel said, rolling her eyes.

Rapunzel just fidgeted at her mother's behavior. This wasn't the first time she'd talked to someone else about her like she wasn't even there, but did she have to be like this at the specific moment, when it looked like she might actually make a friend?

"I see." The prince said shortly.

"Well, I have to get back in there! This party won't run itself!" Gothel turned and strolled back inside without another word.

"You'll forgive me, Rapunzel," Walter said, staring after her mother. "But for someone so worried about her daughter acting ladylike, she certainly could act more like it herself."

Rapunzel looked at the prince with wide eyes and let out a surprised chuckle. "Wow."

"I'm sorry, that was ungentlemanly." Prince Walter backtracked.

"No, no, no! It's just," Rapunzel laughed a little. "It's just surprising to hear somebody else feel that way about her."

"Well, that _was_ a rather rude." Walter said, looking at the balcony doors.

"Yeah, she likes to poke fun at me sometimes." Rapunzel said. "She always says she's just teasing, but... sometimes, she makes me feel so... so..."

"Insulted? Humiliated? Hurt?" Walter supplied.

"Kind of." Rapunzel sighed. She smiled and turned to Walter "You know, it's kind of nice to talk to someone about this."

"Glad to be of service, Rapunzel." Prince Walter said smiling. He raised his glass to her and took a sip. After he swallowed the champagne, he felt a strange heat in his chest. The champagne had a bit more kick than he expected. He blinked a couple times as he looked back at Rapunzel.

"I have to say, so far, this made this the best banquet ever." Rapunzel said, smiling at the prince.

"Thank you..." Prince Walter said, his eyes widening slightly as she looked into his eyes.

"So, do you think we should go back inside?" Rapunzel sighed, looking at the doors. She didn't really want to go back to the endless tedium that surly await them inside.

"Whatever you wish." Prince Walter said quietly. He didn't know what happened, but Rapunzel suddenly seemed so different somehow.

"Want to wait out here a little longer?" Rapunzel smiled impishly.

"I wouldn't mind that at all, Milday." Prince Walter, said, smiling brightly at her. The two of them stayed there and talked for twenty minutes before they finally went back inside.

At the end of the night, Rapunzel went back to her room smiling happily. Pascal crawled out from his hiding place behind her desk lamp and chirped happily as she entered. "Hi, Pascal! I missed you at the party."

Pascal trilled contentedly as he crawled into her outstretched hand.

"Guess what? I made a new friend tonight!" Rapunzel practically squealed. "It was great! We talked, and for once, not only was I was actually able to get a word in, but he was _interested_ in what I had to say!"

Pascal's jaw dropped. _One of Gothel's friends was_... courteous? The lizard chirped, wanting to hear more.

"His name's Walter and he's the prince of Andalasia." Rapunzel went on. "He's really nice and I think we're going to be really close."

_How close?_ Pascal and chirped curiously. He turned a bright, blushing red and made his tail into the shape of a heart.

"Oh no, not like that." Rapunzel said, shaking her head. "He's nice and I think we'll be great friends, but... I don't think that'll ever happen."

Pascal shrugged and changed back to his standard green.

"Still, it was really nice." Rapunzel smiled. "I think things are going to get better."

* * *

><p>"Grandpa?" Zachary interrupted, after blowing his nose.<p>

"Yes, kiddo?" The King asked.

"Is this story _ever_ gonna get good?" the young prince asked, exasperated. "Last chapter, it was nothing but sappy love junk, this chapter is nothing but talking!"

"Just let Grandpa tell it, Zach!" Rose said, glaring at her brother.

"Thank you, Rosie." The King said, turning back to the book. "Let's see... Oh right, here it is."

* * *

><p>A week later, Gothel received a summons from Prince Walter that she and Rapunzel were called to a special audience at the Royal Castle. They left in Gothel's carriage that very afternoon for the castle. Rapunzel thought it was a bit odd that she was asked to come too. Her mother had been summoned to the Castle before on state business before, but they had never specifically asked for her presence too.<p>

However, Rapunzel was very excited for this visit. For one thing, this was the first time in years that she had ever left Gothel Manor. She stared out the windows at the countryside as the carriage trundle along the dirt road. The thick forests, the endless meadows, the vegetable rich farm lands, it was beautiful.

Besides the change of scenery, this visit meant she might get to spend some time with Prince Walter. They hadn't spoken since the banquet and she was anxious to talk some more with her new friend.

Gothel sat across from Rapunzel in an aloof calm, taking little notice of her daughter's excitement. She only looked alarmed when she checked herself in her compact mirror and found streaks of gray in her hair and a set of crow's feet near her eyes. Even worse, she noticed a liver spot on her left hand. She immediately closed the curtains over the carriage windows and took out an ornate brass hairbrush.

"Dear, Mother's feeling a bit run down. Would you sing for me?" Gothel asked cheerfully.

"Oh, sure Mother." Rapunzel said, only half paying attention. She took a large section of her hair and set it in Gothel's lap. She then began to sing the incantation that activated the magic in her hair.

"Flower, gleam and glow

Let your power shine

Make the clock reverse

Bring back what once was mine

Heal what has been hurt

Change the Fate's design

Save what has been lost

Bring back what once was mine

What once was mine."

However, given her energized state, it came out more as, "Flower,gleamandglow,letyourpowershine..."

"Wait, wait!" Gothel called, but her daughter just kept crooning the incantation at breakneck speed. A golden glow flowed through her hair, starting atop her head and traveling down the long tresses to the section Gothel held.

"...fatesdesignsavewhat..." Rapunzel sang as she rocked back and forth in her seat.

Gothel desperately brushed the hair to absorb the magic before Rapunzel finished the song. She felt a surge of power blow through her as the magic flashed through the hair just as Rapunzel finished. Gothel checked and found her wrinkles gone and her hair its usual dark color. However, such a session was much more rushed than Gothel preferred.

"Rapunzel!" Gothel scolded.

"What could the prince want?" Rapunzel asked herself aloud, barely even aware of the healing she had just done.

"He probably just wants to thank you for talking him to that banquet last month." Gothel said, waving dismissively.

"He could've done that with a note or something." Rapunzel reasoned, running a hand through her hair.

"Oh, I'm sure it's nothing serious." Gothel said, patting Rapunzel's hand.

Suddenly the door opened, revealing a tall man with red hair and a scarred face. "We've arrived, Your Grace."

"Oh good!" Gothel said happily.

Gothel and Rapunzel exited the carriage and began their walk to the castle, flanked by the Stabbington Brothers, Gothel's two hulking red-haired footmen. They walked through the castle's main gates and into the ornate courtyard. Rapunzel was amazed by the flower garden, the tall, ivy-covered walls, the expertly sculpted topiary, the reflecting pond, and the wishing well. She had no idea how beautiful everything would look. She was so drawn in that she almost started to wander off before Gothel took her hand and dragged her towards the castle.

The royal guards escorted them to the throne room. All the way there, Rapunzel still let her eyes wonder over the immense palace. It took hearing the doors to the throne room click open to bring her back to reality. She looked up and smiled when she saw Walter and his parents standing near one a large window.

Rapunzel, Gothel, and the Stabbingtons bowed to the rulers of the land. Gothel gushed forth, "Your Majesties, what an honor to be in your presence once again."

"Hey there, Gothel." Queen Nancy waved casually.

"We received your summons, Your Highness." Gothel said, bowing to Prince Walter. "We are at your service."

"Thank you, Your Grace." Prince Walter said, politely. "Actually, I have a request of your daughter, if she feels up to it."

Rapunzel smiled and stepped forward. "Whatever you need, Your Highness."

"Excellent, well..." Prince Walter began, his eyes drifting to Rapunzel. "I actually I need _your_ help, Milady."

"Oh I'll be happy to help!" Rapunzel said excitedly. Her mother gave her a look and she quickly added, "... Your Highness."

"Excellent." Walter said, smiling. "I need your help in the bedroom."

"What?" Rapunzel squeaked in horror.

"NO! No, wait! I didn't mean..." Walter babbled in embarrassment.

"Well, that was quick." King Edward said to Queen Nancy, who was chuckling at her son's slip up.

"No, I-I-I I mean that I could use a hand in the bedroom." Prince Walter was cut off by the Stabbingtons bursting out laughing. "What are you ... NO! I didn't mean that! I need Rapunzel to do me a...NO! Paint. I need you to paint!"

"You want me to paint your bedroom?" Rapunzel asked, intrigued.

"Well, yes. I've gotten a bit sick of the dull beige walls in that my bed chamber." Prince Walter ventured. " I was thinking that a mural would do wonders to liven the place up, and I was hoping you could do me the honor of working your magic on my room."

Rapunzel bounced on her heels in excitement. No one had ever requested that she paint before. "Oh, that sounds fun! Show me the room and I'll see if inspiration strikes!"

"Of course, right this way, Milady." Prince Walter said, extending his hand. Rapunzel smiled and took it.

Queen Nancy smiled deviously and whispered to her husband, "He's got her hooked."

In his excitement, King Edward leapt off his throne and began to sing. "He's been dreaming of...!"

"FATHER!" Walter shouted, cutting off his father's song. "_Please_ don't."

"But I thought since tonight..."

"_Yes_, Father, but that really won't be necessary." Prince Walter said anxiously. Hopefully, his father's antics hadn't totally given away his plans.

"But I was just going to..."

"No, honey, it's... not right now." Queen Nancy said, patting his hand.

"But music is the language of..."

"_Eddie_..." Queen Nancy gritted through her teeth.

The king sunk into his throne and pouted. "Fine."

"Well, we'll be back soon." Rapunzel waved to her mother and left the throne room with the prince.

Once they were gone, Gothel looked to the king and queen in confusion. "Uh... forgive me, Your Majesties, but... _that's_ all he wanted? He just needed my daughter to paint a room? Couldn't he just hire painters?"

"Oh no, that was just an excuse to get her here." Queen Nancy smiled.

Gothel raised an eyebrow. "For what?"

"Well..." Queen Nancy said, standing from her throne. "Let's go wait and see."

Prince Walter held the door for Rapunzel as she entered the prince's chamber. The room was much larger than hers. It was a perfect cube of twenty feet wide, long and high. Rapunzel was taken aback by how bare the room seemed. There was the usual furniture; a bed, chairs, a desk, but nothing else. No paintings on the walls, no plants, no mirrors, no personal items of any kind. If she hadn't been told that this was the prince's room, she would have thought the owner had just moved in and hadn't even unpacked yet.

"Wow, you weren't kidding." Rapunzel said, by the emptiness of the room. "Why is it so... plain?"

"Well, I my requisite military training left me with a taste for a more Spartan style of living." Walter explained. "However, recent events have made me reconsider that."

"Thank goodness for that. I don't think I could stand living in a room like this." Rapunzel said, gazing at the blank walls. Had she turned, she would have seen a slight smirk on Walter's face.

"Well, hopefully, you can make this place a bit more appealing." Walter turned to the door and called out, "Bring in the supplies!"

Several servants burst into the room carrying dozens jars of paint and brushes of every size. Rapunzel smiled at the eagerly at the painting supplies. She'd never seen so many colors or so many different brushes, she felt like a kid in a candy store.

She grabbed a broad brush and popped the lid off a jar of blue paint. "Let's get to work!"

For the next five hours, Rapunzel was in Heaven. She threw herself into the prince's request for a mural and went beyond any of his expectations. She started on the south wall and quickly spilled to the west wall. Then she kept going until every wall was covered by her newest masterpiece. Just when Walter thought she was winding down, she called for ladders so she could do the ceiling.

Finally, just as the moon started to rise, Rapunzel wiped a paint covered hand across her forehead and smiled at her finished handiwork. The mural turned out wonderfully. She painted recreation of a series of illustrations from one of her Andalasian history books. The room now resembled a bright sunny day in the Valley of Contentment. There were birds flying across the sky or nesting in the trees. Several young maidens danced across the field of flowers. Up on the ceiling, a bright happy sun shown down on the display.

"I must say, Milday, you surpassed my expectations."The prince stared in awe of the mural.

"Oh, it's nothing really." Rapunzel said, blushing.

"No, really. This is... this is amazing, Milady!" Walter said sincerely.

"I thought I told you to call me 'Rapunzel,' Your Highness." Rapunzel said teasingly.

"Of course... Rapunzel" Walter said, smiling warmly at her. "And you are, of course, welcome to call me simply Walter."

"All right... Simply Walter." Rapunzel said impishly. They both giggled at that.

Meanwhile, at the door to the room, Gothel, Nancy and Edward peeked inside to watch the big moment.

The prince swallowed nervously and steeled himself for his next move. "Uh, Mil-I mean, uh, Rapunzel?"

"Yes, Walter?" Rapunzel asked casually.

"You are... amazing." Walter said adoringly.

"Oh thank you." Rapunzel blushed.

"In fact, you're more than amazing, you're perfect." Walter went on. "Ever since we met at your mother's banquet, I can't stop thinking about you. I... I'm in love you."

Rapunzel stared wide eyed at the prince. She stayed silent for several seconds, trying to process what he'd just said. "Uh...what now?"

"Lady Rapunzel, when I look at you, I know I've found my true love." Walter said, kneeling on one knee. "Would you do me the honor of marrying me and being the Princess of Andalasia?"

Edward, Nancy, and Gothel watched from the door in building excitement at the proposal. Rapunzel just stood there in stunned silence as prince smiled sweetly up at her, assuming her shock would give way to joy any moment.

"I... I... I..." Rapunzel tried to speak, but fainted dead away after her third attempt. Prince Walter and the royal family ran to the fallen girl.

"Oh, the poor dear, she's so excited by your proposal, she swooned!" Gothel said, lifting Rapunzel up by her arms. "Don't worry, I'll take her home and make sure she gets some rest. Boys!"

The Stabbington Brothers ran in and hoisted Rapunzel up on their shoulders. They gave the royal family a bow and carried the countess' daughter to the front door.

"I hope she's all right." Prince Walter said, extremely confused. "I didn't quite expect _that_ reaction."

"Oh, she's just overcome with joy. When she wakes up, I'm sure she'll go wild at the news!" Gothel said with a huge awkward grin plastered on her face.

Gothel was right. When they got home, Rapunzel _did_ go wild, just not in the way she meant.

"HOW CAN THIS BE HAPPENING?" Rapunzel cried in outrage. She paced around her mother's study, overflowing with anger and incredulity.

"Rapunzel, Flower, calm, down. You're overreacting." Gothel said, placing a hand on her shoulder.

"_Overreacting?_" Rapunzel cried, slightly hysterical in disbelief. "The prince wants me to marry him!"

"I know, it's a bit of a shock having such handsome and distinguished gentleman wanting to marry little old you when there are so many women more suitable to marry into royalty." Gothel conceded. "But, thank Heaven for small miracles!"

"What... but..." Rapunzel sputtered in disbelief. "I don't _want_ to marry him!"

"Why not, Dear?" Gothel asked.

"Why not? Why..._I hardly know him_! I've only spoken to him once before this proposal! Twice if you count just before I painted his room!" Rapunzel said, still bewildered by this turn of events.

"So? Lots of women get married to men they've known for a matter of days." Gothel explained calmly.

Rapunzel just stared at her mother in disbelief. "But, but... but _you're_ the one who's always saying that all men use marriage to get what they want from and then toss you aside!"

"Well, not _all_ men." Gothel shrugged. "Prince Walter is rich, he can provide for you. He's strong, he can take care of you. He's powerful, he can keep you safe."

"So, I should marry him just because he looks good, he's rich, and he'll take care of me?" Rapunzel asked.

"I fail to see the downside of this plan." Gothel said plainly.

"Mother, this... this is just... !" Rapunzel sputtered, running her hands through her hair.

"Rapunzel..." Gothel sighed sympathetically. "I know you're nervous, but I think this will be for the best. Let's face it, darling, you can't look after yourself. I've always been afraid of what would happen when your time came to take up my mantle of countess."

"What?" Rapunzel asked, more than a little hurt by that statement.

"Well, look around, flower." Gothel said, gesturing to the paintings on the wall.

"Huh?" Rapunzel turned and looked at the wall full of portraits of Gothel's ancestors.

A dozen paintings of gray eyed, dark haired, elaborately dressed women hung all around her, seemingly starring down at her in disapproval. She finally settled on a portrait of herself and her mother. She was ten when that picture was painted, and that's how she was on the Gothel family wall, a child among strong women. She hardly even looked like she belonged in her own family. Just seeing all their striking gray eyes, fair skin, gorgeous dark hair and impressive figures only made her own wide green eyes, crazy blond hair, unsightly freckles and scrawny body seem all the more plain.

"We Gothels have been an Andalasia staple for generations. For centuries, we've been paragons of strength and dignity. Then I gave birth to you." Gothel explained as Rapunzel looked at the portraits. "Don't get me wrong, dear, I love you very much, but you as the next countess? You're clumsy, naive, immature, gullible, ditzy, you talk to animals, you paint on the walls, and you're under that delusion that the stars are really magic floating lights that appear on your birthday. You can hardly take care of yourself, how could you possibly run the affairs of my countship alone?"

Rapunzel stared at the floor, unable to answer her mother's statement. "Well, then why do you want me to marry the prince? If I can't run your countship, what makes you think I can be the _Queen_ of Andalasia?"

"Don't you see, Rapunzel? When Prince Walter becomes king, _he'll_ make all the decisions." Gothel explained. "All you have to do is look pretty in a crown, which granted will be no small feat for you, and provide an heir to the throne."

"An... _heir_?" Rapunzel gasped. The full implications of this idea had fallen into place. Not only would she have to marry a man she didn't love, eventually she would have children with him. It was too much. "No! Mother, I can't! I can't! I can't have children with him! It's too much..."

"Enough, Rapunzel!" Gothel snapped, grabbing her daughter's arms and shaking her. "There's no way out of this even if I wanted one! The law gives the prince the right to marry anyone he chooses, and nothing can overrule his choice! I'm going to send a message to the prince accepting his proposal and you _will_ marry the prince and you are _not_ leaving this house until the wedding! AND THAT IS FINAL! NOW GO TO YOUR ROOM!"

Rapunzel ran from the study as her mother's echo still resounded off the walls. She ran to her room as fast as her legs could carry her, tears rolling down her cheeks. She slammed her bedroom door shut, locking it behind her. The last thing she wanted was her mother coming in later and to try and smooth things over with some backhanded apology.

The slam awoke Pascal from his nap on the dresser. He watched in shock as Rapunzel slid down the door and cried. The chameleon scampered over to her and chirped in concern.

_What's wrong?_

"Pascal, Prince Walter wants me to marry him!" Rapunzel said burying her face in her hands.

_What? But your mother... _Pascal chirped.

"No, _she_ wants me to marry him too!" Rapunzel cried hopelessly. Pascal gaped in disbelief. "I don't know what I'm going to do!"

She hugged Pascal to her chest and stared off into space as her tears fell. She felt suffocated and helpless. She may not have ever been allowed outside the mansion, but she had never felt trapped until that moment.

Her eyes suddenly came upon an old painting above the window. It depicted a night sky with the mysterious floating lights rising into the sky. Beneath them, two figures sat in a tree watching the display; a young man with short brown hair and a young girl with long blonde hair.

It was the only thing she had left to remind her of Eugene and the dreams she had for the two of them. Now it was just a painful reminder of something she'd never had. She glared at the painting and its false promise of happily ever after. Without a word, ehe set Pascal down and picked up a jar of black paint. With all her strength, she threw the jar at the painting, smashing it into pieces and sending paint across the idyllic scene.

She huffed angrily as the black paint dripped across the painting of her and Eugene, snuffing out the floating lights. She picked up another jar and threw that one as well, creating another splash of darkness over the painting. The wave of paint overtook the painted lovers, leaving the painting just a blob of black goo in the sea of colors that were her bedroom walls.

She gasped in shock and horror at what she had done. She didn't know what possessed her to do that, but it was too late. The painting, the last vestige of her first love and her old dream, was gone. Now the space on the wall was a dark, empty mess, bereft of joy and life; just like she felt inside.

The next day, the prince invited Rapunzel and her mother to move into the castle. They were packed and ready by that afternoon. Gothel and Rapunzel were given rooms, Gothel's horses, including Maximus were given stalls in the royal stables, even the Stabbingtons were given their own rooms in the servants' quarters.

The rest of afternoon moving their things into their new rooms. By the time they unpacked the last box, it was time turn in for the night.

Rapunzel looked around her new room like it was a cage. It was exactly like Walter's room was before she had painted it.

"I know, you probably don't like the decor." Prince Walter said, coming into her room. "But, it's only temporary, of course After the wedding, we'll share the suite you painted yesterday. I imagine you could work wonders with this room if you want to though."

"Yeah." Rapunzel said, not really paying attention.

"Well, it's late and I imagine you'd like to get some rest after such a long day." Walter said cheerfully. "Good night, Rapunzel. I love you."

Before she could react, he kissed her on the cheek. It felt weird being kissed by someone with a mustache, but it felt even weirder to be kissed by someone other than Mother or Eugene. The worst part was she knew she would have to get used to it, because he would be the one she kiss or be kissed by from now on.

She didn't hear Walter leave, and she certainly didn't hear her mother and stylist enter.

"Hello, dear, it's time to go to bed." Mother Gothel said, leading her to her vanity.

"Yes, Mother." Rapunzel sighed as the stylist began to undo her braid.

"Dear, I'm sorry we fought last night." Gothel sighed. "I should have known you couldn't deal with something like this at your age."

"Yes, Mother." Rapunzel said, as the stylist undid the last loop of her hair and left.

"Dear, I know this is a huge change, but it's for the best. You'll see." Gothel said, putting her hands on Rapunzel's shoulders. " I know you're still carrying a torch for that stable boy. I know you loved him very much, but you need to face it, darling, he died a long time ago. He's gone and he's not coming back. You can't spend your whole life wishing for something you lost. You have to move on. I think he would want you to move on."

Rapunzel stared ahead, not really seeing anything as her mother's words sank in. "You're right. He _would_ want me to move on."

Gothel smiled and petted Rapunzel's hair. " I love you very much."

"I love you more." Rapunzel answered automatically.

"I love you most." Gothel said, kissing the top of her head. "Goodnight, Dear."

"Good night, Mother." Rapunzel said quietly as she turned out the light. As her bedroom door clicked shut, her eyes turned to the window. Her old dreams were dead, and her future was to be in an arranged marriage. There was nothing for her here anymore. It was time to move on. She would move on and she'd keep moving on until she was out of Andalasia, and she would never look back.

* * *

><p>Author's Note: SORRY! Sorry for taking so long. Real life sucks and I couldn't get time to work on it before now.<p>

Finally, with this part done, we can move onto the adventure!


	4. When Will My Life Begin?

**Chapter 4: When Will My Life Begin?**

* * *

><p>The following day, a crowd gathered outside the castle gates to hear the announcement of the prince's bride-to-be. The king and queen appeared on the balcony and were met with joyous cheers. Then, Prince Walter himself came into view and received a similar ovation.<p>

"My people!" Prince Walter shouted over the din. The crowd silenced at their prince's word. "My people! Next month is Andalasia's 500th Anniversary!"

The crowd roared in approval.

"Yes! However, on that day, we will not only be celebration our dear nation turning 500 years old! At sundown on that day, I shall marry my true love!"

The crowd went crazy.

"Oh yes, my people! She is a very special lady. Beautiful, talented, and brimming with life! Would you like to meet her?"

The response was so loud that it awoke a troll several miles away.

"My people, accompanied by her lovely mother, Countess Gothel, my bride-to-be: Princess Rapunzel!"

The balcony doors flew open to reveal Rapunzel and Mother Gothel, dressed in royal finery. Gothel's old red robe had been traded for a hand sown silk dress, studded with rubies and diamonds.

Rapunzel found it hard to move in her own gown. It was the most awkward, poofy dress she had ever seen. The frills on the sleeves were larger than her head and limited her ability to move her arms. The skirt was so wide that no one could come within arms' distance of her, and the petticoats were so layered that she could barely walk! The suits of armor on display in the halls looked easier to move around in than this dress! Not to mention that the bright pink and white color scheme of the dress itself, combined with its various frills and bows made her look like a walking birthday cake.

Rapunzel and Mother Gothel were met with deafening cheers as they walked out onto the balcony. Her mother ate up the attention, waving and blowing kisses to the masses. Rapunzel, on the other hand, hated every second of it. All those people expected her to be the perfect princess bride for their prince, and she knew she was going to end up disappointing them. She just put on her biggest, forced smile and waved.

"Thank you, my people! We hope to see all of you at the celebration next month. For now, we must help our new additions to the family to their new home" Prince Walter said, waving farewell at the crowd. The crowd waved back as the royal family and the Gothels went back inside the castle.

"Well, that went well." King Edward said cheerily.

"Yes, it did." Gothel smiled at Rapunzel. "Congratulations, flower! Your first time addressing the masses wasn't a disaster!"

"Yeah, it was great!" Rapunzel said, trying to walk across the hallway. "Um, now that that's over... can I please get out of this dress?"

"Shouldn't that wait until the honeymoon?" King Edward whispered to the queen.

"Rapunzel!" Gothel said sharply. "Their Majesties take you into their home and this is how you repay their hospitality?"

"No, Countess, it's quite all right." Walter said, waving away her outburst. "I'm terribly sorry the dress doesn't please you..."

"No, it's-it's a really nice dress and it's really pretty, it's just that-WHOA!" Rapunzel tripped over her skirt and fell face down to the floor. "I can't move in this thing. Can somebody help?"

"Of course, Milady." Walter and his father helped Rapunzel to her feet, which was no small feat with the cumbersome dress.

"I'm sorry." Rapunzel apologized as she got her bearings.

"I had a feeling having her wear that dress was going to be a problem." Queen Nancy said to her husband.

"Sorry." Rapunzel bowed her head in embarrassment.

"Oh, it's nothing wrong with you, girlfriend. That style dress has always been awkward. I know, I wore one just like it for a week after I married Edward and I couldn't walk three feet without bumping into things. Heck, I was lucky if I could walk three feet, period." The queen said, putting a comforting hand on her shoulder. "It feels like wearing a tent, doesn't it?"

"Several tents actually." Rapunzel laughed.

"Thought so." Queen Nancy laughed with her. "Come on, let's get you into something more manageable."

"Then, perhaps, I could take you on a grand tour of the castle?" Walter suggested.

"That would be nice." Rapunzel smiled politely at Walter. "Is that all right, Mother?"

"Oh of course dear, go right ahead!" Gothel grinned widely. "Hope you don't mind if I sit this one out, though. I have some unpacking to do."

"Not at all, Countess." Walter said courteously. He turned and lead Rapunzel back to her room.

After Rapunzel changed into a simpler blue dress, Walter took her on the promised tour of the castle. It was uneventful... except for the fact that Rapunzel bounced off the walls (literally in one case) every step of the way. For the first time since she arrived, it finally hit Rapunzel that for the first time ever, she was somewhere other than her mother's house!

Every room, every hall way, every painting, statue, and piece of furniture enraptured her to no end. Even the most mundane knickknack on a table amazed her by sheer virtue of never having seen it before. By the time they made their way to the royal gardens, the sun was setting and Prince Walter was doing his best not to appear exhausted from trying to keep up with Rapunzel.

"I saved a very interesting place for last." Walter said, only to realize Rapunzel was several yards behind him examining a patch of jasmine.

"What kind of flowers are these?" Rapunzel asked, staring at the flowers like they were precious jewels.

"Jasmine. They were named for an Arabian princess." Prince Walter said, coming up to her.

"I've never seen so many different flowers!" Rapunzel practically squealed as she looked over the garden.

"Yes, my grandmother insisted that the royal gardens include at least one of every flower in the world." Walter said, enjoying her enthusiasm. "The only one that wasn't included was this legendary magic flower, but I doubt that even existed."

"Couldn't find that one?" Rapunzel was intrigued by the story.

"No, actually, she never bothered to look. The legend says that this flower was born out of a drop of sunlight and had some amazing power that could make the world a better place. She said that power like that was too important to belong to any one person. She felt that it would be selfish to take such a gift meant to help the whole world and hide it away for her own benefit." Walter explained.

"She must have been a nice lady." Rapunzel said, running her fingers along

"I wouldn't know, I'm afraid." Walter sighed . "She died when my father was still a boy."

"I'm sorry." Rapunzel put a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"It's all right. I know she's watching over me now." Walter smiled. "Now then, there's one last special destination on this tour."

"Ooh, what is it?" Rapunzel practically bounced on her heels.

"It's right behind those trees, if you'll just follow MEEE!" Walter was cut off as Rapunzel grabbed his arm and dragged him off in the direction he pointed.

After a short, mad dash, Rapunzel and Walter stood before the final destination. The well was a huge opening in the ground, surrounded by A constant stream of water flowed into the well from an outflow tunnel located hundred feet above them. Rapunzel walked up to the well and looked in, expecting a large pool of water. Instead, she gazed into a seemingly bottomless pit.

"What is this?" Rapunzel asked, spellbound by the strange place.

"This is a magic wishing well." Walter said, waving a hand to encompass the structure.

"It really grants wishes?" Rapunzel gasped.

"Actually, no. The magic is a little different." Walter chuckled.

"What's the magic?" Rapunzel asked, looking into the deep darkness of the well.

"It's a doorway to another world." Walter said casually.

"What?" Rapunzel gasped.

"Oh yes! If you and I jumped down this hole, we would end up in another dimension." Walter kicked a small stone into the well.

"You're making this up!" Rapunzel laughed at the outrageous tale.

"Oh no, it's true. In fact, my mother was originally from that other world." Walter smirked. "My father was there looking for his first love, but then his love met someone else, he met my mother, and they defeated my evil step grandmother."

"...No way!" Rapunzel laughed.

"You can ask my parents themselves if you like." Walter shrugged.

"Is that really such a good idea?" Rapunzel asked hesitantly.

"Why wouldn't it be?" Walter asked.

"Well, you know how parents don't like to asked a lot of questions, especially about their pasts." Rapunzel shrugged.

"...Can't say I do." Walter said, confused.

"Oh... just my mother then." Rapunzel said with a slight hint of bitterness.

"I'm not one to speak ill of someone, but she seems..." Walter tried to select his words carefully. He didn't want to upset his bride or start a fight with his eventual mother in law. "She could act like a better mother."

"Oh, she's... I know she can seem kind of distant and critical and controlling and.." Rapunzel trailed off, realizing her train of thought. "But I know she loves me and wants what's best for me."

"Of course, she does." Walter nodded. "I just think she could let up a little. You're going to be a princess soon, and she needs to recognize that you need to stand on your own."

Rapunzel scoffed. "Yeah, that'll happen."

"Well, I'm sure she'll see reason eventually." Walter said, comfortingly. "Anyway, let's forget your mother for now and focus on the road ahead of us. You'll need to be introduced to the court, attend princess etiquette classes, you'll meet lots of new people and make lots of new friends."

"That will be fun. I've never made many friends. Unless you count a chameleon and my horse." Rapunzel gasped and clapped her hand over her mouth. "OOPS! Mother told me not to talk about that."

"What? That you've made friends with animals?" The prince asked, confused.

"Mother says it's weird." Rapunzel nervously tugged at a strand of hair.

"No, it isn't." Walter said. "I talk to animals. Heck, everyone in my family does. There's a chipmunk named Pip who's been a friend of the family since before I was born."

"Really?" Rapunzel was shocked.

"Yes, really." Walter went on. "So, can I meet these friends of yours?"

"Well, um... sure! I-I-I guess you can come out then." Rapunzel said, looking up to her hair. Before Walter's eyes, a patch of blond turned bright green and scampered into Rapunzel's hand. "This is Pascal, he's a chameleon and my first and best friend."

"Hello, Pascal, pleasure to make your acquaintance." Walter smiled politely at the lizard. Pascal squeaked happily in response.

"I think you're the first person I've ever introduced him to since..." Rapunzel trailed off, as a painful memory resurfaced.

"Rapunzel? Something the matter?" Walter asked.

Rapunzel thought for a second. Walter was so good to her, he deserved the truth. "Walter... I like you, I really do. Until we met, I've only had one human friend besides my mother. And you're really nice and everything, but... I don't love you."

Walter just stared at her, his face betraying nothing. "I see."

"I... It's not that you've done something wrong or anything like that. I just don't think of you that way. I haven't felt that way about anyone since... since..." Rapunzel tried to continue.

"I take it the _other_ human friend you mentioned was a little more than just a friend." Walter ventured.

"Yes. Yes, he was. I loved him so much, and then he had to go off to sea and his ship was attacked by the Dread Pirate Flynn Rider." Rapunzel continued, her voice shaking.

"Flynn Rider... that thieving, murdering blackguard!" Walter growled at the name.

"I've heard the stories, I know he never takes prisoners." Rapunzel said miserably.

"I see. Obviously, losing him hurt you." Walter said, laying a hand on her shoulder.

"It did. It hurt so much." Rapunzel said, brushing away a tear and trying to hold herself together. "But that's not the point. Even if that wasn't the case, it wouldn't change how I feel about you. You're my friend, and I like you a lot, and I know how you feel about me but... I just don't feel the same way."

"I see." Walter said softly. Walter seemed like a reasonable man, and for a moment, Rapunzel hoped she had convinced him to call off the wedding. "Rapunzel, I can see this is hard for you. But, I _do_ love you. I know you only think of me as a friend, but many people start as friends and end up falling in love. I think you'll grow to love me given enough time. Please just give me a chance. I think I can make you happy."

Rapunzel sighed in defeat. Trying to talk him out of it was her only chance. "All right, I'll try."

"Thank you." Walter said, putting a grateful hand on her shoulder.

"I uh, think I'll go to bed. It's been a long day." Rapunzel said, yawning.

"Of course. Good night, Rapunzel." Walter smiled warmly at her.

Rapunzel turned and trudged slowly to her room. She was lost in thought as she walked the winding labyrinth of the castle halls, until a noise caught her attention. For a second, she wasn't even sure she had heard it or just imagined it. Then it came again; four knocks echoing along the empty stone halls.

In her curiosity, Rapunzel turned down the hall where the knocking seemed to be coming from. The noise got louder as she reached the end of the hall. She turned the corner and saw... her mother pressing her head against the wall while she knocked on it. Further down the hall, her footmen, the Stabbington Brothers were doing the same thing, occasionally looking behind paintings and bits of furniture. This was unexpected, to say the least.

"Mother?" Rapunzel ventured.

"Oh, um, hello Rapunzel!" Gothel said, backing away from the wall.

"Why were you and the footmen knocking on the wall?" Rapunzel asked, confused.

"Oh, there's a draft in this place and I was just checking to see if I could find the source." Gothel said as she wrapped her cloak around her shoulders. "Anything boys?"

"Nothing, Your Grace." Tyrone Stabbington said, placing the painting back on the wall. He wiped the sweat from his scared face."This hall seems solid."

"Oh... OK, then." Rapunzel shrugged.

"How was your little romp around the castle?" Gothel asked.

"It was nice." Rapunzel said, forcing a grin on her face.

"Did you and the prince get to know each other any Better?" Gothel asked, eagerly.

"A little bit, yes." Rapunzel conceded.

"Wonderful!" Gothel practically cheered. "You see? I knew he would grow on you!"

"Yeah, he's... he's really great!" Rapunzel tried to sound enthusiastic. "Well... I'm gonna head off to bed."

"Of course dear. See you in the morning." Gothel said, walking up to her daughter. "I love you very much, dear."

"I love you more." Rapunzel answered back, hugging her mother.

"I love you most." Gothel said, kissing the top of Rapunzel's head. "See you in the morning."

"Goodnight." Rapunzel said, turning and walking back the way she came.

Once she was out of earshot, Gothel turned back to the wall. She gazed at the painting that hung before her. An image of a pale woman in black and purple dress and cloak. A silver crown rested above her cruel countenance. This was the previous queen of Andalasia, King Edward's step mother, Narissa. Once, the halls were littered with paintings of her to satisfy her vanity. Now, only this one picture remained, solely for historical value.

"You kept so many secrets, didn't you?" Gothel smirked at the painting.

"Seriously, Your Grace, we didn't find it. Should me and Chris keep looking?" Tyrone Stabbington asked. The other Stabbington adjusted his eye patch as they awaited the answer.

"No, we can call it a night." Gothel said, smiling at the painting of Narissa. "We'll find it soon enough, boys. All good things to those who wait."

Rapunzel, meanwhile, had arrived in her room. Pascal scampered down her arm to his usual spot on her dresser, turning a morose shade of blue to match his friend's mood. She had no other choice now, she had to run away, but she couldn't leave right away. Everyone probably knew that she was flustered about this whole situation and were probably keeping an eye on her. So, she would to go on with day to day life until things settled into the new routine and the she would make her move. She had a month until the wedding. There had to be some opportunity to slip away; she just had to wait for the right time.

* * *

><p>The following day, Rapunzel began attending princess lessons to teach her how to behave as royalty once she married Prince Walter. Over the next week and a half, she breezed through her tests and began to really get to know the prince and his parents. She was so enraptured by this new and pleasant experience, that her plans for leaving became almost an afterthought.<p>

Meanwhile, her mother went on with her fruitless search for the mysterious draft.

* * *

><p>Finally, the last day of lessons came. She was called for a private session with the king himself to learn the most important part of being Andalasian royalty. The two of them stood together on the stage in the great hall, Pascal crouched over by a piano, nervous for his oldest friend.<p>

"Are you sure you're ready?" King Edward asked, circling Rapunzel.

"As ready as I'll ever be." Rapunzel said, holding herself at attention like one of the guards.

"This is crucial, Rapunzel." Edward said seriously. "You must never show fear, never second guess yourself, hold your head high, and, most importantly, you must put all of yourself into the exercise!"

"I understand." Rapunzel said, determined to succeed in this lesson.

"I hope so, because this is the true test of royalty. Anyone can sign laws, make speeches and wear a crown, but _this_... this is what separates the hero with the stout heart of a leader and the fool with no spirit to back his title" Edward said, stepping back to give Rapunzel her room. "Let's see what you can do."

"I'm ready." Rapunzel said, taking a deep breath.

"All right. Take the first thing that comes to mind and let it flow! Maestro!" Edward called out. The conductor tapped his wand and the assembled orchestra began playing music. "Go!"

Rapunzel took a deep breath and sang. "Seven A.M., the usual morning line-up  
>"Start on the chores, and sweep 'til the floor's all clean<br>"Polish and wax, do laundry and mop and shine up  
>"Sweep again<br>"And by then  
>"It's, like, seven-fifteen!" Rapunzel began dancing around the stage, letting the music flow through her.<p>

"And so I'll read a book  
>"Or maybe two or three<br>"I'll add a few new paintings  
>"To my gallery<br>"I'll play guitar and knit and cook  
>"And basically<br>"Just wonder, when will my life begin?"

"Then, after lunch, it's puzzles, and darts, and baking...  
>"Paper-Mache, a bit of ballet, and chess...<br>"Pottery and ventriloquy, candle-making...  
>"Then I'll stretch<br>"Maybe sketch  
>"Take a climb<br>"Sew a dress

"And I'll go ride my horse  
>"If I have time to spare<br>"I'll paint the wall some more  
>"I'm sure there's room somewhere<br>"And then I'll brush, and brush  
>"And brush, and brush my hair<br>"Stuck in the same place I've always been

"And I'll keep wonderin'  
>"And wonderin'<br>"And wonderin'  
>"And wonderin'<br>"When will my life begin?" Rapunzel finished with a flourish. Pascal jumped up and down on the piano in glee at Rapunzel's song.

King Edward clapped enthusiastically. "Well done, Rapunzel! Well done indeed!"

"Thanks, Your Majesty!" Rapunzel laughed.

"Singing on a dime is the true mark of royalty! If you can express what lies in your heart in glorious song for all the world to hear at any moment, you have the passion and resilience to be a leader!" Edward said proudly.

"Your Highness..." Rapunzel began.

"Though, may I ask you something?" The king began.

"Uh, sure!' Rapunzel shrugged.

"Was that really how you spent every day at your mother's mansion?" Edward asked bluntly.

"Well, yeah, it was, pretty much." Rapunzel shrugged.

"You certainly had an active routine." The king said. "Though, didn't your mother just have servants to do the house work?"

"Well, she thought it would build character to have me do work for myself." Rapunzel shrugged. "It was actually fulfilling and kinda fun. Right, Pascal?"

The chameleon chirped and offered a thumbs up.

"I suppose that makes sense." Edward smiled proudly. "Well, you passed the test, so you're ready to take on the duties of a princess. I'll see you at dinner."

"See you later, Your Majesty." Rapunzel curtsied before picking up Pascal and skipping off to her room to do some painting before dinner.

* * *

><p>Later that night, Rapunzel, her mother, the king, the queen and Walter met in the dining hall.<p>

"So, Rapunzel, I hear you did well in your last lesson." Walter asked, as the servants brought in the soup and salad.

"Oh it went fine." Rapunzel said, taking a spoonful of mushroom soup.

"She's so modest." Edward grinned. "She was wonderful!

"Oh, thank you." Rapunzel blushed.

"Well, don't let it go to your head, dear. Oh and pass the vinaigrette." Gothel said as her salad arrived.

"I bet she sang like a dream." Walter said proudly.

"Ah, dreams! Following dreams is always a great subject to talk about. Though, I suppose I'd be cheating since I'm already living my dream." Edward said, taking Nancy and Walter's hands.

"Same here." Nancy said, patting her husband's hand. "I've got my loving son and my brave, handsome, airhead prince charming."

"I'm not an airhead." Edward grumbled.

"Of course not, Dear." Nancy said, patting her husband's hand. "How about you, Walter?"

"Well, before I met Rapunzel, I dreamed of meeting my true love and becoming as good a king as my father," Walter said, receiving a pat on the back from Edward.

"That's a nice dream." Rapunzel said. It _was_ a nice dream, if only it didn't involve her as the supposed true love.

"Tell us, Countess, Rapunzel, what are your dreams?" Edward asked.

"Well..." Rapunzel began, but was cut off by her mother.

"Oh, nothing much. Just a long life with my little flower." Gothel said, stroking Rapunzel's hair.

"That's a nice dream." Nancy smiled. "How about you, Rapunzel?"

"Uh... to live happily ever after, of course!" Rapunzel smiled cheerfully.

"Right." Walter raised an eyebrow in obvious disbelief.

"Of course." Nancy smirked sardonically.

"If we are going to be in-laws, I'd prefer we be honest with each other." Edward frowned.

Rapunzel squirmed under the royal family's glares. "Sorry, Your Highness."

"Now what's your _real_ dream?" Walter asked.

Rapunzel gulped. "Um... I wa... ee...lights."

"Excuse me?" Edward asked.

"Rapunzel dear, please don't mumble, you know how I hate the mumbling. Blah blah blah, it's really very annoying." Gothel said, before pinching her cheek. "I'm just teasing! You're adorable! I love you so much, darling."

The royal family just stared in awkward silence. Walter cleared his throat and asked. "Uh, so Rapunzel, what is your dream?"

"Well, it's... it's a silly dream. It's not even worth thinking about." Rapunzel tried to brush off the question.

"Tell us. I promise I won't think it's silly." Nancy said, encouragingly.

"I... I... I want to go see the floating lights that appear on my birthday!" Rapunzel blurted out. The king just stared blankly at her for a minute. Rapunzel winced in embarrassment.

"Oh Flower, you really need to let this go." Gothel sighed. "There are no magic lights, it's just the stars! There's..."

"Didn't you say that your birthday in a few days?" Edward interrupted Gothel's diatribe. "Right around the first day of summer?"

"Uh... yes." Rapunzel nodded curiously.

"By any chance do these lights appear to the South about an hour after sunset?" Walter asked.

"And they do _look_ like little yellow stars, but they float up into the sky, and after a while, they float back down, right?" Nancy asked.

"YOU'VE SEEN THEM TOO?"Rapunzel stared at royal family in awe.

"Of course, we have." The queen said as if it was common knowledge. "We watch them every year at the beginning of summer."

"Oh my gosh! I don't believe it!" Rapunzel thought she might faint. Someone else knew about the lights! And not just anybody, but the ROYAL FAMILY OF ANDALASIA! "I _knew_ they weren't stars!"

"Well... I guess I was mistaken." Gothel admitted reluctantly.

"Do... do... do you know what they are?" Rapunzel leaned forward with great interest,

"I'm afraid not." Walter shrugged. "All we know is they are from across the sea."

"I suspect they're giant fireflies." Edward added, making his wife roll her eyes.

"Have you ever heard anyone from across the sea talk about them?" Rapunzel asked eagerly.

"No, the only other kingdom close enough to be the source of the lights is Andalasia's sworn enemy, Corona." Walter explained.

"And you know what that place is like!" Gothel added.

Rapunzel couldn't help but notice her mother seemed very on edge. "Uh, no, actually I don't. Is it one of those places full of ruffians and thugs?"

"Actually, it was quite nice the last time we were there." Nancy said, pouring herself a glass of water. "Everyone was friendly and we got along fine with the king and queen."

"So, why are they our sworn enemy?" Rapunzel asked.

"Rapunzel dear, it's impolite to talk politics at the dinner table." Gothel chided in a higher tone than normal.

"Oh, it's fine, Gothel." Nancy waved off the concern. "We don't mind."

"The last time we heard from Corona, was almost twenty years ago. The queen had just had a baby and we sent our congratulations to them." Edward explained. "A week later, we received a message that Corona had ended our alliance."

"Did they say why?" Rapunzel asked.

Nancy shrugged."No, just that they wanted nothing to do with us and any further attempt at would mean war."

"So, we don't get many visitors from there." Walter explained. "Unless you count that worthless piece of human garbage, the Dread Pirate Flynn Rider. I hear he plunders there some times on his way back to plunder Andalasia."

"Oh." Rapunzel was disappointed and elated all at once. She didn't know what to think or say beyond the astonishment that her magical lights were real.

"Well, there you go. Even if they are real, we can't see them without starting a war. It's hopeless." Gothel said, with a note of finality in her voice.

"Not necessarily." Rapunzel was too intrigued to just drop the subject.

"Rapunzel..." Gothel groaned.

"They sent that message twenty years ago. A lot can happen in that amount of time." Rapunzel was so enraptured by the floating lights acknowledged existence, she stood up and began pacing.

"She's certainly passionate." Nancy whispered to her husband.

"Isn't she just?" Walter sighed, dreamily.

"Rapunzel, this is ridiculous." Gothel sighed in irritation.

"No, it's not. The country's 500th anniversary are just the sort of occasions to reach out and try to heal old grudges." Rapunzel's brain was going a mile a minute.

"She has a point." Edward said to his wife and son.

"Rapunzel, we're done talking about this." Gothel stood up from her seat and walked over to her.

"Mother, it's all right, this will work." Rapunzel chattered on. "We send an ambassador with an offer of peace in honor of the occasion. Heck, maybe as a show of faith, Walter and I should go with them to negotiate! I mean we'd have to bring guards of course, but once we're there..."

"ENOUGH WITH THE LIGHTS, RAPUNZEL!" Gothel shouted. She grabbed her daughter by the shoulders and roughly shook her. "YOU! ARE NOT! GOING TO THAT PLACE! AND YOU! ARE! _NOT!_ LEAVING ME! _EVER!_ NOW GO TO YOUR ROOM!"

Rapunzel was shocked into silence at the intensity of her mother's words. She wilted under her mother's furious eyes and sprinted from the dining hall. The sound of her bare footfalls echoed through the room

"Oh, _great_!" Gothel sighed in defeat as she slumped into her chair. "Now, _I'm_ the bad guy."

"May I be excused, Mother and Father? I'm afraid I've lost my appetite." Walter said, glaring at the countess.

"Go ahead, Walter." Nancy said, giving Gothel a hard stare of her own.

Walter threw his napkin on the table and strode out of the dining hall. He went straight to Rapunzel's room to check on her. He raised his fist to knock when he heard her through the door.

"They're real... they're real... they're real..." Walter heard her repeat that phrase over and over.

"Rapunzel! It's Walter! Are you alright? May I come in?" He called through the door.

There was no reply, but after a moment he heard the door unlock.

The prince pushed the door open, and found Rapunzel sitting on her bed with her knees pulled into her chest. A vivid blue Pascal perched on her knee, offering a comforting chirp.

"Rapunzel?" Walter ventured, walking up to the bed.

"She doesn't understand." Rapunzel whispered.

"Well, things can change." Walter said, stepping closer.

"Not this." Rapunzel shook her head. "No matter what I do, she'll always be making my decisions for me."

"Well, you won't have to worry about that for long." Walter smiled.

"Yeah, right." Rapunzel scoffed.

"I mean it, Milady." Walter said, sitting next to her. "In a few weeks, we'll be married and you will be the princess of Andalasia."

Rapunzel started at the pronouncement. "Yes... I will..."

"And when you are, you will be making your own decisions." Walter pressed on, thinking he'd struck the right nerve. "Your mother is a countess and nobility can't tell royalty what to do."

"Once we're... _married_." Rapunzel said in a daze.

"That's right! Once we say 'I do,' I promise you'll be free to do whatever you want." he placed a hand comfortingly on her shoulder. "We can leave the country, see the world, maybe even go ahead with your plan of peace with Corona."

"Free..." Rapunzel echoed.

"Yes! Granted, I'll take care of most of the affairs of state, since you're somewhat inexperienced. But you'll still be able to do whatever else you want. Won't that be wonderful?" Walter smiled.

"Yes... that would be wonderful." Rapunzel said, smiling at Walter.

"I'm glad you think so." Walter said, patting her shoulder. "It's been a long night, you should get some rest."

"I'll do that." Rapunzel nodded.

"Goodnight, dear." Before she knew what happened, Walter leaned in and kissed her cheek.

The prince turned and strode out of her room, leaving the stunned princess alone with her increasingly worried chameleon. The second she heard his steps fade, Rapunzel turned to Pascal in near panic.

Rapunzel squeaked, holding Pascal to her eye level. "I'm marrying Walter!"

Pascal shrugged. _Well, yeah what did you think was happening?_

"I know, it's stupid but... everything has been so nice here that I forgot _why_ we're here!" Rapunzel groaned, tugging at a strand of her hair. "I can't do it, Pascal, I just can't!"

_OK, we'll figure this out. _Pascal tried to comfort her.

"No matter what I'll end up stuck somewhere while everyone else decides my future." Rapunzel took a deep breath and stared determinedly at her lizard friend. "We're leaving."

Pascal whirred in surprise.

"I'm tired of being stuck with Mother making all my decisions for me, and I refuse to get stuck in a marriage to somebody I don't love." Rapunzel all but snarled. "It's time I made a decision for myself for once. On Saturday, we're taking Maximus and going away. I don't care how scary the world is, there has to be a better place than this."

Rapunzel swept over to her window and looked out at the starry sky. Endless spots of light looked back at her, calling to her. She didn't know what they were calling her towards, but she couldn't ignore them any longer.

"The floating lights are real." Rapunzel whispered, as if saying it too loud would make it no true. "There has to be some place out there where we can start over."

* * *

><p>The next few days passed without further incident. By Friday night, no one seemed to even remember that night. By dawn on Saturday, Rapunzel was ready to move.<p>

* * *

><p>Her mother, herself, Walter, and the king and queen were sitting around the dining hall exchanging small talk while Rapunzel awaited the opportunity.<p>

"So, how is everyone today?" Rapunzel asked, trying to appear casual.

"A little tired." King Edward yawned. "We were up late looking over more trouble at the Andalasian Postal Service."

"Again?" Walter asked incredulously.

"The postal service is acting up _again_?" Gothel groaned. "They've been losing my letters for years!"

"I swear, if we have to set up another meeting with the post master general, I'll take a crossbow to myself." Queen Nancy said pouring a fifth spoonful of sugar into her coffee. "It shouldn't be humanly possible to be _that_ boring!"

"I'll ride over to the postal headquarters and speak to him." Walter volunteered.

"Speaking of riding, I was thinking maybe I could take a ride in the woods today." Rapunzel ventured, desperately hoping she appeared nonchalant.

"I'm sorry, what?" Gothel asked flatly, glaring at Rapunzel.

"I was just thinking, it might be nice to take Maximus for a ride in the forest." Rapunzel said casually buttering a piece of toast.

"Rapunzel, flower, it's too dangerous." Gothel said dismissively.

"Not really." Walter shrugged. "The forest around here is safe as can be. The animals are more than friendly and Father tamed the last marauding troll years ago."

"Well, maybe for those of us with experience, but dear Rapunzel is too delicate to handle herself out there on her own." Gothel said, smiling thinly.

"Oh please, smart young gal like Rapunzel can handle it." The queen said, smiling encouragingly at the young lady.

"Oh, Your Majesty!" Gothel said with a light chuckle. "I'm afraid you don't know my daughter. Poor thing's too naive to be left on her own. She doesn't understand much about the real world."

"Funny, I knew someone like that once." Queen Nancy said, raising an eyebrow. "I thought she was just a flighty ditz who had her head in the clouds. But I was wrong about her, just like you're wrong about your daughter."

"Yes, you don't seem to have any faith in your daughter at all." King Edward said, frowning.

"That's not true!" Gothel said indignantly. "I have plenty of confidence in her, but it's best to be honest and realistic about your child's shortcomings. Why she's never been outside on her own a day in her life."

"That's not exactly my fault, Mother." Rapunzel said quietly.

"Rapunzel!" Gothel snapped. "You will not speak to me that way!"

"Wait, you've _never_ been outside before?" Nancy asked incredulous.

Gothel turned to the queen before Rapunzel could even open her mouth. "Wait, I...I didn't say that, I just meant..."

"Countess." Nancy cut Gothel off sharply. "I was speaking to your daughter."

Gothel stayed silent, but gave an irate glare at the queen.

"Um, I've been outdoors before. I've ridden Maximus around the courtyard at our old place almost every day for years." Rapunzel began nervously.

"And how many times have you taken Maximus on a ride _outside_ the manor grounds?" Walter leaned forward.

"..." Rapunzel mumbled.

"Speak up, Rapunzel." Gothel sighed, rubbing her temple. "You know what I said about mumbling to royalty.

"Never." Rapunzel looking at her hands in embarrassment. She just knew the royal family was staring at her like she was a freak.

"Rapunzel?" She looked up at Walter's hard tone and saw him staring at her with a look of grave seriousness on his face. "Before that day I called you to come and paint my bed chamber, when was the last time you had ever set foot outside your mother's manor?"

Rapunzel sheepishly pulled at her braid as Walter's eyes seemed to bore into her head. "Uh... I don't... I can't... Never, I guess?"

The prince stared at her for a moment. An excruciatingly long moment. Rapunzel was sweating like a mouse cornered by a cat. They'd never let her leave now!

"Well," Walter said, folding his arms. "there's a first time for everything."

Rapunzel's jaw dropped. "What?"

"Go and take Maximus for a ride." Walter smiled.

"Now wait a minute!" Gothel shrieked.

"Countess..." Walter turned his steely gaze to Gothel. "I don't relish telling a parent how to raise their child and I also don't like using my position to force people to do what I want. However, you can either willingly let go of the reigns a little or I can make a royal decree to let my fiancée ride a horse."

Gothel glared at the prince in quiet rage while Rapunzel stared in wide-eyed disbelief. In her entire life, she couldn't remember anyone _ever_ defying her mother before, let alone stand up for _her_ before. Gothel turned from Walter to Rapunzel, sputtering in outrage.

"I...but... you..she..." Gothel sighed in defeat and grumbled. "...Well, I suppose it can't hurt this once."

"REALLY?" Rapunzel jumped to her feet in joy.

"Yes." Gothel graned.

"YAY! I'll go get ready!" Rapunzel dashed from the room in uninhibited glee.

"This is a bad idea." Gothel said, pinching the bridge of her nose.

"You gotta let go of their hands sooner or later." Nancy offered Gothel a comforting smile.

* * *

><p>Within half an hour, Rapunzel was dressed and ready. She changed into a simple lavender dress; pretty but easy to ride in. She had packed some food, some money, a few dresses, her favorite book and her and Eugene's frying pan into some saddle bags. She was ready to go off to whatever palace she and her two oldest friends could find to start over.<p>

"Maximus!" Rapunzel squealed as she opened his stall. Maximus whinnied happily at the sight of his favorite rider. "Oh, I'm sorry I haven't been able to go on rides with you for so long. But we'll fix that from now on, yes we will!"

Max nickered in delight as Rapunzel scratched behind his ears.

"OK, Max." Rapunzel whispered, petting her faithful steed. "Today's the day. We're going away."

Max's eyes widened in shock. He motioned his head towards the castle in question. _Are you sure?_

"I know." Rapunzel sighed sadly. "I don't want to hurt Mother or Walter or his parents or anybody, but I can't go through with the wedding."

Max gave Rapunzel a comforting nuzzle, as did Pascal.

"I'm so glad I have you two." Rapunzel chuckled.

"Ready for your ride?" Rapunzel jumped as Walter stepped into the stable.

"As ready as I'll ever be." Rapunzel shrugged, throwing the saddlebags over Max's side.

"You need that much on a ride?" Walter asked, seeing the bulging saddlebag.

"Oh, it's just some food. I thought Max and I would have a picnic lunch after we ride." Rapunzel lied.

"Ah, that does sound nice." Walter said cheerfully. "Maybe tomorrow we can go riding together and have a picnic of our own."

"Yeah! Yeah, that would be great!" Rapunzel chuckled uncomfortably. She felt horrible. For whatever reason, Walter loved her and she was about to run off on him.

"Well, better get a move on." Walter said, walking briskly from the stable.

"Yeah," Rapunzel said, gathering her resolve. "better get going."

Rapunzel lead Maximus out to the courtyard where the king and queen and even her mother were waiting.

"Enjoy your ride, Rapunzel." Queen Nancy

"Be careful, flower." Gothel hugged her tighter than she could ever remember.

"I will, Mother." Rapunzel said, hugging her back fiercely.

"I love you, dear." Gothel said, her face buried in the crook of her neck.

"I love you more." Rapunzel squeezed her eyes shut, trying to stave off confessing her plan and begging forgiveness.

"I love you most." Her mother kissed the top of her head and finally let her go.

Rapunzel offered her "family" a smile before mounting Maximus. She turned back one last time to wave goodbye and gave Max's reigns a light snap. He began walking to the front gates. Rapunzel watched in awe as the massive doors swung open, revealing the forest beyond. It was the same as any forest in the land, but to her, it may as well have been the road to fairyland.

"Look at the world  
>"So close, and I'm halfway to it!" Rapunzel whispered as Max trotted through the huge doors.<br>"Look at it all,  
>"So big, do I even dare?<br>"Look at me,  
>"There at last!<br>"I just have to do it." Her eyes widened as the sun shown down on the path into the forest. It looked so inviting, almost daring her to explore further.

"Should I?" In a moment of doubt, she looked back towards the castle. She could turn back now if she wanted...  
>"No!<br>"Here I go!" She smiled at Max and Pascal, receiving encouraging smiles in return. She snapped the reigns and Max galloped off through the woods. She laughed as she felt the wind flow through her hair. She reached back and began undoing her braid as she rode. She didn't want to feel the wind through that constricting thing anymore. She wanted to feel the air blow through it and let it flap in the wind. With one last twirl, seventy feet of blonde hair flew through the air behind her and her horse. Max had never run this fast with her before and she loved every second of it.

They stopped after only fifteen minutes, but to Rapunzel, it felt like they had been riding forever. She was still breathless from the experience. Max looked back at her and motioned to the ground next to him.

Rapunzel turned and cautiously peered down at the grass. She had never walked on grass before. Mother's courtyard was either paved over or gravel. What would this feel like?

Ever so slowly, she lowered her foot to the ground. Then the other. A smile grew across her face as she wriggled her toes on the forest floor.  
>"Just smell the grass! The dirt!<br>"Just like I dreamed they'd be!" Rapunzel sang as she threw herself to the ground and rolled in the grass contentedly.  
>"Just feel that summer breeze<br>"The way it's calling me" She gasped as she looked down and realized she had stepped into a stream.  
>"For like the first time ever, I'm completely free!" Rapunzel threw some water over her head as she looked up at the sky in awe.<p>

"I could go running  
>"And racing<br>"And dancing  
>"And chasing!" Rapunzel began to run through the forest, excitement building and her pace quickening with ever step.<br>"And leaping  
>"And bounding<br>"Hair flying  
>"Heart pounding<br>"And splashing  
>"And reeling<br>"And finally feeling  
>"Now's when my life begiiiiiiiiiins!" Rapunzel spun around the clearing, arms wide as if to embrace the entire world.<p>

"I can't _believe_ I did this_! I can't believe I did this!_ I CAN'T BELIEVE I _DID_ THIS! HAHA!" Rapunzel laughed before suddenly muttering, "Mother will be _so_ furious!"

Pascal and Maximus stared in confusion at her change in demeanor.

"But that's OK! I mean, what she doesn't know won't kill her, right?" She asked her friends desperately. The lizard and horse nodded hesitantly. She just howled in misery and ran into a dark cave.

"OH MY GOSH! This will kill her!" They heard Rapunzel wail.

Maximus snorted. _Is she OK?_

Pascal whirred. _She's just a little... overexcited that's all. She'll be..._

"THIS IS SO FUUUUUUUUUUUUN!" The animals were interrupted by Rapunzel streaking past them, kicking a pile of leaves as she went.

Maximus gave the chameleon a look. _A_ little _overexcited?_

"_I_ am a horrible daughter." They looked up and saw Rapunzel standing at the top of a tree. "I'm going back."

Pascal scoffed. _OK, so she's really on edge._

"I AM NEVER GOING BA-HA-HACK! HOO-HOO!" Rapunzel squealed as she rolled down a small hill, getting wrapped up in her hair. She then rolled onto her face and groaned. "I am a despicable human being!"

Pascal and Maximus finally gave up and just stood wearily by while Rapunzel swung around a tree from her hair. "WOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOO! BEST! DAY! EVER! AHAHA!"

However, while the runaway princess continued to switch between ecstasy and agony over her escape, she was being watched.

A short distance away, an old woman and three large men watched her antics with sinister intent. ...And mounting confusion as she burst into tears for the third time in five minutes.

"That girl has some serious issues." Said one of the large men.

"Ya think?" the old woman scoffed.

"Why's her hair so long?" Asked another man.

"I don't know, maybe she's growing it out!" The old woman snapped. "Let's just get going!"

"Oh Pascal, Max, I don't know what I'm doing." Rapunzel wiped the tears tear away.

"Are you all right, my dear?"

"AH!" Rapunzel screamed at the new voice. She looked up in terror at the strange group that stood before her. There was an old lady in a purple dress and headdress, a large man wearing white face paint, a larger man with a hook for a hand and a _huge_ man with a horned helmet stood before her.

Rapunzel jumping up and ran to Max. The horse jumped between her and the intruders in a defense position. Rapunzel dug through the saddle bags and pulled out the frying pan.

"Stay back!" Rapunzel tried to sound brave as she raised her frying pan to strike. "I'm not afraid of ruffians and thugs like you! You'll never take my hair alive!"

"Take your ha..." The thug with the hook squinted in confusion.

"Oh deary, you have nothing to worry about!" said the old woman, smiling kindly at her. "We're just travelling circus performers."

"You are?" Rapunzel asked, lowering the pan ever so slightly. "I've... never seen a circus before."

"Then you're in luck! You've stumbled across the Amazing Yzma, queen of magicians!" The old woman said with dramatic flair. With a wave of her hand, a bouquet of flowers appeared.

"Hook Hand Garret, trick swordsman extraordinaire!" Yzma waved to the man with the hook hand. He pulled out a sword, swallowed it up to the hilt and then pulled it back out with his hook.

"Vladimir, the giant!" Yzma waved to the huge man with the horned helmet. Vladimir walked over to an old tree and pulled it right out of the ground, roots and all. He lifted it above his head and threw it nearly fifty feet away.

"And... Ulf the mime." Yzma sighed, as Ulf began miming being stuck in an invisible box.

"Amazing!" Rapunzel said happily at the antics. Pascal and Maximus even smiled in amusement.

"Thank you my dear. And we're about to pull off our most amazing trick ever! But we need an audience! Is there a village near by?" Yzma asked.

"I'm afraid there's nothing around for miles." Rapunzel said. "Sorry."

"No problem, I guess _you'll_ get to be our audience for our greatest trick ever!" Yzma said, gesturing wildly.

"Oh wow! So what's the trick?" Rapunzel asked, bouncing on her heels in excitement.

"We are going to..." Yzma began dramatically as Rapunzel's eyes widened. "Make a princess disappear!"

Rapunzel's face fell. "What?"

"GET HER!" Yzma yelled. The three large men advanced menacingly on Rapunzel.

Maximus jumped in the way and snorted fiercely at the attackers. Vladimir tried to sidestep the horse, but only got a hoof in the gut. The giant doubled over, allowing Maximus to buck him right in the face, sending him flying into Yzma.

Hook Hand went at Rapunzel, but she threw her hair up and lassoed his arms and legs. With a pull of her hair, she manipulated Hook Hand's limbs like a puppet on a string, making him beat the daylights out of himself. Hook Hand stumbled in a daze from Rapunzel's little puppet show. The last thing that ran through his mind was the image of a frying pan coming right at his face.

"MAX! PASCAL! WE GOTTA GO!" Rapunzel yelled as Hook Hand fell to the ground. She turned to run to Maximus, but Ulf the mime stood in her way. She raised her frying pan to hit him, but Ulf reached up and pinched the side of her neck. She gasped and fell to the ground unconscious.

Maximus snarled at Ulf's action and turned to charge him, but Vladimir grabbed his reigns and tied him to the nearest tree. Vladimir jumped back as Maximus thrashed and bucked at him.

"OK! Nice horsey." Vladimir said nervously. He prayed that he had tied the reigns tight enough, because he saw murder in the horse's eyes.

Yzma steadied herself on a nearby tree and tried to regain her bearings. "Wha...what happened?"

"Uh, the horse is tied up and Ulf knocked the girl out with his nerve pinch." Vladimir said, as Ulf smiled proudly.

"Where did he learn a nerve pinch?" Yzma asked astounded. Ulf pulled out a book with a picture on the cover of a man with pointed ears. "All right, fine! So that stupid book _was_ good for something."

"Well, we got her, no now what?" Hook Hand asked.

"OK, now for the easy stuff." Yzma said, taking out a sack of stuff. She pulled out a sword and handed it to Vladimir. "Stick this in a tree."

"OK." Vladimir shrugged, lightly tossing the sword at a tree, which splintered on impact as the sword buried itself up to the hilt. The thugs watched in confusion as Yzma ripped up a red garment and sending shreds around the area. "What are you doing that for?"

"Yeah, that was a perfectly good shirt." Hook Hand said, brushing a piece of white cloth off his shoulder.

"It's not just a shirt! It's a uniform of a soldier of Corona." Yzma said, taking a large patch of purple fabric with a golden sun emblazoned on it. She stuck it in Maximus' saddle and got kicked across the clearing and into a patch of thorn bushes. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! YOW!"

"Are you OK, Yzma?" Hook Hand called out as the thugs ran to her aid.

"I _will_ be when you lunk-heads GET ME OUTTA HERE!" Yzma snarled as the huge men pulled her out of the bushes.

"Who's Corona?" Vladimir asked.

"A kingdom across the sea. A sworn enemy of Andalasia." Yzma said as Hook Hand and Ulf helped her up. "Get off me! Once the prince finds the sword and fabric, he'll think agents of Corona abducted his bride. And when he finds her dead body near Corona's capital, he'll declare war on them."

"Whoa, wait!" Vladimir said anxiously. "You never said anything about _killing_ her."

"Oh, come on, boys! I've hired you to help me start a war!" Yzma said, smiling proudly. "It's great line of work for villains."

"I just don't think it's right to kill an innocent girl." Vladimir shrugged.

"Do these old ears deceive me or did you just say 'you think?'" Yzma snarled. "I didn't hire you to think, you oversized rock head!"

"I agree with Vladimir." Hook Hand said.

"Oh, great! Now Hookie has second thoughts too!" Yzma yelled. "You bleeding hearts don't have to worry; I'll be the one to kill her! And don't forget this! DON'T YOU EVER FORGET THIS! Before I found you, you were a pathetic drunk playing piano in a hole-in-the-wall bar.

"And you!" Yzma screamed, whirling on Vladimir in a rage. The giant backed away as Yzma ranted. "Brainless, talentless, hopeless, helpless, friendless! Do you want to back to wandering around the desert playing a caveman named Eegah?

"And you!" Yzma rounded on Ulf, causing him to jump back and cover his eyes in fear. "You're... you're a _mime_! I don't want to hear another complaint out of any of you! Now, grab the girl and let's get to the boat!"

Vladimir threw Rapunzel over his left shoulder and threw her outrageous length of hair over his right. When Yzma had walked a short distance ahead, Vladimir whispered to his friends, "I still don't think it's right."

"Me neither." Hook Hand said quietly. "You gotta give the girl credit. She put up a heck of a fight."

"Yeah, I can't wait till we get to a bar. I'm gonna tell everybody how a little 90 pound princess made you beat yourself up." Vladimir snickered.

"And me and Ulf will tell everyone how you got thrashed by a horse!" Hook Hand smiled evilly.

"Oh come on, that horse had a vicious streak a mile wide! It's a killer!" Vladimir defended.

"That's what you said about a little bunny you saw in England." Hook Hand said rolling his eyes.

"Hey, you didn't see that rabbit take a knight's head clean off,_ I_ did!"

"Why me?" Yzma asked, rubbing her temples. "Out of all the evil thugs in the world, why can I only find the barely functioning morons?"

Little did the would-be kidnappers know, but they were being watched. As they went down the path, a pair of ruffians emerged from their hiding place. One wore a horned helmet that completely covered his face; the other wore a smaller winged helmet and sported a very large nose.

"The boss isn't gonna like this, Attila." Said Big Nose.

"We gotta get back and tell him!" Said Attila, his voice reverberating in his helmet. "Come on!"

The pair of ruffians ran off to rendezvous with their boss, while Yzma and her thugs went in the opposite direction with their captive princess.

* * *

><p>"Wait." Zachary said. "First Pascal and Max are in this story and now so are Vlad, Attila and a bunch of our uncles?"<p>

"Yeah, it's weird." Rose said, suddenly getting an idea. "Grandpa, are we in this story too?"

"Oh, I'm afraid not, Sweetheart." The King said.

"Is there anyone else we know in this story?" Zachary asked.

"Well... yes, you could say that." The King said, chuckling at a private joke.

"But wait, Uncle Hook, Vlad and Ulf are nice guys, why are they helping the mean old lady?" Zachary asked.

"How about you let me get to the next chapter and we can find out?" The King turned to the next page.

"Can you make it fast, Grandpa?" Zachary asked. "It feels like it took forever to get to this last chapter."

* * *

><p>Sorry for the wait, folks! You know it's bad when even the characters think it took too long. I'll really try to get the next one done quicker.<p>

Enjoy the little MST3K shout out? I was surprised he was voiced by the same guy too. And if anyone _doesn't _know what _Mystery Science Theater 3000_ is, go Youtube it. The show's hilarious.

Please leave a review. I'd really appreciate feedback on whether this story is coming together or needs improvement.


	5. The Chase is On!

**Chapter 5: The Chase is On!**

* * *

><p>Rapunzel was awakened by the world beneath her rocking back and forth. Her eyes fluttered open and saw that she was aboard a small sailboat.<p>

_How did I get here? ...Oh yeah._ Rapunzel remembered the encounter with the old woman and her gang of thugs. She looked up and saw that two of the thugs, Hook Hand and Ulf the mime, stood just five feet away from her. Vladimir the giant stood at the helm and steered the ship. The old lady, Yzma, was lounging on a bench near the bow of the ship like she was on a pleasure cruise. She didn't move right away; she didn't want to attract attention.

Thankfully, she wasn't tied up. Her hair was wrapped in a small pile to her right. Having it unbraided might make escape difficult. Thankfully, her captors had also left her frying pan in her hair as well. That might help her and Pascal get... She suppressed a gasp as she remembered Pascal. She looked around in desperate hope that he was there with her and he was all right. A quiet chirp caught her attention; a tiny spot of green appeared in the rolls of her hair. The chameleon skittered to her shoulder and gave her neck a tight hug.

"Blend in." Rapunzel whispered to Pascal. "We'll wait for the right moment and swim away."

"ULF!" Yzma screeched. "DRINK!"

The mime dashed over and passed the old hag a glass with a tiny umbrella.

"Yzma sure can fuss." Hook Hand grumbled.

"I think she likes to scream at _us_." Vlad smiled.

Hook smiled knowingly. "I'm sure she means no _harm_."

"She's really very short on..." CRASH! Vladimir was cut off by Yzma's glass flying through the air and shattering on his forehead.

"Don't start with that stupid rhyming game again!" Yzma snarled.

"Well, we're bored." Hook Hand moaned. "We've been sailing for hours and there's nothing to do."

While her kidnappers argued, Rapunzel slowly inched towards the edge of the boat.

Yzma sighed. "Well, why don't you go fishing? Maybe catch us some lunch."

"We don't have any fishing hooks." Hook Hand said.

"Then what do you call that thing on your left arm?" Yzma deadpanned. "Stick it over the side and see what bites."

"This whole job bites." Vladimir groaned.

**_SPLASH!_**

The kidnappers whipped around towards the sound of the splash. Rapunzel was gone!

"No, no, no, no, NO!" Yzma yelled as she ran to the side of the ship. The princess swam away from the boat as fast as she could, her hair trailing behind her like some golden sea serpent. "Well, what are you waiting for? Go get her!"

"I don't swim." Hook Hand shrugged.

"I can only dog paddle." Vladimir

Ulf mimed himself drowning.

"Fine, move the boat!" Yzma hollered. "Veer left!"

"Aye aye!" Hook Hand ran to the helm and turned the boat in pursuit of the fleeing girl.

"Where do you think you're going, princess?" Yzma called out over the water.

"Anywhere!" Rapunzel shouted back as she stroked through the water. She was a fast swimmer. She had already put at least 500 yards between them.

"We're in the middle of the _ocean_! There's no land for miles!" Yzma shouted. "You'll die of exhaustion or get eaten before long!"

"Eaten?" Rapunzel gasped, stopping mid stroke.

Rapunzel yelped as something brushed past her leg. She watched as two yellow lights appeared in the water and began circling her.

"See that, Your Highness?" Yzma called, smiling evilly. "Those are the yellow eyed eels, Flotsam and Jetsam! Minions of Ursula, the Sea Witch! If they're here, she can't be far behind!"

"Poor child..." A pair of unearthly voices chanted from under the water. One of the eels surfaced and grinned at her. Rapunzel blanched at the creature's hideous face and dead yellow eyes. "Poor _sweet_ child. She has a _very_ serious problem. Don't you think, Flotsam?"

"Oh _yes_, Jetsam." The other eel popped up right next to her. Pascal squeaked in terror and put a death grip on Rapunzel's hair. "Lost and _alone_... Pursued by kidnappers... If _only_ there was something we could do!"

"If you swim back now, I _promise_ we won't hurt you!" Yzma shouted as the ship came closer. "I doubt you'll get a better offer from the Sea Witch!"

"Don't listen to her." Flotsam purred, circling her. "Ursula has great powers."

"Power enough to help you." Jetsam added.

"Power enough to make all your dreams come true." Flotsam continued.

"They're right, you know." Rapunzel screamed as she felt a hand on her shoulder. She whirled around and came face to face with the Sea Witch herself. She was at least twice in height and triple her size in bulk. Her grey skin and white hair made her look like a waterlogged corpse. A series of long black tentacles whipped around in the water like her eel minions did. A wicked grin crossed Ursula's plump face. "I do my best to help poor unfortunate souls like you."

"I...I... I don't want anything from you!" Rapunzel stammered, treading water away from the witch.

"Poor lost princess." Ursula smiled, swimming after her. "You don't know _what_ you want. You don't know where you're going. You don't even know who you are!"

"I do too!" Rapunzel yelled indignantly.

"Yes, a runaway who ran off because she misses someone she loves." Ursula sneered.

"How... How did you..." Rapunzel was dumbstruck.

"I have my ways." Ursula said vaguely. "And that's not even the juiciest little secret I know about you."

"What?" the frightened princess gaped.

"But I think it will be just so much more fun if you died never knowing the truth about yourself and your true love." A tentacle snapped out and grabbed Rapunzel around her waist. "Besides, I was getting hungry anyway. AHAHAHAHA!"

"NO!" Rapunzel screamed...

* * *

><p>"She doesn't get eaten, you know." The King said casually.<p>

"What?" Zachary was sitting on the edge of his bed in suspense.

"The Sea Witch doesn't eat her." The King said. "You just looked a little worried."

"I wasn't worried." Zachary mumbled, trying to hide his concern. "Just... thought that the evil witch sounded cool."

"You're getting into the story." Rose said in a little sing-song voice.

"Was not!" Zachary snapped.

"Were too!" Rose laughed.

"Was not!"

"Well, we can stop if you want." The King offered.

"No!" Rose and Zachary said at once. Everyone looked at Zachary expectantly.

"Uh, you... you can read a little more." Zachary said, indifferently. "I mean, _Rose_ wants to hear more, so you can keep going."

"Well, alright, since you're so considerate of your sister." The King looked back at the book. "All right, 'Those are the yellow eyed eels, Flotsam and Jetsam! Minions of...'"

"Uh, Grandpa, you read that part already." Rose said.

"What? Oh! You're right, I'm sorry." The King turned the page. "Uh, let's see. She was in the water, the eels came up to her, Yzma was shouting, Ursula popped up and said she would eat her and..."

* * *

><p>"NO!" Rapunzel screamed and raised her frying pan.<p>

Ursula chuckled evilly. "Poor little princ-"

**_CLANG!_**

Rapunzel swung the pan right into Ursula's face. The Sea Witch's eyes crossed and she sank beneath the waves. Flotsam and Jetsam stared in shock as their mistress sank.

"You'll pay for that!" Jetsam hissed. The eels charged at Rapunzel with vicious intent. The young girl pulled the pan back to strike again. The eels leapt out of the water, their mouths open.

**WHAM!**

A huge fist came down on top of the eels, sending them back into the water. Another hand grabbed Rapunzel by her hair and pulled her out of the sea. The giant let Rapunzel drop onto the deck as Hook Hand and Ulf pulled the endless lengths of sopping wet hair out of the water.

"Nice swing!" Vlad smiled politely.

"Knocked the witch out cold!" Hook Hand nodded. "I'm impressed."

"Stop being impressed and tie her up!" Yzma snarled, grabbing the frying pan. "Why didn't anyone do that before?"

"I told Vlad to do it!" Hook Hand pointed his hook to Vladimir.

"I told Ulf to do it." Vlad pointed to the mime.

Ulf nodded his head enthusiastically. He then mimed to throwing a lasso around Rapunzel and tying it tight. He turned to Yzma with a satisfied smile.

"_That's _how you tied her up?" Yzma gritted through her teeth.

Ulf nodded happily.

"It's official, the universe is mocking me." Yzma sighed in disgust.

"Oh, you poor evil kidnapper, I feel so bad for you." Rapunzel groused.

"Gag her while you're at it." Yzma snapped.

"Uh, Yzma, we don't have any spare rope." Vlad said guiltily.

"WHAT? You do... why...I..." Yzma sputtered in incoherent rage. "FINE! THEN USE HER HAIR!"

"I guess that works." Hook Hand said, picking up part of the wet hair.

Rapunzel struggled, but in the end, she was wrapped up tight in her own hair. She sighed in exasperation. Her mother would have a conniption if she saw her hair being used like this. At least it told her one thing; they didn't know about her gift. If they figured out about her hair's power... it was too horrible to think about.

"Sorry about this." Hook Hand said quietly as he finished.

"You are?" Rapunzel asked.

"Yeah, you seem like a nice girl." Hook Hand said, giving her a little smirk. "Lot of spunk, too. Not just anyone takes on guys like us with her hair and a frying pan, let alone knock out the stinkin' Sea Witch."

"Thanks." Rapunzel smiled a little.

Vladimir came up and leaned in close. "Don't worry, this'll be over soon."

"Yeah, over how?" Rapunzel asked, skeptically. "You guys send for ransom, I get sent back with Walter and end up right back where I started."

"Well, not...Wait, you _don't_ want to marry the prince?" Hook Hand was surprised. "I thought every girl wanted to marry her Prince Charmin'."

"The prince isn't my prince charming." Rapunzel's eyes glazed over as the memories ran through her head. "My Prince Charming died a long time ago."

Ulf, wiped away an imaginary tear.

"I'm sorry." Vlad said, looking very contrite.

"It's funny really. I was trying to run away. I wanted to go anywhere besides Andalasia. Heck, I even thought about going to Corona, and here I am on my way there." Rapunzel gave a humorless laugh. Pascal nuzzled her neck in sympathy, turning a deep sad blue.

"Why'd you want to go there?" Hook asked. "Aren't they kind of... _not_ _fond_ of Andalasians?"

"I had to go somewhere. It seemed like my best shot at getting some answers." Rapunzel sighed despondently. "Haven't any of you ever had a dream?"

"_I_... had a dream once. I wanted to be a concert pianist when I was a kid. But then..." Hook Hand wistfully looked at his hook. "Well, let's just say I had a bit of a priority shift."

"That's a nice dream." Rapunzel gave Hook Hand a small smile.

"I... I like... I like to collect ceramic unicorns." Vladimir said, rubbing the back of his head.

"Really?" Rapunzel said, smiling wider. "I like those too. They're so cute."

"_I know, right_?" Vladimir said excitedly. He pulled out two tiny unicorns and showed them off. "This one's name is Rarity and this one's name is Twilight Sparkle."

"Stop standing around and set the sail!" Yzma screeched, making Rapunzel jump. "MOVE IT!"

"Sorry, princess, we gotta get back to work." Hook Hand said as he and his friends went about their business.

Rapunzel sighed, resigned to her fate. She looked over the side at the ocean. It stretched on forever; a shifting mirror of the sky underneath the warm summer sun. It seemed so peaceful, so perfect, yet she was still there at the mercy of villains.

"Maybe Mother was right." Rapunzel muttered, as she watched the waves. "My first time on my own and I get kidnapped. I can't handle myself out here."

Pascal let out a series of indignant squeaks.

"OK, so I got lucky a few times but... wait..." Rapunzel craned her neck until she could see behind the boat. She squinted as she searched the horizon, hoping she wasn't seeing things. Her eyes widened in surprise.

"Your little swimming stunt has put us behind schedule!" Rapunzel whipped back and saw Yzma glowering down at her. "I'm running a very serious job here! I'm not going to let some dumb blonde mess up my carefully crafted plan!"

"Sorry." Rapunzel said sarcastically, rolling her eyes.

"Oh, and I suppose you think you're _brave_ for trying to escape?" Yzma sneered.

"Only compared to someone like you." Rapunzel glared back.

"If I were you, I'd watch my tongue." Yzma rolled her eyes.

"And I were you, I'd be very scared, and not just from looking in a mirror." Rapunzel smirked as the thugs laughed and Yzma's jaw dropped.

"Then tell me," Yzma leaned her face right up against Rapunzel's. "Why should I be scared?"

"When Prince Walter finds out what you've done you'll be caught and hanged." Rapunzel said,

"Oh that's just absolutely, totally, and in all other ways, unbelievable." Yzma laughed. "It'll take hours for anyone in Andalasia to even figure out something happened to you, and there's no way they could send anyone here before we get to Corona."

"Then why is there a ship following us?" Rapunzel asked, raising eyebrow in amusement.

"What?" Yzma ran to the stern. "There can't be..."

"She's right, Yzma." Vlad pointed out.

Sure enough, there was a boat in the distance. It was so far off, they almost didn't see it. It was too far away to see the ship's size, but they could see the sails. The sails were distinctly black and a black flag flew over them.

"Probably just someone having a pleasure cruise." Yzma tried to rationalize.

"Then, why does it look like it's coming this way?" Hook Hand asked with a tinge of fear in his voice.

"Unthinkable!" Yzma stammered. "Why would the prince only send one ship?"

"I think it's getting closer, Yzma." Vlad said.

"It's no big deal, just a coincidence. Just keep going!" Yzma snapped.

The small boat sailed on, but within the hour, the pursuing ship had drastically closed the gap between them.

"Let's have a look at these troublemakers." Yzma took out a spy glass and looked back at their unwanted stalker. "Uh oh."

The other ship was a galleon, at least three times the size of the sailboat. There were men everywhere; either on deck or in the rigging. At the helm stood a man dressed all in black. The top of the mast flew the ship's flag; a skull and two crossed swords.

"GET A MOVE ON!" Yzma shouted.

"What's wrong?" Hook Hand asked.

"_Pirates_ are what's wrong!" Yzma shouted. "Hurry! We've got to get there before they overtake us!"

"Great! First we get kidnapped by ruffians and thugs and now I'm going to be kidnapped by _pirates_!" Rapunzel shivered in fear. "What are we going to do, Pascal?"

The chameleon's only response was to hug her shoulder tightly.

Within an hour, the pirate ship had caught up with them.

"It's right on top of us!" Hook Hand gulped. "I think they're using the same wind we are."

"Well, that's just cheating." Vlad said sourly.

"Pick up the pace!" Yzma hollered. "If they get within range, their cannons will sink us in one shot."

Ulf the mime jumped around the bow, pointing ahead of the boat excitement.

"What now?" Yzma grumbled. She looked in the direction Ulf pointed and smiled. "We've made it to the Cliffs of Wyvern!"

Rapunzel looked up and her jaw dropped. They were sailing right for an impossibly high cliff face that rose straight out of the sea. At the top of the cliff stood an old abandoned castle; it seemed to glare down at the sea below like a larger version of the gargoyles sitting on its battlements. The rock face was too smooth and steep for any normal person to climb. All along the shore were huge rocks and shoals making it nearly impossible for a decent sized ship to dock.

"Move the thing! And the other thing!" Yzma shouted.

The thugs scrambled across the deck, as the boat headed towards the cliffs. Hook Hand took the helm, while Ulf and Vladimir raised the sails. Rapunzel watched as her kidnappers began sailing through a narrow gap in the rocks. The boat was small enough to maneuver through to the shore without being sunk.

The pursuing pirate ship was too large to take such a risky path. Yzma cackled as the ship dropped anchor at the edge of the rocks. Finally, the kidnappers' boat neared a small patch of land at the base of the cliff.

"All ashore!" Hook Hand said as he steered the boat up to the tiny crack of a shore.

The kidnappers disembarked, Vlad holding Rapunzel in his arms. The pirates were coming, and they were stuck on a tiny piece of land at the bottom of an unclimbable cliff. They were trapped!

Yzma pulled out a small vial of pink liquid and threw it on the ground. A bright flash of light and a pink cloud erupted and began rising up the mountain. To Rapunzel's amazement, a rope magically appeared as the cloud rose up the cliff. When it reached the top, the rope tied itself to a rampart, securing it.

"Well that's... neat." Rapunzel said, watching the magic rope.

"All right, now we gotta get to the top!" Yzma screeched. Vladimir put Rapunzel down and picked up a harness out of the boat. He pulled it over his shoulders, letting Rapunzel see there were four belts on the sides of it.

"What about them?"Hook Hand asked, looking back at the pirate ship.

"We're in the clear! They can't follow us through the rocks and they'll have to sail around until they find a harbor!" Yzma smiled.

"Uh, Yzma..." Vladimir pointed towards the ship. A series of lifeboats were rowing away from the ship, heading for the tiny passage through the rocks.

"Unimaginable!" Yzma gaped. "Go, go, go!"

Hook Hand and Ulf climbed into the harnesses on Vlad's back, Yzma set Rapunzel into a harness on his chest as she climbed into the other one.

Vladimir took the rope in his hands and began climbing. The giant's strength carried the five of them up the rope at a speed that no regular person could.

Pascal stuck his head out of Rapunzel's hair for a look and jumped back in terror at how high they were. The chameleon quickly tied himself to Rapunzel's hair for security and held onto her for dear life.

"You are all _crazy!_" Rapunzel cringed, holding Vladimir for dear life as they got higher and higher.

"Shut up." Yzma said. "We're too far along. Only Vladimir's strong enough to climb up this way! They can't follow us."

Meanwhile, at the bottom of the cliff, one of the pirates' longboats pulled up to the tiny shore. Two familiar pirates jumped out of the boat and looked up at the fleeing kidnappers. By then they were at least a third of the way up the rope.

"We can't get up this way; none of us are strong enough!"Attila said, punching the cliff face.

"Well, that kinda screws thing up." Big Nose sighed.

"No it doesn't." The pirate's turned as their leader stepped out of the boat. He dressed all in black; black shirt, black pants, black coat, black gloves, black boots, black hat and a black mask. The mask fit over his head, completely covered his face and leaving only his eyes and mouth were visible.

"Cap'n?" Big Nose asked, confused.

"Take the ship around the horn and meet up with us in Corona City." The Man in Black ordered. "I'll follow them."

"But Cap'n , you can't possibly..." Before Attila even finished his sentence, the Man in Black grabbed the rope and began climbing. Within seconds he was a hundred feet in the air.

"Get going!" The Man in Black yelled back down at his shipmates.

"Aye sir!" The two thugs responded. They climbed back into the long boat and began rowing back to the ship, watching as their captain climbed up the rope

High above, Yzma watched in disbelief as the Man in Black ascended the rope. "Implausible!"

"You sure that word means what you think it means?" Hook Hand asked.

"Shut up! This is bad!" Yzma bit her fist in anxiety. It was bad enough that the Man in Black able to climb up after them, but now he was gaining on them! "Faster!"

"I'm going as fast as I can already." Vladimir said, between breaths.

"You're supposed to be this legendary strongman and that little idiot is gaining on you!" Yzma growled at Vlad's face.

"Well, I'm carrying four people and he isn't." Vlad said. "Uh, not that you _ladies_ are too heavy or anything."

"No excuses!" Yzma looked down again and blanched. The Man in Black had climbed halfway up the rope. "I'm just going to have to get a new giant."

"I should be so lucky." Vladimir groaned as they approached the top of the cliff.

The Man in Black had made it to the last third of the rope as Vladimir finally reached the top of the parapet of the old castle. Yzma clambered out of the harness while Ulf and Hook Hand extracted Rapunzel. Vladimir looked back down the cliff side and saw the Man in Black fast approaching.

"He's really strong for a regular guy." Vlad said, impressed.

"Maybe, but he won't be expecting this!" Yzma said, pulling up her skirt.

"AAAAHH" The Hook Hand and Vladimir hid their eyes and screamed in terror, while Ulf ducked his head into Rapunzel's hair.

"Aha!" Yzma said pulling out a dagger she kept tied to her leg.

"Oh, OK, then." Hook Hand, wiping his brow. Vladimir and Ulf sighed in relief.

"Let's see him follow us now!" Yzma said, using the dagger to cut through the rope.

"No! He'll fall into the sea and drown!" Rapunzel yelled in alarm.

"No he won't." Yzma chided, as she cut section of the rope disappeared over the edge of the tower. "He'll fall onto the rocks and die from having his body shattered into a million pieces! HAHAHA! Let's listen in."

Yzma put a hand to her ear, smiling in anticipation of the Man in Black's final scream as he fell to his demise. However, nearly a minute passed and not a sound was heard. The three thugs looked over the edge of the building, and to their surprise, the Man in Black was clinging to the side of the cliff.

"Man, he's good." Hook Hand elbowed Vladimir in amusement.

"What?" Yzma looked down in "He didn't fall? Incomprehensible!"

"OK, now I _know_ that word doesn't mean what you think it means." Hook Hand said.

"Well thank you, Hook Hand. Clearly my _vocabulary_ is top priority as my whole kidnapping scheme goes down the tubes!" Yzma seethed.

"Why do you three let her talk to you like that?" Rapunzel asked.

"She pays well." Hook Hand shrugged.

"Well I'll be darned! He's still climbing!" Vladimir shook his head and smiled in disbelief. Sure enough, the Man in Black was slowly making his way up the precarious cliff towards them.

"We can't waste anymore time here!" Yzma said. "We have to move ahead with the plan! Hook Hand, finish him off."

"How?" Hook Hand raised an eyebrow.

"I don't know, get a rock or something and try and knock him off!" Yzma scowled.

"Nah, this guy's somethin' special. He deserves a death in battle." Hook Hand said, looking down at the Man in Black. He unscrewed his hook and set his sword in its place. "I'm gonna duel him, _left handed_."

"_We're in a hurry_." Yzma growled through her teeth.

"Then go ahead, I'll catch up." Hook Hand shrugged, giving Yzma a satisfied grin.

"Oh have it your way!" Yzma threw her hands in the air.

"Be careful." Vladimir said, putting his massive hand on Hook Hand's shoulder. "He's gonna be tough."

"Would you hurry up?" Yzma yelled, getting a groan out of the three thugs.

"I'll be fine." Hook Hand said, giving Vlad and Ulf a pat on the back as they left.

Vladimir picked up Rapunzel to carry her away, while Yzma climbed onto his back to ride on his shoulders.

"Let's get going." Yzma said, pulling out a parasol as she gave Vlad's chest a kick.

"Whatever she pays you guys, it's not enough." Rapunzel glared at Yzma.

Hook Hand watched Vladimir and Ulf run from the castle towards the countryside with their boss and the princess. He turned back towards the cliff and began his wait for the Man in Black. If this guy was half as strong and determined as he seemed, Hook knew this would be one of the finest duels in his career.

* * *

><p>Author's Note.<p>

I don't like this chapter very much. Up until now the different plots gave me some leeway to expand things and stuff, but here I think it seemed too much like just a rehash of the movie. Sorry.

I'll try to make up for it by making the next update quick.

Be sure to review, I want to know how I'm doing with this and if anyone has any constructive criticism.

Fans of _Gargoyles_ might recognize the cliffs and castle.


	6. The Battles of Skill and Strength

**Chapter 6: The Battles of Skill and Strength **

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><p>As Hook Hand waited for the mysterious Man in Black to finish his climb, he started practicing his moves and footwork. He parried and thrust at a stone gargoyle with his sword hand. He had a feeling this fight would be one of his most memorable duels ever. If only his opponent would arrive.<p>

After five minutes, he leaned over the wall of the tower to check on the stranger's progress. The Man in Black had climbed less than three feet higher. Hook Hand sighed in frustration. He removed his sword from his arm and reattached his hook.

"HEY!" Hook Hand called down to the Man in Black. The stranger looked up at the noise. "How's it goin'?"

"Look buddy, in case you haven't noticed, I'm clinging to the side of a cliff about a thousand feet in the air because you guys cut the rope I was using." The Man in Black gave Hook Hand a hard stare. "And this isn't exactly easy, so could you be a pal and not distract me, please?"

"Sorry, but you don't think you could climb any faster?" Hook Hand asked.

"Oh, climb _faster_! There's an idea I hadn't thought of!" The Man in Black yelled sarcastically. "You know, if you're so interested, you could throw a rope back down or something."

"I could do that." Hook Hand smiled. "But I don't know if you'll accept my help, since I'm only waiting here to fight you to the death."

"Well, that _does_ make things a little awkward." The Man in Black shook his head. "I guess I'm on my own then."

"Dang it, I hate waiting." Hook Hand muttered under his breath. He called back down. "Hey, I can give you my word as a swordsman not to kill you before you reach the top."

"Thanks, but I've known too many swordsmen who've gone back on their word." The Man in Black replied.

"I can give you my word as a Spaniard." Hook Hand tried again.

"Nah I've known too many..." The Man in Black stared up at Hook Hand. "You don't look like a Spaniard. You don't even have an accent."

"Well, my mom was a Montoya." Hook Hand shrugged.

"Sorry, but you don't exactly spur my confidence." The Man in Black said, turning his attention back to his climbing.

Hook Hand steeled his eyes and took a deep breath. "I swear on the souls of my parents, you will reach the top alive."

The Man in Black stared up at Hook Hand and considered him. After a few seconds, he made his decision. "Alright, throw me the rope."

Hook Hand grabbed the remaining length of rope and tossed one end down to the Man in Black. The Man in Black reached up with one free hand and grabbed the rope. Hook Hand began to haul the Man in Black up the cliff, while The Man in Black pulled himself further up the rope as it went. In less than a minute, he had made it to the top of the castle tower.

"Take my hook!" Hook Hand said, stretching out his metal appendage to the Man in Black. The Man took it and Hook Hand pulled him up onto the tower.

"Thanks." The Man in Black said as he stood up. He leaned against a wall, breathing hard from his climb as he drew his sword.

"No, no. Put that away." Hook Hand waved his hand. "Rest up."

The Man in Black stared at him incredulously. "_What?_"

"It's not much of a duel if one guy's too tired to hold his sword." Hook Hand said, leaning against a parapet.

"Thanks again, then." The Man in Black said, sheathing his sword. He let himself slide down the wall until he sat on the floor of the tower.

"Uh... this is gonna sound weird, but do you have red hair and a twin brother with one eye?" Hook Hand suddenly asked.

"You're right, that _did_ sound weird. Do you always start a conversation with that opener?"The Man in Black was baffled by Hook Hand's question.

"Sorry but... my parents were killed by a pair of red haired twins." Hook Hand explained.

"I see..." The Man in Black mulled over the question. He slowly lifted the back of his mask to reveal of shock of brown hair. When Hook Hand looked away in disappointment, he replaced the mask. "What happened?"

"My father was a sword maker. One day, when I was 15, two men came into his shop. They were red haired twins. They couldn't have been much older than me, but the way they dressed made 'em look like nobles. They said they wanted a special pair of swords made. It took a year, but he completed them." Hook Hand took a deep breath. This story never got any easier to tell. He unsheathed his sword and handed it to the Man in Black. "That was one of them."

The Man in Black eyed the sword. Good grip, fine blade, easy to handle the weight. "It's one of the best I've ever seen."

"It is." Hook Hand sighed. "The twins returned and demanded the swords. When my dad asked for payment, they just laughed and threw single copper at his feet. Turns out they weren't nobles, they were mercenaries. They said to give them the swords or else. My dad wasn't easily intimidated, so the first brother just stabbed him through the heart. My mother screamed, which only made the second brother decide to kill her too."

"I'm so sorry." The Man in Black said softly. "I know how it is, growing up without parents."

"I loved them so much, so I challenged the murders to a duel. I failed, but instead of killing me, they just took my hand." Hook Hand raised his namesake to eye level and let it glitter in the sun. "I was half crazy with pain and grief. I took one brother's sword _and_ his left eye and I ran off, never looking back."

The Man in Black gave a satisfied little smirk.

"Since then, I've dedicated my life to studying sword fighting. I know every technique, every defense, and every trick in the book. Now, when I find those two again, I_ won't_ fail. I'll walk up to them and say 'Hello, my name is Hook Hand Garret. You killed my parents. Prepare to die.'"

"Nice." The Man in Black smiled in approval. "So you've done nothing but study swordplay?"

"Well... more pursuit lately." Hook Hand shrugged. "It's been twenty years and I haven't been able to track them down. So, I just work with Yzma to make ends meet. Turns out revenge don't pay the bills."

"Well, I hope you find 'em someday." The Man in Black said, getting to his feet.

"You ready?" Hook Hand asked as he took his sword back.

"Yep, let's dance, Hooky." The Man in Black grinned confidently as he gave Hook Hand back his sword.

"You seem like a nice guy. Sorry I gotta kill you." Hook Hand smiled, removing his hook and reattaching his sword to his arm.

"You seem like a nice guy. Sorry I won't be killed." The Man in Black smirked, holding his sword at the ready in his right hand.

"We'll see." Hook Hand said.

The two men circled each other, waiting for the other to make a move. With a flash, Hook Hand swiped at the Man in Black, who blocked it. It was on!

And so began one of the great battles of the era, another of which will come later in this story. They crossed swords again and again, each vying for the upper hand on that tower. Hook Hand pressed on the Man in Black, forcing him down the tower stairs, deeper into the old castle.

"So, you're using the Robin Hood defense. Not bad." Hook Hand said as they fought down the stairs.

"Well, it seemed to fit best considering our surroundings." The Man in Black replied as they reached the bottom of the stairs.

"Yeah, but you must know I'll use the Philip technique." Hook Hand drawled as they fought down an old hall.

"Yeah, but I've found the Mulan style cancels out Philip." The Man in Black said, trying to keep up with the larger man's more powerful blows.

"Unless the enemy has studied his Agrabah!" Hook Hand said triumphantly. "...Which I have."

The two fought through the old grand dining hall and came outside on the castle's outer wall. They kept swing their swords, but neither seemed to be able to get the upper hand. Hook Hand smiled like a kid in a candy store.

"You're really good." Hook Hand said as they neared the wall's edge.

"Thanks, I've worked hard to get that way." The Man in Black smirked as he forced Hook Hand towards the wall.

"I'll admit it, you're better than me." Hook Hand grinned.

"Then why are you smiling?" The Man in Black frowned.

"Because I know something you don't." the older swordsman grinned deviously.

"What's that?" The Man in Black asked.

"I'm _not_ left handed." With one swift motion, the sword popped off Hook's left arm and was grabbed by his right hand.

The tide had turned. Hook Hand had gained the upper hand in the fight. The Man in Black couldn't keep up with Hook's moves. The mysterious man found himself being forced to the crumbling edge of the wall. He tried to defend himself, but nothing worked!

"Wow, you're amazing." The Man in Black said as he bumped into the side of the wall.

"I better be after all these years." Hook Hand said, pinning the Man in Black against the wall. The stone started collapsing under his weight.

"Well, then there's something I should tell you!" The Man in Black said desperately. His eyes were wide in fear as he was forced closer and closer to a fall to his death.

"What's that?" Hook Hand raised an eyebrow.

The fear left the Man in Black's face, replaced with a smug grin. "I _am_ left handed!"

Hook was thrown back by the force of the Man in Black's swing. The fight had turned again as the Man in Black switched hands himself. Hook Hand couldn't keep up with the Man in Black's moves. The battle moved into another tower and through the throne room of the castle.

"I knew this was gonna be a fight to remember, but DANG!" Hook Hand said as they moved towards another flight of stairs.

"That about sums it up." The Man in Black said, twirling his blade and knocking Hook Hand's sword out of his hand. The sword clattered on the floor far below, leaving Hook Hand defenseless. The Man in Black pulled back for a final blow and...

**CLANG!**

He looked in shock as Hook Hand blocked the shot with a frying pan.

"Where did you get _that_?" The Man in Black looked shocked at the pan.

"Borrowed it from the princess." Hook Hand said as he turned and ran down the stairs.

"And I'll just take it then." The Man in Black narrowed his eyes.

The Man in Black grabbed a tapestry and swung down at Hook Hand. As Hook Hand reached for his sword, he stopped short as the Man in Black swing past him in a blur. He gaped as the mysterious man landed ten feet away, holding the frying pan in his free hand.

"Who the heck _are_ you?" Hook Hand gaped at him.

"Just a guy who needs to see a girl." The Man in Black twirled the frying pan in his hand.

Something stirred Hook Hand's memory from the conversation on the boat."... The dead Prince Charmin'?"

"What?" The Man in Black frowned in confusion. "Look, we gonna fight or not?"

"OK." Hook Hand shrugged, picking up his sword.

The battle resumed!

The Man in Black and Hook Hand crossed swords again as they fought through to the castle gate. Hook Hand swung his sword with everything he had, but he was fading. He'd used every technique, every defense, and every trick in the book, and the Man in Black was _still_ overpowering him. In his frustration, he swung the sword like an axe, desperate to land a blow. But his carelessness let the Man in Black knock the sword out of his hand. The Man in Black held the point of his sword to Hook Hand's throat.

The battle was over and the Man in Black had won.

"Make it fast." Hook Hand said bleakly as he got on his knees and bowed his head.

The Man in Black scoffed. "Kill a great swordsman who's trying to avenge his parents? I'm not _that_ big a jerk. But since I can't let you follow me..."

**CLANG!**

The Man in Black brought the frying pan down on the back of Hook Hand's head, sending him falling on his face.

"Hope you find those twins, Hooky. If you'll excuse me, I have to see the lady this pan belongs to." The Man in Black said, sheathing his sword and tying the frying pan to his belt. He took off running out the front gate as fast as his legs would carry him. He'd wasted enough time already, he had to catch up and get his princess.

* * *

><p>"That. Was. Awesome!" Zachary said, smiling widely.<p>

"I told you there was stuff you'd like in this book, Zachary." The King smiled.

"Yeah." Zachary said, whipping his runny nose on his sleeve.

"Son, that's what _tissues_ are for." The King sighed in bemusement.

"I don't like this." Rose pouted. She sat with her arms crossed and an unhappy frown on her face.

"Aw, come on, Rose!" Zachary huffed defensively. "That fight was _awesome_!"

Pascal whirred in agreement.

"The fight was cool, but I don't want another _new_ hero." Rose sulked. "Rapunzel loves _Eugene_. _He's_ the one she's supposed to live happily ever after with. But now she's gonna get saved by this dumb old pirate guy and end up with _him _and I don't like it!"

"Hey, pirates are cool!" Zachary defended. "Maybe he'll get her to stop all that mushy stuff and be a cool princess!"

"Hey, she's already cool! She knocked out the Sea Witch!" Rose sniped.

"Uh kids?" The King interjected. "Shall we continue?"

"OK." Zachary smiled eager for more action.

"OK." Rose kept up her pout.

* * *

><p>The other kidnappers stopped for a breather in a mountain path about four miles from the old castle. Vladimir and Ulf sat on one of the surrounding boulders and caught their breath. Rapunzel sat on a smaller rock, tired from struggling to untie herself from her own hair. Pascal nuzzled Rapunzel from his hiding place in her hair, giving whatever comfort he could.<p>

Yzma reclined on a long flat boulder and looked back down at the cliffs and castle for any sign of Hook Hand. Suddenly she saw a lone figure run from the castle gate. She squinted and realized that it wasn't Hook Hand; it was the Man in Black!

"INCONCEIVABLE!" Yzma screamed in shock. Rapunzel, Vladimir and Ulf jumped in surprise at Yzma's outburst.

"What?" Vlad and Ulf ran over to Yzma and got their own look.

"Uh, hello? What's happening?" Rapunzel asked, still stuck on her rock.

"How'd he get past Hook Hand?" Vladimir asked Ulf.

Ulf shrugged in bewilderment.

"Doesn't matter!" Yzma growled. "Vladimir, pick her up."

"OK." The giant pulled Rapunzel to her feet.

"Thank you." Rapunzel said, trying to stay on her feet while tied up in her seemingly endless coils of hair.

"Ulf, you and I will take the bimbo and go." Yzma ordered.

"'Bimbo?'" Rapunzel asked angrily.

Yzma continued without acknowledging Rapunzel. "Vladimir, you stay here and handle that little worm _your_ way."

"Oh, great, my way!" Vladimir said happily.

"Good. Now grab a big rock, hide behind a boulder and when the Man in Black runs by, throw the rock at his head and crush his skull." Yzma ordered.

"What?" Vladimir frowned in disappointment.

"Like I said, finish him off your way!" Yzma turned to Ulf and Rapunzel. "Now let's go!"

Vladimir stood there and stared after Yzma and Ulf as they dragged the princess away. He turned back and looked at the Man in Black running up the hills towards him.

"That's _not_ my way." Vladimir said firmly, as he picked up a rock and hid.

Several minutes passed and the Man in Black finally made it to the path. He moved slowly through the boulders with his sword drawn. There were too many huge boulders, too many places to hide. He moved cautiously, looking for any hint of an ambush.

**CRASH!**

The Man in Black jumped back as a huge rock flew right past his face and smashed into one of the boulders. He took a defense position with his sword at the ready. He watched as a man at least four times his size walked into view. He casually picked up another big rock as he walked towards the Man in Black.

"Before we start, tell me one thing: Did you kill Hook Hand?" Vladimir gruffly asked.

"No, I didn't." The Man in Black shook his head. "He'll have a couple cuts and bruises, but he's still alive."

"Good. I needed to know before I made up my mind." Vladimir smiled brightly. He pointed to the dent in the boulder where the rock smashed. "I didn't _have_ to miss you like that, you know."

"I believe you." The Man in Black said, trying to hide his fear. "I don't suppose you'd let me go on since I didn't kill your friend?"

"Sorry, can't do that." Vladimir shook his head.

"Alright, so what now?" The Man in Black asked.

"Now, we fight _my_ way: the sportsman's way. No weapons, no tricks, and no outside help. We just let our fists do the talking and the better man wins." Vladimir said seriously.

"So, I put down my sword, you put away that rock and we try and kill each other like civilized gentlemen?" The Man in Black asked sarcastically.

"Hey, it's not my first choice either." Vladimir said. "When you're as big as me, it's hard to find a job besides muscle work. Besides, if I wanted to, I could just throw a rock and squish you now."

"You make a convincing argument." The Man in Black conceded, sticking his sword into the ground and setting the frying pan next to it. "Though, I think you have an edge on me as far as strength."

"It's not my fault I'm bigger and stronger than everyone else. I don't even exercise or lift weights." Vlad said, tossing the rock away. "Though I did try that grapefruit diet once."

"So, should we start?" The Man in Black asked, trying to strategize how to fight hand to hand with a giant.

"Just a minute." Vladimir reached into his pouch and pulled out his two ceramic unicorns. He set them on a nearby boulder so they would be safe from the fighting. He turned back and saw the Man in Black tilting his head at him. "What?"

"Nothing, just... didn't figure you for the unicorn type." The Man in Black fought to keep from laughing.

"We all have our hobbies." Vladimir shrugged. "Let's begin."

The two men stared each other down as they prepared to battle to death. The Man in Black let out a low growl as he charged at Vladimir and... slammed into him like he ran into a brick wall.

"That was a _practice_ lunge." The Man in Black said, trying to cover his embarrassment.

"OK. Try again." Vlad said indulgently.

The Man in Black hyped himself up and ran up to Vladimir again. This time, he reached around the giant's body in an attempted bear hug take down. It was like trying to pull down a redwood tree.

"You're gonna be... in so much trouble... when I get... my second wind!" The Man in Black strained as he tried in vain to throw the larger man down.

"I'm sure." Vladimir said, humming casually.

The Man in Black jumped back and tried a new approach. He decided to throw a few well placed punches into Vladimir's chest He pulled back and threw the punch with all his might.

"ARGH!" The Man in Black yelled in pain as he held his throbbing hand. It was like punching solid stone. He hissed in pain as he shook his injured hand. The Man in Black sighed and glared at Vlad in frustration. "Did that hurt _at all_?"

"A little bit." Vladimir nodded.

"Are you just messing with me?" The Man in Black asked angrily.

"No, I just want you to feel you gave it your best shot. I don't want you to die embarrassed." Vladimir said sympathetically.

"Look, I appreciate you taking my ego into account, but don't patronize me." The Man in Black bristled.

"All right." Vladimir shrugged and threw a relatively weak punch that sent Man in Black flying backwards into a boulder.

"OK, maybe you can patronize me a _little_ bit." The Man in Black said in a daze. Vladimir lunged at him, but he rolled out of the way before he connected with another blow. Vlad lunged again, but the Man in Black dodged again. Vladimir chased after the Man in Black towards a large boulder, but the Man in Black just ran up the side of the boulder, ending in a back flip landing behind Vladimir.

"You're _very_ quick on your feet." Vlad was impressed by the man's agility.

"You have to be in my line of work." The Man in Black said, ducking a punch. "Especially if you're fighting a giant."

"Why are you wearing a mask?" Vladimir asked, throwing another punch. "Were you burned? Do you have a zit?"

"No, it's just comfortable. Though, sometimes I feel bad for denying the world a look at my handsome face." The Man in Black said, jumping out of the way of Vlad's latest lunge.

While Vlad was distracted, the Man in Black leaped onto his back and wrapped his arms in a choke hold around the giant's neck. The larger man shook his body, trying to throw his attacker off, but the Man in Black just tightened his grip and wrapped his legs around his chest, adding to the pressure.

"I... I think I know why... you're giving me so much trouble." Vladimir gasped as the Man in Black's hold got tighter.

"Why's that?" The Man in Black asked, trying to keep the man's massive hands from prying his arms from his throat.

"It's been... too long... since I only... had to fight... one guy." Vladimir said, fighting for each breath.

"You haven't fought anybody in a long time?" This was unexpected news to the Man in Black.

"No, I... I fight groups... I fight gangs... do prize fights... for charities... stuff like that." Vladimir strained. The giant was desperate, he was on the verge of passing out. He turned his back to a nearby boulder and ran into it, slamming the Man in Black between the rock and him.

"Why is that any..." The Man in Black groaned as he was slammed against the boulder again. "UGH! ..._Different_?"

"You don't use... the same moves... you use fighting a dozen guys... when you only... have to fight... one." Vladimir fell onto the ground unconscious. The Man in Black scrambled to his feet and grabbed his sword and frying pan.

"Enjoy your nap, big fella." The Man in Black smirked. He turned and caught sight of the giant's little ceramics on the boulder. "And dream of large unicorns."

The Man in Black ran off down the mountain path to catch up with the remaining kidnappers. He made it to the base of the mountain path within twenty minutes. He stopped as he made it to the base and saw two figures running over the hills, one of which sported a long trail of blonde hair.

"Almost there!" The Man in Black said triumphantly. He made to run after them, when suddenly Ulf the mime jumped out of a nearby bush!

"Oh _come on_!" The Man in Black snapped in frustration.

Ulf looked ready to cause damage. With a flurry, the mime began to show up a series of martial arts moves. The Man in Black sighed, it wasn't bad enough he faced a master swordsman and a giant, but now he had to fight a karate mime?

"That's it." The Man in Black glared at Ulf and picked up the frying pan. He reeled back and threw the pan right at Ulf, hitting him right between the eyes. The mime was knocked flat on his back. The Man in Black went up to the unconscious mime and grabbed the frying pan. "Who knew this old thing would be so useful?"

The Man in Black bolted down the hills as fast as he could. He'd made it past the three larger men, now all that stood between him and taking Rapunzel was a few hills and an old lady. He grinned in anticipation as he began the final leg of the chase.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's note.<strong>

We're getting closer to the chapter you've all been waiting for!

I tried, but I couldn't figure out how to write a funny mime battle with Ulf. So, I followed the example of Indy just shooting the swordsman in _Raiders of the Lost Ark_.

True story. Years back, I was at my friend's house during a storm, and his little sister was freaked out by the lightning and thunder. So, my friend turned on _The Princess Bride_ to take her mind of it. Her reaction to the Man in Black in the movie was _exactly_ the way I wrote Rose reacting in this chapter. She was _so_ mad when she thought Buttercup was going to end up with the Man in Black instead of Westley! It was so adorably hilarious, I had to include it in this story.

And remember. If you read and don't review, Rapunzel and Flynn's dream won't come true.


	7. The Battle of Wits

**Chapter 7: A Battle of Wits**

* * *

><p>The Man in Black ran up the hill on the trail of Yzma and Rapunzel. His long coat flapped in the wind as he ran. He grasped his sword in his left hand, ready for whatever challenge the last kidnapper would present. He held his hat on his head as the wind picked up.<p>

He made it to the top of the hill and froze. Up ahead, Yzma had set up a little picnic. There was a basket of apples, a bottle of wine and two cups resting on top of a short flat boulder. He didn't know where Yzma got those things, and he really wasn't interested in finding out. The old woman sat on a log behind the boulder, holding her knife. Rapunzel sat next to her, still tied up with her own hair and a gag was stuffed in her mouth.

"So, it's down to you and me, big guy." Yzma smiled evilly. The Man in Black began walking towards the two ladies, but stopped short as Yzma put her knife near Rapunzel's throat. "Ah, ah, ah! I wouldn't come any closer."

"Look, miss... extremely old lady," The Man in Black began in his most suave sounding voice. "I know you're busy, and I'm sure you're set to make a lot of money from this scheme, but I'm willing to offer you a deal."

"Not gonna happen. I'm not letting some common pirate to steal the princess that I went through all the trouble to kidnap." Yzma said stubbornly.

"Listen, sweetheart," The Man in Black glared at the old woman. "I know a few things about her that you don't, and the princess is worth a lot more alive."

Rapunzel gasped through her gag. _Her hair!_ He must know about her hair! How did he know? She and her mother had been so careful guarding the secret!

"I'm afraid I disagree. My orders were very clear that the princess has to die. We aren't making any deals, and if you really want her alive, you better stop walking." Yzma shrugged. Rapunzel gawked at the old woman in fear. She couldn't die! Not like this! She winced as the cold steel of the knife touched her neck.

"Well, then I hope you realize that death is pretty _contagious_, and if you kill her, I might just make sure you catch your death, too." The Man in Black glared at the old woman.

"Maybe, but then neither of us gets what we want. I won't get paid since I'll be dead, and you won't have a princess to ransom off." Yzma said shrewdly.

"Well, then I guess we're kinda stuck." The Man in Black sighed, frustrated.

"Seems that way." Yzma shrugged. "I'm in no shape to take you with brute force, and you're no match for my evil genius."

"Oh, really?" The Man in Black raised an eyebrow beneath his mask. "You're that smart?"

"Let me put it this way: ever hear of Disney? Lassiter? Keane?"

"Yeah."

"Morons." Yzma smiled smugly.

"Well, I guess you'd know a lot since you've been around since the dawn of time." The Man in Black chuckled as Yzma growled. "Well then, there's only one way to settle this: a battle of wits."

"You're kidding, right? You want a battle of wits for the princess against _me_?" Yzma asked skeptically.

"Unless you think you're afraid you'll get outsmarted by a 'common pirate.'" The Man in Black said, indifferently.

"Alright, fine." Yzma said, putting away her knife. "Let's do it."

"Fine." The Man in Black smiled as he walked up to the boulder and sat on a log across from Yzma.

Rapunzel shivered. How could this get any worse? If Yzma got her way, she'd kill her. If the Man in Black got his way, he'd probably sell her into slavery for her hair. She never should have run away. _Mother was right,_ she thought. _The world was a dark and cruel place._

The Man in Black reached for the bottle of wine and the two cups. Ever so slowly, he pulled the cork and filled both glasses. He replaced the cork in the bottle and sat it back in front of Yzma with a hard, defiant clank on the boulder. All the while, the Man in Black stared into Yzma's eyes with deadly intensity. He picked up both glasses of wine, smiling deviously at Yzma and then... drank both glasses in one gulp each.

"Ah, much better!" The Man in Black said, putting the empty glasses back. He pulled his hat off and used it to fan himself. "Cliff climbing, sword fighting, wrestling, and all that running really make a guy thirsty."

"Can we please GET ON WITH IT?" Yzma snarled.

"Alright, alright! Geez, lady." The Man in Black said, motioning for Yzma to calm down. He reached into his coat and pulled out a small bottle of green liquid about the size of his index finger. "Care to guess what this is?"

"Well, I know this is a long shot, but I'm going to guess poison." Yzma said, sarcastically.

"Not just any poison, this is Sleeping Death. The same stuff that was in Snow White's poisoned apple. Only enough here for one dose. It's odorless, tasteless, and absorbs into food on contact. Once taken, the victim falls into an endless deathlike sleep." The Man in Black explained.

"Yes, yes, I know all that. Can we get on with it?" Yzma sighed impatiently.

The Man in Black smiled and pulled two apples out of the picnic basket. Still smiling he turned his back to the old woman and the captive princess, hiding the apples from sight. After a moment, he turned back, smiling smugly. He held up the apples, casually juggling them one handed before placing one on the table in front of Yzma and the other in front of himself.

"OK, here's the battle of wits: you have to figure out which one is the poisoned apple. When you decide, you take the apple you think is safe and I take the other one. We each take a bite and see which of us leaves with the princess and which of us takes a really long nap." The Man in Black explained.

"That's it?" Yzma raised an eyebrow. "But it's so simple! All I have to do is figure out what I know about you. Would you be more likely to put the poison in your own apple or mine?"

"So... what do you know about little old _moi_?" The Man in Black asked, smiling smugly as he crossed his arms.

"Well, if you were smart, you would have put the poison in _your_ apple, because only a brainless fool would take something offered by somebody who obviously wants her dead." Yzma reasoned. "Well, my daddy didn't raise his girl to be fool, so I can't choose your apple.

"However, you must have figured that I'm not some bimbo like the princess here," Yzma went on, earning an offended grunt from Rapunzel. "You would've counted on me realizing that, so you would have put the poison in my apple to throw me off. Therefore, I can't choose my own apple."

"So, you've decided?" The Man in Black asked, raising an eyebrow.

"No, because Sleeping Death is not a common poison. It's only brewed by the most evil of witches and wizards. And those kinds of villains are used to having people not trust them, as you are not trusted by me. So I can clearly not choose the apple in front of you."

"Uh huh." The Man in Black said, leaning forward.

"However..." Yzma continued, earning a sigh from the Man in Black. "You must have figured that I would know that, so I clearly can't choose the apple in front of me."

"OK, now you're just stalling." The Man in Black scoffed.

"Oh, I bet you'd like to _believe_ that, wouldn't you?" Yzma laughed. "Let's see now. You beat my giant strong man, which means you are very strong and may have been counting on your strength to fend off the poison, so I can't choose your apple! But, you also beat my swordsman, which means you studied and therefore must have learned that human beings can die and would want to keep the poison as far away from yourself as possible! This means I can't choose the apple in front of me. HOWEVER, you also faced down my mime, which means you are not easily scared by mind numbing torture, so your lack of fear may have made you put the poison in your own apple, so I can't choose that apple in front of you! Then again, all those things could just be a bluff, so I can't choose this apple here!"

The Man in Black raised an eyebrow. "So have you decided or..."

"_On the other hand_..." Yzma interrupted.

"I guess not." The Man in Black sighed. By this time, even Rapunzel was rolling her eyes in impatience.

"Some accounts of the Sleeping Death say that only a kiss from a prince or a princess can break the spell. So, you could be banking on the princess to struggle and kiss you just to have someone to help her escape. Therefore, I can't choose the apple in front of you!

"Judging by your black hat, coat, mask, and your arrival on a pirate ship, you are obviously a pirate! And given what I've heard about pirates' lapses of stupidity for comic relief and your needlessly complicated and convoluted dealings in the Caribbean, you probably meant to put the poisoned apple in front of you, but are too drunk on rum and put the apples in the wrong places, so I can clearly not choose my apple!

"However, you're moderately good looking and it sounds like you're voiced by a young male actor. Therefore, it's likely you are popular with the female demographic, so you could be trusting on the combined willpower of all your fangirls to cancel out the poison's effects, so I can't choose _your_ apple!"

The Man in Black just stared, bewildered by the old woman's ramblings. "OK, are you trying to get me to give something away or are you just senile?"

"HA! You've already given _everything_ away!" Yzma laughed triumphantly. "I know exactly which apple is poisoned!"

"OK..." The Man in Black said, shrugging off the confusion. "Take your pick."

"I will and I choose... Wow! A flying elephant!" Yzma said, pointing over the Man in Black's shoulder. The second the mystery man turned, Yzma grabbed the apples and switched their places on the table. Rapunzel squealed through her gag, but Yzma just elbowed her in the ribs.

"Would you look at that?" The Man in Black said in amazement. Yzma and Rapunzel looked up and their eyes widened. Sure enough, flanked by a group of crows was a small elephant with the largest ears you've ever seen soaring across the sky. "Well, now I've seen everything."

"Me too..." Yzma said in shock.

"So... you made your choice?" The Man in Black asked.

"Huh? Oh! Yes!" Yzma said, remembering the matter at hand. "Uh, I'll take my apple and you take yours."

"You sure?" The Man in Black asked.

"Positive!" Yzma said, picking up her apple.

"Well, all right." The Man in Black picked up his apple and raised it to his mouth. "On three. One..."

"Two..."Yzma smiled evilly as she held her apple up to her own mouth.

"Three!" They finished together.

_CRUNCH!_

The two of them bit into their apples, never taking their eyes off each other as they chewed. They continued the staring contest until they swallowed their apple. Rapunzel stared wide eyed at her would-be kidnappers waiting for the outcome.

The Man in Black smiled smugly at Yzma. "You guessed wrong."

"That's what _you_ think! I switched the apples when your back was turned!" Yzma laughed triumphantly.

The Man in Black's face went white as a sheet. "What?"

"That's right!" Yzma said viciously. "Which means you should be feeling a bit sleepy right about..."

The Man in Black began to violently shake. He tried to steady himself on the boulder, but he just fell hard onto the ground. He tried in vain to sit up again, but in seconds, his eyes closed and he went totally still.

"NHHH!" Rapunzel screamed through her gag.

"Yeah, baby!" Yzma cheered. She reached over and poured herself a glass of wine as her congratulatory drink. "You, my poor, dumb bandit fell for one of the worst mistakes in the universe! The most famous is never forget to invite Maleficent to a birthday party, but this one's a great runner up: Never go in against an evil alchemist with magic potions! HAHAHAHA!"

Rapunzel stared at the Man in Black's still body in horror as Yzma laughed.

"Here's to you, you moron!" Yzma downed her glass in one gulp and unsheathed her dagger. "Now then, where we, princess?"

Rapunzel squealed through the gag as Yzma approached her. "Nhhh! Nhhh plthh!"

Yzma scoffed in irritation. "Oh relax! It'll only hurt a lot and then..."

**POOF!**

Rapunzel fell back in shock as a flash of pink smoke enveloped Yzma. When the smoke cleared, the old woman was gone and in her place was... a tiny grey kitten.

"You know, lady, you really shouldn't drink on the job." Rapunzel and the kitten watched in shock as the Man in Black stood up and smiled playfully. "I mean, anything could happen! You could get lost, you could let your victim get away, or maybe you could get turned into a cat!"

"You big stupid imbecile!" The kitten cried in a high squeaky voice. "Is _that_ my voice? Is that _my_ voice?"

"Yes, yes it is." The Man in Black deadpanned. He went over to the Rapunzel and pulled the gag out of her mouth.

"But... But you... And she... How did... And the poison apple?" Rapunzel asked, trying to make sense of what she had just seen.

"Actually, that was a bluff. Neither apple was poisoned." The Man in Black grinned as Yzma the kitten stared in astonishment. "When I poured myself a drink, I slipped a potion into the wine bottle. The 'battle of wits' was just a distraction until the kitten here decided to take a drink."

"You rotten little worm!" The tiny Yzma cat jumped up onto the Man in Black's head.

"OW! HEY! OW!" The Man in Black yelped as Yzma scratched at his head with her new claws. He finally got a hold of her tail and tossed her to the ground. The cat growled and ran back at him. She jumped in the air, claws at the ready. The Man in Black grabbed the frying pan and swung it as Yzma flew at him. The impact of the pan sent the kidnapper turned cat flying to the ground with a huge lump on her head.

"Kronk... I never liked... your spinach puffs." The dazed Yzma moaned, before falling unconscious. The Man in Black then picked up the cat and stuffed her onto a high branch in a nearby tree.

"And _that_ is why I'm not a cat person." The Man in Black turned to Rapunzel. "Anyhow, what say we get outta here?"

"What... who...who are you?" Rapunzel asked.

"Nobody important. I'll be your _new_ kidnapper for today." The Man in Black grinned.

"I'm not going anywhere with you!" Rapunzel angrily said.

"Uh, seeing as you're still tied up, I don't think you have much choice, Goldilocks." The Man in Black smirked.

"The name is Rapunzel!" The angry princess snapped.

"Gesundheit." The Man in Black said automatically.

"What?" Rapunzel felt a strange sense of déjà vu. Why did that response ring a bell?

"Uh, nothing." The Man in Black said, putting a hand on her shoulder. "Look, princess, my ship's heading to meet us down the coast. We've got a least a day's walk to get there, and we're _going_ to get there one way or another."

"I'm not going anywhere! HELP! SOMEBODY HELP! HE-" Rapunzel started screaming for help, only for the Man in Black to replace the gag in her mouth. She screamed through her gag at him.

"All right, we'll do it the hard way." The Man in Black shrugged. He was about to pull her to her feet when a flash of green scampered up his arm. Pascal ran to his shoulder and shot his tongue straight into the Man in Black's ear. "AH!"

"Ggghh Phhsshllhh!" Rapunzel gave a muffled cheer.

The Man in Black grabbed the chameleon and tied him in a loose length of hair.

"Alright, Blondie, time to go." The Man in Black suddenly hoisted Rapunzel onto his shoulder. She screamed and cursed at the Man in Black through the gag. She kicked and squirmed in his grasp as he began jogging down the hill. "

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, back at the abandoned Wyvern castle, a battalion of soldiers was searching the place. Prince Walter had brought his best guards, as well as a team of Countess Gothel's men, including her footmen, the Stabbington Brothers.<p>

"There was a battle here. Both men were master swordsmen." Prince Walter examined footprints in the dirt in the courtyard. "They both ran off towards the hills."

The Stabbington Brothers came up to the prince after searching.

"Your Highness," Tyrone Stabbington said. "We've found no sign of the princess."

"We're close. I know it." Walter said, looking around the courtyard. Suddenly, Maximus galloped up to the prince and neighed in excitement. "What is it, Maximus?"

Maximus walked up and lifted a hoof to the prince. A strand of hair was tangled on his hoof. It was too long to be anyone else's hair but Rapunzel's.

"Good work, Maximus. Can you follow the scent?" The prince asked. Maximus nodded resolutely. "Good boy!"

"We're on the right track?" Tyrone Stabbington asked.

"We're on the right track!" Walter said, patting the horse on the snout. "MEN! WE'VE PICKED UP THE TRAIL! MOVE OUT!"

The search party galloped off on the trail of the kidnappers and their lost princess.

* * *

><p>Yzma awoke on the tree branch and rubbed her aching head.<p>

"Oooohh... what happened?" Yzma asked, trying to get her bearings. She saw her cat paws and remembered. She was in a high branch of a tall tree and she didn't know how to get down. She was a cat stuck in a tree and the Man in Black had run off with _her_ kidnapped princess. "Drat!"

"Yzma!" The cat looked around at the shout. To her surprise, Hook Hand, Vladimir and Ulf came running up the hill towards her.

"Who said that?" Hook Hand asked, looking around for the source of the mysterious squeaky voice.

"Up here, morons!" Yzma shouted. The three large men looked up and saw the tiny purple cat. "

The three of them stared at her in silence before Vladimir spoke up. "Uh, are you guys are seeing a talking cat too?"

"It's me, Yzma, you idiots!" the cat yelled.

"How do we know for sure?" Hook Hand asked.

"Because I said so, you incompetent, empty headed idiot!" Yzma meowed furiously.

"Yep, it's her." The three men agreed. Vladimir went over and picked Yzma up out of the tree.

"Now let's go! That pirate ran off with the princess! If we don't get her back, there won't be a war and we don't get paid!" She yelled, taking a seat atop Vladimir's helmet. The three large men took off down the hills to find the mysterious Man in Black and steal back their kidnapped princess.

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><p><strong>Author's note:<strong>

Thanks to Dinosaur Barbecue gave me permission to pick a couple touches from his one shot.**  
><strong>

WOOOO! 54 reviews! This is now my most reviewed story. Thanks to all you guys who've stuck with this! You're awesome!

Hope you guys will continue to stay with it, cause I do believe next chapter's the one you've all been waiting for!


	8. A Shocking Reunion

**Chapter 8: A Shocking Reunion**

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><p>The endless plains of Corona stretched out as far as the eye could see. The only movement was a stray flock of birds and a lone black clad figure walking across the plains. The Man in Black had been walking for over an hour with the bound princess slung over his shoulder. It had not been a pleasant trip. Rapunzel had been kicking, squirming and yelling through her gag every step of the way.<p>

"You know, Blondie, I'm beginning to think you don't enjoy my company. Is that right?" The Man in Black sarcastically observed. He was answered by a muffled growl from Rapunzel. "Oh, you find me irresistible?"

Rapunzel growled in outrage.

"Oh, really? The most gorgeous man you've ever seen? Oh, flattery won't get you anywhere, Princess." The Man in Black Laughed.

Rapunzel responded with a knee to his ribs.

"Ooh!" The Man in Black gasped in pain. "OK, you know what? I think we should take a rest."

The Man in Black saw a patch of rocks nearby. They stuck out like a huge set of sores on the pristine landscape. He looked around and saw that they now stood at the top of a rather steep hill. Still, as long as they kept their distance, they should be fine. He sat his prisoner down on a nearby rock and sat himself on the boulder across from her.

"So, Goldilocks, how you doin'?" The Man in Black gave Rapunzel a cheeky grin.

She silently rolled her eyes and glared at him.

"All right, all right. I'll take the gag out if you promise not to scream." The Man in Black relented.

Rapunzel sighed and nodded in agreement. The Man in Black slowly undid the gag and the girl gasped, happy to be able to speak again.

"I hate that thing." Rapunzel glared at him. She just looked away from her captor and stared off in the distance.

"Huh, you actually kept your promise." The Man in Black sounded totally surprised.

"When I make a promise, I _never_ break that promise. Ever." Rapunzel said, her tone deadly serious.

"Uh huh, sure." The Man in Black said skeptically.

"It's true." Rapunzel said angrily. "And I promise, if you let me go, I'll get whatever you want for ransom."

"Nah, I think I'll hold onto ya a little while longer." The Man in Black grinned. "You're worth more to me than some ransom demand."

Rapunzel gulped. _He knew_. He had to know about her hair. She had to get away from him. She slowly began undoing the knots in her hair. If she was lucky, she would be mostly untied before he noticed.

"I was offering you a fair chance. When Prince Walter finds out what happened, he'll come after me and then you'll be in trouble!" Rapunzel threatened.

"Oh, so you're betting on your true love to save you?" The Man in Black asked bitterly.

"He's _not_ my true love, but he'll still make you sorry for kidnapping me!" Rapunzel snapped.

"You don't love your fiancé?" The Man in Black faced her with a strange air of hope. "Then, why marry him?"

"It's the law of the land that the prince chooses anyone he wants." Rapunzel explained morosely.

"And he chose you?" He asked. He seemed intrigued. "So, what? He saw you and said you'd be married in the morning?"

"Something like that, yeah." She sighed ruefully.

"Was he your first boyfriend?" The Man in Black asked, trying desperately to sound indifferent.

"No, there was... there was someone else." She whispered sadly.

"Another prince?" The Man in Black leaned closer to her.

"No, a stable boy. Eyes and hair brown as the fresh earth. His name was Eugene." She recounted, her heart sinking.

"Oh, and what happened to him? Dumped him when you found out the prince wanted you?"

"NO!" Rapunzel yelled forcefully. "He... he died."

"Did he?" The Man in Black asked with a noticeable cynical edge.

"Yes! He was working on a ship to earn enough to be my suitor and my mother gave me the news that it was attacked by the Dread Pirate Flynn Rider." Rapunzel sadly remembered.

"Oh! _Oh_... Oh bother." The Man in Black suddenly sounded sheepish. "Well, this... this is kind of embarrassing."

"What?" Rapunzel asked.

"Well, Blondie, the thing is... I'm a little surprised you haven't figured it out yet." The Man in Black laughed.

"Figured out what?" she asked with growing anxiety.

"Well, sweetheart, _I'm_ the Dread Pirate Flynn Rider." The Man in Black said, recieving a horrified look from Rapunzel. He gave her his cheekiest grin and said, "Hi. How's your day goin'?

Rapunzel stared at him in disbelief, but her shock was instantly replaced by rage. She lunged at him in uncontrolled fury, but forgot that she was still tied up and landed on her face. Flynn went picked her up, but she grabbed, scratched and bit at his hands, making him jump back.

"WHOA! Watch it!" Flynn said as he sat her down on the boulder and jumped away.

"I'LL KILL YOU! I'll kill you!" Rapunzel screeched.

"Hey, whoa there!" Flynn was more than a little scared by her reaction.

"You killed the man I loved!" Rapunzel growled through the tears forming in her eyes. She had undone all the hair that held her. "WHY?"

"Sorry, Goldilocks, but I can't make exceptions on my rule of not taking prisoners." Flynn shrugged apologetically.

"You ruined everything! We were going to be together when he got back! We would've been..." Rapunzel's anger melted into despair. She mentally berated herself for letting Eugene's murderer see her cry. "And you took him away from me."

"I see..." Flynn said thoughtfully as he began circling the boulder. "If it helps, he actually died with dignity, which is more than I can say for most people. No crying, begging, or offers to pay me to let him go. He just said, 'Please. I need to live.' It was weird. Usually, people would say that like 'PLEASE! PLEASE! I WANNA LIVE!' But this guy? Calmest voice you ever heard."

From somewhere in Rapunzel's hair, Pascal gave the pirate a furious hiss.

Flynn glanced at Rapunzel and noticed she had covered her face with her hands and her shoulders were shaking. "Does it bother you to hear this?"

"What difference does it make now?" Rapunzel bit out.

"Right... Well, anyway, I got curious and asked him what was so dang important. He says to me 'I'm in love with a gorgeous girl with eyes like emeralds and the longest golden hair you've ever seen. I promised her that we would see each other again and that one day I would take her to see the floating lights on her birthday.' Maybe I'm way off base, but I'm guessing he meant you, Blondie." Flynn stopped right in front of her and spoke in a low, almost comforting tone.

Rapunzel's head shot up at the last word. Flynn jumped back at the unadulterated rage in the young girl's eyes. "What did you say?"

"Uh, I just said that I assume he was talking about you, Blondie..." Flynn said carefully.

"DON'T YOU _DARE_ CALL ME THAT!"

"Whoa! Whoa, there Blondie!" Flynn backed away as the irate princess leapt to her feet and began marching toward him.

"SHUT UP! _Eugene_ called me 'Blondie.' You don't get to use that nickname! You don't deserve to _live_ after what you did to him!" Rapunzel shouted, grabbing the frying pan from the ground. The dread pirate's eyes widened in fear as Rapunzel advanced on him, backing him to the edge of the hill. He backed up and almost fell as he stepped into a coil of Rapunzel's hair.

"Uh, listen Blon-uh I mean Rapunzel..." Flynn said nervously, realizing she had him cornered. "Before you go and do something we'll both regret, especially _me_, there's something I-"

"You killed my true love and you can die too for all I care!" Rapunzel cried, swinging the frying pan into Flynn's face. The pirate fell backwards and began rolling down the hill. Rapunzel fought to regain her breath when she suddenly noticed a golden tether around Flynn's leg. She looked over and saw her yards of hair uncoil and be pulled after Flynn. "Oh no-AAAUGH!"

Rapunzel was yanked over the edge and tumbled down the hill after the pirate. If anyone had been there to witness it, they would have seen the peculiar sight of an infamous pirate attached to a princess holding a frying pan as they rolled down a cliff wrapped up in the most absurdly long blonde hair anyone had ever seen.

At last, they reached the bottom of the hill, hopelessly tangled up in Rapunzel's hair. The young girl freed herself from her hair and stomped over to the still body of the man who killed her true love. She heaved the unconscious pirate onto his back, took away his sword and prepared for when he woke up.

* * *

><p>"Yay! Go Rapunzel!" Rose cheered. "Teach him a lesson!"<p>

"Shhh! I wanna hear what happens next!" Zachary shushed.

* * *

><p>Flynn Rider's eyes twitched as he regained consciousness. He looked around to get his bearings when he felt a strange sensation. He looked to his left and saw Pascal with his tongue lodged his ear.<p>

"Would you _stop_ that?" The pirate yelped, sending the lizard flying a few feet away.

He made to sit up only to find he couldn't move his arms or legs. He looked down and saw that he was now tied up in Rapunzel's hair.

"Struggling is pointless." Flynn looked up and saw Rapunzel walk into view. She held his sword in one hand and held the frying pan in the other. "I'm not afraid of you. And you are _not_ getting away from me."

"Listen, Blondie..." Flynn began. Before he could get the next word out, she had pointed his sword right at his face. "No, no, no! Not the nose!"

"My name is _Rapunzel_ and you will address me as such." She said deliberately. "Now, who told you?"

"Who told me what, that you got kidnapped?" Flynn asked. "I had two guys scouting the forest when the old lady and her men took you and they got back to me and..."

"No! Tell me what you want with my hair?" Rapunzel interrupted.

"What?" Flynn stared dumbly at her.

"Do you want to cut it? Sell it?" Rapunzel went on, circling his prone body.

"_No!_ The only thing I want to do with your hair is get out of it, _literally_!" Flynn said.

"You... don't want my hair?" She asked.

"Did those kidnappers hit you in the head or something? Why on Earth would I want your hair?" He looked at her like she'd lost her mind.

"Hmmm." She stared down at him in confusion. Suddenly, Pascal ran down the length of Rapunzel's arm and glared at Flynn. The man and the lizard locked eyes, the reptile seeming to search the man's eyes for a sign he was lying. After a minute, Pascal ran back up to her shoulder.

Flynn licked his dry lips and began to talk. "Look, I know I'm not your favorite person in the world right now, but..."

"Quiet!" Rapunzel snapped. "You've sailed the seas around this country for years, right?"

"Uh, yeah." He answered.

"Well, tomorrow is the first day of summer. Do you know what that means?" She asked.

"Uh..." He just stared at her.

"You said Eugene told you about the floating lights on my birthday. _Tomorrow_ is my birthday. Which means those floating lights will appear. And from the information I've got, those lights come from this kingdom." Rapunzel glared down at him and slowly said, "Your life depends on the answer to this next question: do you know what those floating lights are?"

Flynn stared up at her in fear."Yes! Yes I do!"

Rapunzel breath caught in her throat. She'd been dreaming about them for so long, gotten a few tidbits of information, but now she had someone who could tell her what the floating lights were.

"And what are they?" She asked, her voice quivered in anticipation.

"Lanterns. Special paper lanterns that can float on air." Flynn said. "Years ago, the princess of Corona disappeared, and every year they release the lanterns into the sky in hope that she'll return someday."

"Lanterns..." Rapunzel stared at off into the distance, her eyes wide as saucers. "I knew it... I knew they were real..."

"Uh, Princess?" Flynn asked, breaking the spell she was under. She looked down at him and her expression changed from one of awe to one of determination.

"All right, _Flynn Rider_, I'm prepared to offer you a deal." She said haughtily.

"A deal?" He asked incredulously.

"Yes. If the world wasn't a dark, cruel, horrible place, I would be here with Eugene going to see those lanterns. As it is, I'll have to settle for you." Rapunzel said curtly.

"Hey!" Flynn objected.

"Listen! I'm not your prisoner anymore. _You_ are now _my_ prisoner. You are going to take me to wherever they release those lanterns from tomorrow. Once that happens, I will let you go." Rapunzel's voice didn't give much room for argument. "That is my deal."

"And if I say no?" Flynn asked, half in disbelief at her daring and half actually curious what she'd do.

"I'll take your mask. And from here on out, I'll tell everyone we pass that you're the Dread Pirate Flynn Rider. Everyone will know what you look like and you'll be caught before long." Rapunzel reasoned.

"Yeah, good luck with that." Flynn rolled his eyes. "You haven't seen how bad the wanted posters are in this place. They just can't get the nose right."

"Then I _will_ kill you." Rapunzel sad, grabbing the sword and raising it.

"You kill me, you won't have anyone to take you to the lanterns." Flynn argued.

Rapunzel's face fell when he realized he was right. She let out a frustrated groan and stomped a short distance away.

"I got an idea, how about you let me go and I'll let _you_ go and we both get what we want." Flynn suggested.

"You really think I'm stupid enough to go wondering around this awful place by myself?" Rapunzel practically screamed.

"Well, you knocked out the most wanted pirate in the world, I'd say you're good to go." Flynn shrugged.

Rapunzel used a length of hair to yank the pirate to a sitting position.

"Something brought us here, Flynn Rider." Rapunzel declared angrily. "Call it what you will; fate, destiny..."

"A pirate ship..." Flynn deadpanned.

"But here we are, and I have made the decision to go ahead with things anyway..." Rapunzel continued, pulling him to his feet, supported only by her grip on the hair that held him.

"A horrible decision, really." Flynn interjected again.

"_Because you owe me and I am going to settle this score_!" Rapunzel shouted him down. "The person who should be here is gone because of you, so you are going to fulfill his promise!"

"You really care that much about that stable boy?" Flynn asked the question in a tone most people only use in prayer.

"YOU TALK ABOUT HIM LIKE THAT AGAIN AND YOU'LL SEE!" She all but roared.

"I'm sorry, Blondie." A hopeful smile played on Flynn's lips. "Really, it's just that after hearing about you and the prince, I thought you forgot all about some childhood crush like poor orphan Eugene Fitzherbert."

Flynn ducked as Rapunzel swung the the frying pan at him. He fell back on the ground with a heavy thud.. She saw red as she stared down at him, her whole body shaking in pure rage. She was past thinking about the lanterns, she was past worrying about being on her own, she was past thinking of anything beyond ridding the world of this horrible murderer. She slowly raised the sword. Before, she was just trying to bluff, but now she was ready to use it.

"Wait, wait, you don't want to do that!" Flynn cried, his eyes wide in fear.

"Yes I do! This is how the Dread Pirate Flynn Rider dies; at the hands of a girl you tried to kidnap!"

"Wait, Rapunzel please listen!" Flynn cried desperately.

"Shut up!" Rapunzel grabbed the discarded gag and tied it over the pirate's mouth.

Flynn screamed through the gag, shaking his head in a desperate attempt to beg her to stop.

"This is for Eugene, you monster!" Rapunzel hissed at the prone body of Eugene's murderer. She was going to pay him back for taking him from her! She raised the sword above her head, aimed straight for his black heart. She drew back for the killing blow!

And... She hesitated. She pulled back again, ready to destroy his heart like he destroyed hers. She glared down at Flynn Rider, every impulse screaming at her to kill him. She growled in white hot fury and raised the sword above her head. Flynn squeezed his eyes shut as she plunged the blade down.

* * *

><p>"Whoa..." Rose whispered in shock.<p>

"Rapunzel... _killed_ him?" Zachary asked, his eyes as wide as his sister's.

"Well, let's see." The King shrugged as he turned the page.

* * *

><p>When Flynn opened his eyes, he saw his face reflected in the blade of his sword. It was stuck in the ground right next to his head. He jumped back in fright. An inch closer and he would have been dead. He looked up at Rapunzel, who just stared miserably at the ground.<p>

She let out a ragged sigh and knelt next to him. He watched in amazement as she began to untie him from her hair. He didn't move a muscle even as he felt her untie his arms and legs. Once she had disentangled him, she stood up, gathered her hair in her arms and walked away without a word.

He watched her in stunned silence. She had gotten to the end of the little ravine by the time he realized what he was doing and went after her. He jumped up and ran towards her, calling for her. That didn't have much success because he only just realized she'd left the gag in his mouth. He tore it off and kept running.

"RAPUNZEL! RAPUNZEL, WAIT!" He called after her. She didn't even turn around. He dashed ahead of her and stood in her way. "Wait! Rapunzel, please!"

"Go away!" Rapunzel yelled, as she sidestepped him and kept walking.

"No, wait!" Flynn tried again.

"GO AWAY!" Rapunzel yelled as she turned and swung the frying pan at him.

This time, he ducked in time for the pan to miss his head. The pirate grabbed her around the waist so she couldn't get away. She struggled and thrashed at his grip. She punched and kicked and fought with everything she had, but he wouldn't let go. After nearly a half hour of this battle, Rapunzel finally stopped fighting. The two of them stood in silence, totally physically and emotionally exhausted.

"Rapunzel, listen to me." Flynn said quietly. "Thank you for not killing me."

Rapunzel flinched and kicked her leg. She finally got a lucky hit as her knee connected between his legs. Flynn doubled over from the pain in his groin and Rapunzel fell to her knees and crawled away from him.

When he composed himself, he saw her sitting not five feet away from him. She was curled up in a ball, her knees pulled up into her chest. Her head rested face down in her crossed arms as she rocked back and forth on the ground. Her hair falling around her body as it was weeping itself. Pascal had begun nuzzling her hand.

Flynn slowly walked over to her, but stopped three feet away. "Why didn't you...?"

"...Kill you?" Rapunzel asked, not looking up.

"Uh, yeah." Flynn said, not knowing what to say.

"I wanted to. I was going to put that sword right through your heart, if you even have one. But I couldn't. I was going to avenge Eugene and I just couldn't. I'm just... weak, I guess." Rapunzel said, bleakly. "Besides, it wouldn't give me what I really want."

"And what do you really want?" Flynn ventured.

"I want Eugene back. I want to see the lanterns with him. I want to live happily ever after with him." Rapunzel said hoarsely. "But that's never going to happen. I'll either end up being forced to marry Prince Walter or spend my life alone in hiding. So, why don't you go get your sword and save us both some trouble?"

Pascal chirped in panic at Rapunzel's words.

"I can't do that." Flynn said carefully.

"Why not?" Rapunzel sighed in frustration, her face still buried in her arms. "You've got the whole reputation of not taking prisoners, so just live up to it and let me be with Eugene again!"

"I don't think your frog would appreciate that." Flynn said, pointing to the panicked chameleon on her arm.

Rapunzel's head shot up, a look of horror on her face. She scooped up Pascal and hugged him to her cheek.

"Oh Pascal! I'm so sorry! I didn't even think... I'm so sorry! I won't leave you! I promise!" She babbled apologies to her oldest friend, as tears ran down her face. The chameleon returned her embrace, desperate to hold onto _his_ only friend.

"Do you really want to die, Rapunzel?" Flynn asked quietly. "You think Eugene would want that? He loves you and he wants you to live."

"Why do you care?" Rapunzel let out a frustrated sigh. "I just... I just want him back."

"Whatever you say, Blondie." Flynn said tenderly. Rapunzel's eyes popped open in shock.

"W-what did you say?" She asked, barely whispering. Hearing that phrase from someone else was jarring enough, but he said it _exactly_ the way that a certain someone always said it.

"I said..." The infamous pirate captain smiled warmly at her as he reached up to his face. With one quick movement, he pulled off the mask. "Whatever you say, Blondie."

Rapunzel gasped and Pascal fainted dead away. He was older, his skin was more tan and he had grown a small beard, but the rest was exactly as she remembered.

"EUGENE!" Rapunzel cried, jumping into his arms.

"Hey, Blondie." Eugene chuckled as her jump sent them rolling on the ground.

"But you died! And then you were gone and now you're the one who killed you and..." Rapunzel rambled on as she gawked at him in disbelief.

Well, yeah! It's, uh... it's kind of a long story." Eugene smiled awkwardly.

"Oh forget it! You're alive!" She wrapped her arms around him and held him tighter than she'd held onto Vladimir to keep from falling off the cliff. "I missed you so much!"

"I told you I'd come back for you." Eugene said, running a hand through her hair.

"I know, but I thought you were dead." She said, not bothering to hold back a sob.

"Ah, death can't stop true love!" Eugene said dismissively." OK, it might _delay_ it a little bit, but..."

Rapunzel cut him off by slamming her lips to his in a kiss that melted away five years worth of grief.

* * *

><p>"Oh no, they're kissing again!" Zach said in disgust.<p>

"Quiet, Zach!" Rose scowled. "They're together again, they're _supposed_ to kiss."

"This story was getting good and now it's back to mushy stuff! Can we skip this part?" Zachary moaned.

"NO! Don't skip it, Grandpa!" Rose yelled desperately.

"There will be no skipping." The King said decisively. "If a story's worth hearing, it's worth sitting through the parts you don't care for, Zachary."

"Well, maybe this story's not worth hearing, then." The young prince grumbled.

"Why don't you just listen to the story before you say that?" Rose protested.

"Cause I hate mushy stuff, Nosy." Zachary said nastily.

"Don't call me Nosy, Hackary." Rose shot back.

"Brat!" Zachary yelled back.

"Jerk!" Rose stuck out her tongue.

"CHILDREN!" The twins went quiet at their grandfather's shout. He gave them both a stern glare. "Now, I'm going to go on with the story and there will be _no more_ name calling. Is that clear?"

"Yes, Grandpa." They answered in unison, hanging their heads contritely.

"All right then." The King said, turning the page.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note<strong>

OK, I hate to do this to you guys, but I've got a lot of stuff going on in real life, including moving which raises some uncertainties about internet access in the immediate future. So, don't expect a new chapter until I get moved and stuff calms down, which should be around late August or mid September.

I was pushing to get this chapter done so I could at least leave you on a happy note. So, I hope you'll stick with me.

Leave a review if you don't hate me for this.


	9. The Chase Is On! …Again!

**Chapter 9: The Chase Is On! …Again!**

* * *

><p>Eugene and Rapunzel held each other at the bottom of the ravine. They were lost in each other until they heard the sound of men yelling. They looked back up the hill; they didn't see anyone, but the sound was getting louder.<p>

"We better get out of here." Rapunzel suggested.

"Good idea." Eugene jumped to his feet, pulling Rapunzel up with him.

The two lovers raced along the ravine floor towards a nearby forest. They easy slipped in among the trees and out of sight as their pursuers came to the top of the hill.

Hook Hand, Vlad and Ulf ran over the hill. Yzma, still in the form of a tiny purple kitten, looked around from the top of Vlad's helmet. "Any sign of them?"

Ulf pointed down to the ravine where the last bit of blonde hair disappeared into the forest.

"Well, let's go!" Yzma yelled. The thugs took off down the hill… and they all tripped and fell down the hill.

"WHOA! OW! OOF!" The thugs yelped as they tumbled down the hill.

"AH! Uhhh…" Yzma landed on the ground with a light thud. "Well, that wasn't so…"

She was cut off as Ulf landed on top of her. Then Hook Hand landed on Ulf, and finally, Vladimir landed on Hook Hand. The three of them stood up and brushed each other off.

"Where's Yzma?" Vlad asked, looking around.

"Here, you idiots!" The three looked and saw a flattened purple kitten stuck to Ulf's stomach.

"Sorry about that." Hook Hand pulled her off Ulf and let her straighten out.

"Well, let's go!" Yzma yelled. The three thugs and the kitten ran into the forest.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, Prince Walter's search party found the abandoned camp.<p>

"There are the foot prints! Whoever this newcomer is, he's impressive. He beat the giant, as well as the other kidnapper." Walter picked up the bottle of wine and sniffed it. "Extract of kitten, I'd bet my life on it."

"Uh, Your Highness, the princess' foot prints don't lead away from here." Tyrone Stabbington pointed out.

Maximus smelled the ground and pointed out the foot prints to the prince.

"I see it, Maximus. There's only one set because the newcomer was carrying her." Walter stooped to examine the ground. The foot prints of bare feet vanished and the single booted pair went off. "The prints are slightly deeper, as if their maker was carrying extra weight."

"Does that mean she's…?" One of the guards started but couldn't finish.

"She's _not_!" Walter snapped. "And I will not entertain the idea until I have evidence to support it."

Maximus looked off into the distance and whinnied.

"They're headed towards the forest. Let's go!" The search party rode off towards the forest near the end of the hills.

* * *

><p>Rapunzel and Eugene ran through the forest as the afternoon sun beat through the trees at them. They stopped for breath under a large tree and just grinned at each other.<p>

"Well, this day's turning out interesting." Eugene said, still catching his breath.

"Yeah, I'm hoping we can avoid any more ruffians and thugs though." Rapunzel said, brushing some hair out of her face.

"Yeah that would be helpful" Eugene said as he leaned against a tree. "Hopefully, it won't be too many obstacles between here and Corona City."

"Corona City?" Rapunzel asked.

"It's the capital of the whole kingdom and it has the biggest lantern festival." Eugene grinned as Rapunzel's eyes lit up as he mentioned the lanterns.

"We're _actually_ going?" Rapunzel gasped.

"Of course! I promised, didn't I?" Eugene shrugged magnanimously.

Rapunzel tried to hold back a squeal of delight. "How are we gonna get there? Is it far?"

"Nah, we should get there by morning. We just need to avoid the Fire Swamp." Eugene said offhandedly.

"Oh that's goo… Did you say, 'Fire Swamp'?" Rapunzel squeaked.

"Yeah, dark, scary forest full of scary creatures and random bursts of fire." Eugene casually explained, earning a horrified gasp from Rapunzel. "Relax, it's easy to avoid."

"Oh… well, alright then." Rapunzel sighed in relief. She whipped around at the sound of a rustling in the bushes. She sprinted over to Eugene and clambered onto his back. "Is it the ruffians? Have they come for me again?!"

Eugene adjusted his stance to account for the girl on his back and grabbed his sword. He raised the blade as… a cute little bunny hopped out of the bush. He raised an eyebrow. "Be careful. It probably smells fear."

"Oh!" She climbed down in relief. "_Sorry_. I'm still kind of jumpy from the whole getting-kidnapped thing."

"Ah, don't worry. As long as we keep moving, there shouldn't be-OH NO!" He yelled as he rushed away from her.

"WHAT? What is it?!" she raised the frying pan and looked around wildly for some unseen threat.

"Oh no!" he ran to a tree with a wanted poster nailed to it. It showed a familiar masked man smirking arrogantly. He ripped it off and looked at it in a panic. "No, no, no, no, no. This is _bad_. This is very, _very_ bad. This is _really_ bad!"

"Eugene?" she asked worriedly.

"See what I meant? They just _can't_ get my nose right?" He showed her the poster and the huge nose sticking out under the mask.

"_Eugene_…" Rapunzel rolled her eyes. Pascal hissed in irritation at his vanity.

"What? Bad enough they want me for piracy, but they can't even get the artist to paint a decent picture?" Eugene crumpled up the poster and huffed angrily.

"Well, you _do_ wear a mask. It's hard to get details like that." she smiled.

"I guess." Eugene frowned in disgust at the poster. He suddenly turned and looked back the way they came. "We better go. I think I hear 'em getting closer."

Rapunzel grabbed her hair and they dashed off deeper into the woods. They ran down a hill and came upon a dirt road.

"Well, this should make things easier." Rapunzel said, looking down the road. "Hey, look! A place we can rest."

"Huh, well, what do you know?" Eugene raised an eyebrow in disbelief. An old inn was just up the road. It looked like it was about to tilt and fall over, or the huge tree next to it would crash down on top of it. A sign hung out front displaying the name of the establishment. "The Snuggly Duckling. Sounds like a quaint enough place."

"Well…I do like ducklings." Rapunzel said, clutching her frying pan to her chest.

"Yay!" Eugene jokingly cheered as he replaced his mask. They went up to the door and Eugene threw the door open. "Garcon, your finest table, please!"

Rapunzel gasped in terror. The place was filled with ruffians and thugs. It was as if Yzma's men were having a family reunion. They were all huge, hulking, rough looking brutes who'd beat a person to a pulp as soon as look at them. By the look of them, they were either pirates, vikings, bandits, or just run of the mill barbarians. Rapunzel backed against Eugene and held her frying pan out in a feeble display of defense.

"Right, _of course_ the first place we see is like this." Eugene muttered before flashing an arrogant grin. "Howdy boys, don't mind us."

He put a hand on Rapunzel's shoulder and coaxed her further inside. He leaned over and whispered. "Relax, I've been in joints like this before, I'll handle it."

She nodded, but still didn't lower the pan. Eugene meanwhile reverted to his Flynn Rider persona as they moved through the crowd of thugs.

"You smell that? Take a deep breath through the nose. Really let that seep in. What are you getting? Because to me, that's part man-smell, and the other part is really bad man-smell." Flynn said nonchalantly. Pascal cringed and hid in Rapunzel's hair at the sight of a man with a pot full of what looked like lizard stew.

"I don't know why, but overall it just smells like the color brown. Your thoughts?" Flynn asked.

Before she could answer, she gasped as one of the many ruffians grabbed her hair. She pulled it and dragged it through his hands as she backed away from him and Flynn.

"That's a lot of hair." The thug observed as the flowing blonde locks slipped between his fingers.

"She's growing it out." Flynn shrugged, taking the hair from him.

Rapunzel backed into a corner, her arms full of her hair and her eyes full of fear. Flynn came up to her and steered her to an empty table. It sat right underneath, what appeared to be part of the huge tree outside.

"Relax, Blondie." He whispered, dropping his Flynn act. "We're gonna be fine if we just…"

**SLAM!**

The entire bar's attention went to the front door slamming open. A familiar set of faces joined the crowd. Hook Hand, Vladimir, Ulf and Yzma glared around the pub.

"Oh no!" Rapunzel gulped.

"Has anyone seen a guy in black and a girl with really, really, _really_ long blonde hair?" Hook Hand asked the crowd.

"Blondie, listen closely; get out of here. I'll stall 'em long enough for you to get away." Eugene whispered, drawing his sword.

"Eugene, no!" Rapunzel moved to grab him, but he had already jumped on a table and reverted to Flynn.

"Hello, gang! Is it time for round two already?" Flynn challenged as he waved his sword at them.

"YOU!" Yzma squeaked. "You'll pay for your interference!"

The bar burst into raucous laughter at the talking kitten.

"Oh, shut up!" Yzma meowed.

"They got a point, Yzma, you do sound kinda silly." Hook Hand shrugged, fighting his own laughter.

"Kitten, you're lookin' at the Dread Pirate Flynn Rider." Flynn boasted, earning a gasp from the crowd. "You sure you want to pick this fight again?"

"GET HIM, NOW!" Yzma ordered. The three thugs launched at him.

Eugene kicked Vlad in the face as he jumped off the table. He jumped off the giant's shoulders onto another table, as Hook Hand ran after him. They crossed swords for a few seconds before Hook Hand just kicked the table out from under him. Flynn landed on his feet as Hook Hand brought his sword down at him.

"I assume this fight's is to the death too?" Flynn nonchalantly asked, blocking the blade.

"Sorry." Hook Hand shrugged.

"Me too. But I don't really have time for this fight, so…" He threw Hook Hand back and then turned and poked a huge man at the bar with his sword. The large man turned and growled. Flynn hid his sword behind his back and pointed at Hook Hand. "It was him!"

"Well then, let me show you why they call me Bruiser!" The thug cracked his knuckles.

"What?!" Hook Hand yelped as the large man tackled him.

The thug, Bruiser." grappled with Hook Hand on the floor until Ulf and Vladimir jumped in tried to separate them. Meanwhile, Rapunzel and Eugene tried to sneak past them while they were distracted.

"Come on, come on, come on!" Eugene whispered frantically as they headed for the door.

"Sorry, but I can't let you do that." They suddenly felt the iron grip of Vlad's huge hands on their arms.

"Good boy, Vladimir!" Yzma smiled, patting the giant's horned helmet.

"HEY!" A voice rang out from the door. There stood two familiar figures carrying clubs.

"Attila! Big Nose! Great timing!" Flynn grinned. "Blondie, meet some of my shipmates."

"Let the captain and his lady friend go." Big Nose growled.

"NEVER!" Yzma yelled from her perch on Vlad's shoulders.

"OK, we do it the hard way!" Attila said as he and Big Nose charged into Vladimir. They hit him square in the chest, sending all of them flying across the pub.

Ulf ran to help Vlad, but Attila knocked him onto a table of huge men. To his dismay, the landing knocked over their beer, the surest way to make enemies in a bar. The men grabbed Ulf and tossed him into the air, where Vladimir caught him.

"No one does that to my pal!" Vladimir charged the men, knocking them down like bowling pins.

By this point, all hell had broken loose. The fight had become a full-fledged barroom brawl involving every thug in the place. Yzma yowled over the chaos, trying to get her men's attention back on finding the princess, but with no success.

Eugene frantically fought through the mêlée, trying to find Rapunzel.

"BLONDIE!" He called, deflecting an axe with his sword. He jumped across two men who seemed to be fighting over the only keg of beer in the place that hadn't been smashed. "RAPUNZEL!"

"EUGENE!" He turned and saw her crouched behind the bar. She jumped back as a mug shattered not three feet away from her.

"BLONDIE! I'M COMING!" Eugene shouted, running through the fighting thugs towards the bar. Before he could reach her, Hook Hand, Vladimir and Ulf caught him. "Oh come on!"

"Tear him apart!" Yzma cackled, hanging from a horn on Vlad's helmet.

"NO!" Big Nose and Attila joined the tug fight and Eugene found himself in a game of tug of war with himself as the rope.

"Leave him alone!" Rapunzel yelled over the din, but with no effect. She shook with impotent rage as she watched her true love inch closer to being out of her life again. "NO!"

Forgetting her fear, she leaped onto the bar and threw a huge lock of her hair around a tree branch near the ceiling. She pulled on it with all her strength and sent it smashing into several thugs.

With a war cry, her hair wrapped around a chair and she swung it into the fray. It went flying through the crowd, knocking three thugs to the ground.

She threw out another length of hair, wrapping around the chandelier. She yanked on it, causing the rope holding it to break and letting it crash down into the brawl, taking out five more thugs.

Finally, she caught sight of a large man with a scar and used her hair puppet trick she used on Hook Hand. She wrapped his arms and legs with her hair and used him as a marionette in the fight. Under her control, the unwitting ruffian went through the bar, striking anything that moved until finally making him knock himself out.

All that remained were the five thugs holding Eugene, all of whom gawked in disbelief that Rapunzel had just taken down everyone in the tavern. The furious princess breathed hard and she glared at the thugs, her frying pan in her white knuckle grip.

"PUT! HIM! DOWN!" Rapunzel ordered.

The thugs remained frozen in shock. Even the ones splayed out on the ground stared in astonishment at the tiny blond girl. Eugene's stunned expression turned into a proud but awestruck open-mouthed grin at her handiwork.

"Uh…" Vladimir ventured, but he still couldn't find the words after that display.

"OK! Look! I don't know where I am, and need _him_ to take me to see the lanterns because I've been dreaming about them my entire life, _and_ until a few hours ago I thought he was _dead_!" Rapunzel yelled, years' worth of pain steeling her resolve. "Now, I'm _finally_ within reach of seeing them and I have my true love back and I'm finally going to live my dream! I've come too far and I've been through too much and I WON'T let you take him away from me now!"

"Too bad." Rapunzel gasped as she felt several sharp objects graze her neck. Yzma grinned as she held her claws at the would-be princess' throat. "Dreams don't come true just because you wish them to. I'm _making_ my dream come true, and it involves me being rich after I get rid of you."

"No!" Rapunzel yelled swinging the frying pan back and smacking Yzma in the face. The impact sent the kitten flying into the wall.

"Uuuuuhhh…" Yzma rubbed her head as a huge lump appeared. "Will one of you big monkeys get this little tramp and get rid of that interloper and do something _right_ for a change?!"

"OK, then." Vladimir said, his eyes narrowing. Hook Hand and Vlad tossed Eugene into Big Nose and Attila's grasp as Ulf looked on, confused. Vlad grabbed a large barrel as they stomped over to the bar, making Rapunzel back up as they approached.

"Hehehehe! Now we'll see who's WHOA!" Yzma was cut off as Hook Hand picked her up by the tail and tossed her into Vlad's barrel. "Wha… What are you doing?!"

"We're doing something _right_ for a change." Vladimir growled, stuffing a lid on the barrel.

Ulf let go, as did Attila and Big Nose. Eugene ran over to Rapunzel and hugged her.

"Um… thank you?" Rapunzel and Eugene said together, still confused.

"No problem." Hook Hand shrugged.

"You're him, ain't ya?" Vladimir asked, looking at Eugene. "You're her Prince Charming she said died!"

"Yeah… guess I am." Eugene gave an arrogant shrug, earning a slap on the chest from Rapunzel.

"I thought so." Hook Hand smirked.

"It's so romantic." Big Nose gushed.

"Cap'n, should we stick around." Attila asked, giving a wary glance to their three former enemies.

"Nah, we can trust them." Eugene waved off. "How'd you guys know we'd be here anyway?"

"We didn't." Attila shrugged. "We just docked the ship and came for drinks."

"A finer crew a pirate's never had." Eugene sighed in exasperation. "Well, when you're done, get back to the ship and resume course for Corona City. We'll meet you there the day after the lantern celebration."

"Aye, sir!" Attila and Big Nose saluted. They turned and headed for the door just as it burst open yet again.

**SLAM!**

Rapunzel and Eugene took one look at the new arrivals and jumped behind the bar. Prince Walter and his men had arrived. They covered their Andalasian uniforms under their cloaks, even their flags were hidden to keep their presence in Corona less conspicuous.

"Attention, please!" Walter addressed the thugs with cold determination. "I am looking for a young girl. She is not hard to recognize. She has green eyes, slim figure, and extraordinary long blonde hair."

Hook Hand and Vladimir exchanged worried glances, as did Big Nose and Attila. Ulf covered his eyes and hid from sight.

"Any word to her whereabouts will be greatly rewarded" The prince went on.

"I saw her. She was here before with that guy from the wanted posters." A very drunk man said, before one of the other thugs elbowed him to shut him up.

Walter turned and noticed a wanted poster on the wall. He tore it off and glared. It was another wanted poster for the Dread Pirate Flynn Rider.

"RIDER!" He crumpled up the poster and tossed it behind the bar. It unfolded enough to see a masked man with a long, Pinocchio like nose.

"Oh, now they're just being mean." Eugene muttered under his breath.

"Shh!" Rapunzel clamped her hand over his mouth.

"Where's Rider? Where is he? I know he's here somewhere and he has my fiancée!" Walter demanded, but the ruffians and thugs just shrugged. Walter turned to his men and gave his order, pounding his fist on the bar. "_Find them_! Turn this place upside down if you have to!"

Rapunzel and Eugene listened, terrified as the guards began their search. Suddenly, Hook Hand was at their side, shifting his eyes towards the back of the bar. He pulled a lever, which opened a trap door in the floor.

"Go. Live your dream!" Hook Hand whispered.

"We will." Eugene grinned as he went into the tunnel.

"Thank you." Rapunzel gave Hook Hand a quick kiss on the cheek before following Eugene into the tunnel.

Meanwhile, Vladimir took the poster and held Ulf out in front of the Andalasian guards. "I believe this is the man you're looking for."

Ulf smiled and held out his arms in surrender as the prince stared in confusion.

**SLAM!**

The door finally fell off its hinges after being slammed open for the fifth time that day. Maximus reared up and glared around the bar. He sniffed the floor and suddenly whinnied in surprise.

"What's he…" Prince Walter slapped a hand over his guard's mouth. He'd come to accept that this horse was as competent as any of his soldiers, if not more so.

Maximus went to the bar and sniffed. He grinned and pointed behind the bar with a triumphant nicker. Walter ran and checked behind the bar, but there was no sign of anyone. The prince just sighed in frustration. Max just gave the prince a deadpan stare as he hit the lever that opened the secret passage.

"A passage! This way!" Walter yelled to his men. Maximus lead the guards into the tunnel, while Walter turned to one the last guard in the room. "Conli, you and the baroness' men stand guard in case they double back."

"Aye, sir!" Conli saluted, as Baroness Gothel's footmen actually entered the bar.

"Anything?" Asked Tyrone Stabbington.

"They've gone into the tunnel after the princess and her kidnapper. We're supposed to stay here if they come back this way." Conli explained.

"Yeah, that's not gonna fly." Tyrone shook his head.

"But His Highness was very clear…" Before Conli could finish, Chris Stabbington head-butted the young soldier into unconsciousness.

"Don't worry, we'll get the princess. Just rest up." Tyrone grinned as his brother Chris adjusted his eye patch.

Hook Hand stood gawking as the Stabbingtons ducked into the tunnel.

"It's them." He whispered, scarcely believing his own eyes. "IT'S THEM!"

"Who?" Vlad asked, confused.

"Those two guys are the ones who killed my parents. Let's go!" Hook Hand all but snarled as he drew his sword. The three ruffians dashed past the unconscious Andalasian guard and into the tunnel.

Unfortunately, they knocked over the barrel they had put Yzma in and the freed the kitten assassin. She growled and noticed a sword on the ground behind the bar.

"You're not getting in my way again." She hissed as she grabbed the blade and followed her former henchmen down into the dark cave.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, Rapunzel and Eugene walked deeper into the cave, lit by a lantern they had found near the entrance.<p>

"Well, I've I gotta say, I didn't know you had that in you, back there. That was pretty impressive." Eugene remarked.

"I _KNOW!_" Rapunzel squealed in joy and disbelief. He winced and said again in a more self-assured tone, "I know."

Eugene grinned. He'd missed how excited she could get about everything.

"So… Eugene?" Rapunzel asked. "Um, if you've been alive all this time, how come you never tried to contact me before now?"

"Uh…" Eugene's eyes narrowed. "Actually, funny story, _I did!_"

"No, you didn't!" Rapunzel stopped walking, shocked at the admission.

"_Yes_, I did." He turned to face her. "After I got out of a few tight spots, I wrote to you every chance I could get."

"I never got any letters." She said, her mind racing.

"I figured." he said bitterly. "I explained in my first letter that you couldn't send _me_ letters back, but I'd keep writing to you so you'd see I hadn't forgotten about you."

"But, why couldn't I have written you back?" Her confusion was building with each passing word.

"That's kind of a long story, but the fact is, I _did_ send you letters." They started walking again as they talked. "After I heard the announcement that you were marrying the prince, I figured something was wrong."

"Why?" She asked.

"Well, for starters, I sent a letter saying I was coming home about two weeks before they announced the engagement." He rubbed the back of his neck. "And the idea of you _wanting_ to get married to anyone other than the gorgeousness that is me is just inconceivable."

"I don't remember you being this full of yourself." She smirked as she slapped his arm.

"Maybe it's repressed." He shrugged and gave her a smug grin. "I thought… I _hoped_ that you somehow never got my letters or you were forced into it, and was coming to save you."

"Then why did you do pretend you're the Dread Pirate Flynn Rider and not just show me who you were to begin with?"

"Well… I knew there was a _chance_ that you really _did_ just get over me and loved the prince, so I figured keeping myself a secret would be a better way to tell how you really felt."

"Still mean." She said, crossing her arms and glaring at her feet.

"I'll make it up to you." He put a hand on her shoulder. "And… actually, I wasn't pretending; I really _am_ the Dread Pirate Flynn Rider."

"That's impossible. Flynn Rider's been plundering the coast for years! How could you be him when he was old when you were young, and he attacked you and now you're him? Rapunzel finished confused by her own train of thought.

"Uh… well, it's kind of an interesting story…" A pebble suddenly fell to the tunnel floor. The ground rumbled, shaking the small stones.

"Eugene?" Rapunzel looked back and saw tiny lights further back in the tunnel as the sound grew louder.

"RIDER! SURRENDER MY FIANCEE!" Walter's cry reverberated along the stone walls.

"…Which we'll save for another time!" He helped her grab her hair and they both ran down the passage, hearing the thunderous footfalls of the prince and his men close behind them.

Before long, they burst into daylight. They found themselves in a large canyon. To their right was a huge dam and a duct system. They must have been near the local reservoir, so there had to be an outlet nearby.

They ran to the edge of the cliff and saw a rickety old ladder leading to the canyon floor. They thought climbing down when two hulking red-haired men burst through another cave.

"Who's that?" Eugene asked.

"Mother's footmen." Rapunzel squeaked in panic. Prince Walter and his men burst out of the tunnel.

"And them?" Eugene asked rhetorically.

"My fiancé and his army." Rapunzel gulped. Suddenly Maximus galloped into view.

Eugene's eyes widened as he recognized the horse. "…Is that…?"

"Let's assume for that moment that everyone in here doesn't like you!" Rapunzel said impatiently. "Here!"

"Wha..oof!" Rapunzel knocked the wind out of Eugene as she roughly passed him the frying pan. "I have a sword you know!"

She didn't answer him. Instead, she threw her hair across the canyon and wrapped it around some wooden beams. She jumped off the cliff, swinging across the huge gap to another cliff on the other end of the dam.

Eugene turned to the prince and his men.

"I waited a long time to meet you face to face, Rider." Walter said, grinning as he unsheathed his sword.

"And you'll always remember this as the day you almost caught the Dread Pirate Flynn Rider." Flynn grinned, reaching for his own sword. His smile faded when he realized it wasn't on his belt. He flashed back to the bar fight. His sword must have fallen off when they ducked under the bar, which meant… his only weapon was a frying pan. Sure, it was useful to hit a few thugs by surprise, but four men and a horse in a straight up fight? "Uh oh."

Walter swung his sword at Flynn, but he ducked the shot and swung the pan in the prince's face. He fell to the ground unconscious. Another guard lunged forward and also got a frying pan to the face. Two more swung their swords, but Flynn parried and swung the pan in both their faces.

"OH, MAMA! I have _got _to get me one of these!" Flynn said, giving at the old cooking utensil with newfound respect. He turned to his next opponent and found Maximus neighing angrily with a sword in his mouth.

Max swung the sword and Flynn began fighting back with the frying pan.

"You should know this is the strangest thing I've _ever_ done!" Flynn yelled out as he kept parrying with the horse. He tried to block another swing, but the impact of the sword sent the pan flying over the cliff. "How about two out of three?"

Maximus responded by pointed the sword at his neck.

"DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEE!" Flynn and Max turned at the sound. To their shock, a tiny grey kitten ran out of the tunnel, swinging Flynn's sword. She jumped and swung, but Max's sword blocked the blow. The horse and kitten engaged in the most unorthodox sword fight ever seen.

"And _that's_ the strangest thing I've ever _seen_." Flynn commented as the two animals forgot his presence.

"Eugene!" Rapunzel called as she threw her hair, wrapping it around his right wrist. Max and Yzma paused in their fight as Flynn gave a mock salute and swung off the cliff.

Rapunzel held her golden hair as he swung across the canyon, right into the path of the Stabbingtons. She tried to pull him out of the way, but he was too close. The Stabbingtons raised their swords for the kill.

"HEY!" The twins turned as three hulking men burst out of a nearby cave and charged them. Flynn swung over them just as Hook Hand drew his sword.

"HA! YOU SHOULD SEE YOUR FACES BECAUSE YOU LOOK…" Eugene was cut off as he swung into a huge plank wood. "…_ridiculous_…"

Rapunzel stifled a laugh as he hit the plank mid-sentence. However, her mirth was short-lived as she heard a loud banging across the canyon. Maximus was trying to kick a huge beam off the dam to try and walk across it.

"Max, stop!" Rapunzel cried.

Max whinnied in confusion; why didn't his friend want to be saved? It was a moot point, though, as the huge beam fell over, creating a make-shift bridge across the canyon.

"Thanks, you old nag!" Yzma ran across the bridge, Eugene's sword in her mouth. Maximus charged after the cat, trying to keep her from his friend. Meanwhile, Walter and his men slowly came to and began moving towards the fallen beam.

"Come on, Blondie!" Eugene called from the aqueduct he'd swung to. He still held her hair for her to swing from, motioning her to do so. "Jump!"

She ran to the cliff's edge and leaped into the air. Yzma lunged into the air, sword pulled back and ready to strike. She laughed wickedly, aiming the sword for Rapunzel's head.

"MWAHAHAHAHAAAA-urk!" Yzma was pulled back as Maximus caught her tail in his teeth and threw her off the cliff. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

She fell a hundred feet below where she landed right in the midst of the brawl between the thugs and the Stabbingtons.

"Hello, my name is Hook Ha-AAAAAH!" Hook Hand stopped midsentence as Yzma landed on his head, claws out. He stumbled around blindly, trying to pry the creepy kitten off his head.

Meanwhile, Rapunzel swung across the ravine and landed underneath the waterway. She took off in a run while Eugene slid down the waterway.

Suddenly a loud cracking and rumbling echoed across the canyon. Rapunzel, Flynn, the three thugs, Yzma, the Stabbingtons, Maximus, and Prince Walter's men looked up as the dam began to crack. With a huge crash, the dam smashed, unleashing the entire reservoir into the canyon. The torrent of water swept away everyone else while Eugene and Rapunzel raced along the canyon with their arms full of Rapunzel's hair. The wall of water hit a huge stone and the force of the water broke it at the base.

The fleeing lovers ran as fast as they could towards an open cave to escape the falling stones. They dashed inside just as the pillar of rock came crashing down. Eugene grabbed at his sword and their frying pan as they washed into the tunnel. He jumped away with them just as the stone crashed and sealed the entrance to the cave.

They caught their breath, but the relief of escape left when they realized the cave was filling with water. They ran to the back of the cave, only to find a dead-end. Rapunzel climbed up on the rocks and hit the ceiling with the frying pan while Eugene dove under the water to find another way out. Pascal jumped out of Rapunzel's hair and crawled across the cave walls, trying to find cracks in the walls.

Eugene jumped out of the water, taking in a huge gulp of air. He couldn't find any sign of escape. He turned to the ceiling, but the stones wouldn't give an inch. The water was already up to their waists. Within a few minutes, the cave would be full and they would drown. He took another deep breath and went back into the water.

Rapunzel hit the walls with all her strength, but there was no give or even a hint of loose rocks. Eugene popped up again, a grim look on his face.

"It's no use! I can't see anything!" He threw his drenched mask away and wiped the water off his face, trying to think of the next thing to try. Rapunzel just frowned and dove under the water herself. She was instantly pulled back up by Eugene. She struggled to try again, but he held her tight.

"Hey! There's no point! It's pitch black down there!" He shook her shoulders lightly and brushed the soaked hair from her face.

Rapunzel just stared at him in disbelief. There was no way out of this. They were going to drown. They were going to _die _and there was nothing they could do about it.

"This is all my fault. She was right; I never should have done this!" She held a hand to her face as her eyes filled with tears, barely visible on her dripping face. "I'm so sorry, Eugene."

"It's not your fault." He said, putting a hand on her shoulder.

"If I hadn't gone out on my own and got kidnapped and made you bring me…" She went on before he put a finger to her lips.

"Coming back to you was worth it." He said. "You're the only person who ever made me feel like… like I was someone who mattered. You know, I never told you this, but, uh... Heh. I liked you from the minute I first saw you, even if you didn't like me at the time."

"Really?" She asked, giving a grin despite the sadness.

"I figured you should know that since… well, you know." He smiled sadly at her.

This was it. They'd been torn apart for so long, and just when they found each other, they were going to die. The only comfort they took was that at least they would spend their last moments together. Rapunzel laughed ruefully; she may as well tell him her greatest secret, since it didn't matter now anyway.

"I have magic hair that glows when I sing." She grinned sheepishly.

Eugene's smile dropped. "What?"

"I…have… magic hair that _GLOWS_ when I sing!" She triumphantly stated as she realized the implications of that face. She sang out the first verse of the healing song just as the water rose and filled the cave. "Flower, gleam and glow, let your power shine!"

For a second the two they floated in dark, water silence until a golden glow began to fill the cave. Eugene yelped in surprise, losing half his air in the process. The astonishment gave way to hope. The hair near the bottom of the cave was being drawn to a set of rocks. They swam down towards the loose rocks and began to dig. Pascal swam and held onto the glowing tresses as they felt more water seep past them as they removed more rocks.

Finally, with a mighty push, they hit fresh air. The rocks gave way and the water rushed out into the open air and down into a river, carrying them all with it. They flopped onto the shore, catching their breath. Pascal jumped to the ground from Rapunzel's head and shook off the water.

"We made it!" Rapunzel gasped happily. Her gift had finally been useful for something other than giving her mother a pick-me-up!

"Her hair glows." Eugene said in a daze.

"We're alive!" she said, as it to assure herself it was true. "We're alive!

"I didn't see that coming." he ran a hand through his own hair. "Her hair actually glows!"

"Uh… Eugene..."

"Why does her hair glow?!" he demanded Pascal to answer, even though it was obvious he would get no answer.

"Eugene!" Her voice cut through his thoughts.

"What?!" He snapped, still slightly hysterical about her hair's magical properties.

"Uh… wh…where are we?" Rapunzel asked, trying not to sound as scared as she felt.

"What?" Eugene looked ahead of them and his stomach clenched. "Uh oh…"

They stared into a forest unlike any other on Earth. To say it was a dark and scary forest would be a gross understatement. This wood was straight out of someone's darkest nightmare. Huge, twisted trees blocked out the afternoon sun, shrouding the woods in darkness. It was as if the forest itself had turned its back on the light of day. Dead vines hung from branches and wrapped around tree trunks, choking life out of other plants. Dead, rotten leaves littered muddy ground. An eerie cry belonging to no animal known to man could be heard somewhere from deep within the woods. A sudden burst of fire erupted among the trees, sending charred leaves and moss everywhere. The air itself was thick with the smell of decay, broken only by the smell of freshly burned plants. This was no ordinary forest. Every inch of it looked like it was made to kill anyone foolish enough to enter.

"Wha… what is this place?!" Rapunzel asked, gulping at the terrifying forest before them. Pascal scampered up into her hair, trying to hide from the frightening place.

Eugene picked up his sword and took a defensive stance at the foreboding woods "Rapunzel, allow me to introduce everybody's favorite vacation spot: the Fire Swamp."

* * *

><p>AN: I'm back! Hope I didn't make you guys go too crazy waiting for this. Hopefully, the next update will be sooner, since my schedule is less heavy for a while.


	10. The Fire Swamp

**Chapter 10: The Fire Swamp**

* * *

><p>"Well…" Eugene pulled his sword and walked forward ahead of Rapunzel. He swiped a few vines out of their way. "Better get going."<p>

"You're serious?" Rapunzel asked, gawking at the dark and terrifying swamp.

"Well, we don't have much choice." He shrugged, chopping a few more vines out of the way.

"But… we'll never survive!" She ran after him, her eyes darting around for any hint of more ruffians and thugs, or something even worse.

"Oh, please! You're just sayin' that cause nobody ever has before!" He kicked a few fallen branches out of the path before him. "I think we're gonna be trendsetters."

"You're crazy." She grasped her frying pan close and ran after him. Pascal squeaked nervously as he hid inside Rapunzel's hair.

"Nah, I'm just…" He was cut off by a noise.

***pop-pop-pop***

The noise seemed to be coming from a spot on the ground. Several leaves were blown off the ground by small bursts of air coming from beneath the ground.

"What the…" He was cut off as a huge burst of fire erupted from the ground. "_All right_ then!"

"So, _that's_ why it's called the Fire Swamp." Rapunzel gulped.

"Pretty much, yeah." Eugene cleared his throat.

***pop-pop-pop***

"Oh no…" She gasped, looking around for the source of the popping.

"Rapunzel!" Eugene pointed to the ground near her feet. The popping was right next to her, less than an inch from her hair.

"NO!" She screamed pulling her massive locks out of the way just before the fire shot up.

"Geez!" He sighed, putting a hand on her shoulder. "Well, that was an adventure."

"It's not funny, Eugene! I almost got my hair burned off!" Rapunzel fretted as she gathered her hair in her arms.

"Well, at least you didn't get singed." He said, pulling a length of her hair to help her carry it over a fallen tree.

"Yeah I suppose… that's…" She trailed off as her eyes widened.

"What?" Eugene asked. He looked in the direction she was staring and saw it.

On the ground just ahead of them was a tiny blue flame floating just above the ground. Though that wasn't quite what it was. The flame was shaped like a tiny figure with a head and moving arms. It seemed as if it was calling out to them, and if they listened hard enough, they could almost hear it whisper. It moved as if it was motioning for them to follow it.

"What is that?" Eugene asked, shocked by the tiny apparition.

"It's a will-o'-the-wisp. I read about these in a fairytale book at the castle. They're spirits who try to lead people to their fate." Rapunzel seemed entranced by it. She took a step towards the wisp, and three more appeared behind the first. As Eugene cautiously moved to join her, an entire line of will-o'-the-wisps formed, marking the trail for them.

"I'm not so sure this is a good idea." Eugene said uncertainly. He turned to the left of where the wisp appeared. "Maybe we should go this way."

***pop-pop-pop***

The would-be pirate jumped back as the fire burst out ten feet in front of him. He jumped back in shock. He caught his startled breath and looked at the beckoning fire spirits.

"Hmmm…" A thought occurred to him as he looked down at the tiny figure. He turned and walked to the left of the wisps, this time.

***pop-pop-pop***

He jumped back at the first popping sound, watching from a safe distance as the flames erupted from the ground. He then turned to face Rapunzel and the wisps. He stared it down as he walked towards them. Nothing happened.

"They're causing the flame bursts." Eugene voiced his theory.

Rapunzel processed this idea and turned questioningly to the tiny flaming spirit. "They're warning us from going the wrong way."

"Well, then…" Eugene gulped, still leery of the mysterious little sprites. "I guess we better follow them."

* * *

><p>The two of them followed the wisps through the creepy swamp for what seemed like hours. The only sign of life thus far was a pair of squirrels, one of which was strangely blue and had a mustache. They had no way of knowing since the giant trees blocked out the sky and any indication on what time of day it was. Eugene growled, chopping away a huge patch of hanging moss.<p>

"Dah! This place is so dark, you can barely see." He grumbled, swatting away a few strands of moss and leaves.

"Yeah, its so…" Rapunzel's eyes widened in realization. She slapped her forehead in disbelief. "Ugh! Why didn't I think of that sooner?"

"Think of what?" He asked, turning to her.

"Flower gleam and glow…" Rapunzel sang, holding her hair high as the song illuminated the long blonde tresses. The glow lit up the darkened glen, letting them see a path ahead.

"And I'd still like an explanation for the whole glowing hair thing BlonDIEEEEEEEE!." Midway through his sentence, Eugene took a step on a patch of sand and he sank into it as if it were water.

"EUGENE!" Rapunzel screamed as he vanished into the ground. She looked around for any sign of help, but she was alone. She gritted her teeth and threw a loop of her hair around a sturdy tree branch. "Pascal, tie it off!"

The chameleon scampered up her hair and tied it to the branch. Pascal gave Rapunzel a thumbs up as she took a few steps back from the spot where Eugene vanished.

"Pascal, if I don't come back… Find a way out of here and stay safe." Rapunzel jumped into the sand and she disappeared into the ground. The only sign of her was the absurdly long glowing blonde hair tied to a branch.

Pascal gulped as the seconds became minutes that passed so slowly they may as well have been years. Finally, a small hand burst out of the sand and grabbed onto the blonde life line attached to the tree, which was quickly joined by a black gloved hand. The lovers pulled themselves out of the ground, gasping for sweet air.

The crawled away, covered in the sand and coughing violently.

"Well… that was less fun." Eugene groaned.

"Ugh! We're OK, though." Rapunzel coughed, wiping the sand from her face. Pascal scampered down her hair and nuzzled her cheek like there was no tomorrow.

"You… You are somethin' else, Blondie." Eugene said, trying to climb to his feet.

"Was… Was that the quicksand Mother always talked about?" Rapunzel asked as she attempted the arduous task of shaking sand out of all her hair.

"Yeah, 'fraid so." The former pirate sighed. "It's one of the big dangers of the Fire Swamp along with those bursts of fire."

"Oh no…" The princess moaned in frustration. "We'll never get out of here!"

"Nah! I think we got a good chance of findin' our way." Eugene shrugged. "We can avoid the fire blasts since we're following those little blue spark people, and since I _heroically_ discovered what the quicksand looks like, we can avoid that too."

"Yeah? Well, what if we run into more ruffians and thugs?" Rapunzel asked, dipping her hands into a nearby pond to wash away the sand.

"Rapunzel, look around. Nobody's dumb enough to be in this place _on purpose_!"

"Well, what about horrible creatures! Lions, tigers, bears! Large bugs! Monsters!"

"Relax! None of those things would live here. Not enough hunting to stick around for. Lions, hyenas and leopards would be in Africa, tigers would be in India, and bears wouldn't live in a place like this. As for monsters, we're pretty safe. Goons only hang out near the Forbidden Mountain, gwythaints are mostly in Prydain, the Headless Horseman is in America and I don't think the P.O.U.H.'s even exist."

"What are P.O.U.H.'s?" She asked.

"Pachyderms of Unusual Hue." Eugene said offhandedly.

"…What?"

As if in answer to her question, the pond began to bubble. The two of them jumped back, expecting another flash of fire or even a geyser. What they got instead was much more unusual.

A large bubble, larger than the others, began to form in the center of the pond. It suddenly floated out of the water and into the air. Before their eyes, the bubble floated away from the pond and turned a bright pink. The bubble suddenly began to change. Its spherical shape shifted into an odd shape, almost like… the body of an elephant.

"What on Earth?" Rapunzel asked aloud, getting only a disbelieving shake of the head from Eugene and Pascal.

The pink elephant bubble looked at them with its black soulless eyes and grinned. They stepped back at the strange apparition before them. The elephant reared back and blew another bubble from its trunk, creating a second elephant.

"Rapunzel…?" Eugene asked, holding his sword higher. "You see what I see?"

"Yes… but I thought you said they weren't real!"

The four pink elephants grinned and began to blow through their trunks as if they were trumpets. They blew out a low blast and a flash of light swept over the glen.

When the two lovers and one chameleon uncovered their eyes, there were pink elephants everywhere! They came in all shapes and sizes. Some were as large as regular elephants and some were as small as Pascal. Some played musical instruments, others danced around on their hind legs, and others just marched around the glen as they sang.

_"Look out! Look out!_

_"Pink elephants on parade._

_"Here they come!_

_"Hippety hoppety._

_"They're here, and there!_

_"Pink elephants everywhere!"_ The bizarre creatures chanted to their whimsical music.

"OK, I think it's time to go." Rapunzel suggested.

"Yeah." Eugene nodded.

They turned to run, only to be blocked by two giant elephants' heads. _"What'll I do? What'll I do? What an unusual view!"_

"AH!" They jumped back as more elephants surrounded them and marched seemingly on air as they blew through their trunks like trumpets.

_"I could stand the sight of worms._

_"And look at microscopic germs._

_"But technicolor pachyderms._

_"Is really much for me!"_ The elephants sang as their bodies mutated into even more strange shapes. One large elephant smashed three smaller ones with a pair of symbols, creating dozens of smaller ones. Several elephants grew heads on the end of their trunks who winked at each other as they passed. One freakish apparition was an elephant made entirely of other elephant heads.

_"Chase 'em away!_

_"Chase 'em away!_

_"I'm afraid! Need your aid!_

_"Pink elephants on parade!"_ The unnatural pachyderms sang.

"Well, Blondie, looks like we're gonna have to fight our way outta this!" Eugene raised his sword and swung at the nearest elephant.

The creature's head fell from its body and rolled away. …only to suddenly grow a whole new body as its old body sprouted a new head. They two elephants smiled playfully at him and touched their trunks, creating a bolt of lightning. One grabbed the lightning and twirled it like a rope before whipping its counterpart. It exploded into several dozen new dancing elephants.

The pink pachyderm tried to replicate the feat by whipping the lightning bolt at Eugene. The young man raised his hand to block it, but the resulting electrocuting blow threw him ten feet backwards. He hit a tree hard, leaving a dent in the trunk. The lightning blast had burned most of the glove off his hand, leaving a massive scar on his palm. He groaned in pain, letting Rapunzel know he was still alive.

"EUGENE!" Rapunzel cried.

She tried to run to him, but an elephant jumped in front of her and shifted into a snake and chased her in the other direction. It morphed into a series of belly dancing elephants who blocked her path to Eugene.

"ENOUGH!" The elephants stopped their other worldly frolicking and reared at the voice. A short, cloaked figure swung into the midst of the creatures. The figure spoke in a high-pitched voice, "You boys should pick on someone your own size!"

The figure waved his hand and a very unusual sword appeared in his hand with a flash of light. The creatures cringed at the figure's blade, which resembled a giant key.

The figure threw of his cloak, revealing a large mouse. He flipped into the air, swinging the sword-key into a pink elephant. It exploded into pink sparkles and vanished.

This caused the elephants to start what in their random logic might be called a stampede. They suddenly abandoned all pretenses of playful dance and frolicking and entered a state of absolute chaos. They zoomed around the glen, knocking the mouse into a tree. The sword-key flew to the ground near Eugene.

He saw what the weird key weapon did to these things, and hoped his skills at swordsmanship would help him in battle. He grabbed the sword-key and jumped into the fray. He sliced through the air as elephants zoomed past him. They exploded into nothingness as he sliced his way to Rapunzel.

"Blondie!" Eugene called over the chaos.

"Eugene!" She called, jumping out of the way of a zooming elephant.

They ran towards each other and held on to each other as the elephants blasted and raced across the glen in an increasingly frenzied pace. The otherworldly elephants raced all towards the pond they emerged from.

**KABOOM!**

The explosion sent the pink elephants everywhere. They seemed to fall in slow motion, vanishing as they did. Finally only one remained. It fell towards the pond and reformed into the giant bubble that started the whole mess. Rapunzel glared at it and picked up Eugene's sword. With a huff, she poked the bubble with the blade, popping it.

"And stay gone." She growled.

"Wow! That was somethin' huh?" The two lovers turned towards the high voice of the giant mouse. Eugene raised the key-sword in defense.

"Are you friendly?" He asked.

"Well gosh! Of course!" The mouse giggled. "I tried to help you two after all."

"He's right Eugene. He did." Rapunzel reminded him, laying a hand on his shoulder.

"Well… OK then." He lowered the strange sword.

"Great! Now, can I have my Keyblade back, please?" The mouse asked, putting his hand out.

"Oh, uh, yeah." Eugene passed the so-called Keyblade to the mouse. "Weird look for a sword, but it sure worked on those crazy things."

"Actually, those elephants are part of why I'm here." The mouse explained, taking the Keyblade.

"What?" Rapunzel asked.

"This swamp is full of magic, and it's accidentally created cracks that lead to other worlds." The mouse explained, holding the blade up. "That's what brought the elephants here; they got through the cracks from whatever crazy world they were from."

"So, they'll come back?" Eugene asked.

"Nope. Once I do this, the Keyhole will be shut and nothing will be able to get in." The mouse raised the Keyblade and pointed it to the sky. A beam of light shot into the sky, as Rapunzel and Eugene watched in disbelief. The light created a large keyhole in the sky made of light and magic before vanishing.

"Wow…" The two lovers watched in awe.

"Yeah, you get used to it after a while. Ha ha!" The mouse chuckled.

"Well, thanks, Mr. Mouse…" Rapunzel said, reaching out to shake his hand.

"No problem, Miss…" The mouse waved his over-sized gloved hand.

"Oh, I'm Rapunzel. And this is Eug…"

"The Dread Pirate Flynn Rider." Eugene cut her off, not wanting his real name to become common knowledge. "And you are…"

"Oh, gosh! I'm King Mickey, but you can skip the 'king' part. Everyone does." The mouse proudly slung the Keyblade over his shoulder. "And I really gotta get goin'. Kingdom Hearts won't find itself!"

"Uh… sure it won't." Eugene ventured, hoping he sound like he knew what he was talking about.

"I'll see you folks!" The mouse king waved as he turned to leave.

"Wait!" Rapunzel called. "Do you know the way out of here?"

"Nope, but try following those little blue fire people." King Mickey pointed behind them. A will-o'-the-wisp floated there and called for them. They turned back and noticed another trail of wisps ahead of the mouse, leading back the way they came. "They lead me to you two; maybe they'll lead you two out of here. Well, see ya real soon!"

The mouse waved to them before turning and following the second trail of wisps into the swamp. They waved back and followed their own way.

"Well, I gotta say, I never expected to run into a herd of Pachyderms of Unusual Hue and a Rodent of Unusual Size wielding a giant key." Rapunzel chuckled.

"Wasn't on my list today either." Eugene shrugged as they walked through the woods.

* * *

><p>After a while, they noticed that the trees were looking more and more ordinary compared to the gnarled twisted trees of the Fire Swamp. Before long, they could even see the sky. Twilight was falling and it would soon be too dark to travel, so they picked up their pace. By the time they reached the edge of the forest, night had fallen and the stars had just begun to appear. The trail of wisps led them to the top of a small hill overlooking a tiny beach and the ocean beyond. The last wisp disappeared as they looked out over the endless expanse of water. Rapunzel's eyes widened at the magnificent sight before her. She had never had time to admire such beauty before. Any opportunity she had to enjoy the scenery over the previous day was ruined by the constant running and attempts on their lives. Now, in the dark and peaceful stillness of the night, she basked in the simple natural beauty.<p>

"Blondie, look." Eugene pointed down the shoreline and Rapunzel's breath caught in her throat.

Down the shore was an island. The thin bridge connected to the mainland led to the island and into a city. The buildings on the small, hilly isle surrounded a tall, magnificent castle. They had made it to Corona City!

"We made… WE MADE IT!" Rapunzel cheered grabbing Eugene's hand in excitement.

"AH!" Eugene yelped in pain. She had accidentally grabbed the hand the pink elephants had burned.

"Oh, Eugene!" She gasped, staring at his scared hand.

"It's OK." He said, trying not to wince in pain. "I'll get to a doctor or something in the morning. Let's just get a fire going."

They grabbed a few stray logs and branches and built a small fire on the edge of the shore. They sat on a large log and took a minute to catch their breaths. It had been the longest, most insane day in their lives, and they enjoyed their well-deserved rest.

"Hey!" Rapunzel suddenly turned to Eugene. "In all the excitement, I never asked, how exactly _are_ you the Dread Pirate Flynn Rider, anyway? He's been plundering for decades and you've only been gone five years! And how are you even alive? The stories say the Dread Pirate Flynn Rider never leaves survivors."

"No survivors? Then where would the stories come from?" Eugene smirked cheekily at her confusion.

"Well… um…"

"The stories don't say he never leaves survivors, they say he never _takes prisoners_." He explained.

"What's the difference?" She asked.

"See, that's the thing! Most people wouldn't see any difference. See, here's what he did. Whenever he attacked ships, he'd rob the ship blind, but he never killed anyone and _never_ held anyone prisoner. Once he finished robbing them blind, he'd say they caught him in a good mood and let them leave. But he would always say that if he ever heard even the slightest rumor that the stories of him never taking prisoners weren't true, he'd know who told and he'd hunt them down and burn their hometowns to the ground."

"So, he _literally_ never takes prisoners." She said with dawning comprehension.

"Exactly."

"But, then how did you end up… becoming him?" Rapunzel frowned.

"Actually, it's kind of a funny story." Eugene laughed ruefully. "See, I was on that ship your mom set me up with. Things had been good for a few weeks and then the pirates attacked. Remember what I said about saying 'Please'?"

"Yeah."

"Well, that was true. He was intrigued and took me to his cabin. He said, 'All right, Eugene, I need a valet. You're it until I decide to kill you.' So, I became his valet and for two years, every day ended with him saying, Goodnight, Eugene. Good work. Sleep well. I'll most likely kill you in the morning.' In the meantime, he taught me everything he knew about piracy, and a few other skills. Sailing, fencing, fighting, how to think on my feet. And then, one day, it happened."

"What?"

"Flynn had gotten so rich, he decided to retire. So, he pulled me into his cabin and told me, 'I'm _not_ the Dread Pirate Flynn Rider, my name is Naveen.'"

"…WHAT?!"

"That's exactly what _I _said." He laughed, shaking his head at the surreal memory. "He told me the whole secret story. Flynnagin Rider was a great hero and made his fortune on his exploits. He became known as the Dread Pirate Flynn Rider when he became a privateer, a sort of pirate fighting for the cause in the Great War. After the war ended, he realized he enjoyed the pirating life so much that he kept it up. He targeted other pirates, corrupt merchants, slave ships, anyone on the sea who caused trouble. He got to keep pirating and still be a hero. Until one day, he got too old to keep it up.

"When he retired, he left his ship and even the name of the Dread Pirate Flynn Rider to his first mate, a guy named Phillip. The _name_ was the important thing since he had such an infamous reputation. After all, nobody's gonna surrender to the Dread Pirate _Eugene_. So, the title was passed down from captain to captain, each becoming the Dread Pirate Flynn Rider when the last one hung up his cutlass."

"And the whole costume with the mask was to keep people from getting a good idea of what Flynn Rider looks like!" She finished.

"Bingo, Blondie. So, we went ashore, and got an entirely new crew. Only this time, _I_ was in the pirate get up and Naveen stayed on for a while as my first mate, always calling _me_ Flynn. Since then, I've been pirating the seas, seeking my fortune."

"But… if you were free to come back, why didn't you?"

"Well… for one, it was just so much fun." He shrugged nonchalantly. She glared at him, not having any of it. "And the other part… Well, you heard what your mother said. An orphaned stable boy without a penny to his name isn't exactly the first in line to court a future countess… or _princess_ as the case may be. I figured I'd go with the old plan and come back once I'd pirated _my_ fortune."

"…As a pirate?" She asked, skeptically.

"Well, I kept up the tradition of only attacking pirates and boats that deserved it! Does that give me any points?"

"Nope." She shook her head, smirking at him.

"Well, whatever. Doesn't matter anyway. Since we've found each other again, I'll retire and hand off the title to somebody else." Eugene shrugged. "Oh, you can't tell anyone about this, okay? It would ruin the Dread Pirate Flynn Rider's reputation."

"Ah, we wouldn't want that." She teased.

"Well, a fake reputation is all a man has." He clapped his injured hand on his knee without thinking. "OW!"

"Ooh, your hand." She said sympathetically as she really got a good look at it. His skin was red and raw, covered in fresh burns and blisters. It almost made her own hand sting just thinking of how much pain he must have been in.

"Yeah, don't worry. We'll swing by a doctor in town tomorrow." He tried to bravely wave it aside.

"Actually, I think I can help it right now." She smiled brightly.

"Uh, no offense, Blondie, but unless you can also make medicine appear with your magic glowing hair, I'm…"

"It doesn't just glow."

"…What?" He looked at her, confused and slightly curious of what she meant by that. Pascal crawled onto her shoulder and gave Eugene an enigmatic grin. "Why is he smiling at me?"

"Just… give me your hand." She ordered, holding out her own hand to him.

"Uh… OK." She took his burned hand and, to his confusion, began wrapping it in her hair. He watched her intently as she focused on her task of completely wrapping his hand up in her golden locks.

"So, you're being strangely cryptic as you wrap your magic hair around my injured hand. Ah!" He hissed in pain as she finished covering his last visible finger.

"_Sorry!_" She winced in apology. "Just… don't freak out…"

She closed her eyes and began singing.

"Flower gleam and glow,

Let your power shine,

"Make the clock reverse,

"Bring back what once was mine.

"Heal what has been hurt.

"Change the fate's design.

"Save what has been lost.

"Bring back what was once was mine.

"What once was mine."

As she sang the golden light flooded through her impossibly long hair. Eugene watched in apprehension as the ethereal glow wound round the campsite and towards the section wrapped around his hand. Pascal grinned at him and pointed to his left paw, as if the lizard knew something he didn't. He felt a strange tingle and warmth in his hand as the hair glowed. He turned to Pascal for an explanation, and the lizard just nodded sagely at him. When she finished singing and the glow died, he slowly removed the hair from his hand.

His eyes widened in shock. His hand had been healed! The scars and blisters were gone. There wasn't even any sign of irritation or redness. He looked at her in bewilderment at the miracle before him, trying in vain to hold off the scream building in his chest.

_"Please don't freak out!"_ She blurted out, cringing at his terrified reaction.

His mouth was wide open, but no sound escaped his throat except a strangled wheeze. He tried to cover it and be as casual as possible. "Uh… _I'm not freaking out, are you freaking out?!_ No, I'm just very interested in your hair and the magical qualities that it possesses, how long has it been able to do that exactly?"

He wasn't very convincing.

"Uh… forever, I guess?" Rapunzel shrugged sheepishly. "Mother says that when I was a baby, people tried to cut it. They wanted to take it for themselves."

Eugene watched as she brushed her hair towards the back of her neck. Hidden under the golden blonde was one short lock of brown hair. "But once it's cut, it turns brown and loses its power."

"Huh…:" He stared at the tiny chestnut lock of hair before it was once again buried under the forest of golden hair.

"A gift like that… has to be protected. That's why Mother never let me… that's is why I never left…"

"You never left your mother's manor grounds before the prince proposed." Eugene finished.

"Yeah…" She sighed, idly twisting a stand of her hair.

"You're… You're not thinking of… going back?"

"No! …Yes… Kind of… I don't know! I don't want to go back and marry Walter, but I don't want to just disappear and never see Mother again or not even give Walter an explanation. I mean… even if I don't want to live the life they have planned, they do care about me and how would they react if I suddenly vanished and they had no idea where I was for years and… It's complicated. "She groaned as she hid her face in her hands. "How about we get through tomorrow and then we can start thinking of what to do after that?"

"Sounds good to me, Blondie." Eugene shrugged.

"Great…" Rapunzel sighed and pulled her hair like she usually did when she was nervous.

They sat in awkward silence for a long time, not knowing what to say or do.

"So! Hey can I ask you something? Is there any chance that I'm going to get super strength in my hand?." He asked out of the blue. She looked up in confusion at his non sequitur question. "Because I'm not gonna lie, that would be stupendous. I mean, because here's the thing, "Superhuman good looks…I've always had them, born with it, but superhuman _strength_? Can you imagine the _possibilities _of this?"

She laughed at his silly question and the mood had lightened considerably. They chatted for a while, feeling before finally turning in for the night. Eugene curled up on a nearby rock and fell asleep almost immediately. Rapunzel lay down, wrapping herself up in a cocoon of her hair as a blanket. Pascal grabbed a stray lock or two to make his own as he curled up on the ground next to her.

Rapunzel smiled as she lay gazed off towards the kingdom. Tomorrow night, she would finally see the lanterns. All these years and it was so close she could almost taste it. She lazily looked back towards the extinguished fire as the last bit of smoke floated away on a light breeze. She gasped, startled as a flash of blue flame appeared above the charred logs. A will-o'-the-wisp floated there, motioning for her to follow. As before a trail of the tiny wisps appeared, leading towards the island city. Rapunzel gulped as the implication settled in: whatever her destiny was, she would find it in Corona.

* * *

><p>AU: Glad you guys are sticking with me after all this time. Sorry this took so long. I couldn't decide what the monster for the Fire Swamp would be for the longest time. Then this idea hit me and I knew it would be interesting. Hopefully this makes up for taking so long. I'll try to be faster with the next chapter.<p>

Oh and be sure to hit the shiny review button if you like what you see. ;)


	11. I See The Light

**Chapter 11: I See The Light**

* * *

><p>Eugene winced as he felt a drop of water on his face. He was roused from his sleep and looked up to see if it was raining or something. Instead, he found himself looking at the muzzle of a very wet and very angry white horse. Maximas' breathes were coming quick and hard, as if the noble stallion could barely contain his rage.<p>

"Well, I hope you're here to apologize." Eugene sarcastically quipped, turned away and shutting his eyes.

Rapunzel jumped awake at the sound of Eugene screaming. Pascal turned a threatening red as he looked for the source of the noise. They watched in shock as Maximus grabbed Eugene by his boot and began swinging him around the glen. Rapunzel jumped up and ran to Eugene. She grabbed his arms and tried pulling him out of Maximus' grasp.

"Gimme him!" Rapunzel yelled to Max.

_"Is it me or have we done this before, Blondie?!" _Eugene yelled over Maximus' growling.

"Maximus! Let! Him! GO!" Rapunzel shouted with such vehemence, that Max's jaw dropped in shock, sending her and Eugene to the ground.

Max just stared at the humans in confusion. Rapunzel was kidnapped yesterday, ergo she needed saving. So, why was she so against the idea of him trying to help her and deal with the evil brute that was holding her captive? He pointed his hoof at Eugene and neighed angrily.

"He's not trying to kidnap me!" Rapunzel explained as she stood up.

Maximus snorted and pointed to his clothes.

"I _know_ he looks like a pirate, but he's _not_ dangerous." She sternly replied.

"This horse just has a vendetta against me." Eugene glared at Max and got a glare in return from both the horse and Rapunzel.

"You're not helping, Eugene." She grumbled. Maximus neighed inquisitively. "Oh, _this_ is Eugene."

The horse turned to the man and squinted, scrutinizing him to see if Rapunzel was indeed correct. His eyes widened in recognition as he realized the resemblance.

"Hey." Eugene waved sarcastically.

Max turned to Rapunzel, excitedly neighing for an explanation.

"He wasn't killed by the Dread Pirate Flynn Rider, he was just taken prisoner by him. And, then he kinda became him and…" She explained, but she stopped short as Maximus whinnied angrily at the last admission. She jumped between the horse and her true love. "He's not a pirate anymore, and he didn't kidnap me! He came back and rescued me from the ones who _did_ kidnap me."

Maximus looked at the former pirate, not sure if he believed her or not. Even if it were true, he'd never been too fond of the old stable boy.

"Look, today is kinda the biggest day of my life, cause I'll finally see the floating lights tonight," Rapunzel looked Maximus in the eye. Eugene stood up and glared at the offending horse. "And the thing is I need you _not_ to kill him or get him arrested."

Maximus snorted in irritation.

"Just for 24 hours, and then you two can fight to your heart's content, okay?" Rapunzel looked between the two of them.

Eugene sighed and put out his hand out in an offer of peace. Max raised an eyebrow and turned away, not willing to accept a former pirate.

"And it's also my birthday." Rapunzel casually mentioned, grinning at Max. "In case you forgot."

Max finally let a defeated sigh and extended his hoof to Eugene. They shook on their shaky truce for her sake. Rapunzel was about to say more, but the distant sound of music caught her attention. She wandered down the path, entranced by the sound, while Eugene and Max stared after her.

"Oof!" Eugene fell over as Max hoofed him in the stomach. "Stupid horse."

Max whinnied in laughter as he galloped after Rapunzel. By the time Eugene caught up, she was standing at the bridge that led to the city. The bustling city surrounding the majestic castle seemed like something out of a fairy tale to her. She grinned like a kid in a candy store, hardly able to stand still. Even the way she walked was full of barely restrained glee.

As they passed over the bridge, Eugene noticed a wanted poster of the Dread Pirate Flynn Rider. He snatched it off the wall and crumpled it up. Max glowered at him for his misdeed, which only prompted Eugene to stuff the poster in the horse's mouth. Max merely spat the poster back into his face and the two of them were at each other's necks within seconds. However, the scuffle was interrupted by a sudden chirping noise. Pascal angrily pointed at them, chirping in a tone that could universally be interpreted as "Knock it off, you morons!"

Rapunzel looked at the town square in wonder. There were so many people everywhere; mothers and fathers out with their children, people hanging decorations, merchants shouting out for everyone to buy their wares, and others on hundreds of different journeys to different destinations. There were dozens of buildings decorated with wreaths and flags. It looked like a holiday of some sort was going on. She tried to move forward, but she was inexperienced with actually moving through crowds. She ended up having to jump back or ahead to get out of people's way, and her hair trailing behind her didn't help matters. Eugene ran up to her, picking up the long tresses as he went. They ended up standing there with their arms full of golden hair with no idea how to deal with it.

Suddenly, Eugene noticed something; there were four little red haired girls sitting by a fountain braiding each other's hair. He gave a quick whistle, getting the girls' attention.

"Hey, girls," Eugene called, holding up the arm full of hair. "Care for a challenge?"

* * *

><p>"Hey, Jodie, Paige, Anika, and Mandy are in this story too!" Zachary pointed out.<p>

"Shhh!" Rose shushed her brother.

* * *

><p>The girls gasped in delight and hurried over, eager to begin.<p>

"I've never seen so much hair before!" Jodie, the oldest of the sisters, squealed as she grabbed a length of hair and held it out in delighted shock at the sheer amount of it.

"How do you walk with all of it like that?" Anika asked.

"Do you get tangled in it when you sleep?" Mandy asked without waiting for Anika's question to be answered.

Paige, the second oldest frowned at her sisters. "Anika, Mandy, that's not nice."

"I'm just sayin', she's probably lived in a tower all her life to grow her hair out like this!" Mandy giggled.

"Mandy!"

"Oh, something like that." Rapunzel couldn't help giggle herself at their reaction to her hair. "Do you think you can help me with it, please?"

"Sure! We do it to each other all the time." Anika smiled.

"And sometimes we practice on our mom and big brother." Mandy smiled.

"And once on our daddy's mustache, but we had a hard time getting the ribbons out." The girls _and_ Rapunzel all giggled at that.

"Well, seems you're in good hands. I'm gonna go find an outfit that doesn't scream "I'm a pirate" to the world. Catch you later, Blondie." Eugene snuck out to find something to change into and somewhere to change.

The four girls shared a knowing look as he walked away "Ooooh!"

"Is he your boyfriend?" Paige asked excitedly.

"Is he really a pirate?" Mandy practically bounced in place.

"Well... something like that." Rapunzel smiled, not letting his fake reputation be ruined.

'What's your name, pretty lady?" Anika shyly asked.

"Oh, it's Rapunzel." She replied.

"Did you come here to see the lanterns today, Rapunzel?" Paige asked,

"Yes, I did. I've been waiting my whole life to see them." Rapunzel smiled dreamily.

"Lots of people come from everywhere just to see them. China, France, America, Arendelle..." OPaige smiled. "Well, then let's make sure you look your best when you see 'em! All right, let's get to work. Anika, help me separate her hair into fours. Jodie, Mandy, go find some ribbons. Make sure they're strong ones!

"And lots of flowers! If you want, maybe we can put some in your hair." Jodie nodded.

"That would be lovely, thank you."

"Ok, girls, grab some hair and let's start braiding!" Jodie excitedly declared.

"Yeah!"

They went to a small courtyard and the girls got to work. Rapunzel sat on the ground while the girls danced and jumped across the long blonde hair like a jump rope as they braided it over and over. And while the little girls helped Rapunzel, Eugene took the opportunity to slip into an abandoned building with his new outfit he "borrowed" from a clothesline. He finished changing just as the girls finished braiding Rapunzel's hair. He caught sight of her and suddenly found he couldn't move.

Her hair was now in one huge braid that reached all the way to her feet. It was decorated with every sort of flower the girls could find. The way her stylist braided her hair at home was quick, simple and purely for practical purposes. These girls braided her hair with the intention of making her look pretty, and judging by goofy, loves truck grin on Eugene's face, they succeeded.

"Oh, thank you!" Rapunzel said as she happily twirled around, showing off the girls' handiwork. "Eugene, look!"

She turned to him and suddenly she couldn't move either. His black pirate getup was switched out for a white shirt under a teal vest and brown trousers. Somehow, this new set of clothes seemed to fit him. It brought back memories of the simple outfit he wore when he was a mere stable boy.

The two of them just stared at each other, too entranced by the sight of each other to speak or move forward. Finally, Rapunzel found her voice. "Um, your new clothes look really… _nice_ on you."

"Huh?" Eugene asked dumbly. "Oh! Uh, thanks! Yeah… and your hair looks… wow!"

"Thanks." She blushed, grinning sheepishly.

"Thanks. I mean, 'you're welcome!' Why'd I say thanks?" Eugene said, embarrassed as he stumbled over his words.

The four girls grinned and giggled at their reactions to each other and how they talked.

"Oh, and thank you for your time, girls." Eugene turned to the girls.

"Yes, you did a really great job!" Rapunzel smiled at them

"You're welcome." The oldest said, trying not to laugh.

"Well, we better get goin'. We got lots to see before the lanterns tonight." Eugene motioned at the marketplace.

"All right…" She turned to leave, but an idea suddenly struck her. "Hey, girls?"

"Yes, ma'am?" They said in unison.

"Since you did such a good job, how would you like a ride on Maximus?" She asked, getting squeals of delight from the girls.

The horse himself grinned in approval. It had been a long time since he'd done anything as simple as a pony ride. He leaned down and let the girls pet his muzzle. Pascal suddenly felt a little jealous and scampered down Rapunzel's shoulder and jumped onto the youngest girl's head.

"Oh, hello." She said, reaching up and taking Pascal in both her hands.

"That's Pascal. He's a chameleon." Rapunzel explained, prompting Pascal to change into a rainbow of color before the girl's very eyes.

"Can we play with him too?" The second youngest girl asked.

"Well…" Rapunzel playfully pretended to think it over. "All right. We'll be back to pick them up later."

"Yay!" The girls cheered as they

"Let's go!" She excitedly grabbed his hand and dashed off into the city.

They spent nearly twenty minutes running from shop to shop, Rapunzel couldn't stand still seeing so many wonderful things all at once and kept running to the next within seconds.

Finally, they stopped at a stand for lunch. While they waited in line, Rapunzel noticed a small crowd gathered near a mosaic along the city wall. It depicted a man and woman in royal finery, presumably the King and Queen of Corona. They stood close together, holding a baby girl between them. That must be the princess Eugene said had gone missing. She listened and caught snippets of conversations in the crowd.

"Maybe this will be the year." A young woman whispered to her beau.

"It's been _so_ long since she was taken." An older woman observed.

"What if she never comes back?" A man wondered aloud.

"It'll break the King and Queen's hearts." Another man answered sadly as he removed his cap.

"Well, we'll keep searching and send up the lanterns like we do every year." A soldier whispered to another. "It's all we _can_ do."

"It's for the Lost Princess." A little girl explained to her toddler brother, as she set a single purple flower amongst a large assortment of bouquets left as tribute to the princess.

Rapunzel sighed as she stared at the mosaic, feeling saddened by their words. How could a world so beautiful have such sadness in it? She hoped that they would find their princess, wherever she was. The picture of the baby seemed to call to her. The princess' golden hair and green eyes stirred something in her mind, but she couldn't quite put her finger on it.

* * *

><p>"I bet <em>she's<em> the Lost Princess." Zachary whispered to his sister.

"Totally." Rose nodded.

* * *

><p>Rapunzel's thoughts were interrupted by the sound of music. A trio of minstrels marched through the square, playing an upbeat tune on a flute, lute and guitar. It was too enthralling for her to resist. When Eugene finally turned around from buying lunch, he saw Rapunzel dancing across the square. He laughed lightly at the childlike glee and freedom in her dancing.<p>

The four braid girls rode up with Maximus and Pascal to watch the dancing. Rapunzel had started an impromptu dance party in the square and more and more people found themselves drawn into it. Eugene crossed his arms and watched Rapunzel's handiwork. She waved at him to join in the fun, but he waved a hand.

"Sorry, Blondie, I don't dance." He shrugged.

"That's what _he_ thinks." Said the oldest of the sisters. Max gave Eugene a shove, sending him into the line of sight of a lady who pulled him into the heart of the dance. Maximus, Pascal and the four girls shared a laugh as the dance went on. It wasn't the last dance Rapunzel would start up that day.

After the third dance finally wound down, they went on a tour of Corona City. After spending an hour in the library, looking at everything from encyclopedias to fairytale books, Eugene noticed a young boy selling little flags as souvenirs.

"Hey, I'll take one." He said, tossing the boy a coin.

"Thank you, sir." The boy handed out a little flag.

"Here, Blondie." Eugene said, handing her the flag.

"Oh, thank you!" She held the tiny flag up to the light. The golden sun on the field of purple hit a nerve of inspiration. "I want to paint this!"

"Well, I think I saw an art supplies store back the…" She cut him off as she pulled him in the direction he was pointing. Instead of paint, she got a pack of chalk and proceeded to draw a massive mural on the square depicting people dancing in the purple field around the bright yellow sun. She smiled at her handiwork, covered in chalk and not caring in the slightest.

Before long, yet another dance started. The two lovers passed each other several times, but kept being pulled away by other people before they had the chance to dance together. Ironically, they finally reached each other just at the instant the song ended.

"To the boats!" A voice cried. The two broke apart, realizing the sun was setting. The lanterns would be launched soon.

"Come on, I got something lined up." Eugene nodded towards the docks.

"All right." Rapunzel grinned excitedly.

The two of them wandered towards the edge of the island, running into the four braid girls, Maximus and Pascal playing in the square.

"Hey, girls! Have fun?" Rapunzel asked, leaning down to them.

"Lots of fun, did you?" Said the youngest girl asked.

"Oh yes, thank you." She said, patting the girl on the head.

"Come on, we gotta get our lanterns ready." The oldest sister said to her sisters. "Thank you, miss!"

The girls waved and went off to meet their parents. The high spirited girl and her former pirate went off with their animal friends. Sunset was fast approaching and they needed to hurry. Eugene had gotten a small gondola, figuring that the best place to watch the lanterns would be out on the water.

Eugene rowed the gondola away from the dock, Maximus watching them curiously.

"Hey Max!" Eugene grinned and tossed a small sack of apples on the dock at Max's hooves.

The horse snorted and gave the man a dubious glare. Whether they were his favorite or not, he was a horse of character and wouldn't eat ill-gotten food.

"What? I _bought_ them!" Eugene called back. This satisfied Max, who began happily munching the apples. "_Most_ of them!"

The horse stopped mid bite and looked at the fruit in a slight panic, just as Eugene had planned.

"Where are we going?" Rapunzel asked, giving him a halfhearted glare for his trick on Max.

"Well, best day of your life? I figure you should have a decent seat." Eugene explained, setting Pascal on a little seat of his own at the back of the boat.

They rowed out into the bay, far enough away that they had a view of the entire island city and the ships surrounding it. When the lanterns went up, they would have a perfect view of the entire display. By the time they reached their perfect spot, the sun had gone down. The ceremony would begin any moment.

As they looked out over the water, Rapunzel sighed and felt a twinge of fear and anxiety.

"You okay?" Eugene asked, noticing her change in demeanor.

"I'm _terrified_." She meekly whispered, shivering in anticipation and fear.

"Why?" He asked couldn't begin to understand why she would be afraid of finally living her dream of seeing the lanterns.

"I've been looking out a window for eighteen years, _dreaming_ about what it might feel like when those lights rise in the sky." She looked up in the sky, almost seeing the lights in her mind's eye. "What if it's _not_ everything that I dreamed it would be?"

"It _will_ be." Eugene said, putting a comforting hand on hers.

"And what if it is? What do I do then?" She looked up at him, trying to figure out where to do from there. All her life, she had one goal, one dream: see the lights. What would happen when that dream came true? What would she do about Walter or her mother? What would happen between her and Eugene? Where would they go? What would they do?

"Well that's the good part, I guess. You get to go find a _new_ dream." He said, smiling coyly at her. "Besides, I seem to remember telling you once that this could just be our _first_ adventure."

Rapunzel smiled, feeling a little better. She could find a new dream. That would be exciting. Though, deep down, she knew she had already found it.

Meanwhile, up at the castle, the King and Queen walked out to the balcony. Before them was a lantern. On its side was the royal emblem of the sun. They had launched one just like it the day their daughter was born. Then, a mysterious kidnapper entered their chambers and stole their princess away. For eighteen years, they had searched. They had asked for aid from their longtime allies, but it had never yielded any results.

The lanterns sent up on her birthday had continued as a gesture of hope, but after eighteen years, that hope had faded. They were thankful for their people's love and support in their efforts to find their daughter, but there had still been no sign of her. For all they knew, the ceremony was little more than a memorial and their Lost Princess was truly lost to them forever. Yet, they still sent their lantern up into the air, each sending their silent prayer that it would bring her home...

* * *

><p>"Grandpa?" Zachary anxiously asked. "Are you okay?"<p>

During the last few sentences, the royal children noticed a change in their grandfather's demeanor. He suddenly seemed so tired and sad. His voice had grown thick, as if holding back tears. Rose thought she even _saw_ a tear run down his cheek.

"Grandpa?" Rose ventured, patting his arm. "Grandpa, what's wrong?"

"Ahem!" The King shook his head and cleared his throat. He quickly rubbed the moisture from his eyes, not wanting to revisit those old feelings. "I'm fine, children. This part of my… of the _story_ just gets to me."

"Then, can we skip this part?" Zach asked, hopefully.

"No, we _can't_!" Rose pleaded. "Rapunzel's finally gonna see the lights she's been excited about since the beginning! We can't skip that!"

"No, indeed we can't." The King said, clearing his throat again. "Now then…"

* * *

><p>The yearly ceremony to light the Lost Princess' way home was set in motion. As the royal lantern rose into the air, the people below began to light their own lanterns. Down through the streets of the city, the lights spread all the way to the docks. It wasn't so different from the light that Eugene saw go through Rapunzel's hair, a light born to heal what was hurt and bring back what was lost. The signal went out to the ships to light their own loads of lanterns.<p>

Out in the bay, a single gondola sat waiting for the lights.

The two lovers in the boat idly placed flowers in the water as they waited. Rapunzel stared at the reflection of the castle in the water, until a flicker of light caught her attention. She looked up and saw the first lantern rise, followed by several dozen lifting off from the castle. She jumped in excitement, almost capsizing the boat. She clambered to the bow of the gondola, watching the lanterns rise. Hundreds rose from the island and the surrounding ships. Within seconds, the sky was filled with thousands of yellow marshmallow shaped lights.

Rapunzel watched the lights, spellbound by the beauty of the display. For eighteen years, she dreamed of this moment, and it was everything she wanted it to be and more. She stood at the bow, smiling through tears as the sky filled with the golden glow. She was so enthralled that she didn't even realize she had started singing.

"All those days watching from the windows  
>"All those years outside looking in<br>"All that time never even knowing  
>"Just how blind I've been<br>"Now I'm here, blinking in the starlight  
>"Now I'm here, suddenly I see<br>"Standing here, it's all so clear  
>"I'm where I'm meant to be<p>

"And at last I see the light  
>"And it's like the fog has lifted<br>"And at last I see the light  
>"And it's like the sky is new<br>"And it's warm and real and bright  
>"And the world has somehow shifted…"<p>

She sighed happily before turning back to Eugene. He held out two lanterns of their own to launch.

She finished her verse as she sat back down. "All at once everything looks different  
>"Now that I see you."<p>

She went over and sat across from him. He grinned at the joy in her eyes. "Enjoying the show?"

"Yeah. I can't wait for our next adventure." She smiled back at him.

They lifted their lanterns into the air. They sailed up, circling each other, as if they were dancing together. He watched them disappear amongst the thousands of others all around them. The lanterns rose and fell all around the gondola, and with the still water's reflection, it seemed as if they were floating in space among a million tiny suns. Yet, Eugene only looked at her. He started singing under his breath as he watched her.

"All those days chasing down a daydream.  
>"All those years living in a blur.<br>"All that time never truly seeing  
>"Things, the way they were." He sang in whispered tones, relishing her excitement.<p>

"Now she's here shining in the starlight  
>"Now she's here, suddenly I know.<p>

Rapunzel pointed out towards a particularly large lantern that floated right towards them. The way it floated, it was clearly set to hit the water. She couldn't have that. She reached for it, stretching out over the water and catching it in her hand. She failed to notice the royal sun symbol on the side as she gave the King and Queen's lantern a boost. It floated up, higher and higher and was blown back towards the island.

"If she's here it's crystal clear,  
>"I'm where I'm meant to go."<p>

He took her hand to get her attention. However, he already got it by unknowingly singing the last two verses loud enough for her to hear.

"And at last I see the light." They sang together.

"And it's like the fog is lifted." Eugene sang, holding her hands in his own.

"And at last I see the light," They sang again.

"And it's like the sky is new." Rapunzel sang back, scooting closer to him.

"And it's warm and real and bright  
>"And the world has somehow shifted." They stared into each other's eyes, forgetting even the lanterns' beauty.<p>

"All at once, everything is different  
>"Now that I see you,<br>"Now that I see you." They sang

Eugene brushed a stray hair behind her ear as she stared into his eyes. He cupped her cheek as they leaned closer to each other. Pascal turned a bright red and covered his eyes as they drew closer for…

* * *

><p>"No. No, no, no!" Zachary whined.<p>

"Zach! They were getting to the best part!" Rose whined right back. Pascal whirring in frustration at the siblings' fighting. "Go ahead, Grandpa."

"No, Grandpa, please! _Please_ skip this part!" Zach begged. "Anything's better than listening to this mushy, sappy, kissy-"

_"EXCUSE ME!" _Came a _very_ unexpected voice.

* * *

><p>"Do you <em>mind<em>, young man?" Rapunzel glared at the interruption. "This is the biggest moment of my life and you're ruining it!"

"Yeah, kid, pipe down!" Eugene crossed his arms in annoyance. "We're trying to have a moment here!"

* * *

><p>Zachary and Rose sat stunned in their beds. Pascal's eyes would have probably popped out of his head in shock if he hadn't fainted at the unexpected interruption. Even their grandfather held the book out at arm's length in surprise. He turned it over in his hands and flipped through the pages, trying to figure out <em>how<em> that just happened.

"Uh… s-sorry…" Zachary mumbled, still staring apprehensively at the book.

"Di-did that _really_ just happen?" Rose asked, trying to comprehend what she had just heard.

"Yes it did." The King chuckled in awe. "I _told_ you this was a special book. Well, um, back to the story, I suppose."

* * *

><p><strong>Author's note:<strong> Sorry it took so long. Things were busy, especially with Christmas coming up. I can't believe it's been a year since I started this story. I started it just to kill time and then it turned into its own so much for everyone who's read, followed, favorited and recommended this story all this time.

I feel the need to apologize for this chapter. Again, it's mostly just the same as the movie. I promise the next update will be better. I got a few plans for that chapter that I hope will be fun and entertaining.

Until then, Happy Holidays, everyone! And if you want to give _me_ a gift, I always like reviews.


	12. The Pit of Despair

**Chapter 12: The Pit of Despair**

* * *

><p>The two lovers were so engrossed in each other; they didn't notice that their gondola had drifted to the shore near the forest. They only looked up when the boat ran aground.<p>

"Heh-heh, whoops!" Eugene said sheepishly. He jumped out of the boat and went to the rear of it. "Don't worry; we'll be back out there in two shakes of…"

He was cut off by the sound of approaching footfalls. Before he could move, Prince Walter and his rescue party charged out of the forest and surrounded them. Rapunzel blanched at the arrival of her fiancé and his men. Pascal chirped in alarm and clambered up her back for shelter. The soldiers circled the boat on horseback, swords and crossbows out and ready. Prince Walter sneered at Eugene, and Eugene sneered right back.

"Surrender!" Walter barked.

"Oh, you want to surrender to _me_? All right, I accept." Eugene retorted, smirking at the angry faced of the prince.

"Your quick wit won't save you this time." Walter jumped down from his horse and drew his sword. "You kidnap my fiancée, you nearly drown my men and me, and you almost cause an international incident by bringing us all to the capital city of our sworn enemy!"

"No, he didn't!" Rapunzel jumped out of the boat and stood between Eugene and Walter. "He _saved_ me from the ones who kidnapped me!"

"Oh…" Walter looked from Rapunzel to Eugene and then back again. "I see. Well, then, thanks are in order."

He extended his hand to Eugene. Eugene hesitated, but accepted the hand shake. The second he took the prince's hand, however, the older man rolled up his sleeve and revealed a burn on his arm in the shape of the letter "P."

"The brand of a pirate." Walter said, smirking at Eugene. "And not just _any_ pirate. I'd wager you were a _Dread_ Pirate."

"Maybe, maybe not. It doesn't matter!" Eugene reached for his sword, only to find it gone. He sighed in dread realization that he left his sword in the alley when he changed out of his pirate get up. "Er… _Besides_, you'll never catch us! We know the secrets of the Fire Swamp! We can live there safely for a while. Feel free to visit if you don't mind being scorched to death."

"I'd surrender now if I were you." Walter said, drawing his own sword and pointing it at Eugene's chest.

"Well, good thing I'm not you then, cause then I'd be stupid _and_ ugly." Eugene snarked. He searched his body for anything to defend himself. He found his satchel and remembered the frying pan in it. He pulled the utensil out and raised it over his head. "Careful Prince, I _will_ use this."

"You aren't walking away from this, Rider!" Walter snarled. The guards raised their crossbows at the former pirate.

"_You_ aren't walking away with Rapunzel!" Eugene snarled back, raising the frying pan above his head.

"_Seize him_!" Walter ordered.

The guards rushed Eugene, who swung the pan in every direction, but they eventually overwhelmed him. Three men held him while the fourth clamped a set of shackles on his wrists.

"Get off me ya bunch of idiots!" Eugene yelled.

"It's no use struggling, Rider!" Walter bellowed, grabbing Eugene's collar. "You are going back to stand trial and be hanged for your crimes!"

"_STOP!_" Rapunzel shouted over the din, freezing everyone in their place. "Walter, _please_! He _did_ save me from the ones who kidnapped me, and he's my oldest friend, the one I told you about. _Please_ let him go."

Walter's gaze faltered. "I can't do that, Milady. Whether he's the Dread Pirate Flynn Rider or not, that mark shows he's guilty of piracy."

"Please, do it as…" Rapunzel begged. She took a deep breath, knowing there was only one way to get him out of this. "As a wedding present."

"What?" Walter asked.

"_What?!_" Eugene yelped in disbelief.

"Please spare my oldest friend as a wedding gift to your bride." Rapunzel asked, fighting the lump in her throat. The law said she would marry the prince and Eugene had to die; she one chance to change one of those outcomes and she knew which she had to choose. "Take him back to the village, his friends will pick him up there and we'll go back to the castle and get married just like you want."

Prince Walter gazed at Rapunzel and looked over to Eugene, his face absolutely unreadable. She winced inwardly at his hesitation. When he finally sighed, she held her breath.

"Very well, let him go." Walter ordered his men.

"Sire?" One of the guards questioned.

"Let him go." Walter repeated in a harder tone, which made the guards snap to work undoing the shackles they had put on him.

Eugene went over to Rapunzel and harshly whispered, "Blondie, _what_ _are you_ _doing_?!"

"I thought you were dead once, I won't let it actually happen if I can help it." She replied quickly as a commotion drew the party's attention.

At that moment, Maximus came galloping up to assist, but the guards intercepted the magnificent creature and tried to get him under control. Max kicked and stomped through them, trying to get to his friends.

"It's all right! It's all right, Max!" Rapunzel called out, calming the horse. She went up and petted his snout. "Everything's all right. We're going back."

Max whinnied in surprise. She was leaving without Eugene after all the trouble she went through to stay with him? This day just made less and less sense to the poor horse. He let out an exasperated snort and stood waiting for Rapunzel's orders.

"All right, men, prepare to move!" Walter called to his men, all of whom went to their horses.

"Stabbingtons!" Walter called as he mounted his own horse.

"Yes, Your Highness." The countess' footmen marched forward.

"You and your men escort this man to the village as the princess says." Walter pointed out towards Corona City. "Do _not_ harm him. Once you have seen him safely there, you and your men rendezvous with us at the ship."

"It will be done, Your Highness." The Stabbingtons bowed. The battalion of Gothel's guards marched over to flank Eugene.

Rapunzel climbed onto Max, Pascal in his spot on her shoulder. The animals looked at each other with trepidation, wishing they could say something to Eugene or Rapunzel to make this all better, but they lacked the capacity to speak and anything to say that would do so.

"Here, don't forget this." Eugene dejectedly muttered. He put the frying pan in his satchel and offered it to Rapunzel. "Something to remember me by."

Rapunzel looked at Eugene with glassy eyes despite her valiant efforts to hold in her emotions. She took the satchel with a trembling hand and grasped it close to her. She held it against to her chest because she couldn't hold _him, _but it was a poor substitute. She had only just found him again and now they were being separated again. She wanted to say she loved him, declare she would never marry anyone but him, pull him onto Max and make a run for it. However, there was no way out of this. She simply gave Eugene a nod and wave as was customary for a princess.

"Goodbye, Eugene." She sadly whispered loud enough for only the two of them to hear. She gave Max a light kick and they rode off with Walter's group.

Eugene watched as she disappeared into the forest. Her blonde hair seemed to glow even without the magic song. It let him keep track of her before finally she vanished totally from sight.

"Come on, friend." The elder Stabbington smiled. "We'll get you back to town."

"Okay, I've worked with enough guys like you to know a lie when I hear one." Eugene gave them a deadpan look. "So let's _not_ do this, all right?"

"Smart man." Tyrone Stabbington smirked. His brother, Chris walked over and put him back in irons. In the moon light and the dying lantern light, Eugene took in the brothers' features. They both looked exactly alike, both of them had red hair, and the one who was shackling him wore an eye patch.

"It's a small world after all." Eugene chuckled.

"Yeah, I suppose." The Stabbingtons said, not paying attention to the thief's words.

"I met a guy looking for you two-NOT THE NOSE!" He was cut off by a fist slamming into his face. He fell to the ground and everything went black.

* * *

><p>The ride back to Andalasia was uneventful. Rapunzel would almost call the voyage home boring, but the alternative would be getting there <em>faster<em> and was the last thing she wanted. She spent the entire time lost in her memories of the previous few days. The freedom, the terror, the joy, the dozen times she almost died, the reunion with her true love… Had it really only been only a few days? It seemed like a lifetime ago. She held the satchel Eugene had given her close to her heart.

"Feeling all right, Milady?" Walter's voice jarred Rapunzel from her thoughts.

"Oh, yes Walter, everything's fine." She smiled, trying to fight back her tears. "Just thinking over everything that's happened."

"Don't fret, Milady." Walter set a loving hand on her shoulder. "The worst is behind us."

"Yeah, I'm sure it is." Rapunzel nodded, smiling her biggest, happiest smile. She looked out over the open water and saw the castle come into view. "Oh, _look_! We're back already. How… _wonderful_."

"Run up a flag, tell them we're home!" Walter ordered the crew.

Rapunzel stared ahead at the palace, letting her cheerful mask fall away. She idly wondered if she could repeat her earlier ship escape, jump over the side and swim away. No, there were too many people around, this ship was much bigger and better equipped, and they too close to the mainland.

The ship pulled into port far too soon for Rapunzel's liking. When they disembarked, she saw her mother and Walter's parents waiting for them on the docks.

"Rapunzel!" Gothel ran up to her, looking absolutely terrified. She hugged her mother back on reflex as she wrapped her arms around her. "Oh, my precious girl!"

"Mother…" Rapunzel began, but was cut off by Gothel inspecting her face for injuries.

"Are you all right? Are you hurt?" Gothel desperately asked before hugging her again.

"No, Mother, I'm fine." Rapunzel said as she felt her mother stroke her hair.

"FINE?!" Gothel practically shrieked. "You were kidnapped and taken off God-knows-where! That's a very far cry from fine!"

"Never fear, Countess." Walter said seriously. "This shall _not_ happen again. I'm doubling the guards around the palace and I'm going to appoint a bodyguard for Rapunzel."

"What?" Rapunzel's mouth went dry.

"It's the only way to keep you safe, my dear." Walter said sympathetically. "I… I was too careless with your wellbeing. I won't make that mistake again."

"Thank you, so much, Your Highness." Gothel gratefully bowed to the prince.

"We're glad we got you back, Punzie." Queen Nancy said, hugging Rapunzel. In the back of the young girl's mind, she wondered why Nancy hugging her felt so different than being hugged by her mother.

"Truly, we are very glad you are safe, Princess." King Edward said, patting her shoulder as she hugged his wife.

"Come along, dear." Gothel put a hand on her shoulder as Nancy let her go. "You've been through so much, and we even missed your birthday!"

"Oh, it's fine, Mother, really, I…" Rapunzel tried to say, but Gothel cut her off again.

"Nonsense! We'll have the chefs make hazelnut soup, your favorite!" Gothel practically pulled her along towards the castle. "It's the least we can do after all that's happened. My poor baby!"

She just kept quiet and let her mother lead on. It was pointless arguing when her mother got all… _dramatic_. The last time she got this upset, she lectured her for an hour about the dangers of being trampled by a rhino on the front stoop.

Upon returning to the castle, dinner came without much incident, except for the endless stream of questions.

"Did you get a good look at the vile ruffians?" Edward asked, his hand resting on the hilt of his old sword. "Tell me what they looked like and I'll thrash them within an inch of their lives!"

"That's… that's really sweet, Your Highness, but you don't have to worry about them. They've… they were taken care of." Rapunzel explained.

"Were they working for Corona?" The king asked again. "I knew that we were sworn enemies, but to kidnap a princess on the eve of her wedding…"

"Edward!" Nancy called to get her husband's attention. "I think Rapunzel would rather not talk about it."

"Indeed." Walter rolled his eyes at his father's histrionics, but agreed with his sentiment, nonetheless. "But you needn't worry, Rapunzel. If Corona was behind this, I'll get to the bottom of this."

"Actually, the kidnappers weren't working for the kingdom as far as I know." Rapunzel idly swished her spoon through the soup. "Besides, I don't think they'd kidnap somebody else's princess when they're missing their own."

The comment intrigued Nancy. "What do you…?"

"Oh, it breaks my heart even _thinking_ about you being taken! It'll make me old before my time!" Gothel sighed, wiping her eyes. Rapunzel had noticed her mother _did_ look older. Her hair had a few streaks of grey in it and there were a tiny set of crow's feet starting near her eyes.

"Yes, Mother." Rapunzel nodded, wishing to just be alone. "To tell the truth, I'm uh… I'm a little tired. I think I'll go to be a little early, if nobody minds."

"Of course, Milady." Walter nodded.

"Go right ahead." Nancy kindly smiled.

"By all means." Edward waved.

"Thank you." Rapunzel smiled in gratitude as she stood and turned for the door.

"I'll be up in a minute to get you settled." Gothel smiled a little too brightly.

"Yes, Mother." Rapunzel internally cringed. She just wanted to be alone, but apparently that was too much to ask.

She wandered the halls towards her room, enjoying the brief time away from everyone else. She was strangely comforted by the satchel swinging on her hip as she walked. Pascal crawled into view and nuzzled her cheek.

"Hey, Pascal." She smiled and tried to lighten the mood. "It's been a crazy few days, huh?"

Pascal just nodded.

"But, it's all right now. We're home and Eugene's free. Everything turned out for the best." She said in very forced cheerfulness. Pascal wondered if she was trying to convince him or herself.

Rapunzel walked into her suite and sighed in the huge, empty room. She pulled off the satchel and set it on her vanity. She went to turn away when she caught her own reflection in the mirror. She looked different somehow, and not just because of the new hairstyle. She couldn't put her finger on it, but something had changed. However, she quickly lost that train of thought when Gothel appeared, locking the door behind her.

"Hello, Mother. I didn't hear you come in." Rapunzel said, turning away from the mirror.

"Oh, that's all right dear. Come, sit with me." Gothel said, striding towards Rapunzel's bed.

She moved to sit on the bed, but stopped when she saw her mother had a basket in her arms. "What's the basket for?"

"I have to undo your braid, darling." The countess explained. "We can't very well have a princess walking around with all those flowers in her hair. It might get pollen everywhere or attract bees!"

"Uh… yes, Mother." Rapunzel's stomach clenched as her mother sat down next to her on the bed and began undoing her braid.

"Would you mind singing to me while I do this, Flower? I've missed your voice." Gothel simpered as she reached for her hair.

"All right." Rapunzel muttered, mentally groaning at the request. "Flower, gleam and glow…"

Rapunzel sang her song and felt the warm glow pass through her hair. Still, she shivered as she felt the countess' hands undoing the braid and plucking out the flowers that decorated it. Any other time, it would have been just the usual nightly routine before bed, but not tonight. Despite the soft touch, every time another flower was taken out, it felt like a piece of her was being stripped away. When the last loop of hair was undone and the last little flower was pulled from her head, she felt strangely naked.

The braid was one of only two pieces of physical proof that the best day of her life happened. It wasn't just the functional tight braid job she was used to; it was made by the caring hands of those girls, not only give her mobility, but it made her feel beautiful. It was the last shred of proof that it was not some wonderful, cruel dream, and within minutes, it was gone.

"There, it _never_ happened." Gothel declared in a voice that presumably was supposed to be comforting, as she picked the final flower out and the last loop of hair fell away. When she walked around in front of Rapunzel again, the grey had vanished from her hair, as had the tiny wrinkles.

"Now, get some rest, dear. We have so much to do to get ready for the wedding!" Gothel cheerily said.

"Yes, Mother." Rapunzel answered monotonously. She never realized how many times a day she would say "yes, Mother" before.

"And don't worry dear, Mother's right here." Gothel hugged her tightly and ran a hand through her hair. "Mother will make sure everything's all right."

She smiled bravely as Gothel turned and left the room. Once the door shut behind her and the footsteps faded, Rapunzel fell backwards onto her bed, letting out a frustrated growl.

She was right back where she started, except it was so much worse. Whoever said it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all obviously had never loved and lost the same love twice. She had lived her dream and then reality returned with a vengeance and killed it. She had Eugene back, she saw the floating lanterns, and now she was back at the castle. In ten days, she would marry Walter just like she said she would and she would never see Eugene again.

Whatever chance she had at less restriction or another escape attempt was long gone after her kidnapping. Now her mother, the royal family, the entire Andalasian military and even the general population would be watching her every move. There was no way she could go outside without an escort, let alone get far away enough to make a break for it. She felt like she was locked in a tower with no help for miles.

Pascal chirped in sympathy as he turned a dark blue. She managed a sad smile and petted her first real friend.

"I'm all right." She murmured to the forlorn little chameleon. "I've lived my dream, after all. I just… need some time, that's all. And then I-I'll… I'll get started on finding a _new_ dream."

Pascal didn't believe a word Rapunzel had said, and deep down, neither did she.

* * *

><p>"Wake up!" A harsh voice cut through the fog in Eugene's mind and brought him to the edge of consciousness.<p>

"Huh?" He gasped, blinking awake. He tried to sit up, only to discover he couldn't move. He lay on a table with his wrists and ankles chained down and three belts tied across his torso and legs. He realized in horror that he was also not wearing a shirt "Tied up, half-naked on a table?! Oh for the sake of all that's good and holy, _please_ tell me I'm just in some evil person's lair."

"Of course you are." Eugene looked up and to his surprise, found Yzma staring back at him. "Where else would you be?"

"Lady, the Flynn Rider fangirls have _very_ active imaginations!" he shuddered.

He looked around the room, or to be more precise, _cave_. Judging by the stalactites, this place seemed to be underground. There were no windows and only one door at the top of a long staircase. The only light were torches burning on the walls. In the firelight, Eugene saw the place was furnished by the Spanish Inquisition. There were racks, cages, stocks, thumbscrews, nooses, iron maidens, and one wall was lined with dozens of weapons and instruments of torture.

"Well, you're in the Pit of Despair." Yzma grinned evilly. "I'm supposed to tend your wounds, but you seem to be fine."

"Can I have my shirt back, then?" he inquired, taking in his surroundings.

"What, and miss out on _this_ view? Are you kidding?" Yzma asked, gazing over his body lustfully.

"Great, bein' ogled by a woman old enough to be my great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great…"

"Are you done?" Yzma growled in irritation.

"…Great, great aunt." Eugene finished.

"You may have gotten the upper hand before, Rider, but you're in no position to get cute with me!" Yzma chuckled evilly.

"Get cute? That implies I'm not already, and I know that's not true." Eugene smiled cheekily at the old woman. "By the way, how are you human again? Last I saw you, you were looking more… feline."

"I was, but that was easily fixed with the right potion…barring some minor side effects." The old woman explained before turning to get something from the table. When she turned, Eugene noticed she still had a large grey cat tail sticking out of her posterior. "And get used to being here." Yzma smiled in fake sweetness. "The entrance is a secret and nobody's gonna find you. You'll be here until they break you."

"Torture?" Eugene raised an eyebrow. "Eh, I can deal with torture."

"We'll see about that! You have no idea what horror awaits you! AHAHA!" Yzma cackled.

"As long as it's not you in a bikini, I think I'll manage." Eugene muttered, getting a growl from his captor.

* * *

><p>Rapunzel wandered through the castle courtyard in a daze. Ever since she got home, she had tried to go along with the wedding. She smiled brightly to everyone, so much so that a few staff members wondered if she was driven crazy from the kidnapping. She tried on the dresses her mother ordered, watched her mother pick out a cake, appeared beside Walter at speeches, but she was just going through the motions.<p>

"She's been like that ever since we brought her home." Walter sighed, watching from a balcony where he and Gothel were preparing the new guard formation for the wedding.

"It's your father's health, Your Majesty." Gothel explained sadly. "She fears that she may become a bride without a father in law."

"Yes… it has weighed heavily on my heart, as well." Walter sighed.

By a terrible coincidence, that night, King Edward's health took a turn for the worst. They brought in the royal physicians and even a special doctor the countess was familiar with, but they could not help. The king died in his sleep that very night. Before dawn the next morning, Walter and Rapunzel were married and ascended to the throne. At noon, Walter and Rapunzel appeared before all of Andalasia, but now, they were husband and wife, king and queen.

* * *

><p>"Wait a minute, Grandpa, you read it wrong." Zach abruptly said.<p>

"Hmmm? How so?" The King inquired.

"Yeah, Rapunzel's supposed to marry Eugene, not Prince Walter!" Rose agreed. "I mean, Prince Walter's nice and all, but after everything that happened, it's not fair that she doesn't end up with Eugene!"

"Well, life isn't fair sometimes." Their grandfather said, mischievously.

"No, Grandpa, that's not what's supposed to happen! I'll tell you _exactly_ what's supposed to happen!"

* * *

><p>Prince Walter and Rapunzel stand at the altar, and the priest is about to pronounce them husband and wife.<p>

"Oh, woe is me!" says Rapunzel, who is now in a revealing slave outfit.

"MWAHAHAHA!" Gothel says.

Then, there's a big explosion at the church doors. Eugene steps in wearing his Dread Pirate Flynn Rider outfit. Behind him are the three thugs who used to work for Yzma and his army of pirates, who are riding large bugs.

"I object! She's _my_ true love!" Eugene shouts.

"I'll kill you, Rider!" Prince Walter shouts, pulling out his own sword.

The two of them charge at each other, swords swinging while the pirates and the guards fight in the background.

"Wait! That ring!" Prince Walter suddenly says, seeing a ring on Eugene's finger.

"What? I've had it since I was a baby." Eugene says.

"That's my family's royal crest! My long lost baby brother had a ring like that before he was kidnapped by pirates!" Prince Walter says. "Little brother!"

"Big brother!" Eugene says as he and Walter hug.

"NO!" Gothel screams. "You will not ruin my plans! Now you will deal with me and all the powers of HELL!"

There's a huge explosion and Gothel turns into a huge fire-breathing dragon. No, wait! A huge, _flying_, fire-breathing dragon! _No_, no! A huge, flying, fire-breathing dragon _with three heads_!

The guards and pirates shoot crossbows and throw swords at the Gothel dragon, but she just breathes a wall of fire at all of them! RAAAAAAWWWWWWRRRR! But Rapunzel throws her hair into the dead guys and brings them back to life with her magic, and they start shooting at her again! …Uh, the _Gothel dragon_, not Rapunzel.

And while all that's happening, Hook Hand is fighting the Stabbington Brothers to avenge his parents! They fight to a tall tower and Hook Hand is like "'Hello, my name is Hook Hand Garret. You killed my parents. Prepare to die!" And he pushes the evil brothers out a window where they get eaten by the Gothel dragon!

Eugene grabs his sword and dips it in oil and sets it on fire! He throws it and it flies through the air, taking off all three of the Gothel dragon's heads and then stabs her in the heart, blowing her up!

Then, Prince Walter and Eugene shake hands and they're like "Sorry, I didn't know."

And Eugene's like "It's cool."

And Rapunzel's like, "Yay!"

And the priest says, "I guess I pronounce _you_ two husband and wife, then!"

And everyone's like, "HOORAY!"

So, Eugene grabs the wedding rings and put them on him and Rapunzel and they ride off on Maximus!

And suddenly Queen Nancy yells, "THOSE WERE MY _GRANDMOTHER'S_ WEDDING RINGS!"

And a guard yells, "THE KINGDOM IS LOST!"

Which causes the whole castle to start _exploding!_

And Rapunzel and Eugene ride off on Maximus while the castle blows up behind them, but they don't look back because cool people don't look at explosions.

* * *

><p>"And they all lived happily ever after!" Zach finished dramatically. He crossed his arms, looking entirely pleased with himself.<p>

The King raised a bemused eye brow. "Your father's been taking you to see Michael Bay plays, hasn't he?"

"Yeah, why?" Zach asked.

"Never mind…" The King sighed, turning back to the book. "Let's see if the real story is as… _creative_."

* * *

><p>The main gate of the castle opened and Walter led Rapunzel out into the cheering crowd. Rapunzel walked along the red carpet with her new husband; adorned in all the royal finery she was due as the queen. She wore a white silk dress, decorated with diamonds and sun stones. Her hair had been tied back in a functional braid wrapped in silk ribbons. She wore a huge crown that looked beautiful, but felt like she was wearing a stone wheel on her head.<p>

She gazed over the crowd, who all cheered for her. She bowed her head, trying to gather strength to address them, when something strange happened. She looked up and saw the crowd had gone totally silent. The cheering had stopped dead, but an unnerving sound still penetrated the uneasy silence: a cold, mocking laughter.

A hunched figure wrapped in a black cloak stepped out from the crowd and stood in Rapunzel's path. It pulled back its hood to reveal a woman out of a nightmare. Saying she was old would scarcely describe her. She was so ancient, that she barely looked like a living human being. Her thin, pale skin and sunken eyes juxtaposed with a malicious grin gave her the appearance of a skeleton with wrinkles. A main of curly grey hair spilled out the edges of her hood. She raised her withered, skeletal hands and pointed a long, spidery finger at Rapunzel as she laughed. The grey eyes stared at her like a cat about to pounce on a mouse. The sight of her reminded Rapunzel of an illustration of the witch who gave Snow White a poisoned apple. For some reason, something about the Ancient Laugher seemed so familiar to her, but she could put her finger on why.

"Hail to the queen! AHAHAHA!" The Ancient Laugher crowed.

"Why are you laughing at me?" Rapunzel asked the mysterious woman.

"Because you had love in your hands and you gave it up!" The old crone howled.

"B-b-but they would've killed Eugene if I hadn't…" Rapunzel stammered, but her explanation was met with more laughter.

"Your true love lives and you're marrying someone else!" The Ancient Laugher broke into fresh hysterics. "He found you and saved you time and again and you treated what you two had like garbage to be tossed aside!"

"I don't have a choice!" Rapunzel yelled back in outrage.

"No, you never have! That's always how it's been!" The old woman grinned madly at her. "You're no princess! You're just a worthless little girl who was born into power by accident! Even your precious hair was all due to an accident of birth! You're _nothing_! Maybe it's better you left him! He won't have to waste his life with the Queen of Stupidity!"

"Stop it!" Rapunzel backed away from the Ancient Laugher, but the old witch would not let up.

"Bow to your prince-oh! I'm sorry! Bow to the Queen of Garbage! Hail to Her Royal Sloppiness! Kneel before Rapunzel, the Ungrateful! Rapunzel the Forsaker of True Love! All hail the Dream Killer!" The Ancient Laugher bowed mockingly with each horrible title she bestowed on her. "Rubbish! Filth! Slime! Muck! Sloppy! Underdressed! Immature! Clumsy! Gullible! Naïve! Grubby! Ditzy! Vague! Chubby! HEARTLESS AND UNLOVED!"

"NO!" Rapunzel turned on her heel and ran. She pushed through the crowd, who were all laughing at her now. They grabbed and tore at her dress as she went. When she was past the crowd, her regal gown was reduced to rags and torn undergarments.

She scrambled away into the forest, looking for any escape from that inhuman laughter that seemed to follow her everywhere. She ran through the woods, but the trees seemed to come alive and glare at her. As she ran, the trees began looking eerily familiar. She turned and a burst of fire erupted ahead of her.

"Oh no! How'd I get to the Fire Swamp?!" Rapunzel yelped as another blast of flames came from behind her.

Her hair suddenly caught on a tree, making her scream in pain and panic. She turned to pull it loose, but a pair of pink elephants jumped out and gave her braid a yank. She was pulled into their grasp and they tossed her into the air. She landed hard and rolled down a hill, picking up dust, leaves, and twigs in her hair and dress.

She got to her knees with tears in her eyes. Why was this happening? What _was_ happening? She wiped the dirt from her face so she could see where she was. Her eyes went wide as dinner plates in realization. She was on the shore in front of Corona City. The sky was filled with lanterns, just like her birthday. She managed a cautious smile as she took in the beautiful sight.

"Pretty, huh?" A familiar voice commented.

Rapunzel turned and saw Eugene standing over her, looking out over the display.

"EUGENE!" She quickly got to her feet and stumbled towards him. She put her arms out to hug him, but he just stepped away from her. He crossed his arms and scowled at her in obvious anger.

"Sorry, babe, name's Flynn Rider now." Eugene sneered.

"Eugene, what…" She took a step towards him and he just turned and started walking away. "Eugene, wait!"

"Sorry, Rapunzel, but a guy doesn't usually like seeing a girl who walked out on him." He snapped as he moved towards the bridge into town.

"Eugene, wait!" She ran after him, but was suddenly yanked backwards. "Ow! What?!"

She turned and saw her hair had changed into a set of golden chains leading back into the forest. To her horror, Walter and her mother emerged from the forest and grabbed hold of the hair-chains.

"Come Rapunzel, it's our wedding day!" Walter said gleefully as he pulled her back.

"Yes, Rapunzel, forget that pirate and be a good girl." Gothel said, smiling condescendingly at her as she gave a hard tug on the hair.

"NO!" Rapunzel shrieked as she pulled back with all her might and tried to run back towards the shore.

"Goodbye, Princess!" Eugene sarcastically yelled as he crossed the bridge.

A lantern with the Corona sun symbol on its side floated past Rapunzel's face. It flew with unnatural speed to the bridge. It flew right into the bridge, causing it to burst into flames. The fire ignited the other lanterns, changing their warm, glow to a fiery rain that started burning down the whole city.

"EUGENE, NO!" Rapunzel pulled with all her might, but Walter and Gothel just pulled her back into the woods even harder.

The fire suddenly erupted into a massive explosion, wiping Corona City into nothingness. Rapunzel was blown back from the force of the explosion. She fell in slow motion as the world melted away into a void of fire and darkness.

"EUGENE!" Rapunzel shrieked as she hit the floor and shot awake.

Her eyes focused and she realized she wasn't on the shore near Corona City anymore. She was on the floor in her suite at the castle. She had fallen out of bed after thrashing around from her nightmare. There was no Ancient Laugher, no Fire Swamp, no destroyed kingdom, and no Eugene. It was still ten days until the wedding, King Edward still lived, but this was only the beginning of Rapunzel's nightmares.

* * *

><p>"<em>See?<em> Didn't I tell you she wouldn't marry Walter?" Zachary grinned victoriously.

"Yes, you're very smart. Shut up." The King said offhandedly.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong> Happy New Year, everybody! And hello to all the new people who've started following and favorited this story since last time.

Old Gothel seemed like the obvious choice for the Ancient Booer, but it seemed better if I played her a little more sinister.

As you can probably tell, Norrington from _Pirates of the Caribbean_, particularly from the first movie, was a big factor in Walter's characterization. I imagine Norrington and the Captain of the Guard (who is playing the prince, in case I hadn't made that clear) are a lot alike; dedicated to the law, kind of a hard-ass, but an overall decent person who's only at odds with the protagonist because of matters of the law.

And yeah, Yzma's back! She's already an albino like in the movie and she's too much fun to just disappear.

Leave some reviews so I'll update soon and get Eugene out of the Pit of Despair and back to Rapunzel.


	13. Wedding Plans

**Chapter 13: Wedding Plans**

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><p>The following three days went by in a blur for Rapunzel. Just like her dream had predicted, her mother was more than willing to take over her part of the wedding preparations. She let her mother do whatever she liked with the wedding; she just couldn't get herself to care.<p>

Her nightmares continued and found new ways to torture her. The cruelest dream was the one from the previous night because it wasn't a nightmare. She dreamed Eugene had come back, Prince Walter called off the marriage and even her mother had agreed to let them be happy. Then, she woke up and had it all ripped away. She dreaded sleep, and in her current state, a lack of sleep was the last thing she needed.

Walter for his part was too busy with preparing not only the wedding, but the country's 500th Anniversary. They barely had a moment together, which only made Rapunzel's attempts to resign herself to her fate even harder. She was desperate to convince herself that being Walter's wife would make her happy, but it wasn't easy. He smiled and said nice things to her, he even convinced her mother to let her have lilies for her bouquet like she wanted, but nothing changed her mind. Still, she had made a promise and she _never_ broke her promises, even if they broke her heart.

She stood on a small stool while the seamstress put the finishing touches on her dress. Her hair was braided to make her new tiara and wedding veil sit easier. The veil was almost as long as her hair. She idly wondered if she should even bother with the veil and just leave her hair unbraided for the wedding.

"You look lovely, Princess!" The seamstress said, stepping back. Pascal squeaked from his perch on the seamstress' shoulder and gave her a thumb's up.

Rapunzel looked in the mirror and smiled. The dress _did_ look nice. Thankfully, they had removed a few layers and frills so she could actually _walk_ in the dress.

"Knock-knock!" The door opened to reveal King Edward, Queen Nancy and Countess Gothel. The queen gasped and smiled at Rapunzel. "Oh, Punzie, you look amazing!"

"The dress _does_ look amazing. Thank you, Miss Flora." Rapunzel smiled at the seamstress.

"Oh yes, indeed it does, darling!" Gothel sauntered into the room, all smiles and happiness. "The gown is absolutely lovely, fit for a beautiful bride! But I guess it's alright if you wear it, dear. Haha! I'm just teasing, don't take things so seriously."

"Of course, Mother." Rapunzel responded automatically.

"Well, I've got business in town this afternoon, so I'm afraid you'll have to go with the king and queen for a rehearsal without me." Gothel explained, not noticing the death-glare from the royal couple or seamstress as she left. "Well, see you later, my flower!"

"I don't know why she speaks to you like that." Queen Nancy grumbled as she glared at the door.

"Verily." King Edward frowned. "It is unbecoming of a parent and a noble."

"She's just teasing; she doesn't mean anything by it." Rapunzel tried to justify, but it sounded hollow even to her. She held out her palm and Pascal scampered into her hand. "If you're finished, Ms. Flora, I think I'd like to go for a walk in the gardens before the rehearsal."

"Oh, of course, dear." The seamstress said, pulling a final sash in place.

"Thank you." Rapunzel nodded as Pascal took his place on her shoulder. She gave a quick bow to the king and queen and walked out, smiling radiantly. "I'll see you there, Your Majesties."

"Poor girl's a wreck." Ms. Flora commented as Rapunzel shut the door.

"What do you mean, she's a wreck?" Nancy asked.

"During the entire fitting, she just kept staring sadly off into space." Flora said, putting away her tools. "When I talked to her, she put up this front that she's as happy as a clam, but it's obvious she isn't happy."

"Well, why shouldn't she be happy?" Edward was perplexed, which granted was a common occurrence, but this time there was good reason. "The wedding's coming up after all."

"I don't know if it's nerves about the wedding or she's still upset about the abduction or what, but something's definitely bothering her." The seamstress shrugged. "Now, if your majesties will excuse me, I'll go have lunch with my sisters."

"Of course. Say 'hi' to Fauna and Merryweather for us." Nancy waved as she left. She turned to her husband. "Eddie, I think we should check on this."

"As you wish." Edward agreed.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, Countess Gothel took a detour through the forest, and met with the Stabbington Brothers before heading into town.<p>

"Have you heard anything from my agents at the postal service?" Gothel demanded.

"Nothing, Countess. Corona seems unaware of the kidnapping and the incursion to get her back." Tyrone Stabbington responded.

"It's just as well, I'd hate to have them come poking around now." Gothel shrugged. "Tell them to keep watch and intercept any communications that _do_ show up."

"Yes, Your Grace." The Stabbingtons chuckled wickedly. "If the royals only knew you were responsible for the mess ups at the post office."

"Well, after the wedding, it won't matter anyway." Gothel waved off. "What about our pesky pirate?"

"Yzma's watching him down in the Pit of Despair." Her footman replied, cracking his knuckles.

"Ah, that reminds me." Gothel dropped a small bag of gold into Chris Stabbington's hand. "There's her payment for the kidnapping."

The brutish footman nodded and stored the gold away for later.

"I had hoped Rapunzel would return a bit more contrite and compliant than she's been the last few days." Gothel groaned. "But, it did the job of flaring suspicion, and now we even have a precedent for Corona possibly being involved with a potential kidnapping."

"So, that's it, then?" Tyrone Stabbington asked.

"Oh, of course not! It will be so much more dramatic when Rapunzel disappears on the wedding night!" Gothel snickered. "Corona will be blamed, the people will be outraged, Walter will be in a rage and war will be inevitable."

"Ah, here we are." Tyrone Stabbington declared as they approached an old tree. "Now, where's that secret knot?"

The brutish man felt along the gnarled bark of the tree, for the secret knot. He pushed against the broken tree and a door opened in the trunk.

"Will you be joining us, Countess?" Tyrone asked, holding the secret door open. "It's been a while since we had anyone in the Pit worth torturing."

"As much as I enjoy watching you boys work, I can't. I've got to find the secret in the castle, help plan the country's 500th anniversary, plan the royal wedding, plan my daughter's kidnapping, frame Corona, _and_ I've got a pedicure at 2 o'clock. I'm swamped." Gothel shrugged.

"Well, if you change your mind, you know where we are." The Stabbingtons bowed and went through the door into the Pit.

"Ugh, it's _such_ hard work being me." Gothel moaned melodramatically.

* * *

><p>Rapunzel sighed in frustration as she strolled through the gardens. She was never going to be happy with Walter. She might tolerate the arrangement, maybe even be content, but she didn't love him. All she had done since she came back was put up a front to please everyone.<p>

She came to a stop on a small bridge over the castle duck pond. She leaned on the railing and stared down at her reflection in the water.

"Rapunzel, get ahold of yourself!" She scolded herself, looking into her reflection's eyes. "You'll love Walter eventually! He's been nothing but good to you! So, stop thinking about things that don't… that you can't… Oh am I kidding?"

She covered her face with her hands in despair. When she finally looked into the pond again, she sighed at the face looking back. She saw a girl staring back at her dressed in a beautiful gown, adorned with jewels fitting royalty, but she didn't see a princess. She saw a doll for others to play dress up with. She wasn't a happy bride to be. She wasn't the perfect princess. She was just a girl who had a promise to keep. It was so much that she subconsciously began to sing.

"Look at me, I will never pass for a perfect bride, or a perfect daughter.  
>"Can it be I'm not meant to play this part?" Rapunzel trudged over the bridge and through the garden paths. "Now, I see that if I were truly to be myself, I would break everyone's heart."<p>

"Who is that girl I see, staring straight back at me?  
>"Why is my reflection someone I don't know?" She sang as she passed the pond on the opposite side. She slowly marched down the path towards the wishing well that Walter had shown her the first day they moved into the castle. She stared at her reflection in the water as it cascaded into the seemingly bottomless well.<p>

"Somehow I cannot hide who I am, though I've tried.  
>"When will my reflection show, who I am inside?"<br>"When will my reflection show, who I am inside?" She sighed and turned toward the main building, unaware that the king and queen had seen the entire display.

Rapunzel climbed the stairs to her suite leaned against the door as it closed behind her. If she just had a few minutes to compose herself, she would be fine. She went over to her dresser and pulled the top drawer open. Inside were Eugene's satchel, and her frying pan. She reached in and picked up the satchel. As she lifted it, the flap fell open and a tiny bottle rolled out into the drawer. She frowned in confusion; she looked in the satchel to see if there was anything else inside, but it was otherwise empty. Her eyes fell on the tiny bottle. She recognized it as she picked it up; the vial of Sleeping Death he pretended to use during the battle of wits with Yzma.

She remembered Eugene's description. Odorless, tasteless, absorbs into food on contact, and once taken will send a person into a deep, endless sleep. Could she dream in a sleep like that? Would it just be a dreamless oblivion? Would she be trapped in those nightmares forever? Would she dream about Eugene? Maybe life as a princess wouldn't be bad if she could just sleep through it.

"No!" Rapunzel snapped as she tossed the vial back into the drawer and slammed it shut. "I may be unhappy, but I'm not _that_ desperate."

"Rapunzel?" She jumped as she heard the queen's voice followed by a knock on the door. "Rapunzel, are you there?"

"Uh, yes, Your Majesty. Sorry if I took too long in the gardens. I kind of lost track of time and…" She trailed off as she opened the door. The King, Queen and Walter stood in the doorway and it was obvious that something was wrong. "Oh, hello Water. It's nice to see you. I was just getting ready for the rehearsal, so if you three are ready we can…"

"Punzie? Sweetheart? Calm down." Nancy interrupted.

"Is… is everything all right?" Rapunzel asked nervously.

"That's what I hope to find out." Walter stated, stepping into the room followed by his parents. "_Is_ everything all right?"

"Well, of course! Why wouldn't it be?" Rapunzel asked, smiling broadly.

"Well, we did see you singing out in the gardens that you feel sad and unfit as a princess, so there's that." Edward bluntly stated.

"Ugh, maybe a little more tact next time, Edward." Nancy groaned in embarrassment at her husband's lack of social skills.

"Right dear. Well, Nancy and I think you two should have… um…" Edward turned to his wife. "What was it, dear?"

"A conversation, Edward." Nancy shook her head wearily. She turned to her son and Rapunzel. "There's obviously something that is bothering you, Rapunzel. And before this wedding can proceed, it's important for you two to figure out what's wrong now, so you can deal with. Otherwise it will just get worse and worse and become a larger problem later on."

"Yes, like on our wedding night, when I told Nancy she'd be soar and covered with marks in the morning." Edward casually added.

"WHAT?" Rapunzel covered her mouth to hide the yelp of shock.

"FATHER!" Walter gawked in outrage.

"EDWARD!" Nancy glared daggers at him.

"What? The mattress needed to be replaced because it was so worn out that it was like sleeping on a bag of rocks, and the springs kept sticking up through it and kept poking and scratching us." Edward explained.

"Oh… right, I forgot about that." Nancy laughed sheepishly, as the prince and princess sighed in relief.

"To say nothing of how that impeded our first time having-" Edward was cut off by Nancy shoving him out the door.

"We'll talk to you two later." Nancy said over her shoulder as she pushed her husband out the door and slammed it behind her.

"Well, that was… horrifying." Rapunzel said, trying to lighten the mood.

"Not as bad as last night. He broke into song trying to give me pointers for the wedding night." Walter shuddered at the memory.

"I really didn't need to know that." Rapunzel almost tasted bile at the thought.

"No." Walter shook his head, and turned to face her. "So, what's wrong?"

Rapunzel opened her mouth but Walter raised a hand before she could utter a syllable.

"The _truth_, Rapunzel." He sternly requested.

She just stared at him, trying to find the words. She finally took a deep breath and decided to lay all her cards on the table.

"Walter… you've been nothing but wonderful to me. You've brought me and my mother into your home, you came to save me when I was kidnapped, and you let my… you let Eugene go for me. And I have tried to grow to love you the way you love me, really, I have, but…"

"You still don't." The prince finished. "You still love that Flynn Rider, don't you? Childhood friend or not, he's still a pirate, you know."

"I'm sorry." She hung her head in shame. "It's not fair to you, I know. You've done so much to win my heart and I'm just a horrible, ungrateful person for not feeling the same way. But don't worry, that doesn't change anything."

"What?" Walter looked at her in confusion.

"I promised I'd marry you and I'm going to keep that promise." Rapunzel reassured, desperate to make everything all right even if every word was another knife in her heart. "We'll get married just like you want. I won't run out on you. I'll never look for Eugene. I'll be your perfect princess and we'll live happily ever after. I promise."

Walter stared at her and then frowned.

"I love you, Rapunzel and because I am the prince of the land, I have the privilege to have what I want, no matter what anyone says." Walter firmly declared.

"Of course." Rapunzel nodded in sad acceptance.

"And what I want… is for you to be happy." Walter sighed in resignation. "My father may not be the smartest man who ever sat on the throne, but he taught me that true love is the most powerful thing in the world. He went to the world beyond the wishing well to find a girl he planned to marry. He loved her and wanted to be with her, but he gave her up because he realized that he was not her true love. Whether or not I love you, whether or not I think that pirate deserves you, one shouldn't … and _can't _stand in the way of true love. Consider our marriage off."

Rapunzel looked at Walter, completely stunned. The look on the prince's face simultaneously broke her heart and made it soar. She rushed over and grabbed him in a bone-crushing hug.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you." She repeated over and over.

"You're… welcome… Rapunzel? Oxygen… becoming an issue!" Walter wheezed.

"Oh!" Rapunzel let go of Walter who gasped for breath. "I'm so sorry!"

"It's… all right. Man, you're strong!" Walter exclaimed before regaining composure. "Let's go talk to our parents."

"I hope they're as understanding." Rapunzel sighed.

* * *

><p>"WHAT?!" Gothel shouted.<p>

"We… um, we want to call off the wedding." Rapunzel sheepishly repeated.

"We've talked it over, Countess, and we've agreed that it's for the best." Walter explained evenly.

"Are you sure?" The queen asked, looking concerned between her son and Rapunzel.

"Yes, quite, Mother." Walter answered.

Edward and Nancy shared a look and turned to Rapunzel, who shrank at the sight. They both stood and walked up to their son and enveloped him in a hug. Rapunzel watched, heartbroken at the pain she must have caused the royal family. The king and queen then turned to Rapunzel, who expected them to order her into the dungeon.

"If this is your decision, then we will abide by it." Edward said, putting a hand on Rapunzel's shoulder.

"Rapunzel, are you insane?" Gothel demanded. "You're walking out on a prince! _A prince_!"

"Mother, I'm sorry, but I just don't have the same feelings for him that I have feelings for Euge-"

"Oh Rapunzel!" Gothel scoffed. "Your stable boy turned into a thieving pirate. He's not worthy of you!"

"You said the same thing when he was still a stable boy," Rapunzel answered heatedly. "And you were wrong then. I love him and he still loves me."

"Please, Rapunzel, that's _demented_!" Gothel scoffed. "Dear, why would he come back to you? Come on now, really? You're the daughter of a countess, on her way to being princess of the realm. He just wants whatever wealth or status he can get from you."

"Mother…" Rapunzel tried to interject, but Gothel pressed on.

"Besides, the way Walter told the story, _you_ left _him_ to go with Walter. Are you even sure he'll be inclined to come back after that?"

"Of… of course he'll come!" She defiantly stated.

"Fine! Then you can run off with your thieving pirate and leave me in disgrace from having my daughter rejected by the prince!" Gothel groaned.

"What?" Rapunzel balked. "I'm not being rejected, we both agreed…"

"The people won't see it that way!" Gothel went on. "When the people see you've left Walter and run off with a known pirate, on the eve of Andalasia's 500th Anniversary no less, there will be rumors and gossip everywhere! Our names will be dragged through the mud! They'll think something awful happened! We'll never be allowed in polite society again!"

"ALL RIGHT!" Walter called over the argument. "All right, I have a solution."

"You do?" Gothel asked.

"Yes. Flynn Rider usually sails around the coast around this time." The prince explained. "Rapunzel? Write a letter to Rid-to _Eugene_ explaining everything. We will make four copies and I will send them out on my four fastest ships to look for him. Until that time, we will proceed on with the wedding."

"But…" Rapunzel began, but Walter held up a hand.

"If he arrives in time for the wedding, then we shall instead hold the wedding for the two of you." Walter went on, getting a dumbfounded look from the countess. "If he does not make it in time, then the wedding will proceed, and when he arrives he will be allowed to challenge me in honorable combat for your hand."

"And what if he doesn't show up at all?" Gothel asked.

Walter didn't answer her, instead turning to Rapunzel. "Then, perhaps you could consider me an alternative happily ever after?"

"Deal." Rapunzel nodded. "I'll go write the note."

"Of course." Walter bowed.

Rapunzel turned on her heel and ran from the room.

"This is ridiculous." Gothel sighed as she turned to the prince. "I apologize, Your Highness. I can't figure out how you can go along with this!"

"The heart wants what it wants, and hers wants that… _scruffy_ pirate." Walter groaned in resignation to the idea. "Well, I'll just have to hope that maybe something will change between now and then."

"I see." Gothel answered, confused by the prince's attitude. "Well, now that this is all settled, I'm going to go change for supper."

"See you then, Countess." King Edward said cheerfully. Once Gothel was out of earshot, he turned and whispered to Nancy. "She is… not a very compassionate mother."

"Understatement of the millennium." Nancy nodded emphatically.

Edward stared at her. "… I don't know what any of those words mean."

Gothel stomped through the castle corridors in a rage at the afternoon's events. The guards averted their eyes when she passed to avoid the truly horrific death glare that she passed them.

"He shouldn't be acting like this!" Gothel hissed under her breath. "He's supposed to be hopelessly infatuated and possessive of her! I'll just have to double check the next dose. Ugh, this day started out so well!"

She slammed the door to her suite shut and ran a hand through her hair. She turned to a candelabrum on the wall and went to light it, when suddenly noticed something. As she looked closer, she saw there was an engraving right at the top of it. Her eyes lit up at the sight of the tiny bronze dragon with a large letter "N" on its middle.

"Yes!" Gothel punched the air in excitement. She ran to the door and locked it tight. She didn't want anyone catching now. She went back and pulled the candelabrum, causing the wall to open revealing a secret door. She grabbed a candlestick and entered the dark passageway. She followed down a long dark tunnel that seemed to go on forever. Finally, the tunnel let out into a large eerie cavern

"At last!" Gothel smiled in satisfaction. "Narissa's secret lair!"

In the vast cavern was everything a respectable evil overlord could ask for. On the walls were shelves of spell books going back centuries. A laboratory was set up near a cauldron for brewing potions. In the center was a glowing crystal ball suspended in the waterway. On the wall hung a large portrait of King Edward's stepmother, Queen Narissa.

"Oh, Narissa." Gothel cooed as she walked towards the painting. "All those years we knew each other and you never showed me your secrets. All that power, all that magic and it still didn't save you. I guess that's where you and I are different. I realized the truth long ago; what good are all the treasure and power in the world if you can't enjoy them forever?

"You ruled Andalasia and now, you're gone." Gothel smiled as she rummaged across the table, looking over spell books, potion recipes, magic objects and the odd spider or two. "Now, your stepson sits on the throne, but soon enough, he'll be gone. And when _I_ take over this kingdom, I'll be able to keep it forever."

She picked up a box and sifted through it. At the bottom was a red amulet that pulsed with dark power. The countess grinned at the evil heat of the amulet as she tied it around her neck. A flash of energy flowed through her, filling her with the amulet's power.

"And with these secrets and goodies you've so kindly left for me, this is only the beginning!" Gothel pointed at the picture of Narissa and a red lightning bolt flew from her fingertip, burning the painting to ashes. "Soon, the reign of the Gothel the Great shall begin! HAHAHA!"

* * *

><p>"I knew that Gothel lady was up to no good." Rose glared in indignation at the character's evil plans.<p>

"Relax, Rose." Zachary rolled his eyes. "Any minute now, Eugene's gonna run in and save the day."

"But he's still in the Pit of Despair." Rose said, hugging Pascal to her.

"He'll get out." Zachary said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "The bad guys will mess up and he'll escape and expose the whole evil plan and they'll live happily ever after, right Grandpa?"

"Well… sort of." The king answered.

"What do you mean, 'sort of'?" Zachary asked.

"You'll see." The King smirked.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong> Yes, twist of all twists, Gothel is… **_EVIL!_**Dun dun duuuuuuuuuuuuuun! I just blew your minds M. Night Shyamalan style! Hopefully I put in enough foreshadowing on this and a few other plot points.

The song in this chapter is _Reflection_ from _Mulan_.

Sorry for the wait. Leave a review if you forgive me!


	14. Ultimate Suffering

**Chapter 14: Ultimate Suffering. **

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><p>Gothel strolled through the forest with a wicked smile on her face. It had been several days since Rapunzel and Walter's announcement. As promised, Walter had his four fastest ships out to look for the Dread Pirate Flynn Rider. They might find his ship, but only she and her co-conspirators knew where the man himself was. She hit the secret knot on the tree and descended into the Pit of Despair. She found Yzma and the Stabbingtons sitting around a table looking completely frustrated and dumbfounded.<p>

"What's wrong with you three?" She asked.

"We've tried everything on him, Countess!" Tyrone Stabbington groaned, motioning to the main room where Eugene was held. "He won't break!"

"That's ridiculous! Everyone breaks eventually!" Gothel snapped. "You just haven't found the right method yet."

"Not for lack of trying." Yzma sighed. "We tried cutting him…"

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><p><em>"<em>_Ouch! Did I feel a paper cut?" Eugene asked nonchalantly._

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><p>"Crushing him..." She continued ticking off her fingers.<p>

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><p><em>"<em>_More weight, I wanna get some more reps in!"_

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><p>"Freezing him…"<p>

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><p><em>"<em>_Perfect way to cool down after a work out!"_

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><p>"Burning him…"<p>

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><p><em>"<em>_Just the thing to sooth the tight muscles."_

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><p>"Boiling him in oil..."<p>

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><p><em>"<em>_Mmmm, Jacuzzi."_

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><p>"Whipping him..."<p>

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><p><em>"<em>_Could you go a little lower? I have an itch."_

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><p>"Making him constantly listen to terrible maddening noise…"<p>

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><p><em>"<em>_It's a small world after all, it's a small world aft… you know, it kind of grows on you after a while."_

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><p>"I even tried turning him into a <em>llama<em>!"

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><p><em>"<em>_You know, I never would have dreamed that there could be such a thing as a sexy llama… But danged if I don't pull it off!"_

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><p>"…And he's shrugged it all off!" Yzma groaned, slamming her head on the table.<p>

"Hmmm, he's stronger than I thought." Gothel frowned and stroked her chin in thought. "Well then, it's time to start him on the Machine."

"Already?" Yzma asked.

"Why not?" Gothel shrugged. "Time to put this dreamboat to the test."

"You're the countess." Tyrone Stabbington stood from his seat.

"Good, then get to it." Gothel waved them off. "Oh, and don't kill him right away, I want him to linger."

"Check. Hold on the killing, pile on the lingering." Yzma wrote on a pad.

"Excellent. Now, I've got to set a few things up before the wedding." Gothel turned and swept out of the Pit for the next part of her plan, while her minions set to work on Eugene.

The Stabbingtons pulled Eugene off the rack, jolting him awake. "Aw, come on guys, I just got my back to pop back in! Don't stop now! This is the best chiropractic service ever!"

"Shut up." The red-haired brutes grumbled as they strapped him to a table and rolled him over to the Machine. It was a giant mass of levers, cogs, wheels, pumps and hoses. At the back of the machine was a water turbine that seemed to power the machine itself. Just above Eugene's head was a dial with several numbers written on it. The Machine looked dangerous, but its purpose wasn't apparent at all from looking at it.

"So, what's this thing?" Eugene raised an eyebrow. "A giant hamster cage?"

"Laugh all you want, Rider." Tyrone grinned sadistically. "In a few minutes, you'll beg for mercy."

Yzma went up to the machine and grabbed a series of hoses and wires and began attaching them to Eugene's chest.

"In the countess' quest for immortality, she hit upon the idea for the Machine." The more talkative Stabbington explained, as Yzma attached a set of tubes to Eugene's temples. "It works on the same principle of the suction pump, but instead of sucking water, it sucks out life. Unfortunately, she was unable to find a way to harvest the extracted life so she could use it herself. So, she stuck the Machine down here for use on people that get in her way."

"That's interesting, though I immediately question the science behind 'sucking life' out of a person." Eugene looked at the brutish man in confusion.

"I don't really understand it myself." The evil footman shrugged as he pulled the lever. "This is only your first time, so I'll be gentle and use the lowest setting."

Water rushed in from an aqueduct system and the machine activated. It rumbled to life and began its unspeakable work. Eugene tried to brace himself, but there was no way he could have anticipated such intense pain. He felt his body being yanked apart from the inside. Eugene squeezed his eyes shut, trying to ride out the pain, but it just wouldn't leave.

After one minute, that from Eugene's perspective lasted a year, the pain stopped. Eugene's body shook in agony and finally relaxed as he fought for breath.

"The machine has just sucked out a year of your life." Tyrone explained. "The higher settings will take several years away at once, and presumably amplify the pain. The countess doesn't want you drained all at once, though, so, you're not going to die from this. At least, not until she says so,"

"The countess wanted us to document the effects of the machine for posterity." Yzma said pulling out her notebook again. "So, how do you feel?"

Eugene had no strength to speak or move or even form a thought. He simply moaned and burst into tears.

Yzma quickly jotted down her notes. "Interesting."

* * *

><p>Rapunzel strolled through the castle after meeting with the baker handling the wedding cake. She had felt better over the last few days since Walter had given her a way out of the wedding, but in the back of her mind, she wondered if her mother was right. She had been the one who walked away from Eugene. The four fastest ships had taken her message out to search for Eugene's ship, <em>The Smolder<em>, but there had been no word. Every day, she wondered if he really would come back.

"Pascal, do you think Mother's right?" Rapunzel asked as her chameleon friend perched on her head.

Pascal shook his head vigorously.

"It's been a few days; the ships should have found him by now." She went on nervously.

Pascal skittered down and nuzzled her cheek.

"You're right, it's probably too soon." Rapunzel rationalized. "Still, I guess it wouldn't hurt to ask."

She walked down the hall towards Walter's study. Unknown to her, however, a secret meeting was taking place there. The king, the queen, the prince, her mother, the captain of the guard and a chipmunk all sat around a table in the study, with the doors and windows locked.

"What's this all about?" Gothel asked.

"This is a top secret matter of security." Prince Walter said seriously. "This information can't leave this room."

"Son, what's wrong?" Queen Nancy asked.

"Show them, Captain Phoebus." Walter ordered.

"Ahem." The chipmunk let out an annoyed cough.

"Sorry. Show them, Captain Phoebus and Pip." Walter corrected himself.

"That's better." Pip nodded satisfied.

"My intelligence network intercepted these messages." C set several rolls of parchment on the table.

"These don't look too good, Ya Highnesses." The chipmunk said, unrolling the paper. "Me and the boys saw somebody in a black cloak drop this in the forest. The birds lost track of the guy, but he was up to no good."

"You sure?" Nancy asked.

"Would anybody who _isn't_ evil go sneakin' around the forest in the middle of the day wearin' an ominous black cloak?" Pip confidently stated.

"He's got a point." Edward nodded.

"More kidnappers are planning to come after Princess Rapunzel." Phoebus said, reading off the top page. "They're hiding out in the Thieves' Forest and intend to strike on the wedding night, no less!"

"The newest message also implies that these kidnappers are agents of Corona." Walter frowned in indignation.

"What?" Edward jumped to his feet. "They tell us to leave them alone all these years and now they're suddenly sending people _here_ to cause trouble?"

"Looking back on the abduction a week ago, it seems to make sense. Rapunzel was taken to Corona, we even found her on the outskirts of its capital city." Walter rubbed his chin. "Perhaps those kidnappers were in their employ as well."

"This makes no sense." Nancy shook her head in disbelief. "How could they do this?"

"Oh, my poor daughter!" Gothel whimpered. "She can't be taken again, she just can't!"

"And she won't." the prince said, putting a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Tomorrow, I'll send the men into the Thieves' Forest. It'll be emptied and the thieves and thugs will be jailed."

"Oh thank you, Your Highness." Gothel gratefully kissed his hand.

"That may be a problem, Your Highness." Captain Phoebus spoke up. "The Thieves' Forest is a very large area to secure and our guards are pulling double shifts to guard the castle and the wedding preparations. We may not have the man power."

"That's true…" Walter frowned. "Then I will have to form a brute squad then. We have to keep her safe."

The group was startled by a small knock on the door followed by Rapunzel calling, "Hello?"

"Put these away." The prince ordered, as he and the captain gathered the papers and shoved him into a drawer. Walter went to the study door and unlocked it. "Hello, Rapunzel."

"Sorry, am I interrupting something?" She asked.

"Nothing that important." The prince shrugged. "Was there something you needed?"

"Um," Rapunzel twisted a strand of her hair and uncomfortably asked, "Well, I was wondering if there was any word from Eugene?"

"Ah." The prince said, keeping his face neutral. "I'm afraid not, Milady. Rest assured the moment we hear anything, we will inform you."

"Thank you." She smiled awkwardly. "Well, I, uh, I guess I should get back to helping the baker."

"I'll help you, Flower." Gothel smiled as she came to the door.

"Oh… thank you, Mother." Rapunzel strained to smile. "Well, see you later, then."

After the princess and her mother walked away, Walter shut the door and turned to his parents and the captain.

"She will not be taken again!" Walter declared forcefully. "Get to work at once!"

"Yes, Your Highness." Phoebus bowed. He walked to the door but hesitated. "Where'd Pip go?"

Suddenly everyone heard a muffled voice and knocking coming from the desk drawer. "LEMME OUTTA HERE! COME ON! THIS AIN'T FUNNY!"

Meanwhile, Rapunzel and Gothel walked down the hall towards the kitchens.

"So… did you ever find where that draft was coming from?" Rapunzel valiantly tried to make small talk to avoid the subject she was afraid her mother would bring up. Pascal hid in her braid to avoid Gothel.

"Draft?" Gothel looked confused, before she remembered her cover story. "OH! Yes, I did find it the other day. It was coming from a small hole in my room. It's taken care of. But there's something more important to talk about."

"Oh?" Rapunzel asked rhetorically. She knew very well what was coming.

"Darling, you need to face the possibility that this Eugene won't come." Gothel explained, almost sounding sympathetic. "I know you think you two had something special, but-"

"We did-we _do_ have something special." Rapunzel interrupted.

"Rapunzel, I know you two had a fling when you were younger, but you're being very naïve about this. Maybe there was a little nostalgic excitement at seeing him and the whole romanticized idea that he got you away from the kidnappers in your mind, that doesn't mean you two are meant to be."

"He chased me down across the ocean, climbed cliffs, fought thugs and ruffians and ran cross-country to save me!" Rapunzel insisted. "Why would he go that far if he didn't care for me?"

"Being in line to become a princess might have something to do with it. Ransom or reward would have made him a very rich man."

"He wouldn't do that!" Rapunzel snapped, taking Gothel by surprise. The princess sighed and regained control of her temper. "Sorry, Mother. Eugene only ever wanted the two of us to be together."

"People change, dear." Gothel sighed. "The world is a hard place and sometimes it makes people you thought you knew into cruel and selfish people."

"Eugene isn't like that!"

"There's no need to get angry, dear. I'm just trying to protect you from being let down if it turns out he doesn't care."

"No, you're trying to convince me that Eugene and I shouldn't be together." Rapunzel turned to her mother with angry tears in her eyes. "You treat me like I'm too weak to do anything on my own! You think I'm too stupid to make my own decisions without it becoming a disaster!"

"Well, I'm sorry for looking after my daughter's best interests!" Gothel replied in an equally angry tone. "I'm trying to protect you!"

"This is way past protection, Mother. All my life, you've smothered, stifled and guilt me into doing everything your way because 'mother knows best!'" Rapunzel raged.

"Right, because _Rapunzel_ knows best!" Gothel sarcastically hummed. "You think you know everything about the real world because of what you experienced when those villains took you?"

"No, not everything! But at least I've had a chance to make my own choices for once without worrying you'll disapprove of every single move I make!"

"Well, I'm sorry if you think I did a bad job as a mother, but I will not apologize for looking after my flower!" Gothel yelled back.

"I'm _not_ a flower! I'm a _human being_!" Rapunzel shouted. The assertion caught Gothel completely off-guard; she just stared at Rapunzel as seeing her for the first time. "You're my mother and I love you, but you don't _own_ me! Yeah, I'm your daughter, but I'm still my own person! I have my own thoughts and feelings, and you only ever make me like something to show off to people and have sing to you when you feel run down! Well, I've had it! I'm not spending the rest of my life having you deciding everything for me! Eugene will come for me and we will get married! And maybe, when you see that we are happy and love each other, maybe you can finally realize that I'm actually worth something and maybe even be happy for me!"

Rapunzel turned and quickly marched down the hall, leaving Gothel staring after her in shock. The countess slowly processed what had just occurred and a dark look passed over her face.

"Oh, I see how it is." Gothel said under her breath as a sinister smirk curled her lips. "Well, I won't say I told you so."

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><p>The day of the wedding had finally come. There was no word from Eugene, but Rapunzel held out hope. The royal family kept things going on schedule for the wedding, and Gothel and her minions continued their secret evil plans. Thanks to Gothel's false messages, security was increased around the castle and the brute squad had their hands full emptying the Thieves' Forest.<p>

"Captain!" A guard named Conli ran up to Phoebus. "We've got everyone else out, that's left is a drunk Spaniard and a mime."

"Good. Take care of them. And meet up with the wagons." The captain said, spurring his horse. "Achilles, heel!"

The guard went back to the old shack and found the two hold outs; Hook Hand and Ulf the Mime. Ulf tried to pull Hook Hand up, but his drunken despair made it impossible.

"I had them, Mom and Dad!" Hook Hand moaned as he took another swig of the cheap ale he'd been drowning himself in for days. "They were right there! I was gonna wreck-rock-_wreak_ vengeance and then what happens? A tidal wave washes us away! It's not fair!"

"You there, thug!" Conli called to Hook Hand. "You need to get out of here or you'll be arrested!"

"Shut up." Hook Hand hurled the tankard at the guard. "I've got bigger problems!"

"This is on the prince's orders. You need to leave." The guard repeated, trying to sound more forceful.

"I DON'T CARE!" Hook Hand drew his sword, knocking Ulf down in the process. He stumbled forward, still swinging his sword. "I don't care if the prince, the president, the pope or Disney Himself! I'm not leaving until I find a way to get those red haired killers!"

"That's it; I'm calling the brute squad!" Conli stuttered. "You, there, I need some help!"

"Coming." Replied a low voice.

Hook Hand looked up at the huge shadow that fell over him. "Come and get me, you big lug!"

"Wouldn't you rather have a big hug?" Replied the brute. Hook and Ulf looked at the brute's face.

"Hey, it's Vlad!" the Spaniard smiled drunkenly.

"Aren't you glad?" Vladimir asked. The muscleman turned and knocked the guard unconscious. "Let's get him sobered up, Ulf."

The mime nodded as he and followed his friends into the shack.

After a few hours, Hook Hand finally began to sober up. Unfortunately, he now suffered from a hangover that could kill a dragon.

"Uggggghhhhh." Hook Hand moaned.

"Hair of the dog." Vlad said, passing his friend a cup.

Hook Hand took a slight sip and spat it out. "Blah! Whatever that dog rolled in, it tastes awful."

"Great, once you're ready, we can get to work." Vladimir smiled.

"What work?" Hook Hand asked, wiping his eyes. "The only work I care about is tracking down those murderers. I'll need to go back to Corona to find them."

"You don't understand, Hook!" Vlad interjected. "They're here!"

"What?" Hook Hand's mind cleared in an instant upon hearing this news.

"They're called the Stabbington Brothers. They're Countess Gothel's footmen!"

"WHAT?!" Hook Hand nearly fell out of his chair in astonishment. "Are you sure?!"

"Dead sure!" Vlad replied. Ulf nodded vehemently in agreement. "They're in the castle right now, with the countess."

"YES!" Hook Hand jumped up with a savage grin on his face. "Come on!"

"Wait, Hook!" Vlad put a massive hand on his friend's shoulder. "They beefed up security for the wedding. The front gate is guarded sixty men!"

Hook Hand's face fell. He paced and thought for a long moment. "How many could you handle?"

"I don't think more than thirty." Vlad shook his head.

"Leaving another thirty for me and Ulf. We couldn't take that many at once" Hook Hand said mostly to himself. "Gah! I need somebody like Yzma to plan this out. I'm no good at strategizing anything but sword fights."

"But Yzma's gone. We looked all over and we can't find her." Vlad threw his hands up in defeat.

"No…" Hook Hand's eyes lit up. "No, we don't need Yzma! We need the Dread Pirate Flynn Rider!"

"The Man in Black?" Vlad asked. "Why him?"

"Think about it! He beat me with swordsmanship, he beat you two with strength, _and_ he outsmarted Yzma! _And_, he's Princess Rapunzel's true love, so he'll have even more reason to crash the wedding! He's the perfect one to lead this attack!"

The door to the shack suddenly burst open. The three friends looked up as two more large men ran inside and slammed the door behind them. One wore a honed helmet that covered his face, and the other wore a winged helmet and sported a giant nose.

"Hey, I know you two!" Hook Hand jumped out of his chair. "You were at the bar fight! You worked for Flynn Rider! Good! We need you too…"

"SHHHH!" Big Nose shushed. "We've been on the run for days!"

"I don't remember seeing you two when I signed up for the brute squad." Vlad frowned.

"It's not the guards or the brute squad we're running from." Attila said, peering out the window. "The soldiers after us work for Countess Gothel."

"The countess?" The others gasped.

"Why would she be after you?" Hook Hand asked.

"We came looking for the Captain, but he never showed up to the rendezvous point." Attila explained. "We went looking for him and saw Gothel's men dragging him off."

"When we tried to save him, we were ambushed." Big Nose grumbled. "Most of the crew was captured and sent of the palace dungeon, the rest of us hid here in the Thieves' Forest."

"It's all coming together." Vladimir muttered. "The countess is up to something. She hired us to kidnap the princess and frame Corona, she captures the princess' true love, imprisons anyone who sees it…she's planning to hurt the princess and start a war!"

Ulf chewed his nails in fear.

"Now we _know_ we need Flynn Rider!" Hook Hand said, grabbing his sword. "He can plan the castle onslaught, and once we're inside, we'll release your pals, save the princess, stop the countess and I'll finally get my revenge on the Stabbingtons! Come on, we gotta find him!"

"But we don't know where he is!" Vlad tried explaining.

"Don't use your fancy pants logic to confuse the situation! This is kismet! This is fate!" Hook Hand raged, grabbing his sword. "Tonight, innocent blood will be avenged! Villains will fall to heroes! Heroes will become legends! And legends will become… _legendary_! Come on, boys! Our destiny awaits!"

Vladimir and Ulf watched their friend charge out the door. They shared a concerned look, until they both broke into a smirk. The muscleman and the mime charged out the door after Hook Hand towards their ill-conceived adventure.

* * *

><p>"Sire." Walter looked up from his desk to see Captain Phoebus saluting him. "The Thieves' Forest is empty, sixty men guard the castle gate and I have the only key."<p>

"Bring in another forty men." Walter ordered. "The princess must be protected."

"Of course, Your Highness." Phoebus bowed. 'But I gotta ask, what do we do if the Dread Pirate Flynn Rider _does_ show up?"

"You escort him to the throne room for an audience." Walter explained in a clipped tone. "If he tries anything restrain him, but he is not to be harmed until this business is taken care of."

"And what if he tries anything funny?"

"_Then_, you can kill him like a chicken." Walter shrugged.

"Yes, Sire." Phoebus left, only for Rapunzel to walk in at that very moment, looking very nervous.

"Hello, Walter." She bowed.

"I wish you wouldn't bow to me like that." Walter sighed. "After tonight, you'll be my wife and we'll be on equal footing."

"Assuming Eugene doesn't show up, of course." Rapunzel mumbled.

"Yes, unless _that_ happens." Walter grumbled.

"Your Highness!" A guard burst into the room. "The Dread Pirate Flynn Rider is at the gate! He's wants an audience."

Before Walter could answer, Rapunzel bolted out of the room.

"Well, _que sera sera_." Walter sadly muttered as he trudged after her. "Have him meet us in the throne room."

Rapunzel ran through the halls, not noticing she ran right past her mother and the king and queen.

"Was that… Rapunzel?" Gothel asked.

"I'm not sure; I just saw a yellow and purple blur." Nancy commented, looking down the hall.

By the time the royals caught up with her, Walter had explained the situation and found the princess pacing in the throne room waiting for Eugene to be escorted in.

"Now, calm down, dear." Gothel said, putting a hand on her shoulder. "He'll be here shortly."

"I know, it's just…" She gulped in anticipation.

"Flow-Rapunzel? I know I come on a little strong, but if you and Eugene really do decide to be together… I'll support you and be happy for you." Gothel began regretfully. "Just don't forget that I love you, all right?"

Rapunzel turned to her mother and smiled, touched by the sentiment. "Only if you remember I love you more."

"And that I love you most." Gothel finished, kissing the top of her head.

At that moment, the doors opened and there, in all his Dread Pirate glory was Eugene Fitzherbert. He switched out the plain clothes he wore during her birthday for the old black pirate coat, gloves, boots and hat. All that was missing was his mask. He was escorted into the throne room by the guards and, surprisingly, Maximus.

"Max, what are you doing?" Rapunzel asked.

"He insisted on keeping an eye on Rider, here." One of the guards said, nodding towards Maximus, who gave Eugene an unwavering glare.

"I appreciate it, Maximus, but it's all right." Rapunzel laughed at the seemingly endless rivalry between the two of them. She then turned her attention to Eugene. She ran up to him and threw her arms around him in a tight hug. "I knew you'd come!"

"You did?" Eugene asked, not returning the hug she gave him. His voice was neutral, as was his expression.

When she let go, she looked at him in confusion. "Of course I did."

"Well, I'm here now, so what's up?" Eugene asked, folding his arms impatiently.

"Well, Walter has graciously agreed to call off the royal wedding because he's seen how much we care for each other. So, now we can be together and-"

"Eh, I don't think so." Eugene shrugged.

Rapunzel's heart fell into the pit of her stomach. "…What?"

"Yeah, sorry, that's not gonna work for me." Eugene flippantly said, picking a piece of lint off his sleeve.

"Wh…What do you mean?" She asked, feeling panic rise in her chest. "We… You and I were…"

"Sorry, Blondie, but I'm over you." Eugene bluntly said, giving her a look of irritation.

"What?!" She stumbled back as if he had punched her in the face. "What do you mean, 'you're over me?' What about everything we've been through? Everything we meant to each other?!"

"What about that? Here's what about that: it means nothing!" Eugene snapped at her. "You are too much of a weakling! You don't love me; you just want me as your little fantasy to rebel against your mother! When the chips were down, you folded and ran out on me!"

"You would have died if I didn't!" Rapunzel defended.

"Yeah, whatever you say, Blondie." He snidely replied, mocking their old secret version of "I love you."

"I was trying to save you!" She screamed in desperation.

"You were trying to save _yourself_!" He shouted back. "You just wanted to avoid the consequences of making grown up choices, so you abandoned me to run off and be a princess!"

"That's not true! Eugene, I love you!" Rapunzel cried, tears streaming down her face.

"Eugene Fitzherbert died five years ago! My name is _Flynn Rider_!" He punctuated each word with a poke to her shoulder. "And I. Don't. Love! You!"

Rapunzel fell to the floor, staring up at the hateful face of her true love. She could only gaze up at him in disbelief. "No… no."

"Now, if that's all, I'll be going now." Flynn Rider gave a casual smirk to the royal family.

Edward and Nancy glared at the pirate with utter loathing at his heartless display, and their son was absolutely shaking with rage.

"I was prepared to offer mercy for my beloved's sake." Walter said in a quiet controlled voice as he drew his sword. "But if you think for one second that you can walk in here, insult my princess and walk away, you are sadly mistaken."

"And you seem to have forgotten one minor detail." Flynn smiled arrogantly.

Walter raised his sword. "And this is…?"

"I'm the Dread Pirate Flynn Rider!" He snapped his fingers and a large black horse leapt through a window and ran over to him. In a flash, he jumped onto the creature's back and rode out of the throne room without a word.

"AFTER HIM!" Walter roared as the pirate galloped out the front gate. He turned and saw Rapunzel still sitting on the floor in a daze. She just stared off into space where the man she thought was her true love stood. He sheathed his sword and bent down to her. "I'm so sorry, Rapunzel. I never wanted you to be hurt like this."

"I know." She answered in a very small, far away voice.

The prince helped her stand up, which led to a huge hug from her mother, the prince, and the king and queen.

"I'm sorry, darling." Gothel ran a comforting hand down her hair.

"It'll be all right, Punzie." Nancy whispered, hugging her close.

"Yes, it will." She replied in an emotionless voice. "I… I need a few minutes to… to um…"

"Of course, Milady." Walter nodded.

"Then, we can finish everything for the wedding tonight." Rapunzel finished.

"Of course." The prince agreed. He felt a surge of guilt at getting what he wanted at such a horrible cost.

"I'll take her to her room." Gothel intoned, leading the shell shocked Rapunzel out of the room. The walk to her room was quiet; even Gothel couldn't find words to describe what had happened.

"You were right…" Rapunzel said out of nowhere as her face crumpled. "You were right about everything."

"I know dear, I know." She said, patting her back. "I really did try to warn you what it's like out there. The world is dark, selfish, and cruel. If it finds the slightest ray of sunshine, it destroys it."

"I'm sorry I didn't believe you." Rapunzel sobbed, wiping her eyes.

"It's all right dear." She said as she opened the door to Rapunzel's room. She guided her towards the bed and sat her down. "Do you want me to make you some hazelnut soup? You're favorite?"

Rapunzel just shook her head. "I just want to be alone for a while, please, Mother."

"Of course." Gothel gave her a final pat on her head as she turned and left the room. When the door clicked shut, she gave a small triumphant smile. "Just one last loose end to tie up."

* * *

><p>As Flynn galloped out to the courtyard, Maximus took off after him at top speed. He was never as fond of Eugene as Rapunzel or Pascal were, but <em>now<em> he was out for blood. There was no way on Earth that insolent stable boy was going to break Rapunzel's heart and live. He chased the pirate through the forest, leaping over every obstacle, smashing anything in his way, but he was still falling behind.

He lost the trail after twenty minutes chasing, but he went on trying to pick up the scent. Finally, he picked up the smell of the heartless pirate he had been chasing. Curiously, the scent was different. It definitely belonged to the man he was chasing, but it didn't smell the same as when he smelled it in Corona.

Suddenly, he heard a rustling in the bushes. He jumped behind a large rock waited. Sure enough, Flynn Rider came sauntering out of the woods towards a twisted tree.

"Well, that was easy."

Maximus reared back to charge when Flynn suddenly pulled a necklace of some kind out from under his shirt. With a yank, he pulled it off and his body began to change before Max's eyes. He grew a foot taller, his long dark hair became short and red, his body filled out with bulkier muscles, and he quickly placed an eye patch over his scarred left eye socket.

The horse was stunned. He recognized the man as one of Rapunzel's mother's footmen. He had _pretended_ to be Eugene and broke Rapunzel's heart! The horse snorted in mounting rage. The red-haired footman hit a knot on the gnarled old tree, and Max watched a door swing open. To his further surprise, the old woman who kidnapped Rapunzel before was there too.

"Did you get the job done, Stabbington?" Yzma purred. The evil footman nodded with wicked satisfaction. "Excellent! The countess will be pleased!"

"Indeed, I am." Max's eyes widened as Gothel came strolling up to them as well. "Now come on, I think it's time we gave Mr. Fitzherbert one last round on the Machine!"

Max watched in horror as the door swung shut, the countess' evil laughter echoing in the clearing. Rapunzel was being manipulated and Eugene was being held captive and he was the only one who knew. He had to do something, fast. The horse hesitated, not knowing what to do. Rapunzel could communicate with he and Pascal, but how could he convey this subterfuge? Would she even believe that wasn't Eugene and her own _mother_ had taken part in this dastardly deception? He needed help! With a neigh of angry determination, the valiant horse took off in search of aid. He would not stop until his friends were safe and the guilty were punished, or his name wasn't Maximus.

* * *

><p>"I was hoping never to see you again." Gothel sneered as she paced around the table Eugene was strapped to.<p>

"Well, life isn't fair." Eugene shot back. He had been through unimaginable pain the last few days. The Machine had sucked away nearly thirty years of his life, and every setting hurt worse than the last.

"When I paid that merchant ship to sail into the Dread Pirate Flynn Rider's path, I hoped that would have been the end of it." Gothel sighed. "And yet, here you are, meddling with my plans for the future."

"Yeah, that's my job." Eugene smirked at her. "You know, I knew even back then that you weren't all there, but you really are ten different types of crazy."

"Says the fool who was insane enough to stand in my way." The countess sneered.

"When I get out of here, me and Rapunzel are probably gonna move out and get a place of our own. And, just so we're clear, I think it would be best if you didn't visit us for a while." He joked back.

"You're going to die down here and Rapunzel will never know." Gothel gloated. "Thanks to me, she thinks you don't love her and never want to see her again."

"Sure, tell me another one." Eugene rolled his eyes.

"No, I'm serious. She's heartbroken and all set to marry Prince Walter, and that's not even the best part." Gothel smiled as she leaned down to face him.

"What's the _best_ part?" Eugene hissed. Gothel whispered her answer to him. His eyes widened in horror at her revelation. She pulled back, grinning evilly at him. "You're lying. You're lying! That… that _can't_ be true!"

"Oh, it is. I want you to think that over while you die." Gothel said evilly. "You and Rapunzel truly loved each other and you _might_ have been truly happy. No other couple in a century has that kind of chance, no matter what the storybooks say. So, I don't think another man in a century should suffer as greatly as you will." Gothel grinned sadistically as she walked over to the lever and pulled it up. The dial went higher and higher than any previous session. Five years, ten, twenty, fifty.

"Not to fifty!" Tyrone Stabbington yelled, jumping out of his chair.

"No, not fifty! I said no one in a _century_ will suffer like he will!" Gothel cackled as she pushed the lever to one hundred.

Eugene's eyes slammed shut and his mouth opened wide in an ear-piercing scream. It was a scream beyond pain, loss, rage, despair or agony. It was the sound of ultimate suffering. It filled the Pit of Despair and still carried out across the kingdom.

Men and women stopped whatever they were doing and shivered in terror. Children ran to their parents and cried. People locked themselves in their homes or dashed into the nearest building. Everyone in every church for miles around began desperately praying. Every bird in the kingdom took to the air to flee whatever was making that horrifying sound.

By all logic, a human being shouldn't be capable of making a noise like that. It was worse than a wounded animal or a man in torment. The only thing anyone could think of that could produce a sound like that was if the evil Chernabog had begun one of his hellish revelries on Bald Mountain.

King Edward and Queen Nancy held each other close as the scream filtered into the throne room. Walter drew his sword and looked around; expecting whatever was making that noise to jump out at any moment.

When Rapunzel heard the noise, she was curled up in bed crying in despair. As she registered the noise, her sorrow only intensified. Her heart had continuously made that sound since "Eugene" broke her heart and crushed her soul. Now, it pierced through her body right to her bones. She felt physical pain as the sound of ultimate suffering overcame her. She passed out from shock as the scream spread across the kingdom until it finally found…

* * *

><p>"Whoops!"<p>

"What?!" Rose and Zachary practically screamed.

"Sorry, children. It slipped out of my hands." Their grandfather said as he picked the book up off the ground and flipped back through the pages. "Let's see, we were on page 236, I think."

* * *

><p><strong>Author's note:<strong> _Wow_, this chapter turned out a lot darker than I had planned. Oh well, I'll just have to up the comedy in the next update.

Leave a review cause it makes me update faster. And every second there isn't an update, Rapunzel and Eugene remain stuck in ultimate suffering mode.


	15. Tangled Die Hard

We interrupt this new update of _The Tangled Princess Bride_ to bring you something completely different.

**Tangled Die Hard**

* * *

><p>Eugene's mind raced. The gang of terrorists had taken over Gothel Tower and already killed his boss. He briefly thought about making a break for it and looking for Rapunzel, but the huge men with the machine guns probably would have had a problem with that. Suddenly a group of the fanatics filed into the room looking mad as hell. A large, bulky thug with red hair angrily kicked over a table and stomped on it in a full blown temper tantrum.<p>

An executive named Philip scoffed. "Man, something pissed him off good."

"She's alive." Eugene whispered ecstatically under his breath.

"What?" Asked Philip.

"There's only person in the world that can rile a man up that bad, and that's Blondie." Eugene grinned as the terrorist proceeded to stomp the table pieces into smaller pieces.

The three furious terrorists stormed into the office and began barraging their leader with questions.

"Frollo, the police are here!" Maleficent snarled.

"There must be fifty cars out there!" Jafar shouted in a rage.

Hades ran a hand through his hair. "If they get in here before we can…"

"ALL OF YOU RELAX!" The older man yelled over the din. "This is just a matter of inconvenient timing! Police involvement was inevitable and… unfortunately necessary. Stay at your posts. We're still in control and we need to stay cal.."

Frollo was cut off as his walkie-talkie buzzed as someone somewhere called. "I told all of you, I want radio silence until further-"

"I'm so _sorry_, Frollo." The older man was cut off by a young woman's voice over the radio.

"What?" Frollo gasped at the unfamiliar voice.

"I didn't get that message about radio silence." Up on the 34th floor, Rapunzel relieved the dead terrorists of their weapons and searched for anything else that might be useful. "Sorry for the inconvenience, but since I took care of McLeach and Gaston, and threw their friend out the window, I thought that you and Maleficent and Jafar would get lonely, so I thought I'd check up on you."

"How does she know so much?!" Jafar demanded as Frollo put up a hand to silence him.

"That's very kind of you." Frollo said casually into the walkie-talkie. "I assume you are our mysterious party crasher. You sound awfully young for… a security guard?"

"EERRRH!" Rapunzel imitated a game-show buzzer as she searched the dead terrorist's pockets. "Sorry Frollo, wrong answer. But you can still make a comeback in Double Jeopardy."

"How reassuring." Frollo sarcastically replied. He turned to his comrades and harshly whispered, "Do a headcount on everyone! See if she's telling the truth about McLeach and Gaston and see if anyone else is missing!"

Meanwhile, Rapunzel looked through Gaston's pockets for anything that might help. All she found was a pack of cigarettes. "These'll kill ya, you know."

The radio crackled to life as Frollo called back. "If you aren't a security guard, then who are you? Don't tell me you're one of these spineless fat cat executives."

"Nope, I'm just a fly in the ointment, a wrench in the works, a pain in your ass." Rapunzel mocked while she looked through McLeach's satchel. She found several detonators and a brick of plastic explosives. "Whoa."

She hauled the satchel over her shoulder and grabbed her gun. She slowly stalked around the room, stepping carefully to avoid stepping on sharp objects. As much as she enjoyed going barefoot, she felt uneasy walking around without shoes during a terrorist attack.

"Ms. Mystery Guest? Are you still there?" Frollo's voice came over the radio.

"Yeah, I'm still here. Unless you want to be a nice guy and let me out the front door." Rapunzel half joked, peering around corners as she went to the stairwell doors across from the elevator.

"I'm afraid that isn't possible. Still, you have me at a disadvantage, you know my name, but I don't know who you are?" Frollo went on in a transparent attempt to sound casual.

"I'm the lady who's going to mess things up for you and your friends." Rapunzel proclaimed with a wicked grin as she looked around a corner at the elevator.

"You're living in a fairytale if you believe that, miss. Though, I suspect you're used to that. I'd wager you're just another product of a shallow, materialistic culture." Frollo went on mockingly. "Another spoiled little rich girl who grew up thinking she's Snow White? Sleeping Beauty? The Little Mermaid?"

"I was actually partial to Cinderella myself." Rapunzel remarked half joking, looking around with her gun at the ready. "Lord knows I can relate to the mommy issues and the glass slippers are just _too_ cute."

"Do you really think you have a chance against us, Miss Princess?" Frollo sneered.

Rapunzel moved towards the door as she heard the elevator ring. "Bippity boppity boo, motherfu-"

* * *

><p>"WHOOPS! Wrong story!" The King's eyes widened in horror at what he had almost read to his grandchildren. He hastily flipped through the pages of the <em>Nineteen 80's<em> book, looking for the right story. "Let me see…AH! Here it is! Yes, back on track now!"

Rose and Zachary exchanged a brief glance before both asking simultaneously, "Can you read us _that_ story next time?"

"Sure, as long as you don't mind not having a grandpa after your mother and grandmother kill me for reading it to you." The King snarked as he found the paragraph where they left off.

* * *

><p><em><strong>April Fools! <strong>_

Don't worry, the next update will be straight up _Tangled Princess Bride_, but I couldn't let this day pass without having some fun.

As for whether or not I'll make a _Tangled Die Hard_, I'm undecided. There are plenty of talented writers out there who write good modern AU fics (I'm looking at you, JMetropolis, Beta-Gyre, Dinosaur Barbecue, and Fabulist). So, if any of you guys are interested in running with this idea, go for it. But if you use the "Bippity boppity boo, motherfu..." line, please credit me for it.


	16. It Would Take A Miracle

**Chapter 15: It Would Take A Miracle**

* * *

><p>When Rapunzel heard the noise, she was curled up in bed crying in despair. As she registered the noise, her sorrow only intensified. Her heart had continuously made that sound since "Eugene" broke her heart and crushed her soul. Now, it pierced through her body right to her bones. She felt physical pain as the sound of ultimate suffering overcame her. She passed out from shock as the scream spread across the kingdom until it finally found the ears of Hook Hand, Vladimir, Ulf, Big Nose and Attila.<p>

The five of them were wandering through the crowded streets of the city as everyone prepared for the royal wedding, when suddenly they heard that horrible scream.

"What the heck is that?!" Big Nose asked, looking around in frightened confusion.

"That is the sound of ultimate suffering." Hook Hand grimly stated. "My heart made that noise when the Stabbington Brothers killed my family. Flynn Rider is making it now."

"What makes you think that…" Attila pointed upwards as the noise filled the air. "…is him?"

"His true love's marrying somebody else and he's being held prisoner by his true love's evil mother! Who else has cause for ultimate suffering?"

"Good point." The helmeted pirate shrugged. "Come on!"

The five thugs tried to get through the crowd, but there were too many people.

"Excuse us!" Attila said, sliding past two men carrying a barrel of wine.

"Pardon us!" Big Nose said, brushing by two women stepping out of a dress shop.

"This'll take too long!" Hook Hand groused. "Vlad, you mind?"

**"EVERYBODY MOVE NOW!"** The giant shouted.

The crowd went completely quiet and parted like the Red Sea before the thugs.

"Thanks, Vlad." Hook patted his friend on the shoulder.

"Thanks for your cooperation." Vlad tipped his helmet to the crowd as the five of them took off through the streets.

They ran as fast as they could towards the forest, following the horrible scream. Unfortunately, after a while, the inhuman sound finally stopped, leaving them in silence.

Attila threw up his hands in frustration. "Great, now how do we find him?"

As if in answer to his question, a loud crashing sounded through the forest. They all looked and saw a familiar white horse burst through some tall bushes, neighing frantically.

"The princess' horse?" Vlad asked astounded.

"Careful guys, this horse is dynamite!" Hook Hand gulped, resting a hand on the hilt of his sword.

Maximus neighed and snorted at the large men in a desperate attempt to get his message across.

"What's he doing?" Vlad scratched his head.

"I think he's trying to tell us something." Big Nose rubbed his chin.

Maximus whinnied in affirmation.

"Well, how are we going to figure out…?" Hook Hand started, but he was silenced when Ulf pushed his way forward and faced the horse.

Ulf marched up to Maximus and began gesturing to him in his usual mime way. In turn, Maximus gestured right back and added a few neighs and nickers in response.

"What the heck is he doing?" Attila asked.

Ulf gasped in astonishment. He whirled around and gesticulated to his friends.

"What? The horse saw where Gothel, Yzma and my parents' killers are keeping Rider and the entrance is around here?!" Hook Hand gasped. "Follow the horse!"

Maximus snorted in frustration that they could understand the mime's antics but not him. He dashed off into the woods with the five ruffians chasing after him. Max stopped short behind some bushes and held up his foreleg to stop the men. They stared over the glen with the gnarled old tree that led to the Pit of Despair. The men gasped as Yzma pushed a wheelbarrow full of rocks through the glen.

"Ugh." Yzma grunted. "Where's a big strong idiot when you need one?"

"Yzma!" The old woman turned to see Hook Hand charge out with his sword drawn, followed by Vlad, Ulf, Big Nose, Attila and an angrily neighing Maximus.

"What are you doing here?!" Yzma gasped. "If you think I'm giving you your share of the kidnapping pay after you ran out on me, you're sadly mistaken!"

"We don't want money." Hook said, raising his sword. "We know you're working for the countess and you're keeping Flynn Rider prisoner nearby. Show us where he is or I'll let the horse persuade you!"

Maximus grinned evilly at the old woman, rearing back to charge.

"Stand back!" Yzma growled, pulling a vial of pink liquid out of her pocket and held it up threateningly. "Don't make me use this!"

"What's that, iocane powder?" Hook Hand asked.

"An explosive compound?" Big Nose gasped.

"Your cough medicine?" Vladimir shrugged.

"No! My most fiendishly diabolical potion ever! When I drink this, you won't be able to lay a finger on me!" Yzma laughed evilly… before doubling over coughing.

"Get her!" Vladimir roared.

Unfortunately, Yzma gulped down the potion and burst into a puff of pink smoke. When the dust settled, they saw Yzma had turned into… the cutest pink bunny rabbit they had ever seen.

"Awww! How cute!" Hook Hand sighed, dropping his sword.

"Cutie pie!" Vlad cooed.

"Adorable!" Attila blushed through his helmet.

Maximus just snorted in disbelief at how easily the thugs were swayed.

"See? I told you so." Yzma gloated in a cute little voice. However, her victory was short lived, as a hawk suddenly swooped down and flew off with her in its talons. "AH! PUT ME DOWN YOU OVERGROWN CANARY!"

"Well, that was weird." Vladimir commented, watching the hawk fly off with their former boss. "Now what do we do?"

Maximus neighed and desperately pointed to the secret tree, but the thugs were oblivious to his efforts.

"There's only one hope now!" Hook Hand solemnly pulled out his sword, closed his eyes and knelt down on the ground.

"What are you doing?" Big Nose asked, but Hook Hand ignored him.

"Mother, Father? I need your help." The Spaniard prayed, holding his sword to the heavens. "I have sought justice for your deaths all these years, and now it is within my grasp. There is a man nearby who has been wronged by your murderers, and we need his help to undo their evil plans. I need your help to find him. Guide my sword that I may find the Dread Pirate Flynn Rider."

Hook Hand stood up, his eyes still closed and his sword still held out in front of him. He slowly turned, walking blindly to wherever his sword guided him. The other thugs watched in awe as their friend was directed by other worldly forces towards their goal. Maximus just watched in weary disbelief at the stupidity of these men. Hook stalked towards the twisted tree that Max had seen the secret entrance appear in. He watched intently as the sword moved closer and closer to the knots and branches. Max's eyes widened as he grew closer and wondered if this would actually work. This thought was quashed instantly as the sword hit rotten old branch, which crumbled on impact and hit Hook in the face.

"Ow!" The swordsman yelped, rubbing his forehead. "Geez, Mom and Dad, what are you trying to do here?!"

Max huffed in frustration, vowing never to work with humans again unless they somehow displayed more intelligence than God gave a sweat sock. He trotted up to the tree and sniffed around. Finally, he pressed a knot with his hoof, opening the secret door.

"Huh, good horsy!" Vladimir said, patting Max on the head.

The horse gave a smug grin at the praise as they descended into the Pit of Despair. They wandered down the dark tunnel and found themselves in the Pit itself. Vladimir grabbed a torch off the wall and looked over the room. On the far side of the cavern, the man they were searching for lay tied to a table, hooked up to a huge, ominous machine.

Max neighed in fear and galloped across the room. Max poked Eugene's head with his muzzle and jabbed his arm with his hoof, but there was no reaction. The thugs scrambled over to see if he was all right.

"Cap'n! We're here to bust you out!" Attila loudly proclaimed.

"Come on, man! We gotta go stop the weddin'!" Hook Hand pleaded, shaking Eugene roughly. "Rider?"

Vladimir gulped and leaned down to his chest. "Guys… there's no heartbeat."

"What?!" The other men cried. They ripped the hoses and shackles off of him in a flash. Big Nose grabbed his head and tried to perform mouth to mouth resuscitation, Hook Hand checked for a pulse, and Ulf desperately pulled one of his eyes open to wake him up. It was all sadly in vain.

"He's dead…" Attila bowed his head in sorrow.

* * *

><p>"Grandpa, you read that wrong." Zachary said, turning more than a little pale. "Eugene can't be dead! He's the hero! Heroes don't <em>die<em>!"

"Zachary's right!" Rose hugged Pascal until he unintentionally turned blue. "Now who's gonna stop the wedding and kill Gothel and save Rapunzel?!"

"Well, technically, no one stops the wedding or kills Gothel, but…" The King began, but he realized too late that was obviously the wrong thing to say.

"WHAT?!" The twins yelled at once before bursting into fresh bouts of coughing.

"Well, I mean…" He tried again, but his grandchildren were inconsolable.

"Countess Gothel gets away with it and Rapunzel and Eugene don't live happily ever after?!" Rose asked outraged.

The King tried desperately to explain. "Now, I didn't say…"

"After all that, the bad guys win?! Grandpa, what did you read us this awful book for?!" Zachary demanded, angry tears rolling down his cheeks.

"Um…" The King looked hesitantly between them. "Children, I think maybe I've explained this rather badly. Just because things don't seem to be turning out the way you think doesn't mean things won't turn out all right. Though, by the look of things, you're both getting too involved with this story. You two shouldn't get all wound up and excited when you aren't feeling well. Maybe we should just call it a night and continue the story when you're better."

"NO!" Before he could move a muscle, the twins launched out of their beds and pinned his arms to his sides. Zachary frowned angrily at his grandfather. "We've come too far to stop now!"

"Please, Grandpa!" Rose begged, hugging his arm so tight it cut off his circulation. "Please finish the story! We'll be good, we swear!"

The King looked between them and finally sighed. "All right, but it's getting late and we can't have any more interruptions if we want to finish the story before your grandmother comes and tells us it's too late."

"We promise!" The twins declared in unison.

"And one more thing: I'll need the use of my arms back." He deadpanned. The children grinned sheepishly and jumped back into their beds. "All right then, we were in the Pit of Despair…"

* * *

><p>"He's dead!" Big Nose cried in anguish! "NO, CAP'N!"<p>

"Calm down!" Hook Hand looked around at the group. "Empty your pockets and see how much money we got."

"What does that have to do with anything?" Vladimir asked.

"There's someone who might be able to help, but he don't work for free." Hook Hand explained. "So, if you wanna save him, ante up and hope it's enough to buy a miracle."

"I got five crowns." Big Nose produced his money.

"I got five, too." Attila said, pulling out a small pouch.

"I only got two bits from working on the brute squad." Vladimir said, holding out two coins.

Ulf held out three gold coins.

"Add with mine, that makes twenty crowns." Hook Hand muttered, deep in thought. "It'll have to do. Get him up."

"Where are we going?" Vladimir asked as he hoisted Eugene's body over his shoulder.

"We're taking him to a doctor." Hook Hand explained as they climbed the stairs out of the Pit.

"Doctor who?" Vladimir asked.

Hook Hand shook his head. "Nah, he's probably off fighting Daleks in the future."

"So, which doctor?" Big Nose asked.

"Right, witch doctor." Hook Hand nodded.

"So… _which_ doctor?" Attila asked.

"Right." Hook Hand nodded again.

"What?" The other thugs asked, utterly confused.

Hook Hand stopped and looked back at them. "What?"

"What doctor?" Vladimir asked, squinting in confusion.

"_Witch _doctor!" Hook Hand said emphatically.

"That's what_ WE_ want to know!" Big Nose snapped.

"I just _told_ you, witch doctor!"

"Yeah, which doctor?!" Big Nose demanded.

"Now you got it!" Hook Hand smiled, turned and marched out of the Pit of Despair.

The other thugs just looked at each other, totally confused, while Max just sighed in frustration. If these humans were their only hope, they were doomed. The unlikely group of heroes trekked through the forest following Hook Hand to wherever this supposed help was.

"Ah, we're here!" Hook happily announced. The other thugs looked to see their destination; an old white boat that had somehow gotten stuck in the top of a huge tree.

"How'd the boat get up there?" Vladimir asked.

"It probably sailed there." Big Nose shrugged. "My question is, are you sure this is the right place?"

"Positive. It was the forwarding address on the hair growing kit I ordered from him." Hook Hand nodded. "Now, we just get up there and…"

A shrill neighing and a loud thump distracted him mid-sentence. The five thugs looked up to see Maximus standing on the top of the tree waiting for them to climb up.

"How'd he do that?!" Attila shook his head in astonishment.

"I told you that horse was dynamite!" Hook chuckled.

The burly men climbed up to the treetop and went to the door that had been built into the side of the boat. Hook Hand went up and pounded until finally, the door opened less than an inch, still held back by a chain lock. Through the crack, the thugs could make out a skinny man in a black suit and top hat.

"What do you want?" The man glared at them through the door.

"Are you Dr. Facilier? The witch doctor they call the Shadow Man? Known for havin' friends on the other side? Used to work for Countess Gothel?"

"Yeah, until the ol' bat fired me and thanks so much for bringin' back those memories! I'm not givin' out autographs, so scram!" The witch doctor growled as he slammed the door.

The thugs stared at the door in frustration as Hook Hand knocked again. "Please listen to us!"

"No!" Dr. Facilier opened the door again, the chain still in place. "Now scram before I call the brute squad!"

"I'm on the brute squad." Vladimir grumbled, as he stepped into view.

"You _are_ the brute squad!" The witch doctor yelped, slamming the door. The thugs heard the lock being turned and began knocking again.

"Hey, come on, we need help!" Hook Hand bellowed, but there was no answer.

Maximus snorted in exasperation and pushed the thugs out of the way. He angrily trotted up to the door and gave it three swift kicks with his hind legs. On the third, the door was knocked off its hinges and the horse trotted inside with a huff.

"I'm startin' to like this horse." Attila chuckled as he and the other thugs walked over the broken door.

Dr. Facilier looked at the horse, the thugs and the broken door in wide eyed indignation. He tried in vain to form some coherent words of protest, but eventually just sighed in frustration.

"So, about that help?" Big Nose asked, smirking at the witch doctor.

"Won't you _please_ come in?" Facilier asked sarcastically.

"We need you to help our friend." Vlad said, showing Eugene's body over his shoulder.

"Look, I'm outta practice. I'll probably end up killin' the guy." The Shadow Man scoffed.

"You can't, he's already dead." Vlad replied, shaking Eugene by the head to demonstrate.

"Huh." Facilier stared at the corpse and thought it over. "Hmmm, all right, I'll give him a once over, see if I can do anything."

"Great. Where do I put him?" Vlad asked.

"Set him on the table over there." The Shadow Man said, as he looked through his cupboards and finally pulled out a stethoscope and some other doctor's instruments.

"You play with dolls?" Attila asked, picking up a tiny cloth figure with pins in its head.

"Don't touch that! Voodoo dolls ain't kid stuff, buddy!" Facilier glared as he yanked the doll out of Attila's grasp and set it with the others on his desk. "Now, let's have a look see."

The witch doctor went up to Eugene's body and began examining him. He checked for a pulse, checked his ears, eyes, and even raised his hand just to have it drop lifelessly to the table. "Eh, I've worked with worse. Want me to zombify him?"

"No, we got enough problems without worrying if he'll eat our brains." Hook Hand groused.

"Fine, just offerin'. Don't want ya to think I'm holdin' the Golden Flower of the Sun out on you." Facilier shrugged, finishing his exam.

"The what?" Big Nose asked.

"The Golden Flower of the Sun." The Shadow Man explained, putting away his equipment. "It was this legendary flower that grew from a drop of sunlight. It had the power to cure the sick and injured, and maybe even prevent people from dying."

"You have that?" Hook Hand asked, expectantly.

"No. That thing was ground up into medicine eighteen years ago to save the Queen of Corona when she had some issues with her pregnancy." Facilier casually said.

"How do you know all this?" Vladimir asked.

"_I_ was the doctor who mixed the potion." The witch doctor shrugged.

"Well, all this is very interesting and stuff, but can you bring our captain back to life?" Attila asked impatiently.

"Depends…" Facilier grinned. "You got money?"

"Twenty crowns." Hook Hand nodded to Ulf. The mime walked forward and held out the tiny sack of coins to the Shadow Man.

"Twenty crowns?" The witch doctor scoffed. "I never worked for so little… well, except that one time in Corona, but that was savin' a _Queen_ and her kid. So, unless you guys got a real noble cause you need this guy for…"

"This is a noble cause! His true love's been cursed into eternal sleep and only he can wake her!" Big Nose cried.

"His son thinks he killed him and he ran off to live with a meerkat and a warthog!" Hook Hand went on.

"His puppies have been kidnapped by a psycho lady who wants to make them into a fur coat!" Vlad sniffled.

"He's the only one who can stop the god of the underworld's plan to rearrange the cosmos." Attila waved his arms wildly.

Ulf gestured to his friends, trying to corroborate whatever they said. Maximus and the witch doctor shared a weary glance and groaned.

"Okay, how stupid do you think I am?" Facilier glowered at the thugs.

"All right look, Doc," Hook Hand said fiercely. "I need him to avenge my parents' murders!"

"And his true love is in trouble!" Big Nose added. "She's being forced to marry someone against her will!"

"_Sure_, and I bet you need him to go get a magic lamp from inside a cave that looks like a giant tiger's head too!" Facilier shook his head as he went to a shelf. "I'll just ask the stiff myself."

"Ask him… He's dead, he can't tell you anything." Vlad scratched his head in confusion.

"Look, big guy, until you spend five years in Voodoo College and get your own witch-doctorate, just leave this to the professionals." Facilier said, grabbing a bellows and walking over to Eugene's body. "It just so happens you're friend's only _mostly_ dead. Open his mouth."

"_Mostly_ dead?" Vlad asked as he pulled Eugene's mouth open.

"Yeah." Dr. Facilier said as he stuffed the bellows into Eugene's mouth and pumped air into his lungs. "There's a big difference between _mostly_ dead and _all_ dead. A guy like me can deal with mostly dead guys. If they're mostly dead for too long, then they become _all_ dead and there's only one thing to do."

"What's that?" Big Nose asked.

"Forge a will where he left you everything he had." Facilier said, pulling the bellows out of the dead pirate's mouth. He leaned down to his ear and shouted, "HEY, DEAD GUY! IF YOU CAN HEAR ME, SOUND OFF! WHAT DO YOU GOT WORTH LIVIN' FOR?!"

The Shadow Man pressed down on Eugene's torso and forced the air out of him. Even though he was dead, the answer came as clear as day. "Myyyyyyyyy trruuuuuuuuueeeeee looooooooooove."

"There, see?!" Big Nose cheered. "He said, 'My true love!' What could be a more noble cause than that?"

"Okay, true love is the best thing in the world… at least I assume so, since no one will ever shut up about how dang wonderful it is... but that's not what he said."

"Wha-Yes he did!" Hook Hand roared.

"No, no, he clearly said 'miiiint juuuuuuliiiiip.'He wants a mint julep and I ain't bringin' this idiot back for twenty bits just cause he needs a drink. So get-OW!" The Shadow Man was cut off by a rolling pin slamming into the back of his head.

"You no good liar!" A short old woman ran yelling out of the next room. "He said 'true love' and you know it!"

"Just let me handle this!" Dr. Facilier snapped, earning a whack on the head from the old woman.

"Don't you speak to your mama like that, child!" The old woman angrily spat.

"You live with your mother?" Attila asked.

"I lost my job and in this economy, it's only option. OW!" The Shadow Man yelped as his mother jumped up and smacked his hat off with a wooden spoon.

"After that, I'm not sure I wanna be your Mama Odie anymore!" She yelled. "He said 'true love' and you're too scared to help!"

"I ain't scared of nothing!" The Shadow Man yelled, ducking the gourd Mama Odie threw at him.

"Ever since the Countess Gothel fired him, his confidence is shot!" She raged, grabbing a pot off the shelf. "He won't read your future! He gets too anxious to mix potions! And he won't even talk to his friends anymore!"

"I'm as good as I ever was! And I told you don't mention that name!" The witch doctor raged.

"What name, Countess Gothel?" Mama Odie asked sarcastically. "Countess Gothel! Countess Gothel!"

"I ain't listenin'! La-la-la-la!" Facilier yelled, running around the boat with his fingers in his ears.

"You know, I thought saving a life and laying siege to the castle would have less family drama." Attila whispered to Big Nose as the old woman chased her son around the room.

"Wait, Doc! You wanna get back at the countess, bring him back to life and he'll make her miserable!" Hook Hand yelled over the din.

"La-la-wait, what?" The Shadow Man stopped mid step.

"His true love is the countess' daughter!" Hook Hand explained.

"The one set to marry the prince, which would be a real good thing for the countess!" Vlad added.

"But if he comes back, then the wedding is off and so are her hopes for getting closer to the throne." Attila went on.

"Not to mention it'll break her heart and crush her soul when her daughter runs away with him and leaves her all alone." Big Nose grinned evilly.

"Break her heart?" The corners of Facilier's mouth began to twitch.

"In half." Attila nodded.

"Crush her soul?" He asked again, breaking into a full-fledged evil grin.

"Like a grape." Hook Hand shrugged. "But if you're not interested in helpin', then…"

"Yeeeeeeeeeeeeessssssss!" The witch doctor sang. The room suddenly grew darker, and a chorus of ghostly voices began to harmonize.

"Oh, here it goes." Mama Odie groaned, flopping into her armchair.

"What the heck's going on?!" Hook Hand yelped as the lights dimmed Shadow Man danced to the other side of the room.

"Are you ready?" Dr. Facilier sang. He threw down a handful of magic powder, creating a small explosion that revealed an assortment of masks on the wall, all of which were vocalizing.

"Are you ready?" The ghostly voices echoed.

"Are ya reeeeeaaaadddyyyyyy?!" Dr. Facilier sang victoriously as the largest mask's mouth opened, revealing an abyss of magic. He reached inside and pulled out a small, chocolate coated pill. "Restoration Central!"

"Restoration Central!" The thugs jumped in shock as the voodoo dolls began banging a set of drums with their needles.

"Reformation central!" Facilier sang, approaching Eugene's prone body.

"Reformation central!" A series of shrunken heads chorused as they bobbed down around the body.

"Total resurrection central!" The Shadow Man sang, shoving the pill down Eugene's throat. "Can ya feel it?!"

The thugs watched in both terror and hope as Eugene's body began to spasm and thrash on the table.

"He's livin', he's livin', he's livin' all right! I hope you're satisfied!" Facilier grinned as Eugene's eyes snapped open.

"Whoa!" The thugs gasped in shock.

"But if you ain't, don't blame me! You can blame my friends on the other siiiiiiiide!" Dr. Facilier sang as he danced across the room.

"You got what you wanted!" The Voodoo dolls jumped over the thugs, who ducked in fear. One of them grabbed the bag of coins out of Ulf's hand and danced off with it. "But you lost what you had!"

"AHAHAHAHAHA!" The Shadow Man did a perfect power slide across the room, ending with a final blast, plunging the room into total darkness.

"Oh, for cryin' out loud!" Mama Odie grumbled as she drew the shades from a window to let more light back in.

"What the heck was that?!" Attila asked, looking around half expecting one of the masks to start singing again.

"That was my boy bein' a big old show off!" Mama Odie grumbled as she opened more curtains.

"What's going on? Where am I?!" Eugene yelled. "Why can't I move?!"

"He can't move?" Hook and gasped.

"Oh, relax, that's normal." Dr. Facilier waved dismissively. "Once he's been alive again for a while, he'll get his motor control back."

"I'm alive?" Eugene looked around the place, eventually spotting Maximus. "Yep, I'm alive, no way would _you_ be in Heaven."

Max just snorted in mild annoyance, but gave him a grudgingly affectionate smirk.

"How'd I get here?"

"We brought you." He looked up and saw Attila, Big Nose, Hook Hand, Ulf and Vladimir looking at him.

"Hey, shipmates." Eugene frowned as he looked at the former mercenaries he'd done battle with. "Are we friends or enemies now? I forget how we left off?"

"Well, your girlfriend's mother's footmen are the guys who killed my parents." Hook Hand started. "So, if you wanna save the princess from them, then we're on the same side."

"Great." Eugene said as he looked awkwardly around. "Can you guys sit me up?"

The thugs pulled him up into a sitting position and let him go. Unfortunately, they didn't balance him very well and he fell face first onto the floor.

"This is not the best experience to come back to life on." Eugene grumbled.

"Sorry, Cap'n," Attila said, pulling him up. "But we have to start planning."

"Planning what?" Eugene asked.

"The wedding between the prince and Rapunzel is tonight!" Vladimir explained. "We have to get past sixty men, get into the castle and stop the wedding."

"After I kill Gothel's footmen and avenge my parents." Hook Hand added grimly.

"And we have to do all this by _tonight_?" Eugene sighed. "What do we have on our side?"

"My steel, Vlad's strength, Ulf's… talents, and your brains." Hook Hand explained.

"That's it?" Eugene asked incredulously. He turned to Big Nose and Attila. "Guys, what about the rest of the crew?"

"Gothel's men threw them in the dungeon. It's just the six of us." Attila explained. A sharp clang was heard as Max hoofed Attila in the head. "Make that seven"

"Great." Eugene groaned. "Admittedly, you guys aren't exactly slouches, but we're still looking at sixty guys, and probably a lot more guards in the castle. With the wedding, security will be upped even more than normal."

"Yep, y'all are toast." Dr. Facilier said, counting his money.

"If only we had a wheelbarrow, that'd be a start." Eugene thought aloud.

"We do." Vlad's eyes lit up. "When we found Yzma, she had one and it's still there by the secret tree."

"All right…" Eugene thought quicker. "Well, do we have… a holocaust cloak, preferably one large enough to fit the big guy with the unicorns here?"

"I don't think so." Vlad shook his head.

"_I _happen to have one." The Shadow Man interrupted, smiling deviously. "Of course, seein' how y'all _really_ need it, I don't suppose I'll charge ya too much."

"Aw, just give it to 'em!" Mama Odie said, tossing a gigantic piece of black fabric to the Vladimir. "It was never any use any way."

"Great, Mama." Facilier groaned, before getting a kick to the knee. "Ow!"

"Don't think a little 197 year old blind lady can't still whoop you for sassin' me!" Mama Odie sternly reprimanded her son.

"I'll need a sword when I can actually hold one again." Eugene went on, grinning evilly. "And we need to go get one more thing: our secret weapon!"

"What's that, Rider?" Hook Hand asked.

"Oh, you'll see." Eugene grinned, turning to the Shadow Man and his mother. "Don't suppose you guys feel up for a fight? A little magic in our camp would."

"Sorry, pal. I _did_ my part." Facilier sniffed, stowing the bag of coins in his jacket.

"Hmph!" Mama Odie scoffed. "Figures. Sorry boys, but my magic can't hurt people. But, I got somethin' that might help. _Juju!_ Get Mama's bag of tricks!"

A closet door flew open and a long albino snake slithered over to Big Nose, holding a bag in its chair.

"Uh… Thanks." Big Nose nervously took the bag from the smiling snake.

"There's a bunch of smoke bombs and firecrackers that might help with distractin' folks in your way." Mama Odie explained.

"Thanks Ma'am, you've been a big help." Eugene smiled at the old woman. He turned to Dr. Facilier and gave him a wink. "Thanks for the jump-start, pal. You helped a lot more than you even know."

"Eh, no problem, but y'all are just askin' for trouble." The Shadow Man sighed indifferently.

"It's what we do." Eugene grinned.

"Yeah, well, fair warnin': don't get killed in the next three days." Facilier warned.

"We'll make an effort." Eugene sarcastically replied to the Shadow Man.

"No, little man, you don't get it." The witch doctor grimly explained. "The miracle pill that brought you back takes a powerful bit of magic to make. It'd take me three days to charge up enough to make another one, and by then it'd be too late to keep ya goin' from _mostly_ dead to _all_ dead. So, if you die in the next three days, you _ain't_ comin' back."

"Actually, that won't be a problem." Eugene shrugged.

"Hey, you just shrugged!" Vladimir said cheerfully.

"Sorry, Big Guy, but it's gonna take more than a little shoulder shake to make me feel better." Eugene groaned.

"Come on, we need to get planning!" Eugene declared. "Let's go."

"YEAH!" The thugs pulled Eugene up and dragged him towards the front door.

"All right guys, just wait a sec-" Eugene never finished since the thugs held him so high that he smacked his head on the door frame. "OW!"

Maximus nickered and shook his head in defeat as he trotted out of the witch doctors' home.

"Have fun with your little siege, gentlemen!" Dr. Facilier laughed ruefully.

"I think them boys'll be just fine." Mama Odie smiled as the ragtag gang's voices faded into the distance.

"Please!" Dr. Facilier scoffed. "Five overgrown lugs, a psycho horse and a pirate who can't even stand up are gonna storm the castle? As much as I wanna see Gothel get what's comin' to 'er, it would take a _miracle_!"

* * *

><p><strong>Author's note: <strong>I was originally going to go for Merlin and Mad Madam Mim as Miracle Max and Valerie, but somebody else already used them in a _Princess Bride_ fanfic. So, I just went with Dr. Facilier and Mama Odie because they're awesome and I couldn't pass up having "Friends on the Other Side" in this.

Sorry for the lack of Rapunzel in this chapter. We'll get more of her turmoil, drama and more next time.

Leave a review if you liked it, hated it, or are indifferent to it. I always look forward to hearing from you guys.


	17. The Royal Wedding

**Chapter 16: The Royal Wedding**

* * *

><p>At the castle, the final preparations were being made. The last guests were arriving just as the sun set. The royal family had sent invitations to all their friends, within Andalasia and foreign nations, excluding Corona of course. Friends and distant family came in droves to congratulate the newly weds.<p>

Not all the happiness about the wedding was as wholesome however. From inside Queen Narissa's secret lair, Gothel watched the preparations for the wedding through a crystal ball suspended in stream of water.

"Finally, everything is in place. Rapunzel's rebellious streak has been crushed, that worthless pirate is dead, and the wedding is only hours away." The countess smiled as she put the finishing touches on the fake letter she planned to leave in the royal bed chamber. "Let's see… No, death by hanging doesn't have the right punch. Hmmm, maybe… Beheading! Yes that's… No, that's cliché. Ah! Perfect."

Gothel quickly scrawled out the note and grinned.

"Now there's just one last item to take care of." Gothel grinned as she polished the amulet around her neck. "Later tonight, I'll sneak Rapunzel off to that old tower and hold her there until the war ends. Then, the next phase begins!"

Gothel smiled as the amulet glowed blood-red and changed her clothes into a fine dress for the wedding. Everything was going according to plan so well, she felt like singing.

"When a woman acquires a certain age,  
>"And the men who adored you no longer swoon<br>"Take power of a magical sunlight flower  
>"That blooms by the light of the kindly moon.<br>"But the moon grows old just like us all  
>"And her beautiful years are done<br>"So now she prays through endless days  
>"To take her revenge on the sun."! Gothel snarled, as she conjured a flag of the kingdom of Corona.<p>

"When some queen was sick and she could have died  
>"They destroyed my precious flower<br>"But in her baby's hair resides  
>"Its magic healing power!<p>

"I showed those royal dummies!  
>"Their princess thinks that I'm her mummy!<br>"And Mother knows best that a girl should strive  
>"To help her dear old mumsy stay alive!" She danced across the evil lair, snuffing out candles as she went.<p>

"I raised her well to be afraid  
>"I thought my looks would never fade!<br>"So her purpose in life would be  
>"To give eternal youth to me!<br>"It was always my ambition  
>"To shape her disposition<br>"And keep my acquisition  
>"Of that magic hair divine!<p>

"Every floating lantern's starshine  
>"Still threatens my youth!<br>"Who to blame?  
>"Who the one?<br>"Who to curse?  
>"You know the one to blame is that damn kingdom of the sun!" To punctuate her declaration, she burned the Coronan flag to ashes with a snap of her fingers.<p>

"Snuff out the lights!  
>"Claim my rights<br>"To my world of darkness!

"Snuff out the lights!  
>"Neophytes<br>"Of my world of darkness!"

"Ha! War with Corona will be on!  
>"Like my wrinkles, they'll be gone!<br>"I could squeeze myself with glee  
>"The power that will come to me!<br>"I've really stopped at nothing  
>"Murder, treachery and lying!<br>"Whatever it takes to keep my looks!  
>"You really can't blame a girl for trying! Ha!"<p>

"Snuff out the lights!  
>"Claim my rights<br>"To my world of darkness!  
>"Snuff out the…"<p>

"Your Grace?"

"WHAT?!" Gothel jumped back in shock as the Stabbingtons appeared at her side.

"The guests are arriving. You'll be expected up to greet them with the rest of the royal family." Her footmen bowed.

"_KNOCK_ BEFORE YOU COME INTO THE LAIR!" Gothel shrieked as she tried to smooth her hair and robe. "Did you see anything?!"

"No, Your Grace, we _didn't_ see you shaking your groove thang and singing an over-the-top show stopping number about your schemes again." Tyrone Stabbington replied in perfect deadpan as he rolled his eyes.

"Good! Get out!" The countess growled.

"Just like all the other times she was singing about being prepared for poor unfortunate souls in hellfire. What is it with everyone in this place and singin' all the time?" Tyrone Stabbington grumbled under his breath. His brother just shrugged as the two of them make their way out of the lair.

When she was sure they were gone, Gothel muttered to herself, "Note to self: get locks for lair."

* * *

><p>Rapunzel looked at herself in the mirror. Her hair was braided with silver ribbons and white roses. She was an angelic vision of gold and white in her wedding dress. The sleeveless gown was simple, yet elegant, and thankfully less layers than the poofy monstrosity she wore when they announced her as the princess. She set a tiara with a veil on her head and let it all sink in. Within an hour, maybe two, she and Walter would be married. She gave a shudder at the memory of her mother's description of what the wedding night usually involved. Her thoughts drifted to the future.<p>

An instinct told her to burst into song at the injustice of it all. Her mind could hear a melancholy melody playing and words about how she dreamed a dream in time gone by and now life had killed the dream she dreamed. However, she didn't have the will to sing, even if it was to express her sadness.

Pascal chirped worriedly from his perch on her vanity. Her eyes were glazed and far away as she put on the brooch that the queen had given her as her something borrowed for the wedding. He didn't like how she was acting. Even when they brought her back the first time, she wasn't this bad. He watched as she walked robotically over to her dresser and pulled a drawer open. She pulled out the flag of Corona Eugene had gotten for her on her birthday. Her hand shook as she held the tiny cloth close to her heart.

The lizard hopped down and crawled across the room towards her, not seeing that she had taken something else out of the drawer and stored it in her dress along with the flag.

"I'm all right, Pascal." She said robotically, but Pascal knew that was a lie just as much as she did. "Actually, _no_ I'm not all right. In fact, I'm probably as far from all right as a person can get."

A knock suddenly interrupted her thoughts.

"Come in." Rapunzel called out. Gothel sauntered in smiling brilliantly. "Hello, Mother."

"Oh, Rapunzel darling, isn't it wonderful?" Gothel smiled as she wrapped her arms around Rapunzel's shoulders. "Soon you and Walter will be married! I told you everything would turn out all right. And after all that nonsense with the pirate."

"Yes, Mother." Rapunzel mumbled.

"You know, I'm so happy for your wedding, I'm not even going to mention the mumbling." Gothel simpered.

"Mother?" Rapunzel stood and hugged Gothel, receiving the same hesitant reciprocation she usually received. "Thank you for trying to protect me from what happened earlier."

"It's what any mother would do." Gothel smiling darkly as she stroked her hair. "I love you very much, Flower."

"I love you more." Rapunzel automatically responded without a hint of conviction, not that Gothel was paying much attention.

"I love you most. Well, I have a few things to take care of before the wedding. I'll see you later, Flower." Gothel happily waved and strolled out the door.

Pascal whirred in disapproval for Gothel's insensitivity.

"It's all right, Pascal. She's just... just... just being her." Rapunzel sighed. "It's not like she means to hurt me, she's just..."

The chameleon grunted unconvinced.

"It doesn't matter." She shrugged. "It's not like she's the real problem anyway. She didn't _make_ Eugene be..."

The chameleon crawled up the desk and chirped sadly as he turned a dark blue.

"There's nothing anyone can do about it, Pascal." Rapunzel shook her head sullenly. She threw a quick glance at the frying pan-_their_ frying pan- in her drawer before shutting it with a sense of finality. "It was a _dream_; a stupid, naïve little girl's dream. I guess all I've ever done is dream. Maybe it's all I'm good for."

Pascal grabbed her hand and squeaked in denial at her claim.

"It's true." She pulled her hand free of her only friend. "Pascal… when the wedding is over, I need you to do something for me."

The lizard clambered forward, nodding eagerly.

She picked him up in both hands and gave him a look she reserved for only their most serious discussions. "Find someone who'll love you and don't ever let them go. Can you do that for me?"

Pascal hesitated before nodded slowly. As a friend and an animal he could sense that something was very, _very_ wrong with Rapunzel, even more so than before. He hugged her hand and chirped encouragingly. It wasn't much and he knew it, but it was all the comfort he could offer.

"Hey now, just because you're going to be my something blue, doesn't mean _you_ should be blue. Well, not yet, anyway." Rapunzel tried to joke, even laughing a little.

There was a knock at the door and her future in-laws filed in. The queen stood next to her in front of the mirror and practically squealed. "Oh, you look gorgeous, Punzie!"

"Indeed, Rapunzel." The king added. "Though, I still think we had gone with a more traditional Andalasian gown."

"Edward, it's gonna be hard for the band to play the wedding march if the bride can't even walk down the aisle." Nancy rolled her eyes.

"Oh, they can't be _that_ hard to walk in." Edward rolled his eyes.

"Oh yeah? Put one of mine on tomorrow and try to get as far as the throne room. I bet…" Queen Nancy was cut off as Rapunzel suddenly appeared in her arms and hugged her tight. "Rapunzel?"

The princess just squeezed her tighter in response. Nancy didn't need any further explanation and just smiled and returned the gesture. Edward came over and joined the embrace as well.

"Thank you." Rapunzel sniffled as tears came to her eyes. "You've both been so wonderful to me all this time."

"Of course, dear." Nancy said, rubbing the girl's back. "I know this has been very hard, especially with… what happened earlier."

"Mother, Father?" The three of them looked up as Walter appeared at the door. He suddenly jumped back out the door. "Oh! Rapunzel, I'm sorry!"

"Uh… Walter, what's wrong? It's not like I'm in my underwear or anything." Rapunzel called out the door.

"It's bad luck for the bride and groom to see each other before the ceremony." Walter's voice came from the hall.

"Well, you already saw me, so it's kind of late to worry about that now." She smirked.

After a second, the prince sighed and entered the room. He only took a few steps before the sight of Rapunzel froze him in place.

"I… you look beautiful." Walter stared in awe at her.

"Thank you." Rapunzel smiled and blushed at the compliment. She noticed Walter's own attire; along with his crown, he wore the dress uniform of an Andalasian soldier, complete with official sword. It was a deep red with a golden sash adorned with the royal crest. He looked every inch the dashing prince. "You look great too."

"Thank you, Milady." Walter bowed.

"Oh man, I can't believe this day is here!" Queen Nancy squealed as happy tears filled her eyes. "Oh, I promised myself I wouldn't cry!"

"Now dear, it's alright. Just because our baby boy is all grown up and marrying his true love..." King Edward even as his own eyes filled with tears. "And he'll be going off to make his own family and OH SON!"

"Fath-ERK!" Walter grunted as his father grabbed him in a bone-crushing hug. "Father… I… can't… breathe!"

"Oh, sorry! Sorry." Edward sniffled as he let go of the prince.

"Come on dear." Nancy smiled, wiping her eyes. "Let's go meet the guests."

"Of course dear." Edward croaked as his wife led him out the door.

"Hey, could you take Pascal too? I'm sure he's tired of being cooped up here, maybe he can talk more with that chipmunk friend of yours."

"Oh, sure. I bet he and Pip will get along great." Nancy said as Pascal jumped into her hand. The royal couple left with Rapunzel's oldest, non-human friend, leaving the prince and soon-to-be princess alone.

"Heh, good ol' dad." Walter chuckled ruefully. He smoothed out the wrinkles in his uniform from the hug and fought to regain his breath.

"He's just excited." Rapunzel shrugged.

"As am I." Walter smiled lovingly at her.

"Yeah. The big night's really here." Rapunzel smiled almost genuinely.

"Rapunzel, I actually meant to talk to you about that… You went through a very difficult ordeal earlier." Walter whispered hesitantly. "Maybe we should perhaps postpone the ceremony until-"

"No." Rapunzel interrupted. She looked at Walter with a small smile on her face. "It's been put off long enough. It's time to do what's best for you, me and the kingdom."

* * *

><p>At the edge of the forest, the former Dread Pirate, his two shipmates, the three mercenaries and one disgruntled horse prepared to storm the castle.<p>

"Are you sure this will work?" Attila asked as he sharpened the huge twigs they gathered.

"Trust me. I picked up this trick from Captain Jack Sparrow, it'll work." Eugene said, trying to flex his fingers enough to hold his sword. "You guys get the tarp yet?"

"I got it." Vladimir said, as he and Ulf tied the huge fabric to the harness.

"Great, now we just need a mask." Eugene said, as he felt his grip tighten on the hilt of his sword.

"I think there was one in the bag of tricks Mama Odie gave us." Big Nose said, searching through the sack.

"Keep an eye out for the other stuff in there, those other tricks will come in handy too." The former dread pirate said as he finally lifted the sword a few inches off the ground. "Getting inside will be easy. Once we're inside, the difficult part starts."

"What? It'll be easy." Hook Hand shrugged. "You go sweep your girl off her feet, the other guys pummel the guards, I kill the Stabbington Brothers and avenge my parents, we dance, we kiss, we schmooze, we carry on, we go home happy. What'd'ya say? Come on."

"Gothel said she used her magic to make one of those idiots look like me, and he convinced Rapunzel I hate her." Eugene glared at the reflection in his blade. "I gotta convince her that I love her and that the guy who broke her heart was somebody in disguise _while_ fending off the guards, the prince and the nutjob countess, and I can't even _stand up_!"

"Oh yeah, _anything_ sounds bad when you say it with that attitude!" Big Nose scoffed.

Maximus face-hoofed at the supposed crack team of heroes. They were doomed.

"Rider, are you sure we're gonna need _these_?" Vladimir asked looking over the so-called secret weapons.

"Yes!" Eugene sternly replied. "Trust me, when the fighting starts, those things will probably save our hides."

"If you say so." The giant shrugged. "I hope we win."

Maximus raised a futile snort to the heavens. They were _definitely_ doomed.

* * *

><p>Night had fallen and the castle was abuzz with excitement. Guests had arrived from all over Andalasia and the surrounding kingdoms. Flags were hung, tables were set, the band was tuning up, doves were ready to be released, and the great hall of the castle was filled to bursting with people. At the end of the great hall stood Prince Walter in his dress uniform, smiling in anticipation. The guests chattered away as they waited for the ceremony to begin.<p>

"This is so exciting!"

"Doesn't the prince look handsome?"

"Do you think this girl came from another dimension too?"

Up at the altar, Pascal and Pip stood by a pillow with the wedding rings, chatting.

"Whaddya mean your girl ain't right?" Pip asked. "She's getting' married here, what's her deal?"

Pascal chirped a concerned response.

"Look, don't worry! Once she and King Chucklehead's boy get hitched, she'll be fine!"

The throng silenced as the organ began playing the wedding march. Everyone looked as Rapunzel appeared in the doorway. She head held high as she walked down the aisle. Her experience dragging her hair behind her had made it easy to manage the train of her dress. The veil hid her expressionless face from the onlookers, not betraying her feelings of walking to the gallows than to the altar. Pascal clambered up the skirt of her dress and turned a bright blue to complete her wedding attire. She took her place next to Walter, offering him a small smile as she took her place next to him.

At the head of the hall stood what should have been an impressive clergyman. The only church official available for the ceremony was an old bishop with a long beard that nearly reached his feet and the reputation of being the town drunk long before and after joining the church. He stood a not-so majestic three-foot nothing, in a white robe clearly made for someone twice his size. The bearded old man, nicknamed Bishop Shorty, stood smiling as the prince and princess took their positions.

""Dearly belob-belubbed-bebubbled-_beloved_, we are here today to pay our resents, uh, respects to our dear departed friend…" Bishop Shorty slurred as his mitre tilted on his head.

"Uh, Your Excellency?" A priest whispered to the elder clergyman.

"Oh, don't try and butter me up, pal! I told you, I ain't givin' you my golf clubs." Shorty replied, making it obvious he had once again partaken too much of the sacramental wine. The priest hurriedly whispered in the drunken bishop's ear. "Oh, the funeral is _next_ week? …Then what I am doin' here?"

"The _royal wedding_, Your Excellency." The priest whispered exasperatedly.

"Oh! Marrish! Mawwish is what brings hush togethah todaaaaay." The bishop continued. "That blushed arraignment! That dream within a scheme!"

* * *

><p>A blast of fog rolled into the square, accompanied by a deep, reverberating laugh. The guards looked out into the forest and jumped as a huge burst of flame appeared. For a split second, they saw a monstrous shape moving through the forest.<p>

**"LET THE PEOPLE OF THE EARTH HOWL IN DESPAIR FOR I HAVE ARRIVED!"** Came a terrifying voice from the darkness.

The men saw the horrifying figure glide into view. Its gigantic body was swathed in a dark cloak that barely hid massive muscles of inhuman strength. Two huge horns protruded from the abomination's head beneath the cloak's hood. At its back two massive wings flapped in the wind, blowing a hot breeze at the increasingly fearful crowd of guardsmen. Its hands were large enough to grasp a man's head and crush it like an egg, and its fingers ended in long black talons.

**"I AM CHERNABOG! THE DARK LORD IN THE FLESH!"** The demonic shape bellowed.

"It… it can't be!" One of the guards whimpered. "We're nowhere near Bald Mountain!"

The guard was correct, of course. The dark apparition was Vladimir wearing the holocaust cloak and makeshift wings and claws that the group had made that afternoon. The unearthly floating was the result of riding in the wheelbarrow while the other thugs pushed. The fog and burst of flames was courtesy of a smoke bomb and some party poppers from Mama Odie's bag of tricks. However, the illusion was so complete, the hundred guards were shaking in their boots from the prospect of facing the Devil himself.

"Do we light him now?" Hook Hand whispered.

Eugene, still limp and paralyzed, lay propped up on Hook's back for support. "Not yet, they aren't scared enough."

**"THIS VERY DAY, YOU ALL HEARD THE WAILING OF THE DAMNED AS THE DOOR TO MY DARK KINGDOM BURST OPEN."**

"I _didn't_ wail, I just yelled in a very _manly_ way." Eugene grumbled under his breath as his compatriots rolled Vladimir towards the castle.

* * *

><p>"So… so treasure your lub… I mean, uh… love!" Bishop Shorty slurred.<p>

He had rambled on drunken nonsense for most of the ceremony. The guests cringed with every slurred syllable. Only King Edward seemed enthralled by the display, desperately trying not to cry, much to Queen Nancy's amusement. Countess Gothel however, could barely contain her frustration. She had learned the benefits of patience long ago, but this was intolerable.

"Oh skip to the end, for Pete's sake!" Gothel grumbled.

"Well… if you insist." Bishop Shorty shrugged, apparently hearing her. "Have you the wings?"

* * *

><p>"Now?" Hook Hand strained as the group pushed their costumed monster along.<p>

"OK, light him." Eugene nodded.

Ulf nodded and threw a match on the cloak. The tiny flame instantly spread across the fabric until Vladimir was covered in fire, making him seem all the more demonic. The giant continued his act, safe in the knowledge that holocaust cloaks come with a fire-retardant layer of cloth to protect the wearer if it catches on fire.

**"ALL YOUR WORST NIGHTMARES ARE ABOUT TO COME TRUE! I, THE GREAT CHERNBOG HAVE COME FOR YOUR **_**SOULS!**_** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!"** The giant fiery demon charged at the crowd of soldiers, who scattered like mice.

"Ha, great work, Vladimir!" Eugene smirked. "Now let's… Vladimir?"

"AAAARRRGGGHHHH!" The giant ran in circles, screaming as the devil costume began to fall apart from the fire.

"Uh, Vladimir? It worked! You can cut the act now!" Eugene yelled, trying to get his attention.

"WHO'S ACTING?! _I'M REALLY_ _ON FIRE_!" Vlad screamed in blind panic. Apparently, the cloak's fireproof layer wasn't in ideal condition.

"STOP, DROP AND ROLL, VLAD!" Hook Hand called out.

Vladimir dropped to the ground and began rolling, but in the process rolled into one of the guests' carriages and set _it_ on fire. The horses connected to the carriage whinnied in alarm and took off running with the burning coach, starting a stampede of the other horses. The would-be invaders gawked at the chaos as the carriages ran to and fro in the square while the panicked guards ran in circles in fright.

"Well, let's go." Eugene shrugged.

"Right." Hook Hand pulled Eugene along as the group charged the gate. The only soldier remaining was the captain of the guard. Hook Hand picked Phoebes up by the scruff of his neck. "Hey pal, we need the key to the gate."

"I'm afraid I can't do that." Captain Phoebus gritted.

"Vlad, the secret weapon." Eugene nodded to the giant.

Vladimir cracked his knuckles and pulled out their secret weapon: a frying pan. The giant swung the pan right in the captain's face, and the impact sent him crashing into the gate hard enough to leave a dent.

"Oh, you mean _this_ key?" Phoebus groaned and dropped a key on the ground.

"Frying pans! Who knew, right?" Eugene smiled.

"Don't mind me, I'm just gonna catch a nap." Phoebus groaned and fell unconscious in the dirt.

"Sweet dreams." Vladimir said, grabbing the key.

* * *

><p>Back in the hall, the ceremony went on as well as could be expected.<p>

"So, do you, Prince Wilma…" Bishop Shorty slurred.

"It's Walter." The prince hissed.

"Oh, sorry. Do you, Princess Water take this… really pretty girl, and I should know, I've seen a few…"

"MAN AND WIFE! JUST SAY 'MAN AND WIFE!'" Gothel screeched in barely restrained rage, drawing looks of outrage from the other guests.

"Man and wife!" Cardinal Shorty declared with a drunken grin. "You may kissshh the bridle!"

Walter smiled and lifted Rapunzel's veil. She stared back at him with a neutral expression, but he leaned in for the kiss anyway.

Since the invention of the kiss, it has come in many varieties. The peck on the cheek, the kiss on the hand, the Eskimo kiss, the French kiss, and even the kiss of death, but there is one kiss that is almost never used and thus is almost completely unheard of. This rare and terrible phenomenon is a kiss of a broken heart. This kiss is the complete opposite of the famous True Love's Kiss. The kiss of a broken heart can only be given by a person whose heart and spirit are totally broken and has never been given to someone that person is in love with. It lacks any trace of affection, hope, passion, happiness, or any feeling at all. It is an expression of loneliness and despair so pure and concentrated, that it can even cancel out magic spells, particularly love spells.

When Walter pulled out of the kiss, his vision blurred and his head swam. He looked at his new bride with wide, uncomprehending eyes. He knew he had wanted to marry Rapunzel for over a month now. Yet now that he looked at her, he couldn't seem to muster up the feelings he had not five minutes ago.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" Before anyone knew what had happened, the bishop ripped off his robes to reveal a diaper, angel wings and a bow and arrow. The makeshift Cupid took off through the church as the crowd just watched in varying degrees of shock, horror, and amusement.

As the crowd gradually overcame their horror and went back to applauding the new royal couple, one a guard ran up the aisle to Walter.

"Sire, it's chaos outside! The hundred guards out front have scattered, the horses are stampeding with the carriages and they ordered the wrong wine with the banquet. Oh, and there are reports of intruders in the castle. It might be the Coronan agents the reports spoke of." The guard explained hurriedly. "I think it would be best if you and the princess retire to your room until the matter is dealt with."

"Agreed. Take everyone else to the ballroom, and double guards." Walter ordered in a hushed voice.

"Yes, Your Highness!" The guard took off.

Walter pulled Rapunzel aside and whispered to her. "Rapunzel? I think we should get up to my room. It's been a long day, so why don't we head on up?"

"Right, of course." The princess shrugged and waved goodbye to Pip. "Nice seeing you again."

"You too, Princess! See ya later Pascal! Have fun on the honeymoon, lovebirds!" Pip waved back.

"Right, _honeymoon_." Rapunzel smiled tentatively as she turned back to Walter. "After all, why wait? It is our wedding night, right?"

"Uh… right." Walter gulped in horror. He shook away the unease and led Rapunzel out the side door.

Meanwhile the guards herded the guests to the ballroom. In the crowd, Gothel pulled one of the Stabbingtons aside. "What's happening?"

"One of our men says there's a gang of intruders in the castle." Tyrone replied in an equally hushed tone.

"What?!" She hissed in outrage. "But who-Oh those idiots must have missed some of Rider's crew!"

"Sure looks that way." Stabbington nodded lazily.

"No, no, no! Everything's falling into place; I won't let some idiots it screw up now! Both of you take a squad of men and deal with them!"

"Yes, Your Grace." The Stabbingtons broke away from the crowd and rounded up a few of Gothel's soldiers. "Let's go. We have to find these guys before they ruin everything."

* * *

><p>Elsewhere in the castle, Eugene, Hook Hand, Ulf, Vladimir, Attila, Big Nose and Maximus snuck through corridors. They heard the music and chatter echoing through the halls.<p>

"OK, we need to hurry. The great hall can't be too far." Eugene muttered as his left arm flopped uselessly at his side.

"Wait!" Attila hissed, motioning for them to stop. "Listen."

"Well, that certainly wasn't the ceremony I expected." A female voice came from down the hall. "Especially at the end when the bishop streaked."

"Yeah, not exactly traditional, was it?" Answered a male voice. "I wish we could have gone off alone afterwards as fast as the newlyweds did."

"Oh no…" Hook Hand's eyes widened. "We're too late, the wedding's over!"

Maximus neighed in frustration.

Ulf covered his eyes and sank to his knees in sadness.

"So what?!" Eugene growled. "We're not leaving without Rapunzel! You heard them, she and the prince went off alone. They're probably on their way to the honeymoon suite. Let's go!"

"You're not going anywhere." The group looked behind them and saw the Stabbington Brothers flanked by eight of Gothel's soldiers. "You're all morons. All your friends are in the dungeon and your captain's dead. And soon you'll joi-"

"Hey there." Eugene smirked at the Stabbingtons, straining to wave his hand. "The whole death thing? Didn't exactly take."

"Well… that's new." Tyrone Stabbington shared a surprised look with his brother. "Men, kill the pirates, except for the small guy. The countess will probably want to deal with him personally again."

"Yes sir!" The soldiers charged forward.

"Well, this was easier than I thought." Hook Hand grinned savagely. He passed Eugene to Vladimir and lifted his own frying pan. The soldiers charged, but Hood knocked out all eight of them with the same ease and speed as he had with sword fighting. "Man, I gotta get one of these."

"Right?!" Eugene grinned.

"Why didn't you use your sword?" Tyrone asked, taking in the sight of the downed guards.

"Because I've been waiting for years to kill you two with it and I'm not fouling it on someone else." Hook Hand smiled darkly. "Hello, my name is Hook Hand Garrett. You killed my parents. Prepare to die."

The Stabbington brothers glared at the swordsman, and lifted their own blades in preparation for a fight to the death. Hook Hand took one step forward, itching for vengeance.

And then the Stabbingtons turned and ran back down the corridor.

"Well, that's just lame." Big Nose commented.

"COME BACK HERE YOU COWARDS!" Hook Hand roared as he charged after them.

"This changes things." Eugene turned to Big Nose and Attila. "The stealth mission is a bust. The guards will be coming, we need reinforcements. You two go to the dungeons and bust out the rest of the crew."

"Aye, Captain!" The two thugs saluted and ran off the opposite direction.

Hook Hand sprinted down the hall, the Stabbington Brothers just out of reach. They turned down a corridor and stopped at a door. Hook Hand quickened his pace, but they disappeared through the door just as he made it there. He grabbed the handle, but found it locked.

"NO!" The raging swordsman slammed against the door, trying to force it open. "VLADIMIR! I NEED YOUR HELP!"

"Uh oh. Here, take care of him." Vlad tossed the still limp Eugene to Ulf and Maximus and ran off after Hook Hand.

"THEY'RE GETTING AWAY, VLAD! PLEASE!" Hook Hand yelled in blind panic.

"I'm here!" The giant punched the door in with one swift motion.

"Thanks man!" Hook Hand waved as he charged through the broken door.

"No problem. Have fun avenging." Vlad shrugged as he ran back towards the others.

"This way!" Max and Ulf turned at the sound of footfalls coming down the hall. A platoon of royal guards charged down the hall towards them.

Maximus snorted in fury. He'd had enough of these setbacks. He was going to save his friends and no one was going to stop him! He grabbed a sword off one of Gothel's men with his mouth and charged into the crowd, fighting them off literally by the skin of his teeth.

Ulf gulped as he took shelter behind a corner. He wasn't very good at fighting, but he hurriedly created an invisible wall to prevent attacks from the rear. He didn't need to wait long as three guards suddenly appeared before him. They stopped and stared in confusion as the mime continued setting up his invisible wall.

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHH!" The guards looked up at the sound and saw Vladimir charging down the hall at them. They offered a terrified scream as the giant plowed right over them.

Ulf gave a shocked expression as he turned to look at Eugene. Unfortunately, the mime was in for another unwanted surprise as he realized that Eugene was no longer there.

* * *

><p>Prince Walter and Rapunzel walked down the hall towards the prince's room in awkward silence. Rapunzel was eerily calm, not looking at Pascal or Walter as they walked. She knew what would happen when they got to his room, but she had made her peace with it. It was the only possible outcome.<p>

"Say, Walter?" Rapunzel turned to her new husband. "Could you ask the servants to send up a fruit tray? I'm a little hungry."

"Oh, of course, Milady." Walter meanwhile was on the verge of panic.

He had just married Rapunzel and he could not comprehend why. He thought she was a good friend and she was certainly beautiful, but there was nothing else. He went over the past month and the complete devotion to her that had consumed his mind, and was couldn't understand where those feelings came from and why he suddenly felt nothing. By the time they finally arrived at the bed chamber, Walter was sweating.

"Well, better go in then." He said, giving a forced smile.

"Aren't you supposed to carry me over the threshold?" Rapunzel asked listlessly.

"Oh… right." Walter winced. He picked her up and carried her inside, and it just made him feel even weirder.

He set her on her feet and she repaid him with a kind smile. "Thank you."

"Y-you're welcome." Walter stuttered.

She looked around the room and smiled. The mural the prince had asked her to paint still spread across the walls. It felt like a lifetime had passed since she painted it. All those dancing, happy girls, the singing birds, the bright sun stared back at her. It brought back memories, some too painful to think about.

There was a sudden knock at the door. Walter turned to the door with his hand on the hilt of his sword. He stood up to the door and called out, "Who's there?"

"Just the fruit tray you ordered, Your Highness!" Came the voice on the other side of the door.

"Oh." The prince opened the door and sure enough, a short servant stood with a tray of cherries, grapes, oranges, pears, bananas, and apples. "Thank you."

"Of course, Sire." The servant smiled and turned back down the hall.

Walter locked the door behind him as he turned back into the room with the tray. Rapunzel smiled as she took the dish away from him. "Thank you, Walter."

"Think nothing of it. After all that's happened today, I'd feel even worse not letting you have dinner before be…" Walter trailed off as his eyes fell on the bed and what usually happened on wedding nights. "All right, that's _not_ happening."

While Walter silently berated himself for pulling his friend into a loveless marriage for some insane reason, Rapunzel took the tray to the writing desk. She sat in the chair and set Pascal down next to the tray.

"Help yourself." Rapunzel said, offering Pascal a grape.

The lizard thankfully slurped it up with his tongue and turned bright purple. The sudden color shift reminded Rapunzel of her hidden cargo. She reached down her dress and pulled out a folded purple cloth. She let it fall to the desk, and unfurled it. It was the same flag Eugene had bought her on her birthday. Pascal chirped curiously as he noticed that something seemed to be wrapped in the flag. Rapunzel gazed at the flag sadly. It was a reminder of a wonderful time tainted by the memory of the past afternoon.

"Milady?" Walter frowned as he noticed the flag. "I'm a little surprised to see you with a Coronan flag."

"It's… It was a birthday present." Rapunzel muttered. "Eugene gave it to me."

"And you still want to keep it after what he did to you?" The prince asked.

"That's the worst part." Rapunzel hung her head in shame. "He hurt me so bad, he stomped on my heart and I hate him so much for it but… but…"

"You still have feelings for him." Walter finished. It wasn't a question.

"Pathetic, isn't it?" Rapunzel just bowed her head and grabbed at her hair in shame. She shook her head as the anger at herself, Eugene and the entire situation boiled over. "I'm still wishing and dreaming that he'll show up and say that he loves me and what happened wasn't really him! That it was… I don't know, some evil thing in disguise trying to break us up, even though that's not even close to being true! And meanwhile I'm married a prince who loves me and has been nothing but wonderful to me…"

"Yes…" Walter sheepishly tried to interject. "Um, Rapunzel…"

"And I still can't figure out a way to just love him back instead of sitting here hoping for that jerk to come back to me! I'm a terrible wife, a terrible princess and a terrible person!" Rapunzel shuddered in guilt and anguish as Walter looked on, trying and failing to think of something to say. With a long resigned sigh, Rapunzel straightened up and took an apple from the fruit tray. She rolled out the corner of the flag, revealing a small glass vial. "I'm sorry Walter, but I can't do this."

"Milady, what are you…?"

"I wish I could forget everything that's happened and just be happy." Rapunzel pulled the stopper out of the vial and poured its contents on the apple. "I wish I wasn't an ungrateful wretch. I wish I was someone who deserved the love you've shown me. I wish I wasn't a coward taking the easy way out."

"Rapunzel?" Walter watched as the strange green liquid spread across the apple, forming a pattern of a skull before seeping into the red skin. Walter gulped in dread. "Rapunzel… _what_ was that stuff?"

"I wish I was all those things, but I'm not. You deserve to a better bride than an ungrateful, naïve girl who dreams that the man who broke her heart would come back for her." Rapunzel raised the poisoned apple to her lips. "I wish you all the happiness in the world."

"NO!" Walter yelled and rushed to her side. His plea was drowned out by a sickening crunch as Rapunzel bit, chewed and swallowed a mouthful of the tainted fruit. He grabbed the apple in horror and tossed it aside, but it was too late. "Rapunzel, what have you done?!"

"I'm sorry Walter." Rapunzel whispered as a wave of dizziness swept over her. "It's like the vows say, 'Til death do us part,' right? Sure, this… this is _Sleeping_ Death, but I…I think it counts."

"No, no, no, no! Rapunzel, look at me!" Walter desperately cried as her eyes began to droop. "Stay with me! We can still change things! Just stay awake!"

"You're free now. You're free to find someone who'll love you the way you deserve. The way I never could... And I'll be… free… to… dream…" Rapunzel whispered as her eyes closed, her breathing slowed and her body fell limp.

"No! No, no, no!" Walter shook her, but there was no reaction. He quickly hoisted her up and laid her on the bed. He tried shaking her awake again and shouted as loud as he could in futile hope of getting her attention even through the spell. "Rapunzel, wake up! We don't have to be together! You don't have to do this! I promise! We can fix this! WAKE UP!"

Pascal squeaked in a panic and pointed from the prince to his oldest friend.

"There's nothing I can do!" Walter cried to the chameleon. "Only True Love's Kiss can break the spell and I'm not her true love! OW!"

The chameleon had bitten his hand in rage and desperately ordered him to try anyway.

"All right, I'll try!" The prince awkwardly leaned down and planted a light kiss on her lips.

To Walter and Pascal's dismay, there was no change. The prince tried again, but there was still no change. He just kept planting a series of increasingly desperate kisses on her lips, cheeks, forehead and even her nose, but it still nothing happened.

"Oh, it's no use! It isn't working!" Walter cried in anguish.

**SLAM!**

The prince jumped as the door to the room suddenly flew open and slammed hard against the wall. Walter was about to order the newcomer to get help, but then noticed who he was looking at.

"Wha-YOU!" Walter drew his sword in a rage and moved to a protective stance in front of Rapunzel. "You heartless swine! How _dare_ you come here?!"

Eugene stood in the doorway, holding a frying pan in one hand and his sword in the other. He had regained enough strength to stand on his own, but not enough to keep from shaking with every step. He glared at the sight of the prince standing over the pale, unconscious and unmoving Rapunzel on the bed. A thousand indecent scenarios of what he had walked in on playing through his mind, fueling his anger. His own formerly pale face went bright red in fury as he unsteadily lifted his sword.

"Hello, my name is Eugene Fitzherbert." The former dread pirate calmly stated, taking a cue from Hook Hand. "You killed my true love. Prepare to die."

* * *

><p><strong>AN:<strong> Welcome back to all my readers, and hi there to all the new readers who followed and favorited the story. A couple of things to get out there:

First of all: SORRY, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, SO sorry for how long this took. A perfect storm of a busy schedule, prior commitments and computer problems has conspired to keep me from finishing this chapter. I hope it wasn't too big of a disappointment and I PROMISE the next update will be out quicker and won't take months.

I tried to keep Rapunzel from seeming too OOC here, but Buttercup was like this in _The Princess Bride_, so I to make her desperate enough to see no other way out to stay true to that_. _Writing crossovers and trying to keep the feel of one franchise without compromising the integrity of the other is hard.

Gothel's villain song is "Snuff Out The Light," Yzma's deleted villain song from _The Emperor's New Groove._ You can find it on Youtube, and it's AWESOME!

In other news, thanks to AlyssaMacki, this story now has its own page on TV Tropes. (applause) So stop by there and add to it if you like.

And as always, reviews are appreciated.


	18. Duels

**Chapter 17 Duels**

* * *

><p>After Vladimir broke the door open, Hook Hand charged down the hall after the Stabbington Brothers. The delay put him too far behind to see them, but he could still hear their running echo through the hall.<p>

He rounded a corridor just in time to see the brothers pull a door open. He charged down the hall just as they ducked into a room. He threw his sword at the door frame, stopping them from shutting or locking the door.

Hook Hand burst into the room… and found himself alone. He wheeled around for any sign of them, when he noticed, to his surprise, a darkened passage near a bent candelabrum.

"A secret passage! Clever sons of-." Hook Hand muttered.

He ran through the passage way and down the stairway. He squinted in the torch lit darkness, his sword tightly gripped and ready if the brothers appeared. He finally reached the end of the stairway and found himself in a cavern decorated with a witch in mind.

He crept down the last few steps, eyes shifting through the dark room. Stalactites, stalagmites, shelves, statues; too many places to hide. He took a step further into the room and paused, waiting for any hint of sound or movement.

He took another step, but there was still no sign of anything.

"COME ON OUT, YOU COWA-" He never finished his thought as a grey blur filled his vision, and sent him into darkness.

* * *

><p>With a roar, Prince Walter swung his sword at Eugene, who blocked it and parried. The prince struck again and again, forcing Eugene away from the door. The former dread pirate backed away as the strikes came faster and harder with each clang of their swords.<p>

"What did you do to her?!" Eugene hissed as he parried.

"It's not what I did to her, you thieving blaggard!" Walter shouted back, swinging for Eugene's neck. "It's because of you this happened!"

Eugene blocked the swing and thrust his sword at Walter's shoulder. The prince parried and returned the gesture. The pirate dodged, the blade impaling the side of the desk.

"Oh, you can't have her SO YOU KILL HER?!" Eugene roared, swinging his sword upwards.

"I DIDN'T KILL HER! SHE POISONED HERSELF!" Walter roared back.

They parried several times as they moved across the room. The swish and clang of the swords echoed off the walls as both men poured all their fury and grief into each strike.

"LIAR!" Eugene shouted, swinging at Walter's wrist. "SHE'D NEVER…"

"SHE WOULD AFTER WHAT YOU'VE DONE!" Walter deflected the swing, slashing a large hole through the balcony curtains. "You broke her heart, leaving her forced into a loveless marriage, and now you have the gall to show up here?"

"I'm not the one who broke her heart! And _you're_ the one who made her marry you, you stupid puppet!" Eugene snarled, swinging his sword, chopping the curtain completely in two.

A look of shame mixed in with his rage as he swung at Eugene's head. The enraged pirate parried, sending both their swords crashing into a pane of glass in the balcony doors.

Pascal skittered on the bed ad lay on Rapunzel's head, trying to give some fleeting protection from the ensuing fight. He saw murder in the two men's eyes and had a sinking feeling one or both of them might not leave the room alive.

* * *

><p>Hook Hand tumbled down, falling backwards onto the ground with a heavy thump.<p>

Chris Stabbington grinned as he and Tyrone stepped out of the shadows tossed the now-broken idol of Chernabog to the floor.

"The countess might get mad about leadin' him into the lair, but it won't matter in a minute." Tyrone Stabbington shrugged.

Chris nodded, looking back at Hook Hand's prone body. The smile slipped from his face as a memory stirred. He'd seen this man before, but he could not remember where. He felt he should remember someone with a grudge against them and a hook for a hand.

Then, his eye fell on the sword clasped in the unconscious man's hand. It looked exactly like his brother's sword. He wondered if it could have been made by the same sword maker. He gasped as he realized the connection. He idly reached to his face, his fingers tracing the eye patch that now adorned his face. He whipped around to his brother and pointed to the sword and the man's hook intently.

"So, looks like a decent sword. So what? Sure, it looks almost as good as mi…" Tyrone's eyes widened in shock. "No way! That's _your_ sword! But that worthless sword maker's son took… Ohhhhh. That's him! I took his hand off after we did in his folks! And he's… Oh man, he's been chasing us all this time? And when he finally caught up, he went down before the fight even started! That may be the saddest thing I've ever heard." The brothers shared a sadistic chuckle. Tyrone drew his sword and grinned evilly at the unconscious swordsman. "How's about we just send 'im over to meet Ma and Pa then?"

Tyrone aimed his sword for Hook Hand's heart. At the last second, Hook Hand's sword parried and sent it uselessly into his shoulder pad.

"Huh?" The Stabbingtons gasped. He pulled the sword back and swung down at the prone man's throat. It was blocked again as Hook Hand's eyes popped open.

"Hello." He jumped to his feet, sending the brothers reeling back. "My name is Hook Hand Garrett. You killed my parents. Prepare to die."

"Well, Chris, looks like we're gonna have a fight after all." Tyrone grinned as his brother unsheathed his own sword.

"Hello. My name is Hook Hand Garrett. You killed my parents. Prepare to die." The one handed fighter repeated as he advanced on the brothers.

The brothers swung their swords at his head, but Hook Hand blocked the strikes and swung at them. The brothers' had learned a coordinated fighting style to perfectly mirror each other's moves.

Tyrone came at Hook Hand from his right, Chris came from the left, both with their swords drawn and ready to swing. Hook Hand turned in place as they got within striking distance. He swung his sword back and parried Tyrone, then swung forward and deflected a stab from Chris. It went on for almost three minutes, the brothers getting more and more frustrated at the inability to land even one strike.

Before he could react, the bald man gave Tyrone a kick to the gut, sending him flying backwards. The footman crashed into a shelf full of potion bottles, most of which shattered on the floor.

"Since when do you kick people in duels?" Tyrone groaned as he stood back up.

"Well, I figured that I'd be fighting two underhanded, murderin' crooks, so why not learn every technique in the book _and_ fight dirty?" Hook Hand grinned, parrying with Chris Stabbington. "Oh, and did I mention my name is Hook Hand Garrett?"

"Shut up!" Tyrone growled as he charged Hook Hand.

"You killed my parents! Prepare to die!" He yelled back,

Hook blocked a swing and snagged the silent brother by the collar with his hook. With one quick throw, he sent Chris flying onto a table full of scrolls and books. The impact knocked over a candle and a bottle of lamp oil, setting fire to the ancient magical tomes. The fire spread as the oil spilled across the floor towards another shelf of scrolls.

* * *

><p>"I'll kill you, Rider!" Walter growled, stabbing down at Eugene's knee.<p>

"Not fighting like this, you aren't!" Eugene sneered, blocking the sword and swinging for Walter's stomach.

The prince jumped back to avoid the swing.

Their swords crossed, prompting Walter to shove him into the wall. The prince swung, at his prone enemy, but Eugene blocked it and threw a punch. Walter ducked, Eugene's hand barely brushing past his ear.

They crossed swords, and began parrying across the room. Eugene forced Walter back towards the wall. The prince thumped against a door frame as Eugene swung again. Walter twirled out of the way, swinging his sword around to parry. The point of the pirate's sword went to the wall, leaving a gash across a flock of birds in Rapunzel's mural.

Eugene pulled back, but Walter struck him in the forearm, leaving him open for a quick stab in the shoulder. Eugene yelped in shock more than pain. It wasn't a deep cut, but it still left him with an exposed weak spot. "Lucky shot."

Eugene swung again, but Walter ducked and came up elbowing him in the face. The pirate stumbled back towards the bed. Walter lunged at Eugene from the left. Eugene saw it and quickly parried.

The two fighters gasped. Their veins filled with ice as they saw that the last strike left them with both their swords now hovering just above Rapunzel's sleeping form. Pascal had turned ghost white and had thrown himself across her chest as a chameleon shield from the strike. If the strike had stopped an inch lower, it would have gone right through the lizard and pierced the princess right in the chest, which would have been tragic for both of them to kill the woman they cared so much for, her pet and oldest friend, and adding to the already critical shortage of perfect breasts in the world.

"Yeah, let's take this fight somewhere els-WHOA!" Eugene ducked as Walter swung for his head.

"I spared your life for _her_ sake, Rider!" Walter growled. He swung again at his opponent's neck. "If only she could see you now!"

"SHUT UP!" Eugene shouted furiously. He blocked the swing and charged the prince.

* * *

><p>The duel raged in Gothel's lair.<p>

Tyrone Stabbington had all he could take from this. It was time to end it. He signaled to his brother for the final attack.

"Hello, my name is Hook Hand Garrett!" He yelled as he parried against Tyrone. "You killed my parents! Prepare to-"

Before he could finish, Chris threw a knife at Hook's hand. The knife didn't cut him, but it made him lose his grip just enough for Tyrone to knock the sword out of his grip. The blade flew several yards away, leaving Hook Hand without a weapon while both brothers were still armed..

"Die?" Tyrone grinned as he raised his sword to Hook Hand's chest. "It's been fun, pal, but it's over. Say 'hi' to mom and pop for us."

Both brothers pulled back and lunged forward with their swords.

**CLANG!**

At the last second, something shielded Hook Hand's chest from the swords. The brothers fell back in shock at the sudden block and metallic sound. Hook Hand grinned as he held a frying pan at the ready.

"Really? A frying pan?" Tyrone raised an eyebrow.

"Hello!" With a swift swing of the pan, he knocked Chris Stabbington's sword from his hand and then clocked him right in the face. Tyrone gaped as his brother fell to the ground.

"Cute trick." Tyrone sneered. He swung his sword, only for Hook Hand to begin fighting back with the frying pan.

"My name is Hook Hand Garrett! You killed my parents! Prepare to die!" The swordsman grinned savagely. He pushed the fight towards where his sword lay.

Stabbington tried to swing his sword, but the frying pan blocked every strike. When they finally moved to where Hook Hand's sword laid, the one handed man threw the pan straight at Stabbington's face.

He ducked, but the pan caught the edge of his head as it flew past him. He wasn't knocked out, but it stunned him enough to break his and concentration and give Hook Hand the opportunity to toss the pan aside and grab his sword from the ground.

With his own sword in hand, Hook Hand pressed his advantage. Stabbington was fighting alone, his head was ringing from where the pan clipped him, and the increasingly harder hits from his opponent were backing him into a corner of the room.

"Whoa! Whoa! Wait! _Wait a minute_!" Tyrone was fighting a losing battle and he knew it.

"HELLO! MY NAME IS HOOK HAND GARRETT! YOU KILLED MY PARENTS!" He roared as he drove Tyrone Stabbington back against the wall. The mercenary gawked in fear as the furious swordsman backed him into a corner. "PREPARE TO DIE!"

Hook Hand a twirled hid blade, leaving Stabbington's sword hand exposed. With a roar and a final hard swing, he sliced the killer's hand off at the wrist.

"AAAARRRRGGGHH!" Tyrone Stabbington screamed in pain as he fell to his knees and clutched the stump that seconds before was his right hand. He gasped as he felt cold steel against his neck.

"Offer me money to let you live." Hook Hand glared down at him, his voice eerily calm. He pressed the tip of his sword into the disarmed man's neck, just inches away from his jugular.

"YES! YES! I'LL GET THE COUNTESS TO GIVE YOU ANYTHING!" The injured man howled.

"Power too, promise me that!" Hook Hand hissed, lowering his sword ever so slightly.

"YES! PLEASE!" Tyrone pleaded. He noticed that his brother Chris had recovered, and was sneaking up on Hook Hand with the discarded frying pan. He just starred at Hook Hand, trying to distract him. "WHEN THE COUNTESS TAKES OVER, YOU'LL ALL THAT I'LL HAVE AND MORE!"

"Offer me everything I ask for." Hook Hand took a step away from the downed Stabbington as the other brother raised the pan to knock him out again.

"Anything you want..." Tyrone hissed in pain as he tried to stand. "Sucker."

Chris Stabbington swung the pan down. Unfortunately for him, Hook Hand had heard him trying to sneak up and stepped aside just before the pan made contact. He jumped stepped out of the way and threw Chris Stabbington forward, sending the frying pan straight into Tyrone's face.

Tyrone yelled in shock and pain as the pan slammed against his nose. Chris wheeled around to attack, only to turn right into Hook Hand's sword. With one quick thrust, the blade went straight through Chris' chest, all the way through his torso, out his back and into his brother's chest.

"I want my mom and dad back, you sons of bitches." Hook Hand whispered in cold rage at the gasping killers. With a final thrust and twist of his sword, Hook Hand threw his parents' murders hard against the wall. The Stabbington Brothers fell to the floor, their black hearts struck clean through with the sword made by Hook Hand's father.

Hook Hand starred down at them for almost two minutes, unable to process what had just happened. The destroyed chamber was silent, save the swordsman's heavy breathing and the dripping of blood from his blade. After twenty years of searching, hoping and training, he had finally avenged his family. All the years of obsession fell away, leaving him unsure of what to do. It felt wonderful and horrible at the same time.

He suddenly took in his surroundings. They had destroyed almost everything in the room during the fight. Bottles of potions were shattered across the room, spell books and scrolls lay burned, torn or dissolving in spilled potions, talismans and amulets lay in pieces; Queen Narissa's painstakingly compiled collection of dark arts, a treasure trove of magic secrets that most witches and wizards would kill for was lost as collateral damage to the fight between two ruthless mercenaries and a vengeful swordsman. He vaguely remembered one of the Stabbingtons saying Gothel had a plan to take over, and he idly guessed that this much damage probably put a dent in that plan.

"Well… I guess me and Vlad and … THE WEDDING! THE PRINCESS! THE GUYS!" He turned to the stairs, stopping only to grab the second Stabbington's sword off the floor. He never broke his stride, even as he removed his hook to install the second sword on his arm. With both his father's swords in hand (or as-hand in one case), he charged back up the stairs. "HOLD ON, GUYS! I'M COMING!"

* * *

><p>"You've got more of a death wish than I thought, Rider!" Walter sneered as they crossed swords. "But if you're so eager for a fight to the death-"<p>

"No!" Eugene roared, pushing the prince back and swinging for his neck. "Not to the death, to the _pain_!"

"What the devil is that supposed to mean?" Walter demanded, slightly confused at the term.

"It means, you warthog faced, over-stuffed idiot, that the first thing you lose will be your feet below the ankles and the hands at the wrists!" Eugene snarled, the strikes of his sword coming faster and faster. "Then your nose, your tongue, and both eyes!"

"What, you miss my ears?!" Walter ground out, finding it difficult to parry as the pirate's sword

"Oh no, you keep those! I want you to hear every scream of someone going 'what in God's name is that mutilated thing?' with your perfect ears! THAT'S what 'to the pain' means! I'm going to leave you a deformed freak forever!" Eugene snarled

"You won't live long enough to carry that threat out!" Walter snarled in return.

Walter swung his sword, but Eugene was ready. He ducked out of the way, causing Walter to swing straight into the floor. Before he could pull the blade free, Eugene swung the frying pan in his face.

The prince fell to the floor, grasping the side of his head. He looked up and found Eugene standing over him with his sword held under his chin.

"You dishonorable…" Walter hissed at Eugene.

"Pirate. It goes with the job." Eugene replied in a voice cold and hard as the steel in his sword.

"Well? Aren't you going to finish this 'to the pain,' Rider?" Walter spat in disgust at being defeated by this degenerate thief.

"Not yet." Eugene calmly answered. The sword pressed slightly at Walter's neck. "Tell me what happened to her."

"I already told you, pirate scum, she poisoned herself! She somehow got ahold of a bottle of Sleeping Death" Walter glared at him, shaking in rage and grief. "She couldn't bear being trapped in this marriage. She still… even after all you did, she still loved you."

Eugene withdrew his sword a fraction of an inch. He shook as he cast a quick glance at Rapunzel's prone form on the bed. He tried to keep the hope in his voice in check. "She did?"

"She deserved better than…" Walter's angry scowl faded, a look of shame replacing it. "She deserved better than a pair of selfish fools like us."

Eugene stared at the prince for a moment in thought before asking, "You still love her?"

"_No,_ that's the strangest part! I _did_! Less than more than an hour ago, I did! And now, nothing!" Walter shook his head ruefully. "She was my friend! She was my friend and I did this to her and I can't even help her."

"Broke the spell." Eugene mumbled.

"Spell? What spell?" Walter asked.

"The spell that made you fall for Rapunzel in the first place." Eugene explained, lowering his sword.

"The spell that…what on earth are you talking about?" The confused prince demanded.

"I'll give you the details in a minute. For what it's worth, I'm sorry I said it was your fault when you were used as much as she was." The pirate sheathed his sword and turned away from the downed prince.

"Used? What… Wait, what are you doing?" Walter asked, unsure of whether to get his sword and continue the fight.

"I'm going to wake her up." Eugene stated obviously without breaking his stride towards the bed.

"You can't, you idiot." Walter groaned. "Only True Love's Kiss can wake her now."

"Good thing I'm here then, isn't it?" Eugene smirked. He set the frying pan on the night stand and knelt by the bed.

A fiery red Pascal hissed and chirped lividly at him from the bed. He had taken a protective stance in front of Rapunzel as a makeshift guard dog/chameleon, ready to tear the man to shreds…or stick his tongue in his ear, whichever was easier.

"Look, froggy, just let me wake her up first, okay?" Eugene rolled his eyes. He picked up Pascal and set him on the nightstand, getting a few bites on his fingers for his trouble.

He leaned down to the sleeping princess and-

* * *

><p>"Great, more kissing…"<p>

"Shut up and let Grandpa read, Zach." Rose grumbled. Pascal hissed in annoyance at yet another interruption.

* * *

><p>-And kissed her. A moment passed, and Rapunzel's eyes fluttered open. She blinked in confusion as she slowly awoke. Prince Walter stared in astonishment. The kiss had worked, which meant the pirate was telling the truth.<p>

"What? What happened?" She asked, as she sat up.

"Hey there, gorgeous." She looked up and her eyes widened at the sight of Eugene standing before her. She tried to form words, but anything that came to mind died in her throat. All she could comprehend was that Eugene was there, smiling at her.

**CLANG!**

He never saw the frying pan coming.

Eugene groaned as the impact sent him flying halfway across the room. "Ow!"

"YOU!" Rapunzel roared as she jumped up from the bed. Pascal jumped on her shoulder as she stood, ready as she was for revenge.

"Rapunzel, wait!" Eugene scooted backwards as she stood. "Just let me explain!"

"EXPLAIN?!" She screamed incredulously. She gripped the frying pan so tight that it looked like the iron would snap. "You broke my heart! You told me that what we had meant nothing! And you want to EXPLAIN?!"

"It's… um… it's a really good explanation?" Eugene grinned nervously.

"I'M GOING TO PULVERIZE YOU!" Rapunzel roared. Pascal scampered under a desk for fear that she might start breathing fire.

"Princey! Little help here!" Eugene shrieked as he backed away from the furious princess.

"No, I think I'm fine right here, thank you." Walter gave a satisfied grin.

"Thanks a heap." Eugene groaned, as the livid princess stood over him. "Rapunzel! Wait, please! It's not what you think!"

"Really? See, I thought you were saying you hated me and never wanted to see me again! Did you mean that in a _nice_ way and I just misinterpreted it?" Rapunzel seethed.

"Rapunzel, that wasn't me!" Eugene cried as he backed up into a wall. "I'd never do that to you, I _love_ you!"

"LIAR!" She screamed as angry tears blurred her vision.

"Then how did you wake up?!" Eugene desperately blurted out.

Rapunzel froze. "What…?"

"The prince… he said that you bit a poison apple, and since Sleeping Death can only be undone by True Love's Kiss, how are you awake right now?" Eugene pressed the question.

"He's right, Rapunzel." Walter conceded. "I tried the same thing and it didn't work. But when he tried…"

Rapunzel turned to Eugene, not knowing what to think. "Then, what was all that 'what we had was nothing' stuff earlier about?"

"It was a trick! Gothel's been lying to you and the prince and _everybody_ since this whole mess started!" Eugene explained regretfully.

"What?" Rapunzel turned to Pascal

"Blondie… she's not your mother!" Rapunzel gaped in stunned silence at Eugene's pronouncement. "She took you away from your real parents because of your hair."

Rapunzel couldn't comprehend what he was saying, and Walter was just confused. "But, that doesn't… then who… How did…"

"Rapunzel, I think you'll get your answers if you look a little closer at that." He pointed to the desk.

She walked back to the desk and gazed down. The Coronan flag still lay spread out, its little sun shining. Pascal scampered to the desk and inspected the flag for himself.

"What does this have to do with anything?" Rapunzel asked as she picked up the flag.

"Just look closer." Eugene encouraged.

Rapunzel scoffed in frustration. She had no idea what was she supposed to be looking for. All she saw was the same little sun on the purple field she had seen on her birthday. She stared at it and, suddenly, a bell rang. She did not know what it was, but something sparked in her mind.

She looked up at Eugene, but before she could ask what to look for, something caught her eye. She gazed at the mural she painted for Walter all those weeks ago, as if it called to her somehow. She looked back at the flag. The circle of the sun and the golden rays coming off of it looked back at her. She looked up at the wall, focusing on a woman dancing among some flowers.

"The flowers here… it almost looks like…" She trailed off as the picture seemed to fade into the sun symbol from the flag.

She gasped and turned to another part of the mural. She saw a nest of birds turn into the sun as well. A splash in the water suddenly became the sun. She gasped as she looked at the sun she painted in the mural's sky; it was identical.

She looked up at the sun and a flash of memory hit her of seeing the sun above her when she was young. She remembered it as a mobile over her crib. She saw a pair of blurry figures in her mind's eye, but they vanished. In their place was the mural she had seen on her birthday that showed the King and Queen of Corona and their Lost Princess. She saw that picture of the baby clear as day. Green eyes, blonde hair, and a few tiny freckles.

She had seen it on her birthday, just as she had seen the lanterns. The floating lanterns were released every year on her birthday, for the Lost Princess on _her_ birthday.

Rapunzel gasped and fell back to the desk. Eugene and Walter jumped to their feet and ran to her.

"Rapunzel, it's okay." Eugene said, patting her hand.

"Milady, what's going on?" Walter asked, bewildered by her reaction.

She gasped for breath, her eyes wide in shock. It all made sense. There were things she didn't fully understand yet, but the message was clear. She knew it in her gut and her heart the way that any person knows the deepest, abiding truth.

"_I'm_ the Lost Princess of Corona!" Rapunzel gasped.

* * *

><p>"Ha! Knew it." The twins said in unison as they high-fived each other.<p>

* * *

><p><strong>Author's note.<strong> Yeah, this was one of the big parts of the climax. I hope it lived up to the hype.

I know it's diverging from the original to have Eugene and Walter fight, but between the Captain and Eugene's animosity and the way the story has gone, I just _had_ to let them duke it out. Besides, it's fun.

We're in the home stretch, folks! Be sure to tune in next time, cause if you thought the fights here were something, just wait…


	19. The Final Battle

**Chapter 18: The Final Battle**

**Warning: Due to the nature and tone of this fanfiction, the author has decided to be a little self-indulgent in this chapter. The result may be awesome enough to get new readers, stupid enough to drive away readers, or awesomely stupid enough to give everyone a few laughs. Read at your own risk. **

* * *

><p>In the main hall, the wedding reception continued, despite word of mouth that there were intruders in the castle.<p>

"Ah, it's nice to have the whole gang back together for a special occasion." King Edward sighed as he reached for his wine.

"Yeah." Queen Nancy chuckled as she plucked the drink from Edward's hand. "But if you get into another drinking contest with the Maldonian prince, you're sleeping on the couch."

"Dr-drinking contests?" The king smiled nervously.

"You both ended up naked in the moat singing about the joys of stamp collecting." She deadpanned, grinning evilly. "Oh yeah, and it was the middle of _December _and you both almost died of hypothermia."

"Wha… We agreed never to speak of that again!" Edward whispered desperately.

Nancy was about to respond when Gothel interrupted. "Oh, I do hope Rapunzel is all right."

"I'm sure she's fine, Gothel." Nancy encouragingly patted her shoulder. "Walter's with her and the guards are everywhere. Nothing will happen."

"I hope so. If anything were to happen to her, especially on such a wonderful night in her life…"

The party came to a sudden halt when the main doors burst open and the guards escorted three large ruffians in. The guards' armor had been dented, their uniforms torn, and more than a few guests wondered if the three huge men were actually subdued or just humoring their so-called captors. Hook Hand and Vladimir gazed disinterestedly around the room, while Ulf offered the crowd a friendly wave that a few people, including King Edward, reciprocated.

"Your Majesty," Captain Phoebus bowed, gasping in pain. "We caught the intruders."

"Yes, well done, Captain!" Edward declared as he stood. "You deserve a pat on the back."

"As soon as pain stops shooting through it, maybe I'll take that up." Pheobus said, groaning from being thrown into the gate earlier. "What should we do with the prisoners?"

"Well, a stay in the dungeon would be the least they deserve after disturbing the wedding!" Gothel sniffed haughtily.

"Can you really call it 'disturbing the wedding' if the wedding was already over when we got in?" Vlad asked curiously.

"You listen here!" King Edward raised an accusatory finger to the giant. "You… huh… actually, you have a point there."

"Honey, focus." Nancy whispered as her husband's mind began to wonder again.

"Hold it!" The crowd stared in surprise and confusion as the newly wedded Princess Rapunzel and Prince Walter marched into the room accompanied by the Dread Pirate Flynn Rider.

"_Rider!_ How dare you show your face here again?! Guards, seize him!" Edward roared. Several guards moved forward, but to everyone's surprise, Prince Walter simply raised his hand.

"At ease, men." He turned from the guards and addressed the crowd. "It's alright, everyone, Rider and his friends have Rapunzel's and my permission to be here."

"Walter, what is going on?" Queen Nancy stood and asked.

"I'm afraid that a very serious offense has been committed by someone in this room, Mother." Walter explained, his expression never changing. "And, as much as it pains me to say, it isn't Rider or his cohorts."

The king and queen exchanged a glance. "Then who is it?"

As if in answer, Rapunzel stalked forward staring intently at Gothel. She tried to hold her feelings in check, but facing her "mother" made it all the more difficult.

"I'm the Lost Princess of Corona, aren't I?" She spoke barely above a whisper, trying to keep her composure.

"Oh, please speak up, Rapunzel. You know how I hate the mumbling!" Gothel sighed in agitation.

Rapunzel slammed her hands on the table and repeated herself loud enough for the whole room to hear. "I AM THE LOST PRINCESS OF CORONA! _Aren't I?!_"

The countess just stared in speechless horror, the color draining from her face.

"Did I _mumble_, Mother?" Rapunzel asked angrily. "Or should I even _call_ you that?"

"Oh _Rapunzel_, that's so silly! Do you even hear yourself? Why would you ever ask such a ridiculous…" Gothel reached out to put a hand on Rapunzel's shoulder, only for her "daughter" to smack it away.

"It was _you_! It was _all_ you!" The furious princess declared.

"Everything I did was to _protect_ you!" Gothel answered sternly, which only added to the disgust on Rapunzel's face.

"What is the meaning of this?" Edward demanded.

"The meaning of this, Your Highness, is that I'm the daughter of the King and Queen of Corona and _she_ kidnapped me!" Rapunzel went on, never looking away from Gothel.

"That's preposterous!" Gothel yelled in outrage. "Why on Earth would I do anything as unconscionable as kidnap a child, let alone a princess?!"

"My hair!" Rapunzel yelled back.

The assembly fell into an awkward silence, as that was certainly not the answer they were expecting.

"Her _hair_! Ha!" Gothel tried to laugh off the declaration. "Who would ever say such a fanciful…"

"Flower gleam and glow, let your power shine, make the clock reverse, bring back what once was mine." Rapunzel defiantly sang the incantation and was met with gasps and confused muttering as a bright golden glow streamed through her hair. Gothel's agitation melted into terror at the secret being revealed.

"Your _hair_ is magical?" Edward asked in wonder.

"Yes, it can heal sickness and injuries…" She paused, looking the countess in the eye. "Or even reverse aging."

"But… how?" Queen Nancy asked.

"I can field that one." Eugene stepped up. "While I was _mostly_ dead, I heard that there used to be this magic golden flower that had the same healing power, but it was made into medicine to save the Queen of Corona's life when she was pregnant. Since she drank the magic, it was passed on to her daughter. Only one problem: someone else had been using that flower to keep herself young. So, when she came to get it back, she found a baby with the same powers and figured she'd take what she could get."

The implications hit the room at once and Gothel suddenly felt many eyes on her. "_Ridiculous!_ It's simply impossible!"

"Then why did _you_ tell me that last part when you tried to kill me, Countess?" Eugene asked casually. Gothel just glared back.

"Wait, if they knew she kidnapped their child, is that why the Coronans declared us enemies?" Edward gasped.

"I'd like to know that myself." Nancy chipped in, glaring at the countess.

"Actually, Corona _doesn't_ know who took the princess and they never _actually_ declared your nations enemies." Eugene supplied. "The countess forged that declaration and her agents have been interfering with the mail system for years, keeping both kingdoms from communicating with each other all this time so they wouldn't find her."

"You're telling me that two decades of inefficient mail was all part of an evil conspiracy?!" Edward asked incredulously. "That… actually makes a lot of sense. But then who sent those kidnappers that took her across the sea?"

"Oh, that was you too, wasn't it, Mother?" Rapunzel fumed, seeing sweat building on the countess' forehead. "You set up the kidnappings to frame Corona and scare me to into submission for your plan!"

"Frame Corona?" Gothel demanded. "Even if this _fairytale_ were true, why on Earth would an evil kidnapper try to stir up trouble like that?"

"Guilt, maybe?" Rapunzel asked. "Seeing the lanterns on my birthday every year, reminding you of what you did? Knowing that one day, I might actually get there and find out the truth?"

"Or maybe you're just a power hungry witch who finally had a way to take the throne." Walter sneered. "After all, if Corona was wiped out in a war, our kingdom would become even more powerful."

"Powerful enough to start a whole new empire." Queen Nancy went on, sending the countess a death glare that she only saved for when Edward really annoyed her.

"And with your precious 'flower' wearing the tiara and providing an endless fountain of youth while you run everything from the shadows, you'd be set up to rule forever." Rapunzel fists shook in rage.

"But that doesn't explain one thing, Countess." Walter glowered. "When exactly did you feed me a love potion?"

"Love potion?!" Edward cried, his voice echoed across the hall. He turned to the countess and demanded, "What love potion?"

"Rapunzel, stop this!" Gothel yelled in a desperate attempt to regain control. "Your fantasies are about to cause more trouble than you…"

"It was at that banquet, wasn't it, 'Mother'?" Rapunzel demanded. "When Walter and I were talking on the veranda, you suddenly showed up and gave him a drink. What was in it?"

"_Champagne_!" Gothel screamed furiously.

"Then why was it that when Rapunzel and I kissed, I suddenly couldn't remember why I married her?" Walter pressed.

"What?! That's preposterous! Your last dose of Essence of Cupid should have lasted until…" Gothel clapped a hand over her mouth in horror.

"So you admit it!" The king jumped to his feet.

The room stared accusingly at the countess. Finally countess sighed in resignation. The fear and panic melting from her face and was replaced by cold anger. "You want me to be the bad guy? _Fine_, now I'm the bad guy. It's not like it changes anything."

"Countess Gothel, you're under arrest for tampering with the mail, assault, kidnapping, attempted murder, and high treason!" King Edward unsheathed his sword and pointed it at the evil woman. "You are forthwith stripped of your lands and title and…"

A blast of red lightning suddenly hurled King Edward over the table. He tumbled across a plate of shrimp puffs and landed hard on the floor.

"Your Highness!" The guards converged on their fallen monarch as Gothel stood.

"Arrest her!" Walter commanded.

"Not today." Gothel smirked as she stood. The amulet around her neck glowed and another blast of red lightning flung aside the guards as they charged her. With a flick of her wrist, Gothel sent the table flying across the room, splintering against the wall.

Gothel smiled wickedly at the fallen king, his fearful wife and son, her adoptive "daughter" and her friends. The mask of the doting but overbearing mother had fallen away and was replaced by a woman who was stone down to her heart and soul.

"I wasn't the only one in this kingdom with secrets. And Queen Narrisa's secrets were just too tempting. All that black magic, and she never shared it with me, even after all the support I gave her. And yet, she's gone and I'm still here, ready to take everything she so desperately tried to hold onto." Gothel grinned maniacally as she stroked the glowing red gem around her neck.

"You're insane!" Rapunzel shook in anger and terror.

"No, Rapunzel, I'm a _survivor_! I've lived for centuries because I did what it took to stay alive! And you little mortals think you can judge me? I was here before there even _was_ an Andalasia and I'll be here long after all your bones turn to dust! This kingdom, this _world_ is _mine_ by right!"

"OK, she's lost it and I really don't see this being resolved rationally." Eugene gulped as the countess' mad ranting.

"I had hoped to take the throne more subtly. After all, I've been getting what I want for centuries without dirtying my hands. But, I suppose now that I have Narissa's magic, this is as good a time as any to try the direct approach. And since royalty and nobility from so many other kingdoms showed up for the wedding, I may as well get started on adding kingdoms to my new empire."

"You'll never take this kingdom or _any_ kingdom while I breathe!" King Edward cried, brushing the shrimp puffs off his regal robe.

"Well, I'll have to have Tyrone and Chris fix that then, won't I?" Gothel scoffed.

"Uh, if you're takin' about those two Stabbington jerks, they're kinda busy bein' dead." Hook Hand grinned.

"What-Oh whatever! I don't need them anyway. I have plenty of men." Gothel snapped her fingers and the hall doors burst open. Over a hundred soldiers wearing the red and black armor of the Gothel countship marched in and surrounded the assembly.

"I've been building up my own forces over the last few months." Gothel snickered. "I have more than enough to deal with all of you before any message for reinforcements can be sent. So, Your Highnesses, I think it would be best to offer a surrender now before this escalates to bloodshed."

"You're right." Rapunzel strode forward, her head bowed and her eyes closed in resignation. "This should end before anyone else gets hurt."

"_Rapunzel, what are you doing_?!" Eugene hissed as he grabbed her shoulder.

"The right thing, Eugene." She replied, not even turning around as she shrugged his hand away. "Prolonging this will only hurt more people, and it wouldn't even amount to anything in the end. So, Gothel… _Mother_… I accept your surrender."

Rapunzel's announcement was greeted by stone silence echoing around the hall.

"…What?" Gothel gawked in disbelief.

"Even with all your soldiers and all your magic, you still aren't going to win tonight." The princess declared as she stared her kidnapper down with a fire the older woman had never seen even in the girl's most rebellious moments. "Fighting us when it's obvious you can't win would be a big mistake. You'll only make it worse. If you surrender and come along quietly now, that would be best for you and everyone else. After all, doesn't 'Mother know best?'"

"…Ha… Hahaha! HAHAHAHAHA! Oh, that's _rich_!" Gothel laughed in near hysteria at Rapunzel's impudence. "And what have I to fear?"

"Well, let's do a headcount." Rapunzel smiled confidently. "We've got the best swordsman in the world."

Hook Hand grinned as he took his stance with his swords.

"An honest to goodness giant."

Vladimir set his unicorns out of the way before cracking his knuckles.

"A mime."

Ulf put up his fists and threw a few exaggerated punches.

"The king and queen of Andalasia who, I may add, are famous for hunting fifty foot trolls and being from another world."

King Edward and Queen Nancy strode forward, their swords pointed at Gothel.

"Their son, the prince whose military training has made him one of the toughest men in the kingdom."

Walter's moustache quirked at the compliment, but quickly returned his steel gaze at the traitorous countess.

"The single most dangerous horse and chameleon on the planet."

Maximus snorted and pawed at the ground, a sword held tight in his teeth. Pascal hissed and turned an angry red on Rapunzel's shoulder.

"The Dread Pirate Flynn Rider, who you failed to kill _twice_."

Eugene smiled, raising his own sword.

"And me, the Lost Princess of Corona who has magic hair and knows a hundred ways to use it." Rapunzel removed the pins holding the braid together, letting the river of blonde hair fall undone. She grabbed a lasso of her hair and her frying pan, ready for whatever her "mother" threw at her. "And _you_, 'Mother,' have managed to make every one of us very angry with you."

"I have an army and magic powers!" Gothel boasted.

"What a coincidence, so do I!" Rapunzel smirked as she shot a look at Eugene.

"You don't have near enough guards and all these blue blood guests and commoners have probably never even picked up a sword, let alone used one! But if you want to watch your friends die pointlessly, so be it!" Gothel roared. She reached back and a ball of flames erupted from her fingertips. She tossed the fireball at the assembled heroes, but a second flash of purple light flew in its path and snuffed it out. "Wha…"

"Are you ready, Gothy, you ol' bat." A skinny man swinging a cane waltzed up and tipped his top hat to the countess. "Didn't you know I always collect on my debts?"

"Facilier, you made it!" Eugene called.

"What? Like I was really gonna let _you_ _guys_ have all the fun?" The Shadow Man swung his cane, and a blast of wind blew Gothel into the far wall. "And the doctor scores!"

"Thanks for the assist!" Rapunzel smiled. She turned to Eugene. "Uh, who's he?"

"He's the one who brought me back to life." Eugene quickly supplied.

"Oh, remind me to thank him later if we get out of this." Rapunzel smiled.

"You picked the wrong side, Shadow Man!" The countess stood with a groan and glared at the witch doctor. The mad countess raised her hands and bolts of lightning erupted from her fingertips. The crackling energy surged along the walls, creating giant spiders as they went. The people screamed in horror as the monsters hissed in hunger and dropped from the ceiling to join Gothel's forces.

A dozen spiders leapt towards the Shadow Man. He blew a handful of magic dust at them, shrinking them to their normal size before crushing them under his heel. However, he missed the three that were lowering from the ceiling above him. He gasped as he looked up, only for a flash of bright golden light to reduce the spiders to ashes.

"Heh heh! Not bad for a 197 year ol' blind lady!" An old lady in white jumped on a table, spinning a magic glowing gourd.

Facilier moaned as he wiped the spider dust from his forehead. "Mama, I had this under control!"

"Maybe so, but this countess been a very naughty child, and it's time for Mama to teach her some manners!" The old lady grinned.

"I'll teach you some respect for your new queen!" Gothel snarled and sent a blast of red lightning at the old lady. Mama Odie countered it again and sent it back at her. Gothel gasped as the bolt of dark energy flew within a hair's breadth of her before striking the wall behind her. She turned to her men and her new spider minions and shouted, "ATTAAAACK!"

The countess' soldiers, along with her new hoard of monster spiders, charged the royal family and all hell broke loose. Rapunzel lassoed her hair around one of the closest soldiers and tossed him to the floor. Two more charged forward, trying to grab her arms, and got a face full of frying pan. Eugene crossed swords with the first wave of men, actually slicing a few swords and spears in half.

"You know what I love about you, Blondie?" Eugene yelled as he swung a sword at one of the invading soldiers.

"My perky disposition?" Rapunzel called back as she whipped her hair, sending three men flying into a wall.

"_That_, and things are never boring around you!" He replied. The soldier lunged forward, but was met with a frying pan to the head.

After dueling Hook Hand, these thugs were child's play even with superior numbers. Maximus grabbed the sword off the nearest man, swatted aside the soldiers' spears and charged their ranks. He proved the strength of a horse should never be underestimated as he took down fifteen men and a dozen spiders within three minutes.

"_Dang!_ Hey, Max, we get outta this, you and me are gonna have a fencing match." Hook Hand smirked as the horse parried a sword right out of a goon's hand and then kicked him into a refreshment table.

Vladimir was a one man wrecking ball, sending men and spiders flying with every strike. He caught the biggest soldier he could find by the ankle and swung him like a human fly swatter, splattering spiders as he went. Hook Hand swung both his swords through the crowd, using years' worth of precision training to avoid the people on his side. Every swing sent sparks flying, as spears and even swords were sliced in half. Ulf had his own ways of handling the enemy. As the soldiers cornered him, he went into his invisible box act, and when the soldiers went to attack, they found themselves trapped in a _real_ invisible box. Years of practice and experimenting in the art of mime had finally paid off.

Then the guests got involved and the fight really escalated. Now, in most cases, Gothel's assertion about the visiting royals and peasants would be correct. A large gathering of aristocrats and hometown commoners usually would not have had a prayer against a witch with great magic powers, an army of soldiers and giant spiders. However, in this particular case, there was one vital detail that eluded Gothel: King Edward and Queen Nancy's friends were not the usual high society. Despite having to interact with the local nobility, the vain, pompous, idle rich ninnies never appealed to the former troll hunter and interdimensional New Yorker. So they had sought out and befriended, to put it mildly, a very extraordinary collection of commoners and a more unorthodox branch of aristocracy. Their friends were the kind of people for whom high adventure, crazy magic and dealing with power mad villains was a weekly occurrence. Had Gothel known who most of the guests were, she might have conjured up a larger army. As things stood, when the villainous witch launched her attack, the thought that went through all the guests' minds was, "NOW the party's started!"

"We're better prepared than that witch gives us credit for, Your Highness!" Captain Phoebus grinned, punching out one of Gothel's men and crossing swords with another.

"Yes Captain, but get your wife and friends to a safe place!" The King ordered as he raised his sword.

"Oh, I think they've got things under control." The captain chuckled, pointing his sword out over the battle.

A young gypsy woman had grabbed a large candelabrum and was fending off three or four of Gothel's men.

"You boys look thirsty!" Esmerelda grinned as she slammed the soldier in the face.

"Here, have some punch!" Quasimodo grabbed the man and shoved him face first into the punchbowl.

"Punch? Oh my, _no_! Let him have some _tea_!" A goofy little man with a huge top hat jumped on the table and poured hot tea down the soldier's collar.

"AAARRGH!" The man yelled in pain and anger as the boiling liquid rolled down his back.

"Look at that!" The Hatter jumped back in shock. "Oh my, he's gone mad!"

"There's only one way to stop a mad man!" A March hare flew out of nowhere and slammed a large mallet into the soldier's face, knocking him to the floor. "Should have used mustard."

"MUSTARD?!" The Hatter demanded in outrage. "Don't let's be silly!"

A child princess from a far off candy kingdom seemed to vanish and reappear throughout the battle in a flash of blue light as several of Gothel's men chased her.

"Over here, warthog faces!" Princess Vanellope cried as she glitched across the room. "Can't you even catch a little girl, booger brains?!"

"You're going to pay for your insolence, you brat!" A burly soldier growled as he swung his spear at her. The spear snapped as it hit what the guard thought was a brick wall.

The soldiers gulped as they found themselves staring at a giant as big as Vladimir, with hands as large as a man's torso. "Hey, President Fartfeathers, these guys botherin' you?"

"Yep, they sure are, Ralph." Vanellope smirked as she appeared on her bodyguard's shoulder.

"Well then, hope you guys had a decent time, cause I'm gonna wreck it!" Ralph cracked his massive knuckles as the men sweated bullets. Their screams of pain rose above the din of battle.

"Is that the best you got?!" Walter roared, a swing of his sword chopping through a dozen enemy spears. "And you think you'll take over my home?"

"HELP!" The prince looked around to see Pip the chipmunk being chased by a hungry spider.

"Oh no, you don't!" with a running leap, the prince swept up the fleeing chipmunk and plunged his sword into the offending arachnid's abdomen.

"Oh man! Ya Highness, you're a lifesaver!" Pip wiped his brow as he scampered up to Walter's shoulder.

"Any time, Pip!" The prince nodded. "But we need reinforcements. Go get your friends and roll out the Black Knights!"

"You got it, Ya Highness!" The chipmunk saluted and skittered off into the chaos.

"Just like old times, eh, Philip?" King Edward yelled to his old friend in excitement as he fended off six of Gothel's men with his sword.

"Indeed it is, old friend!" King Philip swung his sword of truth, slicing a spider in half. "Though, Rose has me worried!"

"Afraid she'll get hurt?" Edward yelled over his shoulder as he clocked a goon over the head with the hilt of his sword.

"No, I'm afraid she won't leave any for me!" Philip laughed.

"Come back here, I'm not through with you yet!" Queen Aurora, or Briar Rose as her friends called her, stood a few yards away smashing Gothel's men with a chair.

"I love that woman." Philip smiled dreamily before returning to the battle.

The Greek dignitary named Hercules lifted the largest table over his head and tossed it at the first wave of Gothel's soldiers, knocking half of them out. The other half were given a surprise attack when a French prince changed into a ferocious beast and went to town on them. The soldiers foolhardy enough to try sneak attacking the Greek god and the French beast were met with the swords of their wives, Meg and Belle. The two women grabbed one soldier and together slammed him through a table. However, said table displayed the ice sculpture, which went flying through the air and smashing a guard over the head as he tried valiantly to fend off a rain of blows from Queen Cinderella.

"Merida, get down!" Queen Eleanor shouted as she punched out two of Gothel's goons.

"Sorry, Mum, bit busy here!" The princess of Scotland yelled back as she swung a sword at the goons trying to climb over the table.

"Leave these sissies to me, lass!" Her father roared as he lunged over the table and into the crowd of soldiers. The Bear King cut a swath through the crowd as the ladies dealt with their own.

"Merida, have you seen the boys?" The queen yelled and she slammed a man into the wall.

"Can't say I have!" Merida called as she pulled out her bow and shot a few spiders.

Somewhere in the battle, one of Gothel's men screamed, "HELP! FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING HOLY, GET THEM OFF OF ME!"

"Oh, _there_ they are!" Merida cheerfully added before shooting a spider that had been sneaking up on her mother.

"You handle a bow rather well!" Merida turned at the voice and found Sir Robin Hood. The fox of Sherwood Forest fired and arrow of his own, slicing through the webs of three spiders and finally hitting a tapestry which fell on top of the fallen arachnids and trapped them.

"You're not too bad yourself… for an Englishman." Merida smirked brazenly.

"Oh, I like you, Your Highness!" The legendary thief smiled.

"Definitely Clucky's people!" Maid Marian laughed as she tossed a plate of canapés into a soldier's face.

"Where's the ol' gal got to anyway?" Little John asked as he thrashed a couple soldiers with his staff. "Figured she'd be right at home with a brawl like this!"

"YEEEEEEEEHEEE!" A loud cry rang over the battle as a husky Scottish chicken rushed Gothel's men, sending them flying with a chop and a kick without ever slowing down.

"Haha, there she is!" Little John laughed.

"A bonny Scottish lass if ever I saw one!" King Fergus laughed as the lady in waiting carved her way through the fight.

Rapunzel lassoed a spider with her hair and swung it as a flail. Sixteen soldiers and five spiders were sent flying before she finally threw the arachnid through the nearby window. "We need to move this fight outside! They have us boxed in here!"

"You're right!" Eugene yelled over the din of battle. "VLAD! Can you get us a way out of here?"

"Don't have to tell me twice!" Vladimir charged through the crowd and smashed through the doors.

The battle spilled out into the hallway, where the rest of the palace guards were also engaged with Gothel's troops.

"You aren't getting away from me!" Gothel shouted as the fighting spread out the doors.

Gothel roared in rage and continued the magicians' duel as the battle waged. The black magic Gothel wielded was designed to harm and destroy. Mama Odie's light magic couldn't harm people, but it could deflect and counter dark magic. The old lady's strategy was simple: keep the evil witch busy so she couldn't use her power to turn the tide of the battle. Dr. Facilier's magic as well as his strategy was slightly different than either woman's. He had only one thing in mind and it wasn't conquest or damage control; it was payback.

The battle raged across the castle. Gothel's men already outnumbered the castle denizens and guards by three to one, and the spiders just tipped the scale even further. Yet, what the Andalasians lacked in number, they made up for in prowess and determination. Add to that the x-factor of the guests, the battle was more even than anyone could have predicted.

"Gotta give Mother credit, she really went all out for this!" Rapunzel slammed her frying pan into the nose of a soldier, knocking him over a table

"Yeah! Though, I think got half these guards at a discount!" Eugene yelled back. He punched out a soldier and suddenly backed into someone. He turned, raising his sword but stopped short when he saw the man wasn't wearing the same uniform as Gothel's men. "Whoa! Sorry buddy!"

"So sorry my…" The other man hesitated and turned to face him. "Eugene?!"

"_Naveen?!_ The heck are you doing here?!" Eugene gawked.

"My wife and I were invited to tonight's festivities!" The prince shrugged before punching out a soldier.

"Wife?" Eugene laughed, blocking a soldier's sword with his own. "Don't tell me _you_ settled down!"

Before Naveen could answer, a spider leapt at him from behind. He didn't see it coming until it was already too late to raise his sword and the odds of dodging were nonexistent. The spider shrieked in bloodlust, fangs glistening with venom, ready to tear into the Maldonian prince.., and then the spider split in half and fell to either side of Naveen. He flinched as he was splattered remains hit him in the face.

"Ugh!" Naveen groaned as he wiped the spider guts out of his face.

"Careful, Naveen," The prince looked up to see his wife, Tiana, with her sword slung over her shoulder. "Gotta pay better attention."

"Yes, dear." Naveen suavely smiled back at her.

"Wow, you really are whipped." Eugene smirked. No sooner had he said that than a length of blonde hair whipped around his torso and yanked him out of the way of a stray arrow.

"I know I have healing hair and all that, but don't think you can slack off and get killed on me again, Mr. 'Dread Pirate Flynn Rider'!" Rapunzel growled as she untangled her hair from Eugene.

"It seems I am not the only one who is 'whipped,' yes?" Naveen chuckled as he saw Rapunzel. "_Ashidanza_! Is that her, Eugene, the one you talked about? I see why you like her so much!" Naveen laughed as he kicked a guard in the head.

"Hey guys!" Tiana yelled as she swung her sword, cutting a man's battleaxes in half. "How about you two wait to catch up when we aren't fighting for our lives?"

"But of course, my Evangeline!" Naveen gave an impeccable smile, raising his sword. "I shall slaughter the invading hordes in your honor!"

"No way, pal! The 'invading hordes' are working for my girl's evil mom/kidnapper, so _I'll_ be slaughtering them in _her_ name! Besides, I got a head start!" Eugene took off into the crowd sword drawn, Naveen trailing behind him.

Rapunzel and Tiana shared a brief annoyed glance. "Men."

Queen Nancy slashed through a spider as she and her personal guards fought out the doors of the main hall.

"Hey, Giselle!" Nancy called over the din.

"Oh, hello, Nancy!" Giselle called back as she kicked a soldier into a table.

"Enjoying the party?" The queen asked as another soldier charged her.

"Oh, it was nice up until the evil witch tried to kill everybody!" Giselle replied as her opponent stood and crossed swords with her again. "Can't we ever have a party where that doesn't happen?"

"Sorry, honey, but I think we're jinxed!" She sidestepped the soldier and shoved him straight into the one Giselle fought. The two minions crumbled to the ground in a clatter of armor.

A third soldier prepared to engage the queen and her friend, but stopped short at the sight of his unconscious comrades. He took a step back as the two women raised their swords.

"Where do you think you're going?" Giselle grinned.

"You're not getting away that easy!" Nancy roared as she and Giselle charged the fleeing guard.

On the third floor, Flora the seamstress and her two sisters had taken refuge in the fitting room. The soldiers pounded on the door, looking for prisoners or other guards to engage in battle.

"Ladies," Flora gave a determined glare to her sisters. "I think it's time to come out of retirement!"

Two soldiers kicked at the door, making it splinter. "OPEN UP OR WE'LL BREAK THE DOOR DOWN!"

They pulled back for another kick, when the door flew off his hinges and slammed the two of them to the floor. The downed men squinted through the clouded vision to see that three fairies stood before them, magic wands in hand.

"Next time, say 'please'." Flora glared at the men groaning in pain under the door. She whipped her wand; the door reattached itself and a rope appeared around the soldiers.

A group of spiders crawled up the walls towards the three fairies, but Fauna simply waved her wand at them, shrinking them to less than an inch high.

"Shame on you!" Fauna glared down at them with her hands on her hips. "Now shoo!"

The spiders cringed in the face of the irate fairy and quickly scurried off through a crack in the wall.

"Now, we better hurry!" Flora twirled her wand and flew off, her sisters trailing after her.

The majority of the children were taken to the west wing and the door barricaded from the inside. A squad of Gothel's men had already started to break through the door, knowing that the children would be the most valuable hostages. They finally smashed through the door, expecting terrified bunch of children huddled under furniture. Instead, the children had fortified half of the room with the tables, sofas and other furniture, built a makeshift catapult and were ready with a counter assault.

"Load the catapult!" A pirate boy named Jake yelled as the soldiers gawked in confusion.

"How the heck did a bunch of _kids_ make a catapult?!" The commander shrieked.

"We brought along our toolbox." Explained a boy named Phineas as he high fived his brother. "Right, Ferb?"

"Catapult loaded!" Yelled Pinocchio.

"Fire at will!" Ordered Princess Sofia.

The soldiers were met by a volley of vases, books, and rocks. While they were reeling from that, one of the boys leapt over the barricade and flew over their heads. He cut through their spears with his dagger and taunted them at their inability to hit him.

"Come on, I know a guy with one hand who fights better than you!" Peter Pan crowed as he flew over the din as the guards continually tried and failed to hit him with arrows and the odd thrown weapon.

"Kill him!" The commanding officer ordered. "Take the rest of the brats rest prisoner!"

"Pardon." The soldier turned to meet a young woman in a red dress and a flowery hat. "What do you think you're doing?"

"Surrender or prepare to die!" The soldier demanded as he pointed his sword at her.

"I shan't be doing either of those things." The woman parried the sword with her umbrella.

The soldier swung again, but the woman jumped into the air and sailed over him.

"What?!" The commander gawked as she landed behind him and pointed her umbrella at him.

"En garde!"

"What are you?!" The commander swung his sword, but was blocked.

"I am the Queen of Genovia, I am a Time Lady of the planet Gallifrey, I am the greatest nanny in history and…" With a flick of her wrist, the sword flew out of the soldier's hand and buried itself to the hilt in the wall. "I am practically perfect in every way."

Without another word, she opened her umbrella and flew across the room. The soldiers and children watched in amazement as she landed on her feet near the fireplace.

"However, I think perhaps this situation calls for reinforcements." She tapped the fireplace with her umbrella and shouted up the chimney "Bert! Be a dear and help me thrash these miscreants!"

"On me way, Mary Poppins!" Came a voice from the chimney. "Let's get 'em, boys!"

A cloud of soot burst from the fireplace, followed by a charging mob of chimney sweeps. "It's a battle, step in time, it's a battle, step in time! Never need a reason, never need a rhyme! It's a battle, step in time!"

"Whoa." Peter smiled. "You know, I don't say this about too many grownups, but you're amazing!"

"Thank you, dear." Mary tipped her hat, before nonchalantly punching a soldier in the nose.

In the Great Hall, Gothel, Dr. Facilier, and Mama Odie were left alone as their magic duel raged. Blasts of magic energy flashed across the vast room, usually being deflected into the walls or crashing through the windows. Her forces outnumbered them three to one and her amulet's power was clearly superior to the Shadow Man and his mother's power, yet her side was losing. Gothel was close to snapping.

"Gettin' tired, Gothel?" The Shadow Man grinned. "Man, age must be catchin' up to ya!"

That did it. Gothel had lived for centuries and prided herself on her superior intelligence, her superior looks, and her superior skills in using the former to preserve the latter. Now as she stood on the cusp of her ultimate victory over the world, feeling it slipping away despite her best efforts, being reduced to crude force, and being called _old_ on top of it had pushed her too far.

"ENOUGH!" A supernova of dark energy erupted from her. Dr. Facilier and Mama Odie were slammed against the wall, knocking them unconscious. "Seize them!"

Two spiders crawled over to the downed voodoo practitioners and wrapped them in their webs. The countess grinned madly as she turned to the door. With a wave of her hand, more spiders appeared and skittered off to the battle.

"Your Grace!" One of her men ran up, trying in vain to catch his breath. "They're getting the upper hand!"

"Then it's time for a second wave! Call in the men I have stationed in the forest to join the fight!" She grabbed the soldier and teleported him away.

Outside in the courtyard, the battle was slowly but surely leaning in favor of the Andalasians and their allies.

"Give it up, princey! It's over!" One of Gothel's lieutenants growled as he crossed swords with Prince Walter.

"It's not over until I give you permission to beg for your life!" Walter roared, head-butting the offending soldier in the face.

He turned and noticed one of the more brutish soldiers sneaking up on Queen Snow White with an axe.

"Not today!" Walter raged.

He dashed past a soldier being chased by a short green Cyclops and a big blue cat creature, never taking his eyes off the soldier as he raised his axe. He jumped over a bush and ran across the heads and shoulders of other soldiers without breaking a stride. A spider swung towards him on its web; he sliced it clean down the middle without a second thought. He landed hard on his feet just as the axe came down.

"HOW DARE YOU?!"

Walter froze in shock at the outraged feminine voice. He stared as Snow White glared at the offending soldier with one hand on her hip and the other… holding the axe after catching it mid swing.

"I…uh…" The soldier was at a loss.

"WHY YOU INCONSIDERATE BULLY!" Snow White roared. "Now I'm going to have to teach you a lesson!"

"Uh… WHOA!" The soldier yelped as Snow White slammed her fist into his gut.

As he doubled over in pain, Snow White yanked him off his feet and drove him face first into the dirt. She stomped on his kidney's three times before lifting him over his head, and tossing him into the air, where he went crashing through a fifth story window.

"No you think about what you did!" Snow White bellowed up to the window. She turned around, and everyone in the vicinity turned and ran at the stern look on her face.

"Are… uh… are you alright, Snow White?" Walter awkwardly inquired.

"Oh thank you for asking, deary." Snow White smiled cheerfully. "But I need to find my husband and see if I can teach these hoodlums some manners. Goodbye."

"Uh… have fun?" Walter shrugged as she ran off into the battle, where everyone gave her a wide berth.

"AAAAH!" Walter was snapped out of his stupor by a soldier screaming as he was chased by an old duck in a top hat and his three nephews.

"Keep the left flank covered!" Walter yelled over the din, turning his attention hback to the rest of the battle. "Don't give them time to regroup!"

"Most of the spiders are gone!" Rapunzel yelled as she slammed her frying pan into a guard's face.

"Is this really all that Gothel can do? I'm kinda disappointed!" Eugene laughed as he blocked an axe with his sword.

**BOOM!**

Everyone in the courtyard ducked as the windows of the Great Hall blew out. Gothel floated out of a shattered window surrounded by the red aura emanating from her amulet, followed by a larger swarm of spiders crawling out of the windows.

"You've fought bravely, but now it's time to surrender!" Gothel bellowed, sending out a flash of red lightning, and toppling statues across the court yard.

"Go ahead and wave the white flag then, Countess!" King Edward charged her.

"Stop that lummox." Gothel dismissively waved to her spiders.

The arachnids surrounded the king and cocooned him in their webs.

"Pawns take king!" Gothel grinned. "Oh, and it sounds like more are on the way!"

A war cry erupted outside the castle. The gates burst open and another wave of Gothel's troops charged into battle.

"You've all lost!" The countess smiled condescendingly at the princess, even though she obviously couldn't hear her. "Accept it and save the few lives you can, or I'll have my men kill everyone here and-"

"Hold it!"

"What?" Gothel balked as her hands were suddenly covered with… oven mitts.

"Oh, lady, you can NOT go out with your nails like that!" A blue genie popped up to her left. "Just keep those magic proof mitts on while I deal with your pest problem!"

"Thanks, Genie!" Cried Aladdin and Jasmine as they flew by on a carpet and knocked down a few dozen soldiers.

"You insolent, clown!" Gothel ripped the mitts off and blasted the Genie.

"Whoo! Lady, you're gonna have to do better than that!" Genie smiled as he flew around and drew the countess' fire.

"Corporal, get everyone out of the webs!" Walter shouted over the din.

"Ay, Your Majesty!" The guard saluted and began cutting the king loose.

"We can't win this without more manpower!" Walter groaned as he knocked out another soldier.

"Oh, maybe I should call our friends from the forest! Maybe they could help!" Giselle called as she ducked a sword and kicked the offending guard in a very painful place.

"If you're looking to call in animals," an English lady called, snapping her umbrella over a man's nose. "My husband could be most helpful!"

"Oh, who's your husband?" Giselle asked.

"That would be him right there." She pointed at a man in a loincloth swinging past, kicking soldiers as he went. "TARZAN, WE NEED YOU!"

"Jane!" The ape man landed in front of them.

"Tarzan, get Giselle to the outer walls! She can call for help from the animals!" Jane ordered.

"Right away!" He nodded.

"But how's he going to get us THEEEERE…" Giselle was cut off as Tarzan hoisted her over his shoulder and swung into the air.

"Men, take aim at the swinging jungle man!" ordered one of the soldiers. "... There's something I didn't think I'd say this morning.

Gothel's archers took aim at Tarzan and Giselle as they swung towards the gates. They were ready to shoot when the castle doors burst open to reveal Big Nose and Attila.

"OH, NO YOU DON'T!" Big Nose roared.

The archer's blanched as a barrage of frying pans flew into their heads with a chorus of resounding clangs.

The people cheered as Big Nose and Attila charged into the courtyard, leading a dense crowd of the roughest, most thuggish pirates in the land.

"We're late to the party, mates!" Attila shouted as he raised his frying pan. "Let's make up for lost time!"

"YO HO!" Cheered the pirates as they charged into the battle.

The ensuing chaos in the battle allowed Tarzan and Giselle to get to the outer wall. The ape man landed on the walkway and put Giselle on her feet.

"All right, now I just need to call my friends." Giselle leaned to the edge of the wall and sang out. "Ahhhh, ahhhh, Ahhhhhhhhhhh!"

Unfortunately, the deafening clamor of thebattle drowned out her voice.

"Oh no! They'll never hear me! We'll have to get further into the woods." Giselle said in distress.

"Actually, I think I know an easier way." Tarzan said, jumping up onto the parapet.

"What are you doing?"

"_AAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!_" Yelled Tarzan at the top of his lungs.

The holler echoed across the forest, shaking the treetops. There was a second of silence, and the rumbling started. The ground shook and the air filled with the cries of animals. The front gate burst open as what seemed to be the entire animal kingdom stampeded into the castle.

"Well, I guess that's one way to do it." Giselle meekly shrugged.

Tarzan nodded before leaping over the battlement. He landed on top of a large elephant next to a female gorilla.

"And here you thought we'd be outta place at this party!" Terk yelled as Tantor trampled spiders and sent soldiers flying with a swing of his trunk and tusks.

"Let's get 'em, mates!" Roared a lion wearing a crown with enough force to blow dozens of men off their feet. "Just like we do on the field! CHAAAAAARGE!"

The national soccer teams of the Isle of Naboombu charged after their king into battle. They ran over the soldiers like they weren't even there, and if the goons had the misfortune of catching the soccer ball, they would end up stomped into the dirt.

"Now if only you were that handy with a soccer ball." A boy named Hiro chided his robot as they and their four friends took out a troop of Gothel's men.

The Chinese ambassadors and their bodyguards fought up the stairs of the West Tower.

"Come on, guys!" Mulan called to her men.

"We're trying, dear!" General Li Shang yelled back, trying to fend off the advancing mob. "Just having some issues with the locals!"

"We'll hold them off! You guys finish your plan!" Yao shouted, as he, Ling and Chien-Po knocked soldiers down the stairs.

They burst through the door at the top of the tower.

"Barricade the door." Mulan panted as she and Shang pulled a barrel over the trapdoor.

"We made it." Shange wheezed as he tried to catch his breath. "And it looks like we hit the jackpot!"

"What you got cookin', Mulan?" Mushu asked as he and Crickee looked around.

"Artillery." Mulan grinned.

They had made it to the tower where the fireworks display would be set off. There were dozens of rockets set to go off for the wedding. Since the wedding was off, they'd get a lot more use in battle.

"Oh, I am ready for this, baby!" Mushu howled eagerly.

"I see our first target." Shang pointed to a family in red outfits being surrounded by soldiers.

"Target acquired! Take aim!" Mulan aimed three rockets into the crowd. "Fire!"

"I gotcha, sugar!" Musha blew fire on the fuses.

The rockets screeched through the air and exploded in green and pink flames among Gothel's men. The blast allowed the Incredible family to regroup and outflank the guards.

"Direct hit!" Mulan pumped her fist.

They set off more fireworks into the battle, shrouding the castle in smoke and bright colored explosions.

High above the castle, a hawk flew by, an angry rabbit tucked in its talons.

"Put me down you stupid bird!" Bunny Yzma flailed and pounded against the hawk's claws. "When I turn back into myself you're going to be extra crispy!"

Her threat was actually followed through when an errant rocket zoomed right into the hawk. The blast sent the hawk reeling, dropping the sorceress-turned-rabbit over the castle.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Yzma screamed as she tumbled down into the heat of battle.

She landed hard, but when she got her wits about her, she realized on something fuzzy. She blanched on realizing she was sitting on a gigantic spider. She jumped off its back, only to get its attention. The spider prepared to lunge forward, but was suddenly knocked on its back. Yzma gawked in stunned relief as a fox and a hound jumped over her and bit at the spider's legs. She turned to run, but was nearly trampled by two moose, a bear and its cub. She ducked past a dog with a bandana and an orange kitten to avoid being dive-bombed by an albatross with mice riding on its back, only to be met with a volley of peanuts shot by a very familiar flying elephant. She thought she was safe until she noticed the large alligator swinging a trumpet into a man's face.

"NO, NO, NO!" Yzma screamed as she jumped onto a soldier's head.

"Hey, get off you stupid rodent." The man swung his sword trying to rip her away from his helmet.

"AH!" A sudden shriek halted his flailing.

Yzma and the soldier turned to see a decapitated woman's body. They gaped in shock that it was still standing.

"You…" Yzma gasped.

"Thanks a lot." A woman's voice called to them from the ground. They stared in horror as the severed head of the woman glared at them. "It's not easy sewing your own head back on, you know! You're going to get it when my boyfriend sees this!"

"B-b-b-boyfriend?" The guard stuttered.

"Um, pardon me." A charming voice interrupted the man's fearful mumble. He turned to see a seven foot tall skeleton in a pinstripe suit. "Hello there."

"Uh… hi." The man squeaked.

"Having a good day?" Yzma whimpered.

"I would be, but then you picked on my best girl. And as the Pumpkin King, I can't have that, so… RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Jack Skellington pulled a horrifying face and gave an unholy shriek.

The soldier sprinted away in terror, with Yzma still holding onto his helmet for dear life. The soldier ran into something and she was knocked off his helmet. She bounced off of something and landed hard on the grass.

"This day couldn't get worse!" Yzma grumbled, spitting out a few blades of grass.

"Wait… Yzma?!"

"Oh…" Her eyes widened. "You've got to be kidding me!"

"Well, well, lookie here!" Emperor Kuzko smiled evilly. "It's Miss 'I'm gonna turn the emperor into a llama!' Fancy seein' you here in a fight! Well, guess I better get into the spirit of things!"

"I hate my life." Yzma moaned.

A young buck charged a soldier, but the man just grinned and raised his sword. He swung, only for the deer to leap to the side, revealing a rabbit and a skunk on his back. The soldier screamed as he got a face full of the skunk's stink.

"Nice one, Flower." Thumper said, slapping the skunk on the back.

"Don't congratulate each other yet! We got lots more to do!" Bambi grinned as they charged through the battle.

Queen Ariel and rushed through the battle, dodging swinging axes and swords.

"Wait a minute." Ariel stopped as they crossed a bridge over a reflecting pond. "Oh, this'll be good!"

"Halt and surrender or-What are you doing?" A soldier gasped as she jumped off the bridge into the pool.

"Uh… should we go after her?" Asked a second soldier.

"No need!" Came a voice behind them.

"Wha-OOF!" The men were knocked over the side of the bridge by a high speed punch from a mermaid.

As the soldiers splashed into the pond, Ariel swam beneath the bridge for another pass. She leapt from the water over and over, taking down Gothel's men each time. Her mermaid swim speed made her shoot from the water fast as a missile.

A squad of soldiers and spiders attempted to surround the Queen and Princess of Arendelle, but were met with walls of ice and blasts of snowy wind.

"Can't we go to one party without an incident?" Anna joked as she punched out her third soldier.

"Well, at least hanging out with you two keeps it interesting!" Kristoff grinned, swinging an ice pick into a spider. "Havin' fun, Sven?"

The reindeer in question was too busy bucking soldiers into walls to hear his friend's question.

"Elsa, do you wanna build a snowman?" Anna asked with a knowing grin.

"Actually, that sounds fun." Elsa smiled back. With a wave of her hands, a massive pile of snow rose up from the ground and formed into a huge lumbering creature A much smaller snowman ran forwards with a toy sword in hand. "Say hello to Olaf and Marshmallow."

"Let's get 'em, little brother!" yelled the smaller snowman and the giant snow creature roared. The snowmen and the royal sisters chased after the now panicked soldiers out the front gate, spilling the fight into the courtyard.

A horde of spiders skittered along the hall, ready to join the battle, only to see a bearded old wizard with a blue pointed hat standing in the doorway between them and the battle.

"You shall not pass!" The old man declared, raising his walking stick.

The spiders chittered in their version of mocking laughter and charged the wizard. The old magician tossed an old carpet bag on the floor and raised his wand.

"Hockety pockety wockety wack! Abracabra dabra nack! Shrink in size very small, we've got to save enough room for all!" Merlin incanted, as he waved his magic wand. The spiders flew off the walls and floor and into the air, shrinking as they flew and were sucked down into the wizard's suitcase. "Higitus Figitus migitus mum! Pres-ti-dig-i-ton-i-um!"

Two of Gothel's goons went flying as a young man swung a most unusual sword into them. Even as another wave came at him, they found themselves no match for the boy with the giant key-sword.

"Can't we go anywhere without finding trouble from somebody whose heart is filled with darkness?" Sora called as he swung his Key-blade into a spider, disintegrating it.

"Sorry, Sora!" Cried King Mickey as he leaped across the soldiers' heads, his own keyblade swinging through the crowd. "Even after my trip to that crazy swamp, I had a feeling there was still some problems to take care of in this world."

"Garsh!" Goofy yelled as he slammed his shield into a soldier's face. "Where's Donald?"

"THE THREE CABALLEROS RIDE AGAIN!" The three fighters turned at the battle cry and the duck in question and two of his other comrades sending Gothel's men running.

"LEMME AT 'EM! LEMME AT 'EM!" Squawked Donald as he plowed through the crowd, striking anything that moved.

"Donaldo seems em casa in this fight, huh?" A parrot named José Carioca observed as he knocked a spider into the wall with his umbrella.

"¡Por supuesto! An army and a swarm of giant arañas against three caballeros? We have them _grossly_ outnumbered! AHAAAAAAA!" Cheered Panchito as he fired a few shots at the spiders, sending them scurrying away in terror.

Soldiers dived out of the way as a horse drawn wagon driven by a toad careened wildly through the battle.

"Tally-ho! Let's show these chaps what for, Cyril!" Toad cheered.

"Took the words right outta me mouth, Guv'na!" The horse cheered as he plowed through the melee.

Hookhand swung his swords as more and more men surrounded him. Even outnumbered ten to one, his swordsmanship made it almost an even match.

"Come on, you sissies!" Hookhand growled. "Is that all ya got?"

The thud of a club against his skull was his answer. He fell to the ground, the soldiers dogpiling him. He struggled, but there were too many of them. He thought his time to join his parents had finally come, when suddenly…

"AVAST YA, BLINKIN' CHEATS!"

The whole mob was thrown off of Hook Hand in a wire of machinery. He stood up to see… what seemed to be a man with half his body replaced by metal.

"Thanks!" Hook Hand grinned.

"No problem, mate." Silver tipped his hat, before switching his mechanical arm into a sword. "Now let's show these pups how to use a blade!"

Vladimir crouched down, ready to charge into a line of advancing soldiers, all waving swords, axes, spears and assorted weapons. He took a step forward, only to suddenly see the mob intercepted by an entire pride of lions. He frowned in disappointment, but then noticed a dozen spiders heading his way. He cracked his knuckles in excitement, but a bolt of blue energy exploded before him, vaporizing the giant arachnids. The giant looked up and saw the Atlantian Royals fly past on their stone fish attack vehicles. He growled in irritation at another opponent stolen. A loud yell caught his attention and he saw a very tall, muscular man charging him with an axe. Gothel must have put an ad for a giant herself, because he was almost as tall as Vlad himself and the blade on his axe was three feet wide, Vladimir grinned savagely; finally, a worthy opponent! He raised his fists as the hulking goon charged. The monster of a man raised his axe, screaming with bloodthirsty rage… and then a small blur hit him and sent him flying twenty feet off to his left. Vlad watched in awe as the massive soldier was tossed through the air and crashed into the side of the castle, leaving a large hole in the stone wall. Vladimir looked in shock at the horrifying, invincible creature that had taken down a man that would have given him the fight of his life.

"Stupid head." The creature grinned.

"Uh, that was great and everything, little buddy…" Vladimir glared down at the tiny blue, six legged dog. "But you stole my shot! _I_ wanted to fight that guy!"

"Sorry." Stitch's ears pulled back against his head. "Wanna find more?"

Vladimir shrugged. "Okay. First to knock out twenty guys wins!"

"Big buggies worth double points!" Stitch cheered as they raced back into the fray.

Maximus had rounded up the fleeing horses and led them in a charge across the courtyard. Maximus neighed orders as they charged. 'Samson, Major, Philippe, take the right! Khan, Captain, Buck, take the left! Achilles, Angus, follow me up the middle! ATTACK!'

The second floor corridor was stuffed with Andalasian guards fighting Gothel's soldiers and spiders. It was a stalemate fight, until a bombardment of honey pots fell from the high windows, smashing over the invaders' heads and sticking the spiders where they stood. When a second wave of the countess' men arrived, a new weapon entered the fray. An orange and black stripped blur suddenly zoomed through the corridor, knocking out men as it literally bounced off the walls.

There were several piles of unconscious soldiers littered around a rather large queen in a red and black dress who swung a green flamingo at her attackers. She had taken down at least three dozen of them in five minutes, all while delivering a furious war cry of "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOFF WITH THEIR HEEEAAADS!"

And here come Bertino and Ferguson out of the penalty box… and there go Bertino and Ferguson back into the penalty box.

And somewhere in all this, Monstro the whale jumped into the fight for some reason then disappeared and nobody noticed.

Pascal crawled franticly through the battle, trying desperately not to get stepped on. He weaved through the forest of giant legs, barely avoiding the stomping feet and falling debris. He hoped to find Rapunzel, Maximus, or even Eugene to get some relative safety. He was too scared to notice he had run face first into something. He fell back, dazed by the impact, but shrieked as he saw he's run into a leg of a spider. The monster arachnid turned and clicked its fangs and glared at the chameleon in hunger and sadistic excitement.

The spider lunged at Pascal, making him wince, bracing for the pain and praying for help. He turned white in shock as a mace came down on the spider and a loud metallic footfall thundered next to him. The terrified lizard looked up and saw a knight in black armor wearing the Andalasian flag on its chest.

"Whoa, Pascal! Didn't even see ya there!" The knight said in an unexpectedly squeaky voice.

"Huh?" Pascal squeaked in confusion.

"Oh, right, the suit… it's me, Pip!" The knight leaned down to him. "Here, lemme help ya up."

The knight picked up the confused lizard and brought him up to face level. The helmet visor opened, and sure enough, there sat the Pip waving for him to come inside. Pascal jumped into the helmet, the visor closing after him.

"Pretty neat, huh?" Pip smirked. "This was a little idea from Walter! Totally mechanical body that I can control from in here. Gives us smaller guys a way to help out and not get stepped on. Watch this!"

The chameleon watched as Pip fiddled with a system of levers and switches built into the helmet, causing the suit of armor to swing its mace and knock a guy out.

"Man, I wish I had this baby when I went to New York!" Pip laughed.

Pascal couldn't help grinning too.

"My pals, Chip and Dale, woulda had one of these too, but they went with their other idea." Pip pointed out over the battle. "See?"

A bottle held up by a balloon flew over the battle, manned by two chipmunks, two mice and a fly. They shot a suction cup into a guard's face, leaving him open to a few well-placed karate chops of a blue platypus in a fedora and duck in a purple suit and cape.

"Now, let's show these guys what we're made of!" Pip grinned.

Pascal grabbed his paw and squeaked.

"What?" The chipmunk raised an eyebrow. "Throw you at Gothel? Are you nuts?!"

Pascal squeaked frantically as he pointed to the countess as she fired more dark magic at the mocking genie. The amulet around her neck glowed each time she used her power.

"_Oh_, get that little knick-knack and she loses her powers!" Pip nodded understanding. "But you think you can get it before she catches you?"

Pascal answered with a smug smirk.

"Well, all right, but if somethin' goes wrong, don't tell Punzie I helped ya." Pip shrugged.

The helmet opened and Pascal jumped into the armored hand. Pip pulled the arm back and threw the chameleon with all the force he could get out of the machine.

Pascal sailed over the battle, his paw outstretched as he flew towards Gothel. He grinned victoriously as he approached the gleaming stone around her neck. With his momentum, he was sure he could knock the amulet loose on imapact. Nothing could stop him.

Then, Gothel caught him in midair and stopped him.

"Well, if it isn't the worthless little lizard that my flower's been keeping." Gothel snickered.

Gothel shot up into the sky, leaving the stunned genie behind. She stopped several hundred feet above the castle, looking down on them all. Pascal gulped in dread, figuring the evil old bat would drop him to his death

"I could squeeze the life out of you right now," Gothel sneered. Pascal blanched as he felt her grip tighten. "But I have a much better idea. I think… you are going to be a great help to me."

Pascal's eyes widened as the old witch closed her eyes and raised her hand over him. The amulet around her neck glowed red and magic coursed through it. The chameleon squealed as the red lightning leapt from Gothel's fingers and into him, filling him with its dark power.

An ear splitting noise thundered over the battle. For a second, most thought it was a crack of thunder, but when it rang out a second time, everyone recognized it as a roar. A large winged shape flew across the moon, making everyone realize that it was not just any creature's roar.

"DRAGON!"

With an unearthly screech, the crowd watched a huge green Night Fury swooped down with Gothel riding on its back. The dragon landed amidst the battle, making people on both sides scatter.

Rapunzel froze in horror at the sight of the dragon. He was larger, he had wings, and he had a set of large teeth, but she still recognized her oldest friend. "Pascal?!"

The dragon that used to be her chameleon, growled, snarled and pawed at the ground in rage as Gothel cackled "Now you see the true power I possess! Nothing on Earth can stop me! And now, I'm going to burn you all to ashes! UP, BOY!"

Pascal the dragon leapt into the air. Gothel laughed maniacally as it flew higher and higher and finally turned straight down. The dragon zoomed straight at the castle, teeth bared and growling.

"Archers!" Prince Walter shouted. "Take the monster down!"

"NO!" Rapunzel cried. "That's not a monster! That's _Pascal_!"

The dragon sped towards the castle at ever increasing speed. Gothel just laughed as she imagined the fire she would rain down on them all.

"NOW, DRAGON! FIRE! FI-AAAH!" Gothel's mad command was cut off as the dragon abruptly began spinning.

The archers paused as the dragon turned from his sudden barrel roll into a series of loops.

"What's the witch doing?" Walter asked as the dragon spin upside-down for several yards, all while Gothel screamed and held on for dear life.

"Giving us a show before she fries us?" Eugene shrugged helplessly.

"Oh, I don't think so!" Rapunzel smiled as she realized what was happening. "Pascal's trying to shake her off!"

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING YOU STUPID BEAST?!" Gothel screamed in panic as she held on for dear life.

Pascal flew in a series of loops over the castle walls as the countess desperately trying to keep her ever loosening grip. The witch was finally knocked off as the dragon took loop over the outer wall. She fell face first on the battlement. She climbed to her feet, clutching her stomach in pain

Pascal landed with a monstrous thud on the edge of the wall. She looked up in fear as he gave her a toothy grin and a deep growling chuckle.

"You can't do this to me! I made you!" Gothel screamed in fury and panic.

Pascal just inhaled deeply, causing the countess to blanch. She sprinted across the battlement as the dragon built up his attack. Finally, Pascal spat a ball of blue fire at the fleeing witch. It barely missed her, singing the wall. She vanished into a tower door, much to his annoyance. However, he sensed he was still needed in the battle. He swooped down over the fight, sending a rain of lightning flames down on the spiders as he went.

Gothel watched from an alcove as the forces of Andalasia, combined with the animals, the Dread Pirate Flynn Rider's crew and her failed attempt at a pet dragon had turned the tide. She needed more power of the coup would fail. She took off across the courtyard, dodging a pack of dwarves chasing spiders with pickaxes.

Unfortunately for the countess, Rapunzel saw her go. She figured Gothel would likely be heading to her room to get more of those magical secrets she talked about. She had to stop her before she brought back something even worse to use against her friends.

With a renewed vigor, Rapunzel sprinted past a red-haired girl and a blonde boy fight through a mob of soldiers and a horde of spiders being torn apart by a sloth bear and a panther, trying to keep on Gothel's tail. A few soldiers tried to rush her, but a quick whip of her hair sent them sprawled out on the ground. She wouldn't let anything stand in her way. She had a score to settle with the woman who called herself her mother.

She burst into the main hall, only to find it jam-packed with fighters from both sides. The princess had to fight a battle of her own just to get through the crowd. However, she was stopped in her tracks as nearly everyone in the hall was stepping all over her hair as it trailed behind her. She cursed under her breath as she gathered up her hair. Once again, her _precious_ magical hair that her "mother" had treasured was holding her back. She was half tempted to cut it right then and there, but the thought of someone getting badly hurt or dying in the fight kept her from it. Instead, she took another tactic. She noticed a chandelier hanging above the hall and her mind flashed back to a certain point that was several of those Flynnagin Rider stories Eugene had read with her.

"Well, I always wanted to try this anyway!" She grinned as she ran up a convenient nearby staircase.

At the top of the stairs, she looped her hair and threw it across the room, high over the melee and wrapped around the chandelier. With a look of determination, she grabbed the length of hair and jumped over the railing. She swung over the battle, sneering in determination despite the chaos beneath her. She landed on the far side of the hall, not even looking back as she yanked her hair free from the chandelier before charging down a corridor after Gothel.

The countess panted as she raced to her room. She threw the door open, too focused on getting to the secret lair to realize she didn't close it behind her. She dashed through the secret passage, taking no notice that it was already opened.

"I'll get something else. I'll find something _stronger_! I'll make the ones I don't turn to ashes bow before me! They'll all pay for…" The words died on her lips as she came to the bottom of the stairs.

The room was in shambles. Shelves were smashes, tables were overturned, chairs were smashed and at the center of the destruction were the dead bodies of Tyrone and Chris Stabbington.

"The swordsman!" She gasped in growing horror.

She ran towards a burned shelf and tried to sift through the ashes. She had catalogued the scrolls and books there, each filled with countless spells, and they were burned beyond recognition. She turned and grasped at a set of scrolls that had rolled across the floor, but those were soaked. She tried to carefully unroll them, but the wet paper tore at the slightest tension, and the ink had been totally washed out.

She jumped up to look around, but a cracking sound beneath her foot stopped her. She looked down in dread and found a shard of jade with markings on it. She gasped as she recognized it. It was part of a talisman that could bring statues to life. Then she saw a cracked orange gem she knew was used in fire magic. Statues and idols that had mystical properties were shattered along the ground. The ground was littered with a rainbow of shattered gems and stones, bereft of any magic properties.

Gothel gasped and clutched her head in near hysteria as she gazed around the destroyed hidden lair. The most extensive collection of black magic in the continent lay in ruins. There wasn't a single salvageable piece left. The only power she still had was the amulet around her neck and Rapunzel's hair.

'Rapunzel!" Gothel gasped. In the power drunken haze, she hadn't realized that foolish girl was out there in the battle somewhere. If anything happened to her hair, she was doomed. She darted up the stairs, muttering to herself in a panic. "I'll find her and get her out of here. She'll be safe, and then we can finish up here and…"

Her thoughts came to an abrupt end as she suddenly tripped as she emerged from the secret passage. She hit the floor face first, she moaned in pain as she looked back and saw she had tripped on a length of hair stretched across the passage entrance. Before the countess could react, the wind was knocked out of her again as Rapunzel knelt down on her back.

"Mother, I think we need to have long overdue, chat!" Rapunzel glared as she grabbed for Gothel's hands.

Gothel rolled over and shook Rapunzel off her back. She clambered to her feet and braced herself on the side of the bed.

"You're here. Good! Saves me the trouble of finding you!" Gothel growled as her amulet glowed.

"Decided to give up after all, hmm?" Rapunzel asked sardonically.

"You and I need to leave now." Gothel glared at her. "Once you're safe, I can come up with a new strategy and-"

"Don't you mean 'once my _hair_ is safe?' After all, that's what it's always been about, isn't it?" Rapunzel interrupted with a glare of her own.

"Just, listen to me, flower…" Gothel tried to regain control.

"I'm not a flower and I'm done listening!" Rapunzel whipped her hair at Gothel.

The countess dodged and sent a blast of magic at the princess without thinking. Rapunzel ducked, but the magic hit her hair.

"NO!" Gothel screeched in blind terror.

The smoke cleared and revealed the hair untouched and still blonde.

"The sun flower's magic is still in my hair… and it's power is strong than yours." Rapunzel smiled. "Well, that's good to know."

She grabbed an arm full of her hair and threw it over Gothel. It came down on the old witch like a net, leaving her magic useless. She thrashed under the golden web, trying to break free without damaging the hair. It became even more difficult when Rapunzel jumped ontop of her again.

"Get off me, you ungrateful brat!" Gothel screamed.

"Why, aren't daughters supposed to give their mothers hugs?!" Rapunzel big back.

They wrestled until Gothel finally shook the princess off and pulled herself free of the hair.

"Oh, you are going to regret that, Rapunzel!" Gothel fumed.

She waved her hands to cast a spell. Nothing happened. She tried again, but there was still no magic. The countess gasped, feeling around her neck for her amulet.

"Lose something?" Rapunzel smiled sweetly as she held up the amulet.

"Flower…" Gothel cautiously whispered. "Rapunzel… be a good girl and give that back to Mother."

"I would if she were here." Rapunzel slammed the amulet on the desk and raised her frying pan over her head.

"Wait! Liaten to me, Rapunzel!"

"Why should I listen to _anything_ you have to say?" Rapunzel barked.

"I took care of you all your life, didn't I?!" Gothel pleadingly reasoned. "I kept you safe from the selfish and cruel world that would have used you for your hair!"

"_You_ used me! You stole me from my family for my hair, you've lied to me all my life, you tried to kill my true love, and you used me to destroy this entire kingdom." Rapunzel's voice could have melted steel. "You tricked me into hiding from the world when I should have been hiding from YOU!"

"WAIT!" Gothel shrieked. "Wait, wait, _wait_! Just…just listen to me, Rapunzel! We can work together! You want the stable boy? I'll give him to you! You can have all the men you want! You want to be princess of Corona? I'll make you queen! With our combined strength, we can bring order to the world! We could rule forever! Don't you see? _You need me_!"

"No! You were wrong about the world, and you were wrong about _me_!" Rapunzel pulled back her frying pan. "AND I WILL _NEVER_ LET YOU USE MY HAIR AGAIN!"

"NO!" Gothel lunged forward, but it was too late.

The pan came down on the amulet with all the strength and rage of a lifetime of lies, crushing the tiny red jewel and the metal setting. Outside, the tide of battle suddenly turned. The giant spiders vanished in bursts of smoke, leaving Gothel's men to fight alone. What neither Rapunzel nor Gothel had expected was the immediate aftermath. The amulet's destruction caused all the power trapped inside to be released at once, resulting in a small explosion. The blast shattered the windows, blew open the balcony door and sent Rapunzel and Gothel flying backwards. Rapunzel hit the wall hard, knocking her out and sending her hair flying out the door and over the balcony. Gothel flew into her vanity, knocking it over as she fell. The mirror toppled and shattered across the floor in a hundred jagged shards.

Gothel groaned as she sat up amongst the broken glass. She found it hard to catch her breath in the face of everything that had happened. Her secret was out, her reputation and influence was in ruins, her army was losing, her best henchmen were dead, her treasure trove of dark magic was gone, and the only thing keeping her alive had turned against her. It was all falling apart. There was only one course of action: run and live to fight another day.

Her eyes fell on Rapunzel, the ungrateful child whose very existence was thanks to the theft of what was rightfully hers. "_This_ time, I'll make sure no one _ever_ takes you away again, flower."

Out in the courtyard, Eugene carved his way through the battle. A soldier swung at him, but he sidestepped him and knocked him in the face with a frying pan. He jumped away just as Pascal fired another bolt of fire at a spider that approached him from the left. He raised his sword to slice another spider, but it suddenly became unnecessary. The spider gasped, shuddered, and dissolved in a burst of smoke. He looked around and saw another one vanish. He saw the bursts of smoke across the courtyard as the spiders disappeared, eliminating a full third of Gothel's forces.

"Well, that's convenient." Eugene wasn't about to look a gift horse in the mouth.

He looked up at the high pitched roar. The dragon suddenly swerved in the air and fell to the ground. He ran to Pascal's side, just as a puff of green smoke overtook the giant reptile. When the smoke cleared, he found Pascal returned to a normal chameleon.

Eugene knelt down and grabbed the lizard before he was trampled in the fight. "You okay there, froggy?"

He was answered with a raspberry from the lizard. "Yeah, you're good."

He placed the lizard on his shoulder, not even turning as he blocked a soldier's sword with his frying pan. He whacked his opponent in the face, sending him face first into the dirt to be trampled by 101 Dalmatians. He prepared to join King Edward and Prince Naveen's skirmish near the front gate, but something caught his eye. A shock of long hair fell from a third story terrace and swung limply against the castle wall.

"Rapunzel!" Eugene gasped as he charged through the courtyard. He knew she could handle herself in a fight, but something in his gut yelled that she needed him.

He jumped over bodies, shoved past active fighters and swung over debris, never taking his eyes off the golden hair that swayed in the wind. With a running leap, he grabbed ahold of the hair and climbed. He moved faster than he ever had before as he clambered up towards the balcony. He jumped over the railing and stumbled inside.

"Rapunzel, I…" His voice died in his throat.

Rapunzel was chained to the wall, a gag stuck in her mouth and her eyes wide in panic. He moved forward only to have the wind knocked out of him by a knife plunging into his stomach. He lurched forward in agony as Gothel wiped the blood from her knife. Rapunzel cried his name through the gag as he slumped to the floor.

"Now look what you've done, Rapunzel." Gothel coldly gestured to the wounded pirate. "But don't worry, dear. Our secret will die with him."

She stepped over Eugene like he wasn't even there. "And as for us, we're going where _no one_ will ever find you again!"

Rapunzel pulled at the chains harder, but they held. Even when Gothel unfastened them from the wall, she was held back. It was a desperate tug of war for Rapunzel to reach her true love and for Gothel to escape with her daughter-turned-prisoner. The young girl was the stronger of the two, but the chain put the older woman in control. It was a deadlock; unless one gave up, neither would ever move.

"Rapunzel, really! Enough already!" Gothel snarled as she heaved. "Stop fighting me!"

Rapunzel pulled away from her captor with a last great jerk. The gag came loose as she fell to her knees from the momentum, and she let loose in rage.

"NO! I won't stop! Every minute of the rest of my life, I will _fight!_ I will _never_ stop trying to get away from you!" She gasped for breath and stared at Gothel's cold grey eyes. The tension of the chain tightened as the witch began to pull again.

"_But_, if you let me save him, I will go with you."

The chaos outside seemed to fall away in the face of Rapunzel's words. Gothel stared curiously at her, weighing if this was a ruse of some sort.

"No! No, Rapunzel!" Eugene gasped in agony beyond the wound in his gut.

"I'll never run, I'll _never_ try to escape." She continued, not even acknowledging Eugene's protest. "Just let me heal him and I'll be yours. _Forever_, just like you want! Everything will be the way it was. _I promise. _Just like you want…"

Rapunzel never raised her voice, as she laid it all on the line to the woman she thought was her mother mere hours ago. They all knew the weight a promise had to Rapunzel. If she promised something, she would keep it, even if it cost her everything.

"_Just. Let me. Heal him_."

Gothel stared at the girl in thought. She had lost everything she had built for centuries because of the princess. Part of her wanted to twist the knife and leave her lover to die as her "daughter's" final punishment. However, the part of her that kept alive for centuries knew when discretion was the better option. Better to make a quiet and hasty exit while everyone was distracted than to drag her flower kicking and screaming and raising the chances of someone intervening.

"Very well, but any tricks and he dies." Gothel replied shortly.

She unlocked the chains around Rapunzel's wrist and stalked over to the fallen pirate. She grabbed his outstretched arm and dragged him to the bed. Eugene gasped in pain as he was pulled across the floor and the broken shards of the mirror. With one last shove, he was slammed against the massive wooden frame of the bed. Gothel locked the chain around the bedpost and frame, and then attached a shackle to his wrist. Pascal helplessly watched the whole thing from where Gothel had kicked him.

"In case you get any ideas about following us, stable boy." Gothel hissed into his face.

"Eugene!" Rapunzel gasped as she dashed to his side.

"Ah!" He gasped in pain.

"_Oh!_" Rapunzel gasped at the blood seeping through his shirt. She grabbed loops of her hair and tried wrapping up his torso. "I'm so sorry. Everything's going to be all right though."

"No!" Eugene gasped, brushing away some of the hair.

"I promise. You have to trust me." Rapunzel pressed on, replacing the hair.

**"**No!" Eugene gritted his teeth, trying to get her attention.

"Come on, just... breathe." She didn't hear him, she was too focused on healing him.

"No, I can't let you do this." Eugene ground out, grabbing her arm.

That stopped her. She looked into his eyes, letting him see the tears in her own. "And I can't let you _die_. Not again."

"But if you do this..." He grunted through the pain and her attempts to shush him. "...then _you_ will die."

"Hey, it's gonna be all right." Rapunzel gave him the sad smile, as she cupped his cheek.

It was a comforting, but obvious lie; they both knew it. If she kept her promise to the evil old crone, she _would_ die. Maybe her body would live, but her spirit would be crushed. She'd spend the rest of her life as Gothel's slave, without even the comforting lie she was shrouded in before. She would never see Eugene again. She would never meet her real family. She would likely never see the sun or feel the grass beneath her feet ever again. It would be slow and painful, lasting years, maybe decades, assuming the magic had not made her immortal. If that was the case, then her only escape would be a faint hope that she could find another dose of Sleeping Death. Yet, she was ready to do it without a second thought. She had lost him so many times, but this time, she would be sure that he would live. She would endure that hell if she knew that her Eugene was alive. A pirate's life for a princess' life; fair trade.

They stared at each other for a few endless seconds and shared the same pained smile. He knew he had no chance of talking her out of it. She loved him as he loved her. They both knew deep in their hearts there was only one way for this to end. She closed her eyes and prepared to sing her healing song, when he stopped her.

"Rapunzel…wait." He gasped, running his hand along her hair.

She stared at him as he leaned forward, gently pulling her closer. She smiled tenderly as they moved closer to each other. One last kiss before it all ended. One more kiss to give her strength. She closed her eyes as she felt his hand circle to the back of her head. Then, he struck.

He had grabbed a jagged shard of glass from the broken mirror as Gothel dragged him there. As she leaned forward, he grabbed her hair in one hand and swung the shard through every strand of hair in one quick slice. She gasped in shock as he gasped in pain. The hair fell away as he dropped the glass, his strength spent.

"Eugene, what?!" Rapunzel gasped in shock.

"NO!" Gothel screamed in horror. She stared in opened mouthed horror as the hair fell lifelessly to the floor.

Rapunzel's hands flew to her hair, feeling only roughly cut short locks. She grabbed the hair on the floor, unable to comprehend that it had actually been cut. Then, the color began to change. The golden blond gave way to a rich brown spreading across the shorn tresses like fire. The hair was cut and the magic was dying off like a flower cut from the Earth.

"Oh no!" Gothel gathered the still blonde loops of hair into her arms in some futile attempt to hold onto the power that had kept her alive for centuries. The change spread, unabated by her desperate attempt at saving the hair. She gasped as the gold turned to brown in her hand, the power practically slipping through her fingers, causing he hand to turn pale and winkled. "NO! What have you done? _What have you done?!_"

Gothel ran over towards a still blond section near the shattered mirror. She reached for it, grasping at whatever straws could hold off the inevitable, but reared back in horror as she caught her reflection in the cracked glass. She shook in terror as her true age came crashing down on her all at once. Her beautiful youthful face became a mask of wrinkles, her ebony hair turned white as a sheet, and her features shrank and sagged into that of a skeletal old woman. The face that Rapunzel had seen in her nightmares now stared back at Gothel through the hundred broken glass shards. It was her own face, her _real_ face. Ancient, ugly, choked on selfishness and hate.

"NO! _NO!_ NOOOO!" Gothel screamed as she grabbed her cloak from the wall and pulled it over her head.

She couldn't bear to look at herself now. Her youth and beauty were gone; now she truly had lost everything. She grasped at the cloak and whirled across the room as she shrieked and sobbed her denial of reality. She never even noticed Pascal pulling a loop of hair into her path until she tripped over it. She yelped as she stumbled backwards through the balcony doors. With one last scream, she fell over the edge of the veranda. She plunged through the air, her screams unnoticed amidst the chaos, and vanished into the castle's magic wishing well. By the time she ended up on the other side of the magic gateway, the aging process had finished her. The final fate of Countess Gothel, witch, kidnapper, wannabe immortal and would-be conqueror of Andalasia, was to have a group of construction workers wonder why a dusty old dress and cloak shot out of a manhole.

Rapunzel stared in horror as the only mother she had ever known vanished. She had reached out for her, but there was nothing that she could have done. She gasped in shock as she tried to process the fact that Gothel was really gone, but then she remembered Eugene. She turned and saw him lying limp on the floor. His eyes were shut and he wasn't breathing.

"No, no, no, no, no! Eugene!" She pulled him up and cradled his head in her arms. She gave him a light shake, praying for a response. She was rewarded by a weak cough and his eyes blinking. It was a temporary reprieve; he had lost too much blood and he had just destroyed the only means to save him.

"No! Look at me! Look at me, I'm right here! Don't go! Stay with me, Eugene!" She desperately held him and tried to keep him awake. If he closed his eyes, she knew he would never open them again. She pressed his hand to her hair and sang the incantation. "Flower gleam and glow..."

"Rapunzel…" Eugene muttered, knowing it was hopeless.

"Let your power shine..." She continued singing frantically.

"Hey!" He tried to get her attention, but his strength was almost gone and his voice was little more than a cough.

**"**Make the clock reverse," She sang in on vain. The magic had to work. The magic was the reason she was stolen from her true family, it was the reason she was raised in total isolation, it was why that evil woman had been able to cause all that trouble; it at least _owed_ her this. "Bring back what once was mine..."

"RAPUNZEL!" It took the breath out of him, but he was able to turn her to face him.

"What?" She sobbed as she stared into his gazed eyes.

He had one thing left to do before he left her. One thing left unsaid. He had told her what happened when a dream comes true, but now it was clear this was one case where it would never come true.

"You were my new dream." He whispered, weakly squeezing her hand.

He could barely keep his eyes open, but he could feel her hands in his own and he would hold onto this connection until the end. She couldn't hold back the sob. She knew in her heart that this was goodbye.

She knew what her last words to him had to be. "And you were mine."

Eugene managed a small smile, but it slowly faded as his eyes finally closed. Gothel was gone, the hair was gone, the truth was known and Rapunzel was free. He took comfort in that in the final seconds before the darkness claimed him. A pirate's life for a princess' life; fair trade.

Tears filled Rapunzel's eyes as she heard his last breath escape his lips and his body went completely limp. Her heart splintered as her Eugene slipped away. She leaned down to his face until their foreheads touched. She wrapped her arm around his shoulder in a futile attempt to hold onto him. She didn't have words for this heartbreak, but she had a song.

"Heal what has been hurt... Change the fate's design… Save what has been lost... Bring back what one was mine..." She hoped that some remaining piece of magic or some higher power would hear her and have pity enough to grant a miracle, but she knew in her heart that it would amount to little more than singing her sweet prince to his rest. "What once was mine."

All their lives, something had always come between them. They had lost years to lies from her so-called mother, and yet they had found each other again. It seemed as though their love was strong enough to overcome anything and they would eventually live happily ever after. They had lived their dream, but now, even with all the deceptions and obstacles out of the way, the dream was over.

The tears fell as she hugged him closer. One teardrop fell onto Eugene's cheek and slowly soaked into it, unnoticed by the mourning princess. Her sobbing was cut off when a strange light caught her attention. The wound in Eugene's stomach was glowing. The light was a brilliant gold, even brighter than her hair had been. She gazed in amazement as tendrils of light flowed out from the wound, illuminating the room. The light flowed and twisted into a shape that looked like the sun or a type of plant. As soon as the thought even crossed her mind, another burst of light appeared, blooming into the shape of a flower. She stared at the ghostly, almost heavenly vision of the flower that had given her its powers as the glow started to dim.

The light flickered and waned until it finally went out. To her amazement, the wound was gone. There were no blood stains or even rips in the fabric, as if it had never happened. She turned to Eugene, her eyes wide in apprehension. Could it be? She had felt him die, but then this apparent miracle ignited a small hope. She didn't dare get her hopes up, but she couldn't help frantically searching his face for any change, any sign of life.

"…Rapunzel?" His breathless voice felt like a thunderbolt to her ears. She gasped as his eyes fluttered lazily open.

"Eugene?" She gasped in disbelief.

He had died. She felt the life drain from him right in her arms. Yet, he had said her name. He was looking into her eyes, taking in her face and her newly cut brown hair. Was it real? How could she be sure?

"Did I ever tell you I've got a thing for brunettes?" He mumbled, grinning at her.

That did it. No one else could come back from death with a cheesy line that still sounded sweet.

"Eugene!" She let out laughed in joy and disbelief and threw her arms around his neck.

He wrapped an arm around her and pulled her into his lap. She shook in a mix of relieved sobs and laughter as he hugged her. He buried his face in the crook her neck as she tightened her grip around him. They each needed to be sure the other was there; that they wouldn't disappear if they didn't hold on tight enough.

Still, Rapunzel pulled away, her hands still grasping at Eugene's collar. She laughed in joy as she looked into her true love's eyes and…

* * *

><p>"And?" Zachary prompted impatiently. "<em>And<em>… And what?!"

"Why did you stop?" Rose desperately asked their grandfather

"Well, it's a kissing part again." The King shrugged . "I know that you don't like that stuff, Zachary, so… we seem to be stuck."

"Oh…" Zachary looked away, sheepishly. "Well, whatever. It's near the end, so… it can't be that bad. I guess."

"Oh, thank you!" Rose gasped in relief.

"Well, alright then." The King smiled impishly as he returned to the book.

* * *

><p>Since its inception, the kiss has been among the most beloved and most used inventions of all time. And then, there came a kiss that took the art of kissing to a whole new level. A kiss that can move mountains, bring Heaven to Earth and snuff out the fires of Hell. A kiss that it is rightfully called the most powerful thing in the world. The much sought after, much dreamed about, much <em>sung<em> about, True Love's Kiss. They say when it is shared, time slows down, stars shine brighter, flowers bloom, and music comes seemingly from nowhere. It brought Snow White back to life, turned a beast into a man, gave a mermaid legs, awoke a sleeping beauty, turned a frog into a prince, and it even brought together two rodents of unusual size. And now, it finally happened for Rapunzel and Eugene.

This kiss was a long time coming. More than any kiss they had ever shared, this one was their declaration of their love and unbreakable bond. All their lives, there were forces at work keeping them from the life they deserved or the desires they yearned for in their hearts. After years of trials and tribulations, nothing stood between them any longer. There were no marauding pirates, no unjust laws, no cruel deceptions, no magic hair, and no evil witch to keep them apart anymore. This True Love's Kiss was Rapunzel and Eugene's personal vow that they were free from their troubled pasts and "Happily Ever After" was finally theirs.

In the annals of history, five instances of True Love's Kiss have been voted as the greatest kisses of all time. They have been remembered for centuries as the most passionate, the most pure, and the ones that have kept countless generations believing in the power of love.

_This_ one left them all in the dust.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's note:<strong>

SO, so sorry for the wait, everybody. I kept having to put it off for one thing or another in real life, and when I could work on it, I had to be sure it was just right. Hope it was worth it. If not, I await your torches and pitchforks for taking so long.

In the news, an audio adaption of this fanfic is in the works with the help of the always awesome TheITinFIT on YouTube. Auditions will be open soon after completion of this fic.

Trivia time: the giant spiders _do_ actually have something to do with _Tangled_. In the _Tangled_ game for Nintendo Wii, the final boss fight against Gothel has her summoning giant spiders to attack Rapunzel and Flynn. So, of all the crazy stuff in this chapter, that one actually _wasn't_ made up on the fly.

We're not done yet, folks. One last round before the story wraps up. In the mean time, leave a review, even if it's to chew me out for taking so long.


	20. Happily Ever After

**Chapter 19: Happily Ever After**

* * *

><p>After sharing their moment, Rapunzel got Eugene out of the chain and they descended to the courtyard. Gothel's men had all been rounded up and were either still being tied up or sent to the dungeon. All together the spiders had taken most of the casualties, with everyone else getting knocked out at worst.<p>

"Man, Gothel's guys got pounded." Eugene laughed.

"Well, they were trying to get in the way of true love." Rapunzel shrugged. "They asked for it."

"Eugene!" The couple turned and saw the prince and princess of Maldonia approach. The prince nursed a black eye as he pulled Eugene into a hug. "You old sea rat!"

"Naveen, ya jerk, all the time we had as shipmates, all the nights you said you'd kill me in the morning, and you never told me you were royalty I could mooch off of?" Eugene gave him a friendly punch in the arm. "That's just rude!"

"Hey, I was a _pirate_, my friend! It is my business to be rude." Naveen smiled.

"No wonder you were lazy jerk when we met." Tiana rolled her eyes.

"Eugene was the same way. First day I met him, he was taking a nap on the job." Rapunzel nodded.

"Does he think he's God's gift to women, too?" Tiana smirked knowingly.

"Oh yeah, and that I just can't help but fall to pieces when he does his cute faces." Rapunzel laughed.

"Oh no, our girls are bonding." Eugene groaned halfheartedly.

"Welcome to domestic bliss, my friend." Naveen shook his head in cheery resignation.

"Hey, Rider, you and your girl sure know how to party!" Dr. Facilier laughed as he straightened his torn top hat. "Well, seein' as I helped pull your bacon outta the fire, I think a little compensa…"

"Shadow Man! Fancy seeing you here!" Tiana gave the witch doctor a hostile smile.

"Yes, quite the reunion, no?" Naveen gave a sneer as he tepped up next to his wife.

"TIANA! NAVEEN! Well… it's a small world after all! All of us meetin' up like this? Eheh… You know, forget what I said, I'm actually feelin' kinda worn-out, so I'm just gonna head out! If ya see Mama, tell 'er I went home. Gimme a call if you need anymore miracles! BYE!" A puff of purple smoke erupted and Dr. Facilier was gone. Until they noticed him several yards away, running to the front gate as fast as he could.

"You know that guy, too?" Rapunzel asked.

"There was an issue where he made us frogs." Tiana explained, glaring after the retreating Shadow Man.

"It was actually not bad, since as frogs, we spent our first few days together naked." Naveen shrugged.

"Naveen, you're on very thin ice." Tiana warned.

"Want to borrow my frying pan?" Rapunzel offered brightly. "I find it very useful when Eugen misbehaves."

"And I have the concussions to prove it." Eugene rubbed the side of his head.

"I might take you up on that." Tiana grinned. "But, right now, we better help get everybody situated."

"Yeah, and we need to find Walter and his parents." Rapunzel grabbed Eugene's hand and dragged him through the crowd.

Maximus had taken over directing the guards while Captain Phoebus recovered from a bad hit to the head. He rapidly barked out orders to secure the castle and take care of the prisoners. It was really impressive to see him bark out orders, since horses usually neigh.

"I can't believe you got beaten by a couple kids and their grunkle." One of the soldiers growled as they were led away in cuffs.

"At least _I_ didn't get captured by a toy cowboy and spaceman!" The second growled back.

"THIS ISN'T OVER!" Screamed Yzma, was still in the form of a rabbit, being carted off in a cage to the royal petting zoo. "I'll be back! No petting zoo can hold me! I'll get my revenge on all of you! You'll see!"

"Pipe down and get walkin', you degenerate creatures of darkness!" Barked a small white dog.

"Better do what Bolt says," purred his feline friend. "Otherwise he'll have to use his super bark."

"You can stop teasing me about that anytime, Mittens."

"That dog is so cute." Nancy commented to Edward as they bandaged a couple injured guards.

"He is… but he just can't get my name right." Edward laughed.

"You too?! He's been calling me Queen Adel since the reception! And why did he think Queen Elsa's name was Dezeem?" The queens shared a laugh as Rapunzel and Eugene appeared.

"Hello, Your Majesties. Have Gothel's boys been giving you trouble?" Eugene smirked at the scene in the courtyard.

"Queen Nancy, are you alright?" Rapunzel stooped and hugged her in relief.

"Hey, Punzie!" She smiled as she hugged her back. "We're fine. Just fixin' some scratches and bumps, and sending the left over baddies to the dungeon."

"Hey, Pacal, way to go with the witch!" Pip gave the chameleon a thumbs up.

Pascal whirred in pride and then asked something in lizard.

"Nah, we had it handled. Those goons were easy pickings. Heck, it was harder to get my cousins Chip and Dale to quit fightin' _each other_ long enough to actually fight _them_!"

"Yes, this was truly a marvelous event! We haven't had such a romp with everyone since… um, Rapunzel, what happened to your hair?"

"Oh, well, Eugene cut it to get rid of its power and stop Gothel." Rapunzel ran a hair through her newly short hair.

"Oh." Nancy took a closer look at her new do. "It actually looks nice!"

"You think?" Rapunzel asked self-consciously.

"Oh yeah! In fact, now I can see the family resemblance better." Nancy smiled.

"Really?" Rapunzel asked.

"She's right; you look much more like your real mother. …Or at least the way she looked the last time I saw her." Edward went on before gasping. "Good heavens, your _parents_! We have to take you back to your parents!"

"Oh….. oh my gosh." Rapunzel's mind reeled. "My mother… my _real_ mother and father! I have a father! What… what do I do? What do I say? What if they don't believe I'm their daughter? What if they don't like me? How am I going to…?"

"Blondie, calm down!" Eugene grabbed her shoulders. "They're your parents. They've been looking for you all this time. They've been sending out those lanterns for you every year. I don't think you have to worry about them not liking you."

"And we'll vouch for you, of course, Milady." Walter intoned as he walked up, wiping spider guts from his sword.

"Your Highness." Eugene curtly addressed the prince.

"Rider." Walter replied just as coldly.

"Actually, it's _Fitzherbert_. Eugene Fitzherbert."

"My mistake."

The two glared at each other, with the only thing keeping them from another sword fight was the fatigue and the presence of Rapunzel and the king and queen.

"I suppose you'll have to be pardoned now, considering you rescued a princess and saved the kingdom from Gothel's conspiracy." The prince grudgingly admitted.

"Might be nice, thanks."

"I'm sure Mother and Father will see to it." Walter nodded and cast a quick glance at Rapunzel. "Do I even need to tell you that I'll snap you in half if you hurt her?"

"Acceptable terms, wouldn't expect less from somebody knows Rapunzel and claims to be her friend."

"Sorry this whole thing didn't turn out so well." Rapunzel reached nervously for her hair. "Though, I guess it's a bit too late, now, seeing as we're still technically married."

"What?!" Everyone balked as they realized the ceremony had indeed finished before the battle began.

"Oh no…" Walter groaned.

"Well, actually, you _aren't_ married. Andalasian law strictly states that any legal decisions made by parties under the influence of magic, evil or benign, cannot be held as legally binding. Walter was under a love spell, and thus not liable for any decisions made under duress. And seeing as Rapunzel truly did not want to be married at all, she also entered this under duress. Either of these circumstances nullifies the agreement, but most damning of all took place in the church. Gothel told Bishop Shorty to just declare you two husband and wife and skip the 'I do' section. Everyone knows that marital vows must include both parties saying 'I do' or it just doesn't count."

Everyone stared dumbstruck at King Edward.

"What? I'm the king, for pete's sake, I'm supposed to know these things. Why does everyone always think I only get by on my looks?" Edward asked.

"That's my smarty pants." Nancy hugged her husband.

"Well… that clears things up a bit." Rapunzel chuckled as she turned to Eugene. "It looks like we're finally in the free and clear. Uh, sorry, Walter"

"Not at all. I'd never be able to live with myself condemning my friend to a loveless marriage." Walter turned to Eugene. "Still, your taste in pirates does worry me."

"When I met him, he was a stable boy." Rapunzel smirked.

"Blondie!" Eugene whined.

"Not sure you can call me that anymore." She motioned to her hair.

"Nope. Sorry. Not happening. Been calling you 'Blondie' since we met, I don't care what your hair color is now, 'Blondie' stays." Eugene flatly stated.

"Well, if you insist." Rapunzel giggled as she hugged him. "Still, Walter, sorry you and your family had to go through all this."

"Nonsense. Being royalty comes with occupational hazards, like evil witches, magic spells and big nosed pirates."

"I beg your pardon?" Eugene growled.

"Walter, Eugene, don't make me separate you two." Rapunzel sternly told them.

"Actually, I was just going to help tend the wounded on the other side of the courtyard. So, I'll just be go-OH!"

The prince paused as a young woman bumped into him and dropped a basket of cloth and bandages.

"Oh, I'm so sorry!"

"No, it was probably my fault."

"Really, miss I do apologize, I just…" Walter trailed off and his eyes widened as he took in the sight of the woman.

"Oh, Your Highness, I uh…" The woman was a little younger than him, brunette, greyish-green eyes, almost like Rapunzel but more ingrained with high society.

"Let me help you with those." Walter hurriedly grabbed up the cloth and presented it to her, trying to think straight despite the music he alone suddenly heard. "My apologies again, Miss…"

"Oh! Um, Abbey! Abbey, Your Highness, Lady Abbey of Weselton. I'm here with my uncle, the Duke."

"Lovely." Walter gulped, staring into her eyes. "I mean, uh, it's lovely that you could make it! Yes, quite!"

"Well, um, I need to go." Abbey blushed.

"Oh, of course. I need to be going too. I ned to help bandage up the wounded on the other side of the courtyard, so I better be going."

"The other side of the courtyard? What a coincidence, I was going that way to do the same thing!"

"Oh! Well, would you like to go out with me? I MEAN, UM… Would-would-would you like to go and tend the wounded with me?"

"Um, sure! Absolutely, Your Highness!" Abbey grinned excitedly.

"Please, call me Walter." He gave her a warm smile.

"Well, all right… Walter." Abbey smiled giddily.

Rapunzel, Eugene and the Royal Couple giggled as they watched the flustered prince go off with the Weselton girl.

"He's been dreaming…" Edward began, and got an elbow to the ribs in response.

"Don't. Ruin. The moment." Nancy's smile never wavered even as she hissed through her teeth.

* * *

><p>The next day, the people of Corona City were faced with a most unusual sight. The city had ground to a standstill upon seeing what approached them. Even from the castle, the King and Queen took notice. Out in the harbor, the strangest fleet they had ever laid eyes on sailed towards them. There were royal ships from Andalasia, Agrabah, France, Arendelle, England, Wonderland, and many more, and all with the pirate ship <em>The Smolder<em> leading the way.

Onboard the pirate ship, the crew scrambled to get everything ready for their captain's departure. They had sailed all this way, and it still needed to be ready for a swift getaway once their "guests" went ashore. Maximus had once again taken charge of the crew, using Ulf as an interpreter, and Vladimir as an interpreter for UIf.

Inside the captain's cabin, Rapunzel and Eugene, got ready for their last voyage. The satchel was already packed with their frying pan and the flag from her birthday.

Eugene began packing a second satchel, but with only one thing inside: the iconic clothes of the Dread Pirate Flynn Rider. Now that he was retiring, he's hand it off to someone else on the crew, and let the legend continue.

"Well, time to go." Eugene said, folding the outfit for the last time.

"Are you going to miss being Flynn Rider?" Rapunzel asked quietly.

"Nah, it's time for someone else take up the sword. Besides someone told me recently that she liked Eugene Fitzherbert better than Flynn." He smirked as he wrapped an arm around her waist.

"Hey, CAP'N!" Came a pounding on the door. "We're here!"

"Thanks for ruining the moment, Attila." Eugene groaned under his breath.

"Don't worry; we'll have plenty of moments later." Rapunzel smiled as they left the captain's cabin.

"Trim the sails! Weigh anchor!" Vladimir relayed the orders from Ulf from Maximus to the crew as they approached the bay.

"I can't believe we're back." Rapunzel smiled. "It seems so long ago since we spent my birthday here."

"You're finally home, Princess." Eugene smiled.

"We're finally home, you mean."

"Well, my home's anywhere you are, so I thought it went without saying."

"Shut up."

"Whatever you say, Blondie."

Rapunzel went across the deck and to where Hook Hand, Vladimir and Ulf where helping Maximus run the ship.

"So, what's your decision, guys?" Rapunzel asked. "This is a pretty nice place. You could be happy here, and it would be nice to have some friends around while I learn to do this whole princess thing all over again."

"You know, it's funny." Hook Hand gazed at his sword. "I've been chasing vengeance all my life. And now that the Stabbingtons are gone and my folks are avenged, I don't know what to do with myself."

"Have you considered piracy?" Rapunzel grinned. "With your talent as a swordfighter, you'd make a decent Dread Pirate Flynn Rider."

Hook Hand hummed in contemplation. "Nah! I'm tired of fightin'. I think I'll go back to playing piano. Less headaches."

"I think I'd like a new job too. Somethin' quiet. Maybe I could make ceramics!" Vlad smiled at one of his unicorns.

"Well, since I'm going to be a princess, maybe I could help you all out. After all, you helped me find my dream."

Ulf smiled and made a heartfelt gesture.

"How about you, Max? Are you coming with us, or do you wanna stay behind and become the first horse pirate?" Rapunzel asked teasingly.

Maximus gave an affronted snort. As if he'd ever leave her alone to deal with that idiot Eugene!

"Cap'n." Big Nose and Atilla addressed Eugene. "It's been an honor."

"Hey guys, and you don't need to call me captain anymore." Eugene smiled, holding the satchel with the Dread Pirate suit.

"Still, it's been an honor." The pirates saluted Eugene.

"Couldn't have asked for a meaner, seedier crew of cutthroats, villains and sea rats." He saluted back.

"Oh dang it, I promised myself I wouldn't cry." Big Nose sniffled.

"Guess all that's left is pick the next Dread Pirate Flynn Rider."

"Don't look at me, Cap'n." Attila waved off. "I'm retirin'. Thinkin' of startin' up a bakery."

"I'll take the place, least until a better guy comes along." Big Nose smiled. "Besides, you guys got something to keep you on the straight and narrow."

"Hey, don't be like that." Eugene admonished. "I've spent years trying to get together with my true love. Yours is bound to be out there somewhere."

"Well, we'll see." Big Nose smiled.

"HALT!" A shout came from the city. The guards had apparently readied the city's defenses in the face of the pirate led fleet. "COME NO FURTHER! STATE YOUR INTENTIONS!"

"Oh great." Eugene groaned. "Here we are trying to bring back their princess and they're ready to shoot at us."

"What do we do?!" Rapunzel gasped.

"Well, we just tell them what we're here for and… hope and pray they aren't dumb enough to fire." Eugene sheepishly explained.

"Great. These are my people, so, let me do the talking." Rapunzel nodded.

"But they'll be expecting to talk with the guy in charge, who in this case is the Dread Pirate Flynn Ri-" Eugene trailed off as Rapunzel grabbed the satchel and quickly threw the black mash and shirt over her dress.

"Can someone get me a megaphone?" The Dread Pirate Princess Rapunzel ordered.

"Uh, sure, Your Royal Captainness…" Atilla handed her the horn.

She grabbed it from the helmeted pirate and charged up to the deck and addressed the men onshore.

"Attention, people of Corona, this is the Dread Pirate Flynn Rider! I know you're probably getting ready to fire on my ship, but I wouldn't advise it considering your Lost Princess is onboard!"

The Coronan guards were visibly stunned.

"You heard that right, the Lost Princess is onboard and if you want her back, you will listen to our demands! Number 1: you will _not_ fire on us, because that's pretty rude considering we're returning your princess and all. Number 2: the princess and her rescuers will be coming ashore momentarily, and when they do, you will take them to see the King and Queen! They've been apart long enough, don't you think? And number 3: Once the Princess and her friends reach the shore, we'll be leaving and you will be a good sport and not follow us! If you refuse our terms, we'll be forced to storm the city and deliver the Princess to the King and Queen ourselves! You have ten minutes to accept our terms!"

Rapunzel jumped back down to the deck as the crew stared at her audacity. She tore off the mask and tossed it to Eugene. "That should do it, don't you think?"

"I don't think I've ever been more attracted to you."

The response came quickly. "ALL RIGHT, SEND THE PRINCESS OVER."

Fifteen minutes later in the castle, one of the Lock Guards burst into the royal suite, wide eyed and out of breath. The guard stood there in a daze, almost unable to process the miracle that he'd seen with his own eyes.

The King and Queen jumped at the sudden appearance. "Is our daughter home?" That unspoken question was always on the King and Queen's faces whenever anyone arrived unexpectedly. Ironically, now that he could finally answer "yes," the guard couldn't find the words. His tongue failed him, so he just nodded.

The King and Queen gasped and rushed from the room. They vaguely heard the guard shout that she was waiting at the balcony as they ran past him. They ran faster than they had in years, careening through the castle halls, causing maids or guards to leap out of the way, knocking over furniture without a thought, their minds focused on getting to the balcony before their daughter disappeared again before they could reach her.

They reached the front doors of the castle and hesitated. They looked to one another for strength and pushed the doors open.

A couple the King and Queen did not recognize stood where the royal lantern always waited on their daughter's birthday. Rapunzel and Eugene turned at the sound of the door, their hands still clasped in obvious trepidation. The King and Queen stepped partially out the door, giving the younger couple a long, appraising look.

Rapunzel stepped forward, as did the Queen. Whatever doubt existed in any of their minds vanished when Rapunzel and the Queen locked eyes. The King couldn't help but realize how much the girl looked like his wife, and Eugene couldn't help but realize how much the Queen looked like Rapunzel.

Mother and daughter met halfway, and looked for all to see like they were mirror images of each other. The Queen reached up to cup Rapunzel's cheek, and gave a teary laugh of relief. She's home! Rapunzel gave her own crying laugh. My mother.

The Queen pulled Rapunzel into a hug, both shedding tears of joy. Rapunzel looked over her mother's shoulder at her father, who gave a relieved chuckle before wrapping his arms around his wife and child. The three of them sank to the ground, still desperately holding each other. Their family was whole again for the first time in eighteen years.

Eugene smiled at the reunion. He briefly considered slipping away and letting Rapunzel enjoy some time alone with her parents before getting it all bogged down with explanations of who he was and his criminal past. That plan went out the window when the Queen opened her eyes and extended a hand to him. He assumed she was extending a handshake in thanks; instead, when he took her hand, she yanked him off his feet and into their family group hug.

Well...you can image what happened next. The kingdom rejoiced for their Lost Princess had returned! The party lasted an entire week, everyone from the wedding in Andalasia attended, and honestly, with the amount of wine involved, quite a few people didn't remember most of it.

Dreams came true all over the place. Without interference from Gothel, Corona and Andalasia entered a new era of peace together. Prince Walter and Abbey really hit it off. The same time the following year, invitations were sent out for the Andalasian Royal Wedding: Take 2. Thankfully, _this_ ceremony went on without any complications like a pirate attack, an attempted coup, or being presided over by Bishop Shorty. Walter even burst into song about his love for her while reciting his vows; his parents were _so_ proud.

Hook Hand went back to playing piano and went on to become the most famous concert pianist in the world. Attila became a royal pastry chef, and his cupcakes went on to quell many a tough negotiation with foreign dignitaries. Vladimir opened a ceramics shop, the specialty item, of course, being a series of unicorns. Big Nose took up the mantle of the Dread Pirate Flynn Rider until he eventually found true love and passed the title on. Bishop Shorty stayed in his position as a man of the cloth and was often seen "blessing" the kegs at the Snuggly Duckling Pub. As for Ulf the mime, well, everyone assumed assume he was happy. He never told anyone otherwise.

Maximus joined the Corona Royal Guard and eventually rose to the rank of general. Thanks to Maximus, crime in the kingdom disappeared almost overnight…as did most of the apples. Pascal…never changed, but anyone who knew him was glad for that.

At last, Rapunzel was home and she finally had a real family. She was a princess worth waiting for. Beloved by all, she led her kingdom with all the grace and wisdom that her parents did before her. And as for Eugene, well, he stopped pirating and basically turned it all around. The two of them went on many other adventures together, but none quite as amazing as the one that brought them together.

But I know what the big question is: Did Rapunzel and Eugene ever get married? Well, I am pleased to tell you that after years and years of asking, and asking, and asking…

"He finally said yes!"

* * *

><p>Rose, Zachary and their grandfather jumped at the voice.<p>

"Mom, Dad!" The twins cheered as their parents entered the room.

"Hey, kids." Eugene waved as he sat at the foot of Zachary's bed.

"Oh, how are my sweethearts?" Rapunzel smiled as she hugged her son and daughter.

"We weren't feeling good before, but Grandpa told us a great story." Rose said, hugging her mom back.

"Oh, which one?" Rapunzel asked.

"This one in the _Nineteen 80s_ Collection." The King showed his daughter the title page.

"Oh, of course, _that_ one." Rapunzel rolled her eyes.

"You know it, Mom?" Zachary asked.

"You could say that." She shared a knowing look with her father and husband.

"Yeah, you can't go anywhere without somebody talking about it." Eugene shook his head. "Still, can't really blame 'em, it's a great story. It was actually based on how your father and I met."

"What?!" the twins gasped.

"So, you got lost in a Fire Swamp?" Rose asked excitedly.

"And Dad had a big swordfight with Uncle Hook in an abandoned castle?" Zachary eagerly asked

"And Pascal got turned into a dragon?"

"And fought a witch with an army of giant spiders?"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Rapunzel laughed. "Actually, no, those things didn't happen. The writer kind of added some things to make the story more exciting. I certainly never tried to stab your father with a sword."

"No, but you sure knocked me out with a frying pan, plenty of times." Eugene rubbed his head.

"But, the part about how your dad used to be Flynn Rider, and I had magic hair? That was true."

"Cool!" The twins said together.

"I thought you would have figured it out when we told you not to ruin the moment." Rapunzel giggled.

"What?" Zachary asked.

"Remember when Zachary was complaining about the kissing during the lantern scene, and the _book_ yelled at you?"

"Wait, you two did that?" The King asked, shocked. "Oh, thank goodness! I thought I was losing my mind."

Rapunzel and Eugene shared a laugh at their little prank. "You should have seen your faces."

"Wait. You mean, you've been listening to us read?" Rose asked.

"For how long?" Zachary demanded.

"We got home a while ago and Grandma told us you were getting a story from Grandpa." Rapunzel explained. "We got to your bedroom door just after the part where Eugene and Yzma had the battle of wits."

"Well, why didn't you come in and see us?" Zachary angrily asked.

"Well, you were having such a good time with your grandpa, and you two were so into the story, we didn't want to interrupt." Eugene shrugged. "Besides, if we were here, you'd probably stop the story even more asking us if all those things in the story were true or not."

"I guess it's pretty dumb thinking all those things happened." Zachary thought it over. "Especially Dad dying and then coming back because Mom cried on him."

"Yeah, I guess that's kinda silly." Rose giggled at the thought.

They didn't notice their parents and grandfather exchange sheepish looks.

"Right… silly. Well, that's it then." The King said, closing the book.

"Wait, it's over?" Rose asked.

"I'm afraid so." The King shrugged.

"But, that… that can't be the end already!" Zachary pouted.

"Sorry, children, but that is how the story ends." Their grandfather shrugged.

"Well, technically, the story is still going, seeing as your mom and I are still around." Eugene draped an arm over Rapunzel.

"That's true. So, I guess the real ending is that your dad and I are living happily ever after… until our next adventure." Rapunzel knelt by the beds and kissed the twins on the forehead. "Now, you two better go to sleep. It's way past your bedtime."

"Aw, can't we get another story?" Rose moaned as her mom tucked her in.

"Yeah, like that one Grandpa turned to when he dropped the book!" Zach excitedly offered. "With the bad guys in the tall building!"

"No." All three of the grownups answered.

"That story's a little too scary and violent for your age." Rapunzel said, pulling the blankets up to Zachary's shoulders.

"Just give it a few years, and if you're good, I'll read it to you when you're older." Eugene offered.

"Eugene." Rapunzel gave him a warning glare.

"What? It's not like it's the worst thing that came out of the _Nineteen 80s_." Eugene defended.

"Well, that's for another time. Goodnight, sweethearts." Rapunzel said as she switched off the lamp.

"Goodnight, Mom." They replied together.

"Sleep tight, kids." Eugene said as he moved towards the door.

'Goodnight, Dad."

"Pleasant dreams, kiddos." The King smiled as he tucked the book in hid arm.

"Goodnight, Grandpa." Rose said.

Zachary suddenly sat up and addressed his grandfather nervously. "Uh… Grandpa?"

"Yes, Zachary?"

"Uh… if you're not doing anything, do you…" He really didn't want to be the one to ask, but it looked like Rose was already falling asleep. "Do you think maybe you could come back and read us that story again tomorrow?"

Rapunzel, Eugene, and the King shared a smile.

"Whatever you say, Blondie." The King smiled as he pulled the door shut.

"Hey, don't call me 'blondie' just cause I got blonde hair!" Zachary sourly called after them.

"Good night!" Came a reply through the closed door.

The twins turned in their beds as they got comfortable. Falling asleep was a slow process, especially for little kids, so they had enough time for one quick conversation.

"Rose, are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Zachary asked as he pulled his covers up.

"Sneak that book when we get the chance and read that _other_ story?" Rose smiled mischievously.

"Bingo."

"Totally, but…" Rose yawned. "Maybe later."

"OK." Zachary yawned and the twins soon found themselves in dreamland.

"Thanks for dealing with the kids, Dad." Rapunzel gave her father a hug.

"It's always a pleasure, dear." The King smiled. "Well, I better get to bed too."

"Your Majesties." The Captain of the Guard approached. "All's quiet on the patrols, and your luggage has been taken back to your room."

"Thank you, Walter." Rapunzel smiled gratefully. "We'll be heading to bed now. We were just checking on the kids."

"Still sick?" The Captain asked.

"'Fraid so." Eugnene shrugged. "But they had fun with their grandpa telling them a bedtime story."

"Oh that's ni…" Captain Walter froze as he saw the book in the King's hands. "Oh no. Please don't tell me it was that "Bride Princess" story."

"Actually, yes." The King smirked, as the Captain grew more irritated.

"Oh, that stupid book! Do you know how much trouble that story has caused me?" The Captain growled as he marched off. "Can't even lead patrol without being mobbed by girls asking why I'm posing as a guard when I'm the Prince of Andalasia! Stupid, insipid, hack writer…"

"I'm just glad Abbey has more of a sense of humor than him." Rapunzel giggled. "When I first read that story, I was a little afraid she'd think something was going on between Walter and me."

"Oh, I think everyone knows better than to think that." Her father laughed.

"Yeah, like you would ever even look at another man besides me!" Eugene laughed as well.

"Always the modest one, eh, Eugene?" Rapunzel gave him a slap on the chest.

"Well, I'm going to turn in, see you two in the morning." The King yawned.

"Goodnight, Dad." Rapunzel waved as he father went upstairs. "I'm glad they had fun with their grandfather."

"Yeah, though, you think he could have picked a story that wasn't so much trouble." Eugene smiled as they walked to their room. "I mean, yeah, it's a good story, but some of the things they added are just crazy."

"I… sort of agree. It's not like it ruins the story or anything, but some of it does bug me. Like, why am I crying all the time?" Rapunzel laughed as they walked. "Sure, I can be emotional, but I don't think I cry that much!"

"And their portrayal of me is a hair away from being slander." Eugene nodded. "Bad enough the _Captain_ gets written as a prince and _I_ get made a _stable boy_, but then I'm a _masked_ pirate?! Cover _this_ face with a mask, are they crazy? Totally unrealistic!"

"Right, that's _totally_ unacceptable." Rapunzel laughed. "Come on, Mr. Dread Pirate. This princess bride has had a long day, and right now I wanna just curl up in bed."

"And you'll need your Flynn Rider pillow, naturally." Eugene gave her his smarmiest grin,

"No, I need Eugene Fitzherbert." Rapunzel him a sardonic grin. "If you see him, _Flynn_, be sure to tell him I'm waiting for him."

Eugene smiled and put an arm around her shoulder. "As you wish."

**The End**

* * *

><p><em>Happy New Year!<em>

And that's it! The end of _The Tangled Princess Bride_! It's been a long road, but here we are. It's sad to see it come to an end, but it's the way things are.

I'd like to thank everyone who read, favorited, followed and reviewed this fic, as well as everyone who contributed to the TV Tropes page or recommended the story to anyone else, and I hope I didn't let you down and I hope it starts your New Year out right!

Keep an eye out on Youtube for an audio adaption of this fic made possible by TheITinFit.

Thanks everybody and I'll see you in my next story.

**COMING SOON: Rapunzel and Eugene will return in ****_Tangled Die Hard_****. Coming soon to a FanFictionNet near you! Yes, it's actually getting its own story!**


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